WHERE ARE WE???

GET OFF PLANE AND
BUY NEWSPAPER

Airports are prime spots for newspaper sales. I'm always looking for some local stuff. Local tidbits, which are the same as the local tidbits in my home town. And a newspaper is handy for covering the monitor on a laptop, to cut down on glare. And the scores from baseball, basketball, football, tennis, hockey, and golf are all there. In fine print. In smallest font. From little league, to high school, to college, to semi-pro, to Professional team, all are represented.

But last night a fellow--the speaker--told us, in a voice, almost bragging (loudly) about his "unique" experience. "Ya, well, there ah was at a airport. Ah had tu buy a dammm newspaper to find out where ah wuz!". The room stayed quiet. Nobody laughed.

Because almost everyone had been in that place, done that thing, with the same excuse--we had blacked out before buying a ticket to somewhere.

It reminded me of the days I toured as a member of a symphony orchestra. We played a different town every night for six weeks each winter. We went everywhere, traveling the county's twin-railed highways on sleeper cars called Pullman's. About twenty of us (half the violin section) walked around each new town in the early morning--10 AM--trying to "guess which city we were in".

No fair looking at the Passenger Terminal signs! No fair asking the locals! Once on a frightfully cold windy, snowy day, the consensual guess was a tossup between Fairbanks Alaska, or Denver Colorado. (It was Denver.)

During those years I checked hundreds of newspapers in their stands, just to see what place we were playing that night. Also I got the weather report. Miami Beach (and Miami) were my favorite destinations. Not only were these places nicely warm, I could tell immediately where we were, by the Spanish-styled architecture.

How in the world many of us could get our arms and legs and fingers working by evening time (because of the cold, of course!) in order to come together in a decent performance of major symphonic works, I've never yet figured out. Because man, some of us were so stinking drunk, it was all we could do to sit in our chairs without falling on the floor. Night after night.

I keep saying "we" and "ours", but ya know--maybe it was just ME! Just maybe. Go figure.

And oh, the newspaper--yessss--the next morning, would have a story on the last page, 4-C about how the "....symphony orchestra last night played as with velvet fingers softly stroking petals of tulips, as the lilting melody of the Second Movement peeked through the curtains of the introductory chords."

I could have puked in the critic's lap as she was writing that drivel.

My next move was to a job where I could be always surrounded with a group of about 95 of my closest friends. They had names like "Gordons", "Beefeater", "Early Times", "Bond and Lillard" (fondly called by the intelligentsia, B and L , "Smirnoff", "Justerini and Brooks" (J and B), "Cutty Sark"...you get the idea?

So my drinking and I progressed downward rapidly to Rapid Eye Convulsions, Comatose Electra, Blind Stupor, Imbecilic, and just plain "helpless drunk".

About 12 years later I ran into something I thought was a ladder. I was told it had 12 Steps, all UP. And though I'm afraid of height (except in an airplane --grin!) I took the climb, and I am still here "Come Hell Or High Water".

I have not had a drink since the night BEFORE my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Today I do a lot of things around AA, but one thing is above all others in importance: I do not drink today NMW, "No Matter What". And I pray that you do not, also!

And Peeps, I love you all.
Peace.
Steve

Don't Shoot! I am ME!

My Past Perception of Inter-Group in Naples

TSR

Wow! was that ever F.U.N. I was "host" for an hour (Sunday 8-9 PM) of chat with the topic "My Turning Point" on TSR "The Second Road". I realize now what it means to be "host". It merely means there will be at least one person residing--not presiding!--on line the whole hour --grin..(just kidding, A Miles!). It was a truly great experience, I certainly wish to thank A Miles and Jinx for inviting me

Wha'da'ya Know: INTER-GROUP IS "US"

Alcoholics Anonymous remains for me the only complete program for recovery for alcoholics of my type. At it's deepest, most devout, fervent level, AA remains for me the many-million-times, tried-and-true, one-on-one unselfish caring, sharing, helping, loving (please do not misinterpret this word "love") staying sober together and growing together.

