TOO DUSTY DOWN HERE!

"Another one bites the dust..." Ughhhh!

BITE THE DUST? NOT ME!

RETURN...YEAH! Ya know what? I am so F'kn tired of reading that people miss me, etc., When the truth IS: I am missing YOU! If you'll let me back in, I want to blog some more. Is it Pride? Who cares? Maybe, that is not my gravest concern at the moment.

Whether it is humiliation (I'm experienced with humiliation--read the blog) or Humility, or EGO (I don't think so!) or simply wanting to stay in contact, because I NEED YOU PEEPS! This is part of my survival, nothing more. Whether ANYBODY reads, comments--good or bad--none of that matters any more to me. I need it, it's here, and I'm staying, NO MATTER WHAT!

If ya don't like that, well Fk...don't read it! Simple? This blog is about me...not you. If someone can be helped by staying sober with me today...have at it. Welcome, friend.

The shit in my brain is not too deep though, so NO DIVING! Let's get on with this crap. Just delete the blog prior to this one, OK? I'm fine, wife is fine. One more thing. Someone named LYN (I don't think I even 'know' her, but I will!) commented on my 'Last Blog' posting

..."another one bites the dust...".

THAT DID IT! I simply CAN NOT, WILL NOT, be "another one" who bit the dust. I hate dust, It makes me sneeze. Thank you Lyn...we usually never know what affect our words have on another--right? Well, you do now! Blessings for you, dear.

STEVE'S FIRST SPONSORS, PART TWO

That first sober summer was for me spent in escape, at first by sleeping, then by working. I was so run down physically, and was mentally an imbecilic and an Einstein during any ten-minute period.

Some inconsistency might be seen in a description of myself on the one hand my being nearly a vegetable, and on the other hand, playing violin and tending bar, with deftness and skill. I had developed a great tolerance for alcohol over a nearly thirty-year piece of my life.

But today I wish to relive the experience of my first attempt at being a meeting chairperson. Sometime in the fall, Betty B, a long-ago (1934) student nurse who had worked in Dr Bob's operating room, decided that her friend Steve E (me) should chair an AA meeting.

DIXON'S DIRTY DOZEN

Sober six months, and more wobbly than a brand new-born colt--I mean I could hardly walk without holding onto something--she gave me two weeks to "prepare".

I gathered together a meeting topic, all my assorted pamphlets, Big Book, 12 X 12, As Bill Sees It (then called "A Way of Life in AA"), AA Comes of Age, numerous articles, photos, and my very own yellow legal pad with enough written on it for TWENTY meetings!

I was armed, and ready, to teach these old guys and old girls all what I had learned in six months. I was age 41 at the time of all this. When I began the meeting I said, "Let's begin with the Serenity Prayer." Then I forgot how it started, and I said out loud, "Oh God!!!" and everybody said at once as one voice, "Grant me the serenity to accept.......etc." It was my moment of triumph. I knew God was with me. Was He?

Unknown to me, interspersed around the crowded room at the newly constructed 24-hour club, sat Twelve men, mostly older, all in suits and ties. (These were "Dixon's Dirty Dozen, a group of AA men who enjoyed traveling, and playing lots of golf and 'crashing' AA meetings.)

As I began to read something lengthy from one of my documents, I realized this was the "Finest Moment" of my "Finest Hour"...I had arrived, and my body language showed it. It was certainly the defining moment of my place in AA history.

One of the strangers in a suit stood, introduced himself as "Bill D, from Pittsburgh", and he began to talk. Since I was so full of patience and tolerance (and Bull Shit--grin!), I let him ramble on. Then, before I could say, "OK people, this is MY meeting....", another stood, then another. These alien creatures had invaded earth to harass me and my meeting. And there were Twelve of them...12 Steps? Was God playing a trick?

It was the second of only two times in my life when I was visibly shaken, crying like a pooped baby, yet had a huge SMILE on my face as if to say, "I planned this whole thing Ha-ha-ha!"

