THE PREMISE:
Following is from our Big Book p 60
a.....b..... "c. God could and would if He were sought." In my book someone suggested I write in the margin, "NOT CAUGHT!" And I did.
LOOSELY RELATED MATERIAL:
The next two paragraphs are from The Cloud of Unknowing, by an Anonymous Monk. I had to read them slowly and with care. My nearly impenetrable thick head does not absorb readily, without some squashing. It really IS me, wanting to know the unknown, and believing that sometimes I have been favored to know, that special level of thought--"above" the average peep...OH! What BS I can dish out to myself...and you!!!!
"Our intense need to 'understand' will always be a powerful stumbling block to our attempts to reach God in simple love, and must always be overcome. For if you do not overcome this need to understand, it will undermine your quest. It will replace the darkness which you have pierced to reach God with clear images of something which, however good, however beautiful, however Godlike, is not God."
"And so I urge you, go after experience rather than knowledge. On account of pride, knowledge may often deceive you, but this gentle, loving affection will not deceive you. Knowledge tends to breed conceit, but love builds. Knowledge is full of labor, but love, full of rest."
SYD WRITES:
Syd wrote Thursday March 11 in "Outcasts" that: "I don't need to know "why"? I only know that I will pick up that abandoned outcast part of me, dust it off, give it a good hug, and treat it as gently as I possibly can."
(Note: I had already prepared this post, so Syd's remarks are presented here as addenda.)
MY PROBLEM:
Ya know, a long time ago--age 2 to age 52--I got so tired of people asking me "Why?" Why this? Why that? Why do you? Why did you? Why did you NOT? TIRED! I mean I became READY-TO-BLOW-UP-tired of the word "WHY?" when directed at me.
And so I made myself a "life-rule". Of course, being alcoholic, the rule did not apply to ME! Every friend, every girlfriend, every wife, every fellow worker, even my children (Oh God...my poor children) knew to not ask me the dreaded question...why? Don't ask me WHY? NMW! (No Matter What!)
And ya know what? People seemed to respect that--maybe they were afraid? Fear pre-sober, "violent" Steve? -grin! (Maybe they just didn't want to have ANYTHING to do with me--now THAT I can believe...--grin!)
I myself never stopped asking "Why?" If I ask you, it is OK. When you ask me, it is not!
Got to still work on that. Asking "WHY" stunts my growth (I'm 75, not nearly finished growing FGS!). WHY slowly builds a wall of distrust between me and YOU. WHY constructs a wall between me and God. "WHY" still drives me NUTS! Why, Why, Why???
Why am I writing this? Because just MAYBE it will help someone else who has the same F'ing problem--and like me, will stop and look at their own stupid, single, three-letter word...W.H.Y???
Join me if you wish:
Sober, Happy, At Peace...today
And love someone...today!