Without this program, and my practice of the Twelve Steps, I will die. I know that. I have been there. It has been a long time, but I see people every day who remind me, even though they speak not a word. I see it in their eyes, and I either talk with them, or pray for them, or both.

For a long time--several years, in fact, there was enmity between Intergroup and the AA groups around town. This was brought on by, and a result of, some misadventure, or at least seeming misbehavior (which is just as bad) within the local AA community. So I, who had been raised in AA before we had local Intergroup, was predisposed to thinking Inter-group quite unnecessarily formed, that its purpose was simply to squander money from the groups.

A month ago I attended my first Intergroup meeting, wanting to see for myself what all the fuss was about. To my amazement, there was no fuss. There were no knock-down arguments.

I went back to my "cookie meeting" group to report (with a mouthful of Polly's chocolate chip cookies!) that--wonder of wonders...INTER-GROUP IS US! This group of good, sober peeps volunteer to keep AA business as usual moving in the Naples surroundings. These people are there/here to help the groups, in any way--the best way that they know how.

So it is not "they" and "them" but it IS "US". All us! Who would of thunk? Now that I know that, my next stop (after SC, NC, Virginia, GA, and WEST VA) is District (GSR). My group figured one meeting at Inter-Group was enough, and while I was still filled with AA "service" enthusiasm, they elected me GSR (Group Service Representative). First meeting for me will be in September. You will read about it here, I guarantee.

I could go on about other "things" but this is not a day to rant, maybe that day will never arrive--I hope not.

One thing though, our Inter-Group throws a lousy Beach Party--NO COFFEE! Ooops, that was yesterday's blog....

Meanwhile, that we all stay sober today, that's all I'm asking.

In Love and Service.
Steve

I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ONE

You're mine! You're mine! All mine!

ADDENDUM: Go here to find out what I am doing tonight at 8 PM.
Now click these blue-colored words: The Second Road --It is an online community where people can communicate, interact, learn, and live while facing addiction.
Hope to see some of--well, ALL of youse guys there, 8-9 PM Eastern.

ADDICTION UNCOVERED

It was a beautiful day at an AA Intergroup Beach Picnic one week ago. Because of regular afternoon showers we drove the car
instead of riding scooters to this affair. Of course with a car, parking was a half mile from the event, located in Wiggins Pass State Park, a really nice, miles-long beach park in SW Florida.

After arrival and lugging all our paraphernalia (my gosh!) I was already tired. So I went to get a coffee. It was about 12 noon. The volunteer told me, "We do not serve coffee at these functions". She said it, like "We do not serve alcohol at these functions". And...she did not bat an eyelash. I thought she was certainly joking. "You are joking, right?" No joke, Steve, there WAS no coffee.

Now, for a long time, I had been LIVING on coffee--not Dee-calf. COFFEE! Maybe a gallon a day. Too much? Who knew? It had become my very lifeblood.

I started feeling jumpy. I perspired. I became immediately nervous. I was actually, really, truly "Restless, Irritable, and Discontent". I began making a real scene, my first in many years. I was, like, well, a drunk without his morning bottle of vodka. I was transported back in time. Way back. I'm not gonna say how far back, because it could be taken the wrong way.

Peeps, I was in serious pain. I ached inside and out. My hands shook. I do not drink water, Gatorade, 7-Up, tea. Colas make me burp or hiccup. I had already been up early, been to meetings, everything was fine about the day...except...no coffee, at an AA beach function, with guest speaker, and a meeting.

What does one do? Well, i became part of the solution, rather than a continuing part of the problem. I nervously walked the half-mile to our car.

It took a full hour, walking, traffic, etc., but I made it to a Starbucks, came back with four huge coffees (three for me!). At Starbucks I had a big one while waiting for the rest of the order. I must tell you--I hate this--with my first sip of the soothing hot, nearly-black liquid, I again experienced that sense of ease and comfort which came at once by taking a drink of...coffee!