Well, ya know? I got through it, cried all the way home as I felt I had been made a laughing stock (years later I found out that was true) of the group of AAs in Naples FL "Naples Group", my home group today. This was not humility, this was humiliation.

But whatever, I passed several liquor stores that night on the way home--I even stopped in the bar where I worked on the other six nights a week, to see if I could get into any trouble. I did not drink, then...or now. I had never heard the words "No Matter What" but that's what I DID--"Not drink--No Matter What."

And that's what we'll all do together today...right?

Peace and Love
Steve E

FIRST SPONSOR, FIRST FRIEND--PART I

STEVE'S FIRST SPONSORS, Part ONE

Betty B was a student nurse at City Hospital in Akron Ohio in 1934. She worked in the operating room, where Dr Bob sometimes "officiated". She had no idea Dr Bob was an alcoholic, but did recall that his hands shook sometimes, and his eyes were nearly always red, bloodshot.

She thought a lot of Dr Bob. She said , "When he walked into a room, he brought 'something different'". She could "feel it".

Only many years later, when Betty B herself came into the AA program, did she then realize that City Hospital's Dr Smith, and AA's Dr Bob, were one and the same.

She said that he was the "kindest man, especially to all the nurses and really so to the student nurses".

Betty Brooks was kind of short, with the most beautiful grey eyes. They sparkled as if she had dusted them with some magical powder--like those Tinker-Bell pictures I remember. Her eyes matched exactly the color of her perfect, tightly-wound hair with a bun on back.

And her smile...her smile was a genuine outpouring of wordless things, like, "Come on in. It will be all right. You can do it. You are loved. You are respected. We all know you here. Come back next week. Don't drink between meetings." While others were saying these things with near-rude gruffness, this old woman, Betty, simply smiled those words lovingly while nodding her head at a newly sobering alcoholic.

How do I know this? Betty was my first AA friend. I did have a sponsor, Jim, right off the bat. He and Betty worked together with me, and it worked! It seems to me now, that AA people worked together more then, than now. The year was 1974. My brain was pure mush..no exaggeration, and my life was chaos, but I was unaware of that. All I desired was a gallon of White Port to get me through this AA business this night. Betty helped me so much. I now know why she was present at every meeting I attended.

Betty and her husband Paul occasionally sat at the bar where I worked, offering me support with glances of encouragement, or a few (private) AA bon mots during the evening. I also played violin behind the bar at that time.

Warning...digression coming. Reminds me...for those who have been following all year this is an old story:

My sponsor asked me once if being sober for 4 weeks affected my violin playing. I told him definitely, in a negative way. My vibrato was slow, notes out of tune, bow scratching produced a bad tone, and a weak sound was all I could get out of the box. Without missing a beat, he said, "Oh! Your hearing got better!"

Translated, that remark meant to me that my life all along had been a real mess, but that I did not know it until I sobered up a little. Awareness had begun to happen.

And this is how that awareness is today translated: The second part of this blog will be tomorrow night...or I'll be again into Blongsville. NOTE: A "Blong" is a looong blog.

To all peeps: Let's stay sober today? That is NOT a question!

References to BettyB and Dr Bob taken from "Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers" Page 46 and 48.

EARLY DRINKING CAREER: APPRENTICE

ROLL ALONG LITTLE BUGGY, ROLL ALONG....

MY EARLY CAREER:
DRINKING, THAT IS!

Walking up the road this morning brought to me memories of more than 60 years ago. Each Sunday through the summer months there happened about one mile up the road from our farm, what we called a "picnic" in a place called a Grove. It was really a miniature carnival, with lots of food, booths, bingo, and a very sparse assortment of "kiddie" rides, and a nice small pasture for our horses.

The main attraction was--what else?-- the BEER tent. It commanded the central piece of acreage. Being very young, I remember this home under canvass, being like an acre in area. (It was not!) Whatever, it was the most busy place, with hundreds of men, mostly farmers and suppliers, very few women, standing around talking extremely loud from 11 AM until 10 PM. Every summer Sunday.

