WHERE THERE IS SMOKE...THERE IS NOT ALWAYS FIRE

As with others, my poetry is just that-my poetry, whether worthy or not.  However, the blog post is an actual account of several mornings ago

Smoke sent animals scurrying
But I decided to stay
Someone would need help
Before the end of this day.

When I tripped and fell,
On my back I lay
I heard a crackling sound
Then saw it tumbling my way

A huge burnt-out Redwood came
Crashing like out of hell!
Somehow I rolled out of its path,
But from then, all was pell-mell.

I got up, ran, fell again.
If only some water, maybe a well?
Linger--read a little longer
Of the story I have to tell.....

WHERE THERE IS SMOKE, 
THERE IS....

 "We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us."

--One of the "Promises" listed in our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, p 84

This past Wednesday I woke up to the usual pre-dawn darkness of 5 AM to read some of the Peeps, comment a little, go to 7 AM meeting, etc.   I sat down at my "desk-computer" B.C. (before coffee!) and something seemed different.  

It was a sweet and smoky smell, like a Redwood-Charcoal fire.  Outside I smelled nothing--the natives were neither drunk nor restless, nor burning down their houses. 

OMG!  It was in my own house, this smell--which suddenly had changed from pleasant to unpleasant.  I stopped to ask God, "What next?" Don't know if He answered or not, but I decided to first locate the source, next, call the Fire Department (Caps on purpose), and awaken PG and her daughter.  

I knew there might be little time, so during these side-by-side moments, I was making a mental list of what to grab on the way out, on our hurried way to safety.

Each would make their own decision here, for me it was "computer, medicine,violin, and a pair of shoes".  As I discovered no fire in the house, I hurriedly erected a ladder to check out the attic. All this took less thank a minute of time. Attic provided no evidence.  Nothing!

At once a senior moment happened--I decided to "step back" and have a cup of coffee.  What?  What now?  

Only a few days before, we had bought this exotic coffee (not espresso--grin!), really sweet in flavor, and, well, special.  It was SO special it smelled like a house afire to me!!!  (A tiny bit had spilled onto the hot plate.)

So my false-alarm "fire" was the product of a crushed and cooked bean from South America!   Thank God. 

The "magic" of this episodic quarter-hour, the miracle here, was that I did not panic, nor even stressed, nor rushed.  I  just took one step at a time, to "get it right" the first time, or there would BE no time. 

Being without panic, in a do-or-die situation is not my "normal" but merely what I work to achieve, and it seems to BE working.

And so, I'll stay sober today again.
I'll be at peace today--again.
I'll harbor NO resentments--again today.
And I will show someone LOVE today--again!

Picture:  DEVIANT ART: House_Fire_by_alyssahsadie.jpg

TRIED IT--AND LIVED!

I just assumed EVERYONE considered suicide for one reason or another. And I figured most people tried it now and then. Also I just knew those who lived after were not at all serious about it. 

Well, I was wrong on all three counts. And I have not thought about it for maybe eight months or so, but a blog yesterday triggered the memories...ya gotta know how that is!

 Yesterday I found myself enjoying once more "Secretia's"  blog, in which she invites readers to contribute answers to her question-of-the-day.  Sounds kinda like "Trivial trivia" (and it is) but usually great fun for some--me included. Yesterday's question was proposed in this manner:

"Sometimes the hurting gets so
Strong that we wish we were gone.
That's when we pray for
Much happier days...
  Were you ever so sad  that you wanted
  to end your life?
   you CAN be anonymous...   
Posted by Secretia Tuesday Dec 8 at 5:11 AM
39 comments Links to this post"

And I did have a comment to make but decided to post it here instead, because it was definitely a low point in the drunken, chaotic, helpless, "powerless" stage of my life at age 26, in 1958.  And I tell you that from there until 1974, the state, the condition of my life went no way but DOWN. So this is what I wrote at that time (I had already died, OK? --Alright, WHO said "Fine!"--grin!):

At last I have found my solitude
All now is quiet and peaceful
In this room

With Endless futility have I sought  
Serenity--absent ever since I lived
In the womb

At last happiness is mine since
No more must I calculate
My doom

I've considered often this moment
When I look up instead of down
At the bloom

And I SO wish to thank them
The both who laid me here
In my tomb.

--Steve E  August 3, 1958

Peeps, let us soberly, peacefully, 
LOVE all things today! OK?

Information on picture of SUICIDE can be found HERE