MY ALCOHOLIC PROFILE

Since becoming a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have some favorite SIX-WORD quotes, many more than are listed here.  These are from our "Big Book" with corresponding page numbers.  They sort of represent my own path in sobriety, with the exception of a few deviant deviations:

steveroni's FAVORITE AA QUOTES

"...men and women who have recovered..." (xiii)
" ...hopeless state of mind and body." (xiii)

"When I discovered alcohol, everything changed" (320)

"...will control and enjoy his drinking..." (30)
"...great obsession of every abnormal drinker." (30)
"...persistence of this illusion is astonishing." (30)

"...alcoholics of our type are in  (30)
the grip of a progressive illness." (30)

"...could not manage our own lives." (60)

"But we aren't a glum lot." (132)

"We absolutely insist on enjoying life." (132)

"We stood at the turning point." (59)

"...willing to grow along spiritual lines" (60

"God, I offer myself to You..." (63)

"Here are the steps we took..." (59)
"...suggested as a program of recovery." (59)

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve..." (59)

"...I found I had come home..." (206)

Do YOU have a favorite Big-Book Six-word quote?

AA AND UHHH--RELIGION???

There is a 'saying' I have heard often that, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Today, I am the student.

This morning at 7 AM meeting i noticed a very young 'new' girl reading writing notes in , and underlining portions of lines in her Big Book. Later, I wondered why she had not 'listened' instead of 'multi-tasked' during the meeting. She showed me the page she was working. It was in the Appendix page 572, titled "THE RELIGIOUS VIEW ON A.A."

Funny thing (not!)--I have read the Big Book many times (hundreds?), and must have seen that page, but it was like brand new to me this morning. And a girl, age 20, sober 60 days, is 'teaching' me about AA and religion. It became evident that she loves many of the things I have loved for years, the Latin mass, chanting of monks (or anyone), golden statues of the Twelve Apostles adorning the facade of Ave Maria's huge cathedral-like Oratory.

And already at such a young 'sober' age, she is loving AA as I do, maybe with even more fervor, due to youthful enthusiasm.

My 'New View' of the last pages of the Big Book is my blog topic tonight, as copied from our BB. I read this carefully this morning, and again later today. I think, how much more it means to me now--than if I had read it 30 years ago, or 30 DAYS ago. I share this with you now:

"THE RELIGIOUS VIEW ON A.A."

Clergymen of practically every denomination have given A.A. their blessing.

Edward Dowling, S.J.,* of the Queen’s Work staff, says, “Alcoholics Anonymous is natural; it is natural at the point where nature comes closest to the supernatural, namely in humiliations and in consequent humility. There is something spiritual about an art museum or a symphony, and the Catholic Church approves of our use of them. There is something spiritual about A.A. too, and Catholic participation in it almost invariably results in poor Catholics becoming better Catholics.”

The Episcopal magazine, The Living Church, observes editorially: "...The A.A. plan is described by the members themselves as ‘self-insurance.’ This self-insurance has resulted in the restoration of physical, mental and spiritual health and self-respect to hundreds of men and women who would be hopelessly down and out without its unique but effective therapy.”

* Father Ed, an early and wonderful friend of A.A., died in the spring of 1960.

Steve's note: Fr Ed Dowling was Bill W's spiritual advisor for many years.

See ya all tomorrow, as we stay sober with one another's help!

PEACE.
LOVE.
from Steve

There is still hope for all of us and me, too!

ABOUT ME--AGAIN?

MIGRAINE HEADACHE

The above photo has nothing to do with the following blog entry. I am just glad I do not suffer with migraine headaches. I pray for those who do. "Please alleviate their pain, Dear God." -Steve E.

THIS IS ABOUT ME!

"And I remembered the creeping horror of the interminable night, in which I slept for short spells and woke dripping with cold sweat and shaken with utter despair, to drink hastily from my bottle, and mercifully pass out again. "You're mad, you're mad, you're mad!" pounded through my brain with each returning ray of consciousness, and I drowned the refrain with drink."

Some years ago I discovered this passage from the story "Women Suffer Too" in our Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous". The story begins on page 200 (Fourth Edition). This excerpt, which I captured as my own--because it WAS me!--is on page 202.

Whenever I'm the designated "speaker" at an AA meeting, I begin with those two sentences...and I read them oh, so slowly, because every comma, every word, so important, is just ME--through and through. And I can recall the feeling, relive the moments, hours, days of the several, final--190-proof--booze-soaked years that all my nights, and some days, had then become. It all boiled right down--for me--to this: LIFE...or DEATH!

