LOVE 'N STUFF

STEVE E THINKING
(I know that is unhealthy)

Just some Saturday night thoughts--no story tonight. I'm in a reflective mode. Cannot say more, because 'Big Brother'--actually, 'Little brother' is watching...

First a short one:

A woman at a bank asked the cashier to cash a check for her.

Citing company policy, the cashier asked for her identification.

The woman gasped. Finally she managed to stutter, "But, but Jonathan, I'm your mother!"

While I might think this is funny, how is it then, I fail to recognize God? God, Who is "Always and Forever" Everywhere? God, Who's very Nature IS Love?

Love is everywhere. Once I have found it...never let it go. I need not seek it, nor discover it, just recognize it. Louis Armstrong sings:

"I see friends shakin' hands
Sayin' "How d'ya do?"
They's just sayin'
"I....Love.....You".

---"What a Wonderful World"

SPECIAL:
And if anyone is in a praying mode today (hopefully, every day?) please pray for PG and Steve E, and for other bloggers who are being challenged these days, and for Mary Christine's safe return home Sunday to those foothills somewhere in the Rockies.

TIP:
Join TSR (The Second Road) sometime today--it's easy. Then come back at 8 PM and join the chat. I'm tellin' ya, if I can do it...ANYONE ( or their dog or cat) can do it! And it IS fun, we'll be there as well as a few other regular bloggers, who shall remain unnamed for the sake of animosity...Say wha?

TRIVIA

"It is a shame that ATHLETICS have become professionalized." Some may agree with Socrates, who said that 2,328 years ago, "somewhere in the foothills of Greece's Pindus Mountain Range".

And yes, you blogger peeps!
Peace to you all, I love you all.
Steve E

Fourth Quarter

FOURTH QUARTER KICK-OFF

FOURTH QUARTER--DON'T GIVE UP

Even in grade school--although I was shunned as a baseball player--I had an edge on playing football. I could lob a pass whole bunches of yards, with fair accuracy. I could fire a short-yardage pass for a quick few yards, or a score. I loved it, (the girls loved it, too!), and, at age of 12, I felt good for the first time since age 5--before I had entered that horrible slice of time called "school".

The guys found out I could throw a football pretty good, and connect to a player at a designated spot, but then came the problem. Fearing injury to my "musician" hands, my parents would not sign for me to play football in high school. Those dreams of being finally accepted by my peers melted into nothingness. High school head coach personally approached to ask me to work out with the team. When I told him I played a violin, he called me a "Sissy", referring to the lowest form of life on earth (if you're a young man, age 14).

So after that, and for 60 years more, life happened. And my life is now in the fourth quarter. The game has not ended, there are passes ahead, yards to gain, downs to play. Every football game is decided in the fourth quarter.

Finishing the game is a matter of heart as much as talent because everybody is spent and this is where desire has to come to the front. You learn a lot about a player and a team in the fourth quarter. Also about life, what is needed to keep the engine purring, until it sputters and dies.

I am learning a lot about myself in the final quarter. There are still blue highways to ride, mountains to climb, sunsets to silhouette, colorful sunrises and flowers to admire, birds and animals to speak with, and peeps to meet and greet.

My very life I owe to Alcoholics Anonymous. I'd so like the time and energy to devote the first part of this fourth quarter to attending meetings up the east coast and into the midwest of U.S., God willing. To this end I am considering a solo trip--exciting to me--of 1000 to 5000 miles, riding my Suzuki scooter.

NOTE: I wrote "CONSIDERING!" OK? But each day I grow more in the belief this can happen. All doctor, dental visits are due within next ten days. And I now have a genuine U.S. passport--which will get me in and out of the state of Georgia -grin!

YA NEVER KNOW!

Prayers for me now, please. I need them. Thank you.
Peace.
Steve E

TRIVIA

Q. Isn't the Cape of Good Hope the southernmost tip of Africa?

A. Nope. Cape Agulhas, 90 miles away, is 32 miles farther south.

Source: L. M. Boyd's "CURIOSITY SHOP"

HAPPINESS IS WITHIN

HAPPINESS IS WITHIN EACH OF US

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY 55
Friday Flash 55 is a story
written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

"HAPPINESS"

What can I do to acquire happiness?

