RANTING OR HUNGRY?"WHO IS WILLING TO SPONSOR???"
One of the gifts of Alcoholics Anonymous, is the 'system' of sponsorship in place. It is voluntary for both the sponsor and the one being sponsored. That seems to work. If one does not use a sponsor and gets drunk, she/he probably was supposed to do that in order to be able to surrender, to become willing to accept a few spiritual principles.
There is a practice (in one of my home groups) where the chairperson announces to a gathering of 150-200 AA members, "Whoever is willing to be a sponsor, raise your hands, and keep them raised". I have been sponsoring men for many years. I do not need to be asked if I am "willing". I've never met someone in AA who is NOT willing.
If nobody answers the call (to raise hands), the group is asked to come on, be good AA's, etc., to the point of embarrassing those who might be qualified, but who do not believe in that process.
This "picking a sponsor out of a sea of hands in the air" takes away initiative we might be trying to transfuse to the new person: in early sobriety, she or he has but ONE choice--other than to drink, or not--which is theirs alone to make. "Who shall I ask to help me?" It has always worked well this way. Sort of like "Let God have a hand in this...please."
Long-time sober peeps might know what I'm talking about. They will also know these are only MY opinions. More-or-less "assigning" an unknown person to be a sponsor reduces even further the new person's capability to later "...make a decision." It also deletes a bit of the fun of wondering "Who" I should ask. The new person might seek advice from some who "looks and sounds OK". They will seldom be misled.
So let us PLEASE allow the new person to find their OWN first sponsor? (It worked for me!) Let them try, maybe make a bad choice, and try again, and make another poor choice, try again--and stay sober the whole time they are doing this.
I'm not used to "ranting" so I have one more rant (a better one!) for tomorrow night--tonight's is just practice!
I am grateful to be allowed to rant, to be allowed to be wrong, to be allowed to keep coming back (although I never have had to do that--yet!), to be allowed to love you all NMW, and to be allowed to stay sober NMW, thanks to you and my God!
Peace, and LOVE,
Steve E
