FRIDAY FLASH 55

Don't know how to word this:  If you write a story using exactly 55 words, then let this guy know about it. He is the G-MAN aka Mr Know-It-All (don't we all? --grin!). He is in charge of this show!  Then go visit the others who posted 55's...it's FUN......

Here is mine:


Sister and Sister spoke tonight. Nuns in Alcoholics Anonymous and Alanon.  Each gave a glimpse of Who is God.  He is:  Who so awesomely gave two hundred fifty of us a program by which to live sober...we, in one big room, listening to Rose and Maurice, let His spirit shine from within to without.

_____________________________________

The two traveling nuns were excellent speakers at our "cookie" meeting last night.  They impressed on us once more what really wonderful miracles we ARE,  having been rescued from hell...What a Wonderful World!

Peace, my Peeps.
and Sober Love.
Steve

PRACTICE

Yesterday I introduced my new "Profile Photo" because it seemed appropriate and time for a change.  It is a photo of my own violin, made in Paris, France in 1856 by Georges Chanot.  I paid about $1,000 when I bought it in 1954, and it would cost about $50,000 today.  That is average value for a decent violin.  I play it every day--except when on scooter trips--and play in public regularly.

PRACTICE YOUR VIOLIN, STEVE

Oh, the suffering I endured as a child, age between 6-9 as I was told that I must practice my violin first before enjoying the fruits of childhood.  Playing outside, making friends, networking, fighting, hurting, being hurt, making up. friends forever--those were the things I gave up.  By the time I got outside, the games were over, most had gone home, and I was left to go shovel a lot of stuff in the barn.  Yeah, that kind of stuff, guys.  

But I did not mind the work, it was the practice, practice, practice.  For WHAT?  

Now I know for what.  It was that I learn as much about playing the violin, so I could play it for myself, for others, for God.  And I could even teach others how to play.  Well, that's not entirely true:  I could teach others how to practice!  That way, they might learn to play.

NOTE:  Always I have heard sports figures on their jobs being described as players.  The same with musicians, "I'm 'playing' tonight"...or "Are you 'playing' anywhere?"  It is "work", folks...work.  Football or music, it is work, a job.  True, it is satisfying.  But not always fun.

PRACTICE THE PRINCIPLES (STEPS)

I'm sure you can see where this is going.  Alcoholics Anonymous "Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."  Ah, yes!  "Practice!"  There is that word again.  Practice.  Do I have to?  Must I?  If I want to stay sober, yes.  I do certain things.  I practice.

If I wish to love others and be loved by others, I must practice these Principles.  If I desire to possess some semblance of serenity, happiness, and peace, I will practice in all my doings--these twelve steps.  I guess the key word IS "practice".  

I do not have to ever perform solo on the concert stage of Alcoholics Anonymous.  I just have to practice daily, everywhere and all the time, these things which I have learned--from  someone else who practiced them before me.  And if I want to live--I mean really LIVE...the simple recipe is to continue to practice.

Football players do it. Baseball players do it. Hockey players do it.  Marathoners do it.  Soccer players do it.  Violin players do it--all their lives. And millions of recovering alcoholics do it--all their lives!  It's called "Practice".

Let's DO IT!
Peace.
Love.
Steve

HUSH NOW. GOD IS HERE

MY NEW PROFILE PHOTO

Warning, a discussion follows on prayer, meditation, 

and God, of course--as each of us understand Him is implied.

SILENCE!

I recall in the first grade, Sister Rose Gertrude--when all else would fail--yelled out (her whole four feet of body shaking) "SILENCE!"  And boy, would we get quiet.  A pin dropping sounded like a baseball bouncing on the floor.

 
SHHHHHH!

In the small country church, at certain times during the service, it was so quiet that it was LOUD.  But quiet lent itself to a feeling of peace, of serene power.  I remember counting my heartbeats, because I could hear them, in the silence.

One of our early sober men said when I "talk" to God, for me to be quiet, and know that He is God, not I.   This was my first inkling into how to "implement" meditation and prayer, how to start.  I realized that quietness had to be a part of it.