Nothing!

Why?

You already have happiness.

Why do I not feel so happy?

Because you are busy creating unhappiness.

How do I get what is already mine?

Rid yourself of unhappiness.

How?

Discover what causes unhappiness, and look at that resolutely.

Unhappiness will then delete itself. Happiness remains!

NOTE: It's possible that writing a Flash 55 once-in-a-while will
train me to write blogs of less length than my usual four pages!
The ideas expressed here were obtained from Anthony De Mello,
"The Way To Love"

Today, let us enjoy Peace, Sobriety, and Love for one another.

Love you, Peeps!
Steve E

TRIVIA

The sperm whale sometimes dives as deep as two miles

HUMILITY

SPECIAL NOTICE "Haunted House" Blogger Rainbow (SueAnn) asked me to inform her peeps that she is OK, and will be away from computer access for one or two weeks

MORE EASY-TO-SWALLOW HUMBLE STUFF

Wednesday was another day of humility for me. I did not go looking for it, but my Pride took a back seat right from the beginning. At a meeting this morning (about 40 people) I announced an apology for not being there Tuesday to chair the meeting as it was assigned.

And you know how many people wondered where is Steve? Not ONE single soul! Isn't that wonderful? I'm serious! You can be so well hidden in the bowels of an AA basement that you can be sick for 3 weeks before someone will offhandedly ask, "Anyone seen Steve around?" Answer: "Nope. Probably out drinkin' somewhere." (And I been here in AA in same town 35 years, peeps!)

The entire group looked at me in wonderment, as if to ask, "What's he talkin' about?" So much for my Pride, my Ego. I needed that early morning fix, believe me. It keeps the ground leveled.

There is a guy attending the early meetings, who has been away for two weeks. He is a popular sort of guy, heavy-duty service type, good sponsor type, solid AA type. he's the kind of guy I wish I had met my first day free of alcohol.

He returned couple days ago from his two weeks "up north". Tomorrow, I'm going to say to him, "I hear you're going 'up north' for two weeks. When do you plan to leave?" (Needs to learn a little humility-grin!)

Remainder of Wednesday vacillated between fun, easy-to handle stuff, to a personal issue which may take years to resolve. Maybe that is what will keep me living to the old, ripe stage of age. Pride really took a beating and humility came out the winner. I am glad. I am sober. I am free.

Maybe we all can be sober, happy and free today?

God loves you all, and I do also.
Steve E

TRIVIA

Q. Why do magicians pull rabbits out of hats? Why rabbits instead of some other animals?

A. Rabbits do not make any noise which could botch up the act.

LET'S LIGHTEN UP...

GOD, IN A MOMENT OF FRIVOLITY

SENSE OF HUMOR

"The Master" was in an expansive mood, so his disciples sought to learn from him the stages he had passed through in his quest for the divine.

"God first led me by the hand," he said, "into the Land of Action, and there I dwelt for several years.

Then he returned and led me to the Land of Sorrows; there I lived until my heart was purged of every inordinate attachment.

That is when I found myself in the Land of Love, whose burning flames consumed whatever was left in me of self.

This brought me to the Land of Silence, where the mysteries of life and death were bared before my wondering eyes."

"Was that the final stage of your quest?" they asked.

"No," the Master said. "One day God said, 'Today I shall take you to the innermost sanctuary of the Temple, to the heart of God himself.'
....And I was led to the Land of Laughter."

--Anthony De Mello, "TAKING FLIGHT", Page 126

Peace, and Love,

Steve E

TRIVIA

"Only the male Robin sings"

WE LOVE BLOGGING

FANCY THIS...

IF a girl--who never speaks to me--walked up to me and said, "Steve, my husband has his sober anniversary tomorrow morning at 7 AM meeting. Could you be there? My husband would like that very much." I would answer either, "OK."...or..."I don't come to meetings on Sunday morning."

Well, I approached a girl who has actually been unfriendly to me, who never comes to meetings on Sunday mornings, and asked her, "My wife will celebrate 24 years of sobriety Sunday morning at the 7AM meeting. Would you mind being there?"

The girl smiled, and said, "Sure, I'll be happy to come...I'll bring a card...Thanks for inviting me."