These events were sponsored in turn by Kiwanis Club, Democratic Party of Delhi Township, Republican Party of Delhi Township, Masonic Temple--you get the idea. Small town beer brawl.

My father and I walked many a Sunday to this affair, sometimes accompanied by my year-younger sister. When we began these adventures we were about ages 10-12. Often we (my sister!) would hook up one of the mules, Jack or Kate, or sometimes one of the horses, Pete, or Jerry. We had an old-fashioned, covered, small, wagon-type vehicle with four wide-rimmed wheels--about four feet in diameter. I DO recall it had a one-horse-power engine, which used as fuel a product called oats. These were fun days before alcohol became a real problem for me.

However, I did display alcoholic thinking--without the heavy daily drinking--at this time. The world revolved around King Me! It was common for us kids to have a beer or two, or more, in my case. The sponsoring organization of the day had a "Twenty-One-For-A Dollar" gimmick, whereby anyone and/or everyone could participate. It was easy. By paying a buck, their name, or business name was announced over a terribly loud speaker system. 21 beers were sent around the tent's yardage of plywood table. And anybody could just amble up to the plywood counters, grab a beer, and have at it. And I did. And I spent most of my day there. it was exciting to be around the "Big Boys".

I remember being 'adopted' by a group of older girls (ages 15-17--I was 12) as a kind of mascot. They liked me (my perception?) to hang around them--drunk. that's when I learned a few things--how to hug, how to cop a feel, how to kiss, and etc. Needless to say, this was all part of the "happy" part of my childhood--grin! How I hated to see summer end. But there was always next year, next summer. And I lived for Next Year, believe me.

A SIDE NOTE: My "next years" turned into nightmares of a "maintenance" daily gallon of White Port, OR a daily quart of Vodka, plus a lot of other drinking--so I became a bartender!

This story so far is lacking an important ingredient. My father. Amid all this: the walk or buggy ride, the music, the noise, the constant free-flow of malt and hops, the girl-gang who "liked me" (Ha!), Pop--as I called him--remained always a constant anchor. The end of our stay would arrive--we always made our exit before the party became a small non-atomic war.

My father had by then bought his share of TWENTY-ONES FOR A DOLLAR...on "Steve Elsaesser Dairy Farms...Buy Direct and Save".....and we all drank MORE than our share, I guess--after all, I was not concerned about who else was drinking...or not. I know Pop came home with us--he, sober, more or less. And we had only one mile to walk, or take our "fun" buggy ride in the dark. The engine of "one-horse power", had waited patiently in the shade for us.

My father would say to me, "Are you OK to steer this thing home? Did you water the horse?" I'd answer "Yep!" Understand...that this man who operated a large dairy farm, who advertised his business with "21-for-a-dollar" beers, who made certain his children were having fun, who somehow coaxed us home and into bed--this man, my father--was sightless, totally blind!

He always...always told me that I was not an alcohlic, that all I needed to do was drink in "moderation". Oh, how I hated that word!
Because, unknow to him, there was no "moderation" in my dictionary.

He had not yet totally lost his hearing. That would come later. That story is worthy of a blog. (Hey, THIS story turned into a blog. Whaddaya know!)

Peace and LOVE, and sobriety today, Peeps
Let's get out there and DO it!
Steve


NO TRIVIA TODAY, maybe I shold just leave this out. After all, what the F'k does it have to do with alcoholic recovery, helping others, God, spirituality, or even anyone's interest???

AGAIN!!! DUCK!!!!

ONE MORE TIME, NOW--SMILE!

5 AM in Naples FL

Early Friday morning, in the dark, I sneaked out to check if there were any movements of concern in the duck nesting at our front door. Did I really hear a "peep"? YES! There were several peeps (not YOU "Peeps!) as the ducklings were hiding under Momma Muscovi.

