DO WE HAVE A CHOICE?

SOMETIMES WE MUST MAKE HARD CHOICES

NOTE: I want you all to know, this is an especially happy day for me. I got to chat with, laugh with, and enjoy for the first time, someone who seems like an old friend (well, not OLD old!)--steveroni

PRAY FOR A GIRL NAMED "N"

A girl "N", who has been trying to 'stay' sober--well, it turns out she is not really trying too hard, in my opinion. She has been 'trying' for about 22 years. I'm trying to decide what trying means, in many of these cases where someone claims to be trying to stay sober.

My own history of early sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous did not know or use the word 'trying'. It was rather a history of doing things--and don't give me this crap about "We are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS!" (I 'tried' that once and got nowhere! I even chanted: "Hmmmm!... Hmmmm!...Hmmmm"!)

If I'm not DOING anything in AA, I'm not GOING anywhere in sobriety, peace, happiness, self-fulfillment, being loving and helpful to and for others. I saw others "not doing things". They only seemed to place themselves in that revolving door...or on the downward-hurtling elevator, spiraling into an unhappy life of loneliness, sometimes into that bottomless pit of chaos, sickness, and premature death.

N says often that she wants to stay sober. She claims our famous "...all that's required is a desire to stop drinking..." as her mantra. And she desires to stop, each and every day. Well, so did I have that desire--many times each day--BEFORE I was pulled into the room of my very first meeting. My desire immediately changed to a commitment, to not drink, to come back next week, and to read the Big Book. And I became true to that promise to myself.

I did not really WANT to "not drink"--hell, I wanted to drink so badly that you could take one of the fingers off my right hand..for a quart of vodka, and that is truth! Only thing which kept me from drinking was that I might honor my commitment--"don't drink, and come back next week", they said. (I was a bartender six nights and "did AA" on my night off.)

And so the hours became days, which soon were weeks, which merged into months, which added themselves up to years, and here I am, still honoring my commitment to me, One-Day-At-A-Time! And now I go to meetings (and blogospheres) where I feel welcome, at home, respected, appreciated and supported. I hang around in AA recovery places--on or off-line--where I might be of some help to someone now and then, and where--as in the TV CHEERS--everyone knows my name. Actually, I do not really need "everyone to know my name", it just sounded cute to me to write that! -grin!

I sponsor three people right now, one 23-year long-timer (I see him at meetings), one short-timer (he calls), and one four-year guy who is in Chicago at this time. But boy!, do I have some stories about people God has sent me with whom to work...in years past. Some good blog material...

This has been so far a positively wonderful ride, and there's no reason to get off the bus now, since I finally have an idea where it is headed.

As someone reminded me on the telephone tonight, "God does not need my help, but He DOES ask my cooperation."

Please pray for N. She does not have many more shots at this thing. Thank you.

May the God within you, and the God within me, help us to share what we have with one another, in true love of the spirit.

Sincerely,
Steve E