I have seen people agitate, grip their hands together, and with furrowed, sweaty brow, beg the Lord's mercy, and that may be good for some. My praying has evolved now into a meditative mode.  I sometimes simply desire to BE with God, just be there, and enjoy the moments.

Meditation is union with God.  If I am upset, making plans, counting minutes or rosary beads, wishing to be somewhere else--now--it is very difficult to form that union, that desired Oneness.  

Leading me to meditation can be told in one word--Silence. Being quiet is the beginning of meditation.  It can be the beginning of a new life.  I told you last week that my 3,000-mile 17-day scooter ride to Virginia, was for me a life-changing event, an experience that allows me now to look at the universe in a totally new way (for me).

Naturally, I cannot predict the longevity of my present thinking, but I'll tell you this, that my WHOLE SELF feels different.  There is a different person in this body.  The few people who might be affected by my behaviors may scoff, but I know what I know.

My gratitude to God right now stems from the people God arranged for me  to meet during my ride.  Several taught me valuable lessons, by baring their souls to me, a stranger.  Others, caring and sharing, were at church celebrations, AA meetings. Still others were those random meetings of "strangers in the night..." And how wonderful are those chance encounters, as the spiritual moments happen with openness.

Recently I  found myself at a Taize service, during which many successive moments were spent in silence.  I could feel the common heartbeats of 45 people slowing to a murmur, and I could "feel a presence" of something other than us peeps.  Others felt this also.  It was like a change-of-heart happening, a change of many hearts simultaneously moving toward a source of power.  There was a Spirit guiding in that church-room and it was not us.

Silence--true meditation--goes beyond words and thoughts, themselves so limited.  I have been taught through years of early schooling what, Who God is. I have been given my "picture" of God.  But nothing of God is as I have learned to imagine.  There are NO words or thoughts which might describe God.

Hundreds of years ago a great mystic wrote in "The Cloud of Unknowing",  "You want to know God? There is only one way of knowing Him:  By unknowing."  I must get beyond my mind and my thought. Then only will I be able to perceive Him with my heart.

And in the noiseless moments, the stillness, the quiet, the silence, I can "know God", briefly at first, then more and more as time endures, I can live with Him and He with me.

Peeps--oh, THERE you are!
Peace.
Love.
Steve

OWNER'S MANUAL

ANGEL'S TRUMPETS...THEIR SCENT
PERMEATES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

GPS

A few days before I left on my solo scooter ride from Naples Florida up the east coast to Virginia, I bought a GPS. A Garvin nuvi 260W, at Costco...probably a closeout model.

The first time I used it I was disappointed, frustrated. It did not perform how I wished. It kept leading me to wrong street names, wrong turns, wrong house numbers. There was a problem with its distinguishing between E and W and SW directions. In other words, it worked somewhat--but as I rode my scooter through many miles of busy streets of Orlando, Florida, holding a GPS, trying to read it and listen to the "voice", somewhat was just not good enough.

A few days later, I had called my host in Richmond and whined, "I cannot get there from here." She said, "Use your new GPS, Dummy". (I don't know if she really said "Dummy".) I told her, well it is quite useless, and when she asked why, I had to admit I had left the User's Manual back at home in Naples. A lot of good help that provided for me in Virginia!
_______________________________________________________________________

SOBRIETY

Well, not for everyone, but certainly for me, my recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous would be utterly useless without directions. As I walked through that door for the first time, I had not had a drink since the night before at midnight. I was in a hazy daze, which would continue for a number of years. In this state of ill health, broken body, broken spirit and broken brain, I needed to be told immediately after the meeting, what I would do.

I must have explicit, detailed instructions on what to do, and how to do it. Otherwise I'd have done it my way--the easier, softer way. Otherwise, I would have failed. I'd have died drunk many years ago. That is fact.

My Owner's Manual--or user's manual--for AA is our Big Book. Everything I need to know (this is ME I'm discussing here!) is in the first 164 page of that book...including the "Doctor's Opinion." This is my textbook, my never-changing day-to-day volume.

The AA "User's Manual" teaches me how to behave in almost every imaginable situation, what to say, and when to say it. It teaches me how to live life on life's terms. And it shows me how to pray and meditate. It even practically orders me to laugh. It gives me a list of things to write about. The Big Book shows me how to be rid of fear, guilt, remorse, anguish, and heart-pain. And so I learned in the Big book, how to be Happy and at peace.