I spoke gently to the 'family' and told them I'd be right back with camera in hand. They waited patiently. For I knew they would soon be gone. Several eggs did not hatch. I believe she chose poorly her incubation place, upon--and in--rocks (egg rocks--coincidence?).

So now they are gone, it is Friday night. And you know what? Neither Prayer-Girl nor I have even thought of using our front door throughout the day. Already a habit has been set! Probably never use it again? NOT!

Is it not interesting that we have avoided use of our front door for 30 days, because of the hatching process? And it's non-use has already become a habit?

Is it not coincidental that if I stop drinking for thirty days, one-day-at-a-time, I may well stay sober?

For years--only because it would mean a change in my thinking--have I fought against the use of phrases like "Do ninety meetings in ninety days", and "Bring the body, the mind will follow".

These sayings were not in common use when I got sober. I did not hear of "90 in 90" until I'd been sober ten years, and then thought it ridiculous. Working six nights (bartender) I would have had to turn away from AA if 90 in 90 were a rule in those days...no daytime meetings in Naples at that time, either.

Well, those recommendations now make a lot of sense to me. Imagine, it took God, speaking through a DUCK, to get it through this numbskull the benefits of HABIT. Habit-forming behavior! How important that is to many of us alcoholics, who did not receive a blinding-flash-of-light-spiritual-type-experience. We did not receive that instant release from our compulsion-obsession, and so we accepted it slowly over a period of days, sometimes months.

This duck sat on those eggs day-after-day-after-day, until it happened, the release of her babies from their confinement. So my alcoholic desire was released from me after days of sitting, not on eggs, but on my HANDS!

From this Momma Duck I learned the meaning and the reward of persistence. In thirty days I learned appropriate defenses (from taking a drink), daily practice of being satisfied, humility to do the job in front of me no matter what it is, and this duck also taught me again how to give love to someone outside of myself. Momma Duck denied herself many of her natural luxuries, just to do as God intended, sit on those eggs until their time had arrived.

She taught me that when I speak loudly, (she) the listener might become offended, defensive, frightened, or just "tuned out". She taught me that when I speak softly, gently, she listened, 'smiled' (well, you know!), was unruffled, and might even have heard what I was saying -grin! (Just like at AA meetings!)

I should be as true to my God as is Momma Duck, and I'd be a saint. She did more than her "job"...she took on the work of teaching a human how better to live. And I begin thinking now that all nature has lessons for me, if I but open my eyes, my ears, my mind, my heart.

And I'd better hurry, for time is gushing, rushing downstream to the dam below...see? Do you SEE? Already I forgot to observe nature, which is unhurried by time or seasonal passing. Nature is the teacher par excellence of patience, unhurried in it's march of praise to God, its Creator.

Peace, and Love, Peeps!
Steve

TRIVIA

Q. Didn't Roy Rogers once make a gay movie?

A. What's a gay movie? In 1952 he starred in a film called "The Gay Ranchero". But it had nothing to do with sexual preferences.

AA MEETING BEFORE BREAKFAST

"OUR FATHER....."

WANT A JOB?
GO TO A MEETING!

My 7AM meeting Thursday was interesting--to me. It is speaker plus discussion The girl speaker told of how being a GSR (she is new at it) was so good for her. A whole new level of activity which many AA members do not realize exist. She mentioned her service several times, and how it has enhanced her program--immensely!

Well, it came time for me to talk--I couldn't hold it back. I told the roomful of alkies that for several years I had been "considering" "trying" service on the District level (as if there are 'levels' -grin!). Just like the guy who sits in back, and says "I'm just here to audit, I don't think I'm a real alcoholic." That's the way I was about being a GSR (General Services Representative). So I told them I had received that final "push" I needed this morning, and I was going to ask my Home Group if they'd like me to assume that office.

Please understand that I have been in AA service in the past, many years ago. This is simply a return to service, filling a certain emptiness in my life, and that of my group. And so I am familiar with the benefits...

We have not had a GSR for several years. I do believe it is a necessary function of AA, so that a group knows what is going on around the counties. Also so that the other groups know what is going on in MY group.

