FITTING IN
Over a long period of time, I have heard about the adjustable wrench of Alcoholics Anonymous. It will fit any nut which walks in the door. Well, there are several sizes within the "family" of adjustables. When I arrived, the heavy-duty box was unlocked, and out came the tools.
I do not mean that I was unique in the "nut" department--AA long-timers were used to guys like me who knew everything about everything and minutes later knew nothing about nothing.
For so many years I was so full of pride, that it will be many, many moons before I'll be purged of that first of the "deadlies" (First Deadly Sin--Pride).
After thousands of hours practicing this AA program of Twelve Steps, I must yet be often reminded that the world does NOT revolve around me. That it is not "all about me" and never was. I can forget that in a nano-second of anger, resentment, fear, lust, laziness or someone else's HERSHEY BARS.
For many years also I was consumed with my own worthlessness--a reverse form of Pride, of course. Nobody could tell me differently, though some did try. When I became "worthless" for too long a time, a few who had cared would begin to think, "Well, maybe he IS worthless!" THEN my real Proud self would take over, to show them a thing or two about (again!) everything.
So the task I unknowingly allowed AA Peeps to undertake was to reduce my pride to humility. I say "reduce" when actually during the move from pride to humility is a raising up of the levels of self-esteem, of confidence, of self-knowledge, really "knowing" a few things about me and you.
The procedure for this activity is, first I had to surrender, admit I am powerless when it comes to alcohol (as it turns out, other things also!). Second I have to Trust in a God Who I cannot see, who Peeps call a Higher Power--if not God, What Else? Trust that He could do for me what I could NOT do for myself.
Then I had to inventory my thoughts and behaviors, and discover with "adult supervision" (sponsor--grin!) where they collided with God's plan. Next I had to make amends, apologize, and CHANGE, that "big one"! Meditation, inventorying, and helping others completed this "de-priding".
Actually, I wrote in error the word "completed". because completion is contained in the word "CONTINUED" in Step 10, and implied in Step 12..."Practice these principles in all our affairs". As I stated way up at the top, perfection is never to be feared--because it ain't gonna happen. I wrote that the purging of Pride, from which most of my defect spring forth, could take more than earthly time, but it WILL happen. Depending on the maintenance of my spiritual condition, Pride CAN slip away...as it does now and then.
Bottom line, for us alcoholics is "Do not drink, No Matter What", and with that, staying sober and helping others, one day at a time. These--put together--bring me a large amount of happiness during whatever strife I find in life. Especially know this: BEING SOBER allows me to see the Goddess or God IN EACH of you Peeps, whether or not we agree on certain issues. Know what I mean, Jelly Bean?
I realize this was a serious post today, but you should know that for me, this is NOT all fun-and-games.
LOVE, Peeps,
SOBER, Peeps
FREEDOM FROM BONDAGE, Peeps
PEACE, Peeps.