This is not a funny thing. I found out how much of a craving I had developed. And do you know, I had no idea it was that bad. I did not realize I was hooked on a drug all these years, which affects my body and my brain. I am sitting here now at 2:00 AM drinking, well, you know...COFFEE! And as soon as I hit the bed, I'll be able to shut it down to sleep in several minutes.

I use coffee as a sleep aid. I shake when I do not have it. Coffee soothes my nerves. Coffee lets me live. Now you know another "bad" thing about me. How many more? Stay tuned!

Let us ALL have a sober good Sunday!

Stll loving you, Peeps!
Peace.
Steve

A TRUE STORY

MASSEUSE

A STORY

Last night we went to a benefit dinner for an AA girl whose cancer is in remission, but her medical bills are NOT. So, a group of friends are raising $100,000 to pay off her long-overdue account.

Seventy people attended this beautiful dinner, in a beautiful setting, surrounded by beautiful people. Almost all were members of Alcoholics Anonymous or Alanon. During conversation at our table, talk turned to reciting a brief anecdote relating to our present or former profession. One of the alcoholics, a spiritual older lady, began to chronicle a moment in time from her working days. Among other occupations, one of hers was as a masseuse. Now here is the way things happen in Naples, Florida. This was her story:

I was an on-call masseuse. One late afternoon the phone rang. Upon answering, I heard a voice say, "Hello, I'm Bill, and I need your services." I recognized the voice but could not place it with the name Bill, so I asked, "Are you a friend of Bill W?" He responded, "No, but I do know the President of the United States." My next words were, "I'll be right over".

Can you imagine my shock, awe, and joyous surprise, as when the door to his place opened, there stood Rev Billy Graham!

I wanted to kneel and receive a blessing from this holy man. Billy assured me he was not a saint, just another frail human being with a message. He was a client of mine on three other occasions--this man who could fill a huge parking lot with 20,000 vehicles, just by showing up. And that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

WOW! Other stories at that table held our total attention as well. What a great evening everyone shared last night. I am continually reminded of the immensity of this gift, God's Gift, Alcoholics Anonymous, and what it means to me. I am in a wonderful program, which I love. I can sit at dinner in a beautiful place, with people I do not know really well. And I can be at such ease, to have this feeling that we are all in one accord. That with God's Grace through, with, and in each other, we will finally know true peace, true love. That IS the real meaning of life, is it not?

Let's stay sober today. Okay, Peeps?

Picture: MASSEUSE
by Joshua Kirby at
THE CARLETON GALLERY

FRIDAY FLASH FICTION 55

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY 55


WITHOUT A RAINY DAY I COULD
NOT KNOW THE SUN IS SHINING

Thunder is booming
and the bright'ning Lightning
It is all so exciting

Having long been kept at bay
At last, rain coming our way
Plentifully drench this day

Hear noise, feel wet
Ordered chaos--it is set
we will soon have met

God's Wonderful Power's
descent--on all His flowers
And finely, man-built towers


Friday Flash Fiction 55
is a story written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one.
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

Beautiful picture of "Let's Bring On the Rain"

from: blogs.nyu.edu

I'M GRATEFUL

WRITE OR SLEEP?


For Tonight I do not have a blog. This day, Wednesday was packed full of activity. I realize it is difficult to believe that a retired guy "just doesn't have time to blog...but it is either "Blog" or "Sleep".

Oh, well, there's always tomorrow for sleep! Tonight is for Gratitude:

I am SO grateful:

That I got to be at an AA meeting with Prayer girl, her daughter, daughter's sponsor, and daughter's boy friend.

That meeting just "happened to be" on Step 1--Okay, God, You are still "doing it"

Boy friend knew nothing about AA, but got an earful of "Really good shit".

That we had a special "happy meal" at Longhorn's--GooooD!