Well, I'll get to the punch line here. The chairperson of my group--the "cookie" meeting--was in the room. Polly is her name, maker of the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. She shared and during her short speech, she yelled out at me..."YOU'RE HIRED!" Of course, everyone laughed because they knew I had just talked myself into a job which not many are standing in line for, GSR.

Just wanted to let you all know what is happening to this old guy, who seems to never want to quit. I have seen not a few, but many, MANY guys stay around for my length of time, wither, dry up, blow away, and die. Not drunk...but not really happy.

I want to be happy, I want to live, I want to do what our Big Book tells us..."We absolutely insist on enjoying life." So long as God gives me health, and after, I intend to live my life for Him...so much of my life was pure sewage. Alcoholics Anonymous is the way I can best do this, is the way I see it today.

Tonight at that same "cookie" meeting I get to tell the traditional weekly joke, and this one is really funny. I may blog it the next time I'm too tired to sit without laying my head on the keyboard. Two hundred people will be there...I hope there are some cookies left after they all dig in--lots of our peeps there are from treatment centers--but that's another blog also.

Let's all stay sober--with me. We did a good job of that yesterday.

Peace, you all!
Love.
Steve

TRIVIA

We keep up with things here: The standard biblical punishment for adultery was to be stoned in the marketplace, or wherever. More than half of the national population now think that sounds like fun.

IT'S WAKE-UP TIME!

WIDE AWAKE.....

6 AM in Naples FL

This morning I went for a short walk up the road--up is not the correct word, there is no "up" or "down" here. You might refer to us as Flatlanders. It is a word I detest, because I love being in--or on--mountain(s).

It seems all nature has or should have ups and downs. All being level, flat, is boring. But, I do ride a scooter. The only hills I get to travel are traffic fly-overs, and that is fun. Yesterday though, it seemed as if every one of those had a cop sitting at the top, looking for guys like me, who have taped over their speedometers.

I've been working in the yard these days, sometimes too much. Today I shall buy a power saw, because cutting tree trunks with a hand saw has been taking too much energy, and time. At the rate I'm going trees will have grown back, where I have sawed down at ground level.

Yesterday, I attended three real good meetings. Of course the best was one I chaired -grin! (humility here) I used the reading from "God Calling" and peeps were eating it up (the topic). Then one fellow spoke up, almost shouting to the 45 people there, that "Some people (me!) should be more careful about what they being into an AA meeting. You should be ashamed of yourself for reading out loud from material which is not 'Conference Approved'" And he ranted on a bit about that. Actually I was shocked at the outburst of negativity.

The guy was sober 10 years, which matters not, but thankfully, in my (many more) years, I've learned to keep my mouth shut when attacked, and God may take care of things. Well, God did! Each person who shared after that expressed happiness at "being at that meeting, that day, at that time in their life, etc." By the way, I had announced at the beginning that I was reading from "sponsor-approved" literature! And my old sponsor was sitting there also!

Right now I'm sitting here before sunup, feeling sorry for the guy who actually made an ass of himself. At the same time I'm thanking God, that I was allowed to keep silent, as it states in our Big Book:

"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned." --BB. page 84

Well, I don't know about the "sanity" part for me, but I have been slowly giving up the "fighting" part. Arguments for me are just bad--I still have not learned how to handle them. Some people are born "mediators". I was born a "Caesar" (do it my way, and we'll get along).

This would bring up that topic of "Change". Which is a big one, for me. The Doctor's opinion is "...unless this person (me?) can experience a complete psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery." BB Page xxix.

So here is my change for today. I am kind to everyone I meet today, and I greet even strangers with a smile, and let them see not me--but the God within me! (Come to think of it, that's a GREAT change from the "old Steve", I don't even know him any more.)

Peace and Love, Blogger Peeps.
Steve

WIPED OUT!

Steveroni just WIPED OUT tonight...back tomorrow. Sorry, peeps!
Bless you.
Love.