OK, Peeps, THAT'S the kind of person I'm trying to become, one who unhesitatingly puts myself behind me, and "becomes the other person" in order to please them--and God. Ya see what I've been writing about?

ANOTHER TOPIC: SOBER TEN DAYS

Met a fellow Sunday ("accidentally" sat next to him at the big 7AM gig), sober ten days. The next day--Monday--I was given the privilege to do the First Step 'lead' for the Beginner's meeting. Sat next to the same fellow--this time not accidentally -grin!

For this meeting I had prepped myself Sunday night, using a Big Book, our 12 X 12, and a few other readings, so as to better present Step One to these new peeps. And it came off real well, or rather "satisfactory". Then it became time for Eleven-Day-Old guy to share:

Well, you all know what happened. 11-day-old opened up, and "en sotto voce" (softly spoke) to the group assembled. His words inspired, his story appropriate, his observations acute, his advice succinct, he held us spellbound for ten minutes!

Hearing his "wisdom" after all my poor preparation, well, it humbled me. No, I did not say humiliated. It made me realize that some times the beginner would be a better chairperson than the long-timer, especially for a beginner's Step One discussion.

We Live. We Learn!
Thank You, God, for all of us!
I love it.
I love you!
Peace.
Steve E

TRIVIA---A THOUGHT

"Before borrowing money from a friend...decide which you need most".

MORE ON CHANGE

THIS SAYS IT ALL

"When your heart responds instinctively to other people's joys and sorrows, you will know you have lost your "self" and attained the experience of your "one-body-ness" with the human race--and love has finally arrived."

"--TAKING FLIGHT" Page 167 by Anthony De Mello

CHANGE

Things have been happening to me. Many of you personally participate in the lives of others. My guess is that most who read this are female. That might be the reason so many bloggers and their comments show great amounts of empathy for others. You "live in" the lives of your children, family, and friends. You "feel" what another is suffering. You experience true happiness when someone in your life or elsewhere, is enjoying the good times. You rejoice with some, undergo sadness with another. That is what WE are becoming or have become. People who truly care, who really try to place ourselves in the shoes of another.

I used the word "we" above, because I find myself breaking through a wall into a room where "myself" does not matter so much anymore. This is fairly new to me. Reading these blogs for a whole year has left an indelible mark on my mind, on my soul. This is all about change. During the past year I have changed more than any thousand days prior .

My perception of huge transitions taking place in me began several years ago when I volunteered to use my musical gifts in a nearby church community. I simply followed one morning, a barely audible conscience-voice, walked up to the music director and said, "Can you use a violin player?" It was the first time I actually committed to "give" of myself--outside of Alcoholics Anonymous. This slowly brought out of me a willingness to look people in the eye, to openly greet strangers everywhere and anywhere, to, well, I guess to "fear not" anything or everything. I see now that God was working in my life, and I was beginning to cooperate, in a feeble fashion of newness.

And what a wonderful time of discovery it was for me! I found that people actually liked me...just for myself! I could finally make mistakes, and nobody berated me. I began to feel as if I was something of value in God's world. Most important, I finally found God, reconciled myself with God. I recognized that I believed in God, and He in ME!

After 35 years reading page 55 in our Big Book, I finally saw and understood the words. I became aware of Who God is, and where God is. He is "us" and we are Him. He can be found in one place ONLY--deep down within us. Sometimes--not always--God speaks through you, to me. Sometimes God uses me to speak to you. I see God in me, trying to rise to the surface of my whole self, trying to breach the fortifications (against Him) which I have spent a lifetime building. And now, occasionally I "Let go, and let God" do for me what I could never have done for myself.

Little by little these changes are taking place. I now can 'allow' God to allow me to 'like' or 'not like'. He allows me to feel what you feel, care for you, help you, love you. Since God is in you, a part of you, I not only can love that part --I MUST love that in you which is God.

And that is where the greatest change has occurred, in the realm of human relations. Trial and (much) error, embarrassment, heartache, sleeplessness are chacteristics of this learning experience. And perseverance has shown me some of the highway ahead. With care, with guidance, with advice, with prayer and prudence I am walking that road now.

Within the scope of healing, It has been proven to me at least a dozen times during these last few years, how God can liquefy the human heart from a state of dislike, even hatred, to one of forgiveness and love. God's special gifts of patience and tolerance become necessary allies in these ventures.