I learned--am still learning--how to live again. I gratefully praise God, from Whom came my gift of sobriety. It arrived to me through AA members, and continues to be dished out to me by you Blogger Peeps.

I pray for you all to enjoy some peace in your lives!
Love.
Steve

OH PROMISE ME........

Hi, Peeps!

Just a change of pace here. If I do not continue to work the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, these are some promises I might realize:

If I do not continue working these Steps, I will be amazed at how quickly the following will occur:

I will not be free, nor happy.

I will regret the past, and wish to shut the door on it.

I will know neither serenity nor peace.

I will never understand how I could ever help others.

Full of self-pity, I will feel useless.

I will be interested only in myself, not in anyone else.

I will seek only my own desires and satisfactions.

My whole attitude and outlook upon life will suck.

I will fear people...and economic insecurity.

Situations I used to handle will now baffle me.

I will suddenly believe that God has left me out in the cold.

None of these remarks are extravagant.

They happen constantly to millions of us.

They will ALWAYS happen to ME, if I stop working the Steps.

Please understand, none of these bad things have happened to me yet. This turning point I have reached tonight has allowed me to observe our promises in a new light.

The "Promises" are really an expression of my Spiritual Life. They are a WAY OF LIFE for me. IF I have worked the Steps diligently, fearlessly, entirely, directly, promptly, and willingly--then this is the point during which the first powders of that "sober dust" will be sprinkled around--that is the way I like to view it. It is just "my thing", OK?

Following are the real promises quoted from our Big Book.
___________________________________________________________

Now read on for the truth of the matter, the "real thing"......

From our book Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 83-84 are a list of what we lovingly refer to as.......

The AA Promises

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not.

They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will always materialize if we work for them."
--Pages 83-4 Big Book

Peace to you all, with love.
Steve

WAKE UP TO LOVE

This Sunday I could not resist sending the following chapter from the book AWARENESS by Anthony De Mello (PAGE 9) for any who are interested in a brief dissertation on LOVE:

ON THE PROPER KIND OF SELFISHNESS

The first thing I want you to understand, if you really want to wake up, is that you don't want to wake up. The first step to waking up is to be honest enough to admit to yourself that you don't like it. You don't want to be happy. Want a little test? Let's try it. It will take you exactly one minute. You could close your eyes while you're doing it or you could keep them open. It doesn't really matter. Think of someone you love very much, someone you're close to, someone who is precious to you, and say to that person in your mind, "I'd rather have happiness than have you." See what happens. "I'd rather be happy than have you. If I had a choice, no question about it, I'd choose happiness." How many of you felt selfish when you said this? Many, it seems.

See how we've been brainwashed? See how we've been brainwashed into thinking, "How could I be so selfish?" But look at who's being selfish. Imagine somebody saying to you, "How could you be so selfish that you'd choose happiness over me?" Would you not feel like responding, "Pardon me, but how could you be so selfish that you would demand I choose you above my own happiness?!"

A woman once told me that when she was a child her Jesuit cousin gave a retreat in the Jesuit church in Milwaukee. He opened each conference with the words: "The test of love is sacrifice, and the gauge of love is unselfishness." That's marvelous! I asked her, "Would you want me to love you at the cost of my happiness?" "Yes," she answered. Isn't that delightful? Wouldn't that be wonderful? She would love me at the cost of her happiness and I would love her at the cost of my happiness, and so you've got two unhappy people, but long live love!

PEACE to you all, peeps!
STEVE

Support Requested

Please, Peeps, check out ANAYA, (and her new blog) sober a couple days now. She could really use support from some of us, and seems open to suggestions.

Her blog--and a meeting--got me "out of myself" this morning.
Peace!

(Early BlogI today) IT WORKS!

YOU ARE GOD--NOT ME

Couple years ago I had the pleasure of working with (playing masses) a church music director, Jamie. She is now Music Director at another church in Naples. We did have a wonderful collaboration, musically and personally for nine months.