TRIVIA

Earthworms are 72% protein, and less than 1% fat. If they were prescribed as the only food in your diet, you'd lose weight, sure enough. I'd starve maybe!

DUCKS AND THINGS!

MOMMA MUSKOVI DUCK UPDATE

Momma Duck "Smiley Face" is still sitting on her eggs, sometimes standing over them, as if they're ready to hatch. I'm betting sometime within a week. She goes off nest twice each day to look for water, and a bite to eat--she refused our Ezekiel Bread! It will be fun to send you all a photo of the ducklings. It will also be fun to use our front door again.

The males have left her alone now, never see them "hangin' 'round any more". She is V.E.R.Y. protective. So when I approach Smiley, I talk in a gentle voice, reassuring her that I mean no harm, that all is well, that God will take care of her and us, and not to fear me.

Know what? She just settles in there and looks at me like she understands. All those years on the farm, ducks were just egg factories and/or dinner. Smiley has become one of the family. (I even told her I love her, and I believe she winked!) F.Y.I.-- PG did hear me say that to Smiley!

SOME AA SAYINGS--NOT!

For today's blog I just had to get un-serious for a change. OK?

TEACHER: Remember children..."I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-Dave Barry

"Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know, I've been taking it for years."
-Tallulah Bankhead

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
-Ernest Hemmingway

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label."
-Mark Twain

"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?" -Dennis Leary

I drink to forget I drink

Alcohol was necessary for me so that I could have a good opinion of myself, undisturbed by the facts.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. - William Butler Yeats

Liquor made me feel the way I ought to feel without liquor. – Henry Lawson

I’m not as think as you drunk I am. – Unknown

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

This is me: "I don't get resentments. I give them." (That's the truth! I'm not necessarily proud of this.)

And here is my favorite "truth"...spoken by a recovered alcoholic:
"The dead drug leaves a ghost behind. At certain times it will haunt the house."

TRIVIA:

Note: Do not know if this is still true:

Police in Helsinki, Finland rarely give parking tickets. They just let the air out of the tires.

Will y'all stay sober with me today? GOOD!

FRIENDS FOREVER!

Note to "xxx"
...Forgive easily, laugh joyfully, and serve
others with Love and compassion.
There happiness is.
And keep writing.
US

FELLOWSHIP OR FRIENDSHIP

Tuesday I chair the 8 AM "Early Risers" AA meeting. It is the one for which I was a 'no-show' last Tuesday. Do you remember the meeting in which I apologized the next day, and they looked at me as if to say, "Whatcha talkin' 'bout, man?" What a beautiful moment in my week! A moment of virtue being learned.

Anyway, topic tomorrow is about FRIENDS in AA, and what they mean to me. My AA friends mean more to me than all 'friends' before. These are the people--finally--who accept me at face value, who neither fame nor defame, neither applaud nor blame, neither rate, nor berate. They only share out of love.

Friends, the night after my first AA meeting--I did not even know their names--came to the cocktail lounge where I worked and sat at the bar, in what I figured was the AA way to 'police' their own. How wrong was I! They (usually three guys) came in to be supportive for me, at my job, which was pouring a tank-truck-load of alcohol into glasses for people to drink. In fact, these bar visits by my new AA friends probably are a huge reason why I did not drink since the night before my first AA meeting, a long time ago.

So many who helped, spent time--and money, so many who lent their expert advice, so many who did actual physical labor at my house, so many who patiently tolerated my ranting , my lengthy 'shares', my stupid perspectives, my truth-stretching, so many of these are friends today. Most who were here when I first walked into the room, have passed on. But I find myself frequently quoting them, verbatim, though I do not remember who said what...nor when.

Without friends like mine from sober day one, I would not have had "sober day TWO"! I would not be here today. And so for me there is but one goal left...that is to pass it on, help others to recover from alcoholism. And I only can do that by practicing certain principles in ALL my living of life today. Yep, those Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. A spiritual way of living.