I would enjoy writing that this is all "sit-back-and-watch-it-happen" stuff. That is not true. Willingness is the key (familiar?). Prayer is the venue. Action joins these ingredients, mixed with a total helping of God's Grace. And then I can begin to approach that "complete psychic change" necessary for long-term sobriety. Use of the word "sobriety" here means a lack of chaos--mental or physical. Sobriety now means to me peace, happiness, serenity, a feeling of usefulness, loving and being loved.

Our (my) whole attitude and outlook on life has changed" and I suppose that is my message here today. The world certainly has not changed...I have changed! God is weeding this garden, but only as it becomes ready.

TRIVIA

Mark Twain: "Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves, and how little we think of the other person."

Let us all stay sober with each other today. OK? And let's allow God to show us the way to change our attitude, our outlook, our hearts. He really wants to do that!

Love you all.
Steve E

FOR SUNDAY JULY 5

HAPPY 24th SOBER ANNIVERSARY TO

PRAYER GIRL

Sunday July 5 1985, PRAYER GIRL had her last drink of alcohol. Several distilleries closed down, laying off thousands of workers. Havoc ruled on Wall Street. President Reagan issued a proclamation that the US government will begin taking over the liquor industry, to soothe unsettled national fear and nerves. The world was in panic. Should PG drink again, all would be well, that sense of ease and comfort in the world would come at once. The globe would be no longer restless, irritable, and discontented...

24 years later, the world is still restless, irritable, and discontented.

NOTE: This will be my blog until Sunday night. Thanks blog-friends, for your understanding.

STEVE'S GRATITUDE LIST
FOR JULY 2009

That Prayer Girl is happily sober 24 years Sunday July 5, 2009

That Prayer Girl has stuck by me, loved me, through these past 18 years of that sobriety

That Prayer Girl is "PRAYER" girl

That God answers her prayers, and mine...in God's time

That God put in front of me again today a man who wanted what we have

That God allowed this person to "listen"

That I realize "being grateful" means being useful in God's world

That by being very involved in Alcoholics Anonymous is for me the best showing of "gratitude" which I can imagine of

(I'm grateful to Mary Christine for showing me it's all right (legal!) to end a sentence with a preposition even though it irritates me to do so)

That an eight-months-long misunderstanding has been reconciled

That God will, when asked, melt two cold human hearts in one fell swoop

That God does not mind if I silently and happily weep

That God does for me daily what I cannot do for myself

That I can practice "acceptance" to become more "acceptable" to you Peeps and finally to God

That I realize it is not too late to get back and work on family love and unity

For many friends in many rooms of AA

For (God loves you, too!) my friend-Peeps here on the blogroll

For those who for some reason are not yet ON my blogroll

To God for giving me Flex, my Guardian Angel

For God allowing me to SO enjoy life here on earth. I never imagined such fun really existed, outside of the movies.

For being shown that I can recognize things which I am grateful for

TRIVIA

PICASSO defined art as "a lie that let's us see the truth."

SO grateful, SO happy, SO sober today am I...and I wish the same for all the blog-peeps everywhere, and for you, my special peeps right here:

Peace, and Love,

Steve E

Trivia from L.M. Boyd's "Curiosity Shop" Page 77

PRIDE CAN KILL ME

LET GO OF OUR OLD IDEAS, THINGS, AND PEEPS

NEIL

"Some of us tried to hold onto our old ideas and the
result was nil until we let go absolutely." BB pg 58

At about 15 years sobriety I sat daily in a noon meeting. Every single day this old fellow Neil would read "How It Works" out of our Big Book. Except he did not read it. He had it memorized. He would start off with the book open, then make a big to-do about closing the book while he continued to recite the two-and-a-half pages, 58-59-60. He did make errors, but he did not know that. I did. He impressed many a newly sober person that way.

I remember thinking--judging--that Neil had an Ego problem. So did I. Pride was what defined him. So it was with me. Always when I have ever judged someone and found fault with them...it was my faults being mirrored and looking back at me from outside myself. Also I wondered how much time Neil had before he would drink again. That was NOT me!