Did not work in sun today.

I am now able to say, "The work will still be there tomorrow and Friday".

That I am being "allowed" to go on a solo bike trip August 22.

That I am surrounded with people who do love me, no fake stuff.

That I can love them, no fake stuff.

That early enough I'm finding out who is a true friend and who is not.

That I realize it is possible to love both, pray for both.

That I have hope for reconciliations between all those who have enmities between them--for whatever reasons.

That I am able to get to many meetings, which I LOVE.

That I am still teachable.

That young people all around me are getting sober.

That some are STAYING sober!

That I now know the secret of why I kneel every morning--FIRST thing!

That I do not have to recite a litany backwards (--grin!), in order to pray.

That I can meditate on these things and others, while going to sleep--in my own cool bed...in minutes.

Thank you ALL who might read this, and please know that I wish for you all:

Peace.
A sober day.
And love in your hearts.

Steve

SICK AND MORE SICK!

THERE'S SICK....AND THERE'S SICK!!! Since it is now a thing of the past, I will tell you a short story--naturally, all about...ME! The following will let you know something about me, which I have always known. I am a dumb Jackass.

Our temperature yesterday was about 95 deg, and a hot and sunny day it was, so I decided to get rid of a few unwanted, non-native trees out back. Why could I not have waited until a nice 75-degree morning to do the work which has been wanting forever?

To shorten this, I'll just tell you I got heat exhaustion, which I've never experienced before. Last night I had fever almost 102, "body all achin' and racked with pain"--real debilitating pain, could not walk. And the chills, just shakin' and bakin'. It was all I could do to get out a blog --grin!!!

This morning, after 10 hour sleep, the same, still the fever, and fell down twice on my way to the computer. (Through sleet and snow, and rain, etc.) I just could not walk. No, I was NOT drunk, youse guys! But for me it sure did recall those days, when after drinking a gallon of White Port, I just could not stand up...

4 more hours sleep, and suddenly I'm OK. What a blessing, to be OK! Physically and mentally...well, at least physically? Here is Tuesday afternoon, and I'm going to a meeting. Seems like it's been a week--yet, I attended a meeting only last night!

So, I do not get "sick" any more...but I'll sure steer clear of "heat exhaustion" from now on, drink water, water, water, they tell me...NOW! Because that is as close to sick as I want to come.

I was so happy last night. I thought I was dying, and so I was calmly talking to Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. Then I remembered, something about my grade school days. If we did a certain Novena once a month, we would be guaranteed that Jesus, Mary, and Joseph would be with us at the moment of death. Utter peace and happiness covered me like a blanket, and all seemed well. One day later...all IS well, as it always has been, and will be, forever.

I LOVE you blogger peeps.
I wish the Peace I experience is yours also.
Steve

ADDENDA: Tuesday 5:30 PM meeting had about 60 members. But listen...we had four there for the first time ever! And two more "returning". (None of them blood-related: see yesterday's blog -grin!) Isn't it a blessing? To be present at the beginning of that journey for four+two people is exciting to me. And sharing, then talking after, something may have clicked! Ya never know! Only God knows.

The Turning Point?

WHERE YA GOIN'? CAN I GO TOO?

At the risk(?) of a seeming "blog copycat" there is no way today that I can NOT tell you my experience.

Oh, the thrill when Daughter asks, "Where ya goin'?"
To which my answer is "To an AA meeting"...
And Daughter (age 27) asks, "Can I go, too?"
It is the maker of goosbumps--for me.

We have been to meetings together this past week. What a joy to see this new spirituality growing right before my eyes! God is so kind, merciful. He has graced Daughter with a wonderful sponsor, and some terrific new friends. And she uses the telephone--(I never did learn how. Never!) And I am now able, allowed, to observe God's LOVE, melting even the hardest of hearts--here, there, and everywhere.