In several areas (family?) I have run into brick walls, walls that maybe I have built. God will either remove them, or let them be. He has not yet 'talked' to me about that -grin! Or perhaps I've not listened to the Spirit-Voice.

Back to topic: FRIENDS.

Fellowship means Friendship. I prefer the friendly term, maybe because I felt so friendless for so many years. So empty. So alone. So forsaken, so abandoned. SO DRUNK! I chose the prison I had built for myself, to be the place where i should die. Death did not come. It did not happen. God intervened. New friends, many of whom had lost everything, saw in me something worth saving. And there I was. God intervened. And here I am.

Two of the alcoholics I know have mountain homes, one in Colorado, one in North Carolina. We have a standing invitation to visit, and enjoy what they have worked so hard for. Isn't that just miracle stuff? For me, it is.

And now, with some years of sobriety, God has sent me to you bloggers. What a profound difference you have made in my life. I have a new motivation to write, to learn, to share, to just be among you. I have learned how to better meditate, pray, spread happiness and good cheer, relate and identify with the new person in the room. I am learning where God is, and where He is not.

Without you bloggers, and our unseen but extremely personal and spiritual relationships, my life today might not be overflowing with love, and I might not be eternally grateful. I might never have translated gratitude into action.

PRAYER REQUEST

Two specific matters in the lives of young people close to us which are very disturbing, will be ongoing for some time. And if anyone has room on their prayer list, please add our intentions. Thank you, dear blogger peeps.

Love,
Steve E

TRIVIA

Did you know the literal meaning of Bethlehem? "House of Bread".
WOW!

DA BOMB

NEW DAWN OR NEW WORLD?

My Home group NEW DAWN is where between 60-80 people meet every day at 7 AM. For ten years this was a simple "meeting" without "group" affiliation. Last fall we became a Group, and that's when "stuff" began.

One faction (for want of a better word) was armed and ready for battle. They have pushed through a couple dozen "rules", i.e., nobody allowed to talk beyond 2 minutes. Each business meeting there are constructed and voted more rules, or simple changes in wording of former rules. (Reminiscent of a small bureaucracy.)

Another group wishes for the "old" days when we simply held "group conscience" meetings. They (we) realize the necessity of being a contributing group. Note that all the officer positions are filled, about 30 attend the business meetings, and that is all good. The rub comes here:

Each Thursday we invite a 'speaker' who uses about a half hour, then we discuss anything after that. The last two Thursday-morning speakers shared SO 'from the heart'. They are not "old-timers". Both were slightly nervous, and obviously not versed in the grand art of public speaking. But their (one each of last two Thursdays) messages were clear. They are truly loved by their AA fellow members.

(Briefly!) After each of those Thursday meetings, the chairperson received telephone calls (two different callers), saying he had better get some "better speakers". This has devastated the chairperson, and the speakers, and potential speakers.

Almost all members of the group find the behavior APPALLING! Fear pervades those who might be asked to speak. NOTE: the callers--who broke several Traditions--each are heavily influenced by this group of "old guard" long-timers. Bad scene. This self-righteous group of gurus is called by all--even themselves, proudly--"The Jury"...and yes, there IS a judge.

Maybe it is time for a serious "group inventory" or at the least, some serious 8th and 9th Step work.

We are handling it--you betchum, Red Ryder--but I wanted to put this out there, so every one of us realizes that AA with all its miracled wonderful goodness, experiences some member-waywardness now and then, usually at the group level. But there is not a single cold human heart which cannot be melted by prayer, talking, mediating, more prayer, and finally a splitting of a group...if it comes to that.

And as we know, NOTHING which happens now has not happened before. And survival of Alcoholics Anonymous has prevailed through all these nearly 75 years.

The marvelous miracle we witness daily here, upon which we all agree...is that miracle of one drunk talking to another drunk--and both staying sober. Praise God!

Peace and Love, blogger peeps...
Steve E

TRIVIA

Unnoticed sounds pitched too low for the human ear to recognize, still can make people sad. How sad!