Neil had been sober 21 years. He did get very angry one night, stormed out of the "cookie" meeting, and never came back. He lost his wife, his car, his truck, his boat, his business, his self-respect, his life. Yes, Neil died drunk. About 3 years after his meeting tirade. About 1992.

You might see why I look at Pride as my number one nemesis. You might understand why I consider Pride as my large defectiveness. I have other defects, find some each week. Pride is where a next drunk likely begins.

Soon after Neil went out drinking, we had a visitor--very young, very loud, very talkative, very alcoholic ("Thunderbird and Coolade is mah drink!") from Southern Alabama. He spoke that 'foreign language' which is heard in south Alabama, and which really quite beautifully rolls off the southern tongue. He was asked to read "How It Works" one afternoon.

Remember the word "nil". And remember the name "Neil". Here is what brought down the house, nobody could stop themselves from laughing.

The young boy quite innocently read this sentence from page 58 in our book "Alcoholics Anonymous", to sound like "Some of us tried ta hold onta are old idees and the result was NEIL 'til we let go absolutely." (And for Neil, the old ideas did not work--nor will they work for me!)

TRIVIA

Q. How many different poker hands are possible in a 52-card deck?

A. 2,598,960. If you dealt a hand every second, it would still take you more than a million years to play all the combinations.

Well, that's it, peeps, for now.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY--HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!

Peace.
Love.
From Steve E

Trivia captured from L.M. Boyd's "Curiosity Shop" page 101

ENTIRELY READY?

SIXTH STEP...MORE TO COME

MEN'S MEETING--STEP SIX

This past Monday evening, I decided to break another mold in which I had been stuck for a large part of my sobriety. I attended a "Men's Only" meeting. Over the years, sure, I have slipped (bad word!) into Men's meetings and kept hidden there for a few months. I can be as unobtrusive as a newly sober person. But I don't like all-one-gender, or "One-Purpose" Groups. So I never joined those groups.

It seems men like to cuss. So do I. But I don't save it all for a one-hour men's meeting --grin! So this past Monday I sat with 67 other men. I still "feel like" a boy, sitting with all these tired old men, no enthusiasm, no bounce...ya know what I mean? I'm really older than most of them and am being judgmental here, shame on me.

The meeting topic was Step SIX! "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character" Well, even after lo these many years, I gotta LOTTA work left, I can see. (sigh!) Will it ever end? I hope not! The more work I do here the less I'll have as carryover....many years from now???

Step Five ends with pulling our Big book down from the shelf, carefully going over the first five steps, making sure we have omitted nothing. Then we move onto Step Six. There is no vacation prescribed between Steps Five and Six. It is almost as if Bill W knew that many would stop as they finished Step Five (many DO!). And we all know what happens after that. "Well, I tried AA and it just didn't work for me, boo-hoo"....

"Were entirely ready..." Entirely is a big word here. I could not just will myself to be entirely ready, like when I AM (at all times) entirely ready to eat a HERSHEY bar. In fact, I was not "entirely" ready when I first arrived in an AA room. I never did drink again, but I did not know what 'ready' meant, much less 'entirely'. I had to forcefully 'hurt' my way into entire readiness to stay sober.

For Step six, I again had to (through certain behaviors) make myself hurt, all the way down to becoming entirely (almost? No! ENTIRELY!) ready to Let God do His job with my cooperation. God's job?..."Remove my Character Defects, Step Seven...", as I humbly have asked Him to do.

Humility, another BIG word, because I usually would have thought, "I can do that. No problem!" HA! Come again? God help me! God save me--from myself.

"God, I will be patient, and in Your time these removals, painful as they are, will take place." (My Seventh Step prayer--sometimes!)

Enough! I don't want to write a book, as I'm prone...or did you not know that?

After the meeting Monday night, it was still early enough to have a nice half-hour chat with a friend, as I stood out in the parking lot of the 24-Hr Club, by my bike, in the cool of the evening. Thank You, God, for friends, near and far!

TRIVIA

RAINDROPS won't form in perfectly unpolluted air. Without rain, no grass. Without grass. no people. We owe a lot to pollution.

On that polluted note, I send you my true unpolluted wishes for peace in your lives. Also I send you my Love, from
Steve E

Trivia taken from L.M. Boyd's "Curiosity Shop", Page 127