NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING

Photo by Heather T., Naples FL, taken at Swamp Buggy races

DROID NEWS

Couple days ago, my Verizon phone "The DROID!" asked me to download and install an update. So I did, not even realizing what I was putting into my "iPhone-clone" (almost). Don'tcha know?  Now I can dial you e.g., to send you a text message. Then I talk into the phone normally, and the voice detection sends what I spoke, to Your phone, texted.

This is awesome to me, another "thing" I can do while driving--Ooooops! ##CRRRRAAAAASHHHHH##!!!  I predict more and more Peeps in future, saying things like, "I was the last one to hear her voice before she plowed into that abutment." Oh my--I hope NOT!

Here is a list of more update enhancements I just installed

Peeps, a DROID is a GREAT Father's Day present: June?

Oh well, so much for the "material crapola" in my life, but I LOVE it, Peeps! And it all fits right in a shirt pocket!  And I have the complete Big Book (literally) under my fingertips, and the Bible also! 

After reading all that, you deserve an "AA" joke:

A group decided to hold Step Meetings from now on in the nude. So, the first meeting was held, all sixty-seven Peeps undressed (please don't spill the hot coffee on me!).  After the meeting a friend asked one of the participants how it went...

She answered, "Well, it would have been a good meeting, except we ended up "comparing" instead of "identifying"!

(I can hear the groans, