BUT WILL IT FIT MEEE?

 FITTING IN

Over a long period of time, I have heard about the adjustable wrench of Alcoholics Anonymous.  It will fit any nut which walks in the door.  Well, there are several sizes within the "family" of adjustables.   When I arrived, the heavy-duty box was unlocked, and out came the tools.

I do not mean that I was unique in the "nut" department--AA long-timers were used to guys like me who knew everything about everything and minutes later knew nothing about nothing.

For so many years I was so full of pride, that it will be many, many moons before I'll be purged of that first of the "deadlies" (First Deadly Sin--Pride).  

After thousands of hours practicing this AA program of Twelve Steps, I must yet be often reminded that the world does NOT revolve around me. That it is not "all about me" and never was.  I can forget that in a nano-second of anger, resentment, fear, lust, laziness or someone else's HERSHEY BARS.

For many years also I was consumed with my own worthlessness--a reverse form of Pride, of course.  Nobody could tell me differently, though some did try.  When I became "worthless" for too long a time, a few who had cared would begin to think, "Well, maybe he IS worthless!"  THEN my real Proud self would take over, to show them a thing or two about (again!) everything.

So the task I unknowingly allowed AA Peeps to undertake was to reduce my pride to humility. I say "reduce" when actually during the move from pride to humility is a raising up of the levels of self-esteem, of confidence, of self-knowledge, really "knowing" a few things about me and you.

The procedure for this activity is, first I had to surrender, admit I am powerless when it comes to alcohol (as it turns out, other things also!). Second I have to Trust in a God Who I cannot see, who Peeps call a Higher Power--if not God, What Else?  Trust that He could do for me what I could NOT do for myself. 

Then I had to inventory my thoughts and behaviors, and discover with "adult supervision" (sponsor--grin!) where they collided with God's plan.  Next I had to make amends, apologize, and CHANGE, that "big one"!  Meditation, inventorying, and helping others completed this "de-priding".

Actually, I wrote in error the word "completed".  because completion is contained in the word "CONTINUED" in Step 10, and implied in Step 12..."Practice these principles in all our affairs".  As I stated way up at the top, perfection is never to be feared--because it ain't gonna happen.  I wrote that the purging of Pride, from which most of my defect spring forth, could take more than earthly time, but it WILL happen.  Depending on the maintenance of my spiritual condition, Pride CAN slip away...as it does now and then.

Bottom line, for us alcoholics is "Do not drink, No Matter What", and with that, staying sober and helping others, one day at a time.  These--put together--bring me a large amount of happiness during whatever strife I find in life.  Especially know this:  BEING SOBER allows me to see the Goddess or God IN EACH of you Peeps, whether or not we agree on certain issues.  Know what I mean, Jelly Bean?

I realize this was a serious post today, but you should know that for me, this is NOT all fun-and-games.

LOVE, Peeps,
SOBER, Peeps
FREEDOM FROM BONDAGE, Peeps
PEACE, Peeps.

AA-FOUR STEPS?

FOUR STEPS???

"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.

Admit your faults to Him and to others.

Clear away the wreckage of your past.

Give freely of what you find and join us."

--Alcoholics Anonymous, p 164, last paragraph, 1st four sentences


These four sentences--simply and succinctly--entrust to me all I must know, in order to stay sober and live sober. My beautiful Twelve Steps have been given to me here in a version I can memorize, internalize, live with, and work with.

When I find someone troubled by the word or action of meditating, I feed them this group of principles, to think about, to get to know, to love.

I listen in disbelief when someone new in the program reads the Big Book, and says in all seriousness--and in truth!--"I read that chapter and really like it. I could identify with what Bill Wilson was trying to say there."

And I look at the new man--or woman--and remember silently to myself the many times I read the Big Book in my earlier daze. There were no letters or words in my book. Just hundreds of pages of fly shit. (My mother used to call them fly specks, but we knew what she meant -grin!)

But as time and coffee healed me physically, my eyes began to see better, and my brain......well--uh, hmmmm--how should I say this? My brain was not too well meshed right from the start. Let's face it, 1933 was NOT a good year for me--I was born! Things went downhill from there.

But, I digress!

The year 1974 WAS a good year for me, but I was unaware of that fact. Things began to slowly drift uphill. Alcoholics Anonymous was the reason. And after about a year, I could see the words on the pages, but still did not understand them. Even now, I do not understand a whole lot. But I DO know this. It works!

Of course, everyone knows that MY "primary purpose" here is to make me look good, make me sound funny, knowledgeable, and endear you to my heart. When in fact I might--when the weather and the wind are right--hear one of you say, "How did HE get here? Boy is HE a sicko. Well, they say 'some are sicker than others'. I hear he is a 'Big Book Thumper'. And he always brags about how long he's been sober, Ugh...and he just LIVES in meetings. NOBODY can be happy all the time like THAT!"

IF anyone is new here and read that paragraph, I'd better 'splain. IT WAS IN JEST! OK? Anyway, when I start 'jesting' it's time to say "Goodbye" or "good night". With the usual signature L.O.V.E. I have for you bloggers...enjoy a GREAT and SOBER weekend! Yessss!

In love and service, (no jesting there)
Sincerely.
Steve E.