During one weekend, I was invited to a special retreat for "music people". One of the most wonderful moments for me was a service called "Taize"--I still do not know the full implications of Taize, except that I was touched then and forevermore, just by participating.

I just called Jamie, who promptly invited me to a repeat retreat, right now, get ready, GO! And that is why this Saturday blog is early. I marvel again at God's Gifts to me, at His allowing me to again experience His Softness, His soothing Graces, His Forgiveness, His LOVE, in the Taize format...or ANY format!

I realize this is not to do with recovery in general--but it is to do with my recovery. So please allow me this variance from my usual ranting about staying sober, being happy, peace, love, etc. This IS my recovery, Peeps!

Without having been given this beautiful program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I would NEVER have acquired the habit of kneeling every morning, and praying. Praying not for what I want, but for what God wants. And there are two words to which I cannot lend enough stress: "IT WORKS!"

Let's stay sober today, and pass it on to another. We are saving lives here. If a couple souls get wrung out in the bargain, I see no reason to complain.

I love my Peeps!
Steve E

RECLUSE NO MORE

ME--MR SHY GUY

NOTE: This repost is slightly edited.

A blogger wrote me concerning a problem she was experiencing, and it was so in tune with some of my own life's trials. In remembering my own willingness to humbly ask God to help me in this regard, and to pass along this information (Third Step Prayer) I answered the letter as follows...

TO: Name Deleted

Glad to have a chance to chat with you here, in reference to your comment on my blog this morning, and how you see me as "easily meeting and talking with people". It was not always like that. In fact, AFTER fifteen years sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, I was as yet quite shy, although beginning to mask it with emotional outbursts of anger, joy, sadness, and the like--I mean real outbursts!

Wow, this could turn into a Blong (a long blog --grin!). I was very shy as a child. Alcohol, of course alleviated that to some extent. But, as they say, my problems really only began when I stopped drinking. Before that, drinking SOLVED all my problems. I became reclusive, and isolated like you-know-what--a skeleton in a closet.

"And then one day", as the story goes, I guess (don't know) I got tired of seeing all these people--some of them with only one year sobriety--enjoying life, enjoying themselves and each other, while I, with fifteen years dry in AA, embarrassingly sat somewhere alone. I even wrote a poem "I was alone and lonely. Also I spoke to no one, and the world seemed a strange place....etc." What is that about, in our wonderful Big Book "...Grave emotional and mental disorders."???

So I 'forced' myself to talk to strangers, they seemed to be the easiest, because people who didn't know me had no prejudgment. Little by little, I just started smiling, acting happy, talking to everyone, saying exactly what I think. NOTE: I have recently found this (what I think, that is) to be sometimes NOT too good an idea! Some thoughts are best left between God and me.

I do not hide any more behind words. And now I AM happy! I walk across the street any time we have new neighbors, to meet and greet them. Most are foreigners, Latin, and I can 'feel' their love after a time. I have some stories about that also. Here is one:

An early morning knock at our front door brought me face-to-face with new the owner of the house next door. He is Haitian, could not even speak English. But his sounds and gesturing let me know, that the water company was shutting off the water supply to our house. I got outside in a hurry. As it turned out, the water company staff had 'fingered' the wrong house, even the wrong street.

This all happened because I went over in December as they were moving in, and offered to help by watching them work -grin! In times not long back, I'd have never even glanced at the new neighbors, not known where they were from, what work they do, how many children. I was even then learning to get away from 'me' and into 'others'. How much more beautiful does this make life? I cannot tell you. Each of us must find our own path in these matters. For me, it makes my life indescribably better, more fulfilled, more happy!

Everywhere--yes everywhere--I go on my scooter, I wave to people and smile (big). It amazes, it awes me, how many people now wave back and smile with me. They 'know' me now. I always talk with people at meetings who I do not know--I've become real good at that "first responder" type of encouraging, enthusiastic, meeting with a new person.

And now it has become EASY!!!! And I forget how it used to be (even in sobriety--for years) until you or someone reminds me. So I thank you more than you know--for letting me see what God has done in my life, what I could not do for myself. And NONE of this is my pride, what I'm writing you...just the way it is. I believe that is why God keeps us blogging--to share with one another what marvelous changes He has brought about in our separate lives.