Numerous miracles have occurred during these two weeks, many of them you could call minor. Piled one on top the other, taken all together, there is unmistakable evidence of God's Guiding Hand in this whole scenario of helping another to the room, to surrender.

You want to know Gratitude? See this stepfather's smile, as he rides to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous with his "Daughter", sober nearly two weeks. God gives us the Gift. All which is left for us, is to accept it, and say "Thank You"....that's whether "we" are a daughter--or a father. And for God to bless both at once...Who could EVER produce more serenity, more forgiveness, more peace, more love, than Him Who set all things into first motion?

Maybe I'll just let things happen, stop trying to "make" them happen. How's THAT for change? Of course, you do not know me--yet, you really do. I am an alcoholic. My name is Steve.

And you ALL have my prayer to stay sober today. I will!

Also my prayer for your peace.
Also, my prayer of LOVE.
Steve

AA AND UHHH--RELIGION???

There is a 'saying' I have heard often that, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Today, I am the student.

This morning at 7 AM meeting i noticed a very young 'new' girl reading writing notes in , and underlining portions of lines in her Big Book. Later, I wondered why she had not 'listened' instead of 'multi-tasked' during the meeting. She showed me the page she was working. It was in the Appendix page 572, titled "THE RELIGIOUS VIEW ON A.A."

Funny thing (not!)--I have read the Big Book many times (hundreds?), and must have seen that page, but it was like brand new to me this morning. And a girl, age 20, sober 60 days, is 'teaching' me about AA and religion. It became evident that she loves many of the things I have loved for years, the Latin mass, chanting of monks (or anyone), golden statues of the Twelve Apostles adorning the facade of Ave Maria's huge cathedral-like Oratory.

And already at such a young 'sober' age, she is loving AA as I do, maybe with even more fervor, due to youthful enthusiasm.

My 'New View' of the last pages of the Big Book is my blog topic tonight, as copied from our BB. I read this carefully this morning, and again later today. I think, how much more it means to me now--than if I had read it 30 years ago, or 30 DAYS ago. I share this with you now:

"THE RELIGIOUS VIEW ON A.A."

Clergymen of practically every denomination have given A.A. their blessing.

Edward Dowling, S.J.,* of the Queen’s Work staff, says, “Alcoholics Anonymous is natural; it is natural at the point where nature comes closest to the supernatural, namely in humiliations and in consequent humility. There is something spiritual about an art museum or a symphony, and the Catholic Church approves of our use of them. There is something spiritual about A.A. too, and Catholic participation in it almost invariably results in poor Catholics becoming better Catholics.”

The Episcopal magazine, The Living Church, observes editorially: "...The A.A. plan is described by the members themselves as ‘self-insurance.’ This self-insurance has resulted in the restoration of physical, mental and spiritual health and self-respect to hundreds of men and women who would be hopelessly down and out without its unique but effective therapy.”

* Father Ed, an early and wonderful friend of A.A., died in the spring of 1960.

Steve's note: Fr Ed Dowling was Bill W's spiritual advisor for many years.

See ya all tomorrow, as we stay sober with one another's help!

PEACE.
LOVE.
from Steve

There is still hope for all of us and me, too!

ON BEING GRATEFUL

In a blog yesterday, my blog-friend Carol wrote an excerpt about the:

"Good news ... from Melody in Lang'ge of Letting Go . . . Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life . . . "

It became significant in my thoughts Saturday, through some VERY trying moments (hours?) of personal disturbances, so I decided to paste the whole piece from Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie, a Hazeldon book of Meditation.

"GRATITUDE unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

GRATITUDE makes things right.

GRATITUDE turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power.

We can start with who we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work its magic.

Say thank you, until you mean it. if you say it long enough, you will believe it."

This was not what I had prepared for my Sunday blog, but I hope you all like to read it. Again, if you already have read it once on Saturday, be kind to yourself, and re-read. And, do not forget--GRATITUDE is an "action" word! Bless you all!

PEACE.
LOVE.
from Steve