My wish is to let you all know exactly from where I came--this blubbering idiot (me)--so that when I show you where and how I entered into a life of sobriety, that beautiful dawn, that light of a new day, you will know. Yes, you will believe and know of God's Power, God's Love, and God's Way of Life. You will know because I told you so, and I was there...

My prayer is that I may do His will always. That is all I ask for me.

I'm filled with gratitude, love, and wishes that we all enjoy another sober day...Monday!

In love and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

COUPLE PROMISES OF AA

PROMISES

FEAR and BAFFLING INTUITION

Pages 83 and 84 in our Big Book "Alcoholics Anonymous" lists some promises (below) which come true in the lives of many of us who work this Program of Twelve steps:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

At first reading many moons ago, I did not understand anything, much less how anybody in the world could live a day (or an hour -grin!) without getting hammered. There was NO WAY these so-called "promises" would ever or could ever one day apply to me.

Two stood above the others in utter unbelievable nonsense:

1. "Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us."

So fearful and paranoiac was I, toward the end of my drinking career, my eyes always faced down. I was continuously filled with guilt and shame. Low, low self esteem was my trademark. And I never had money left for the children's needs, or so I figured. But I managed my--maintenance--Quart-a-day habit quite well.

Now, it has finally become an unthinking habit of mine, to look at everyone I meet, eyeball-to-eyeball. It amazes me how much can be learned just by gazing into another's eyes.

For in another's eyes
Where it is--truth lies! --steveroni

2. "We will intuitively know how to handle things which used to baffle us."

This has plagued me since I was age two or thereabouts. And it continues to act as my nemesis. I never, ever had that common sense--which I've noticed abundant in others--to make a 'right' decision, about anything--anything. This 'learning disorder' preempted my learning from mistakes.
As an active (drinking) alcoholic, this malady worsened over years....and then I got sober!

Sober now, I find that most alcoholics of my type "intuitively' know how to lie, cheat, steal, drink, and not much else--intuitively, that is. My intuition gene has been forever disabled. I have, from my early AA days, translated this (#2) to read: "I will intuitively be baffled by things which I used to know." Of course, this is true--when I was drinking, I knew everything about everything. Sober now, "We realize we know only a little." (BB Page 164, line 11)

Although I may yet find things "baffling", at least no more am I "babbling" -grin!

In real LOVE and service,
Sincerely,
Steve E.

AA-FOUR STEPS?

FOUR STEPS???

"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.

Admit your faults to Him and to others.

Clear away the wreckage of your past.

Give freely of what you find and join us."

--Alcoholics Anonymous, p 164, last paragraph, 1st four sentences


These four sentences--simply and succinctly--entrust to me all I must know, in order to stay sober and live sober. My beautiful Twelve Steps have been given to me here in a version I can memorize, internalize, live with, and work with.

When I find someone troubled by the word or action of meditating, I feed them this group of principles, to think about, to get to know, to love.

I listen in disbelief when someone new in the program reads the Big Book, and says in all seriousness--and in truth!--"I read that chapter and really like it. I could identify with what Bill Wilson was trying to say there."

And I look at the new man--or woman--and remember silently to myself the many times I read the Big Book in my earlier daze. There were no letters or words in my book. Just hundreds of pages of fly shit. (My mother used to call them fly specks, but we knew what she meant -grin!)

But as time and coffee healed me physically, my eyes began to see better, and my brain......well--uh, hmmmm--how should I say this? My brain was not too well meshed right from the start. Let's face it, 1933 was NOT a good year for me--I was born! Things went downhill from there.

But, I digress!

The year 1974 WAS a good year for me, but I was unaware of that fact. Things began to slowly drift uphill. Alcoholics Anonymous was the reason. And after about a year, I could see the words on the pages, but still did not understand them. Even now, I do not understand a whole lot. But I DO know this. It works!

Of course, everyone knows that MY "primary purpose" here is to make me look good, make me sound funny, knowledgeable, and endear you to my heart. When in fact I might--when the weather and the wind are right--hear one of you say, "How did HE get here? Boy is HE a sicko. Well, they say 'some are sicker than others'. I hear he is a 'Big Book Thumper'. And he always brags about how long he's been sober, Ugh...and he just LIVES in meetings. NOBODY can be happy all the time like THAT!"

IF anyone is new here and read that paragraph, I'd better 'splain. IT WAS IN JEST! OK? Anyway, when I start 'jesting' it's time to say "Goodbye" or "good night". With the usual signature L.O.V.E. I have for you bloggers...enjoy a GREAT and SOBER weekend! Yessss!

In love and service, (no jesting there)
Sincerely.
Steve E.