I make mistakes, talk out of turn, say too much, embellish a bit, etc. I get by with stuff because of age, and 'time' sober, and by "grinning". God smiles at me, and I cooperate--daily--which gets me through almost each and every day in a safe, happy way. By the way, nothing could make me happier at this moment, than if something I wrote here is of help to you.

And with that, I've got to get to a 6 AM meeting--it's 5:10 AM here. (I may use this as my blog tonight, but of course, I would delete your name from it.)

I truly LOVE your work, your words, your pictures--as do so many of us. Thank you for all that!

Sincerely, with love for AA and God,
Steve E

And, sober today is what we'll be--right? RIGHT!

THE RIDE HOME

A Picasso Masterpiece,
by Kristin

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

Did ya ever get tired of being happy? I do not mean to say I wish I were unhappy. Certainly I will not "pray to be" sad, depressed, unhappy. But toward the ending of this 3,000-mile scooter ride, I will need a rest. I intend to go to meetings and not talk. (Ha! I'll let you know how THAT turns out!) Whatever the outcome, I CAN picture the Great Reality, the God-Spirit--"resting on the seventh day".

About 30 years ago--sober, and in AA--I decided to ask God for "adversity" in my life. I had read that true saints prayed for bad things to happen to them, so they could observe God overcome their difficulties. See how SICK I really was (am?), peeps? Well, I'm here to tell you, that WAS the worst year of my life. All hell, all chaos, mayhem, illness (as yet undiagnosed, 33 years after!!), split family, penniless, it was a BAD year--it SUCKED!

That year 1976 is as memorable to me now, as THIS year and this "ride" will be twenty years hence. Except that replays of 2009 and my scooter ride--especially of the people I've met, lived with, worshiped with, scooter-toured with and enjoyed good times with--will live beyond this life. It just will be that way. Somehow, I know this.

WEDNESDAY:

It is nearly 350 miles from St Augustine to my home in Naples FL. I enjoyed the ride immensely. Something about the freedom of two-wheeled highway action which is SO appealing to me. The camaraderie of riders everywhere seems even stronger and more real--honest--than alcoholics, sharing their stories and their lives. This was my first exposure to that beautiful, immediate oneness--that willingness to be helpful--which is felt by most every rider out there. No matter how far one is from home. In fact, the farther ya travel, the more they seem willing to assist in nearly anything and everything.

Lots of McDonald's "triple-espresso" stops kept me awake--and alert. One store they overcharged me $2 for the three shots of caffeine...it's usually a buck a shot. The manager simply stated that, even though the sign had the "old" price, their computers were set with the right price...3 shots, $5.

Understand that--for me--this was NO BIG DEAL: no excitement, no resentments, etc. However, the girl who made the drink later whispered to me, "I put in two extra shots of espresso." And she smiled so nicely...I told her (Lisanne) that I would blog her tonight.

And I briefly told her about my trip, and that she might possibly be the final act of kindness at the end of my 17-day ride. Another sweet smile. All this melodrama (--grin!) in a McDonald's store near Disney parks south of Orlando.

On nearing home, I began to wonder...what had I expected from this trip as I began 17 days ago? And was that what happened? How was it different?

Rather than write a book here, I'll just assure ALL you peeps, that God is never outdone by my imagination. The whirlwind experiences of the past two weeks-plus will take me a few days to sort. But I know already, they FAR EXCEEDED any dreamy reasoning I might have started with. As you know, I truly believe God was out there with me and friends (in-and-out-of-recovery) in a special way. Thank You, God!

AFTER THOUGHTS

I used to wonder how it felt for a military guy to come home after three years away. All those memories--how he felt as he had gone away 3 yrs before. Now, walking up to door saying, "Hi Mom...I'm home!"

Now I have an inkling of how it might be...away only 17 days and nights, thoughts about what I had earlier planned--what happened to all those plans--I walk up to the door, and say, "Hi Prayer Girl. I'm home!"

Right back into reality! (But it was NOT a dream, after all! It WAS reality!)

Let's be clean, sober...maybe even happy(?) today--all together!
Peace to you, Peeps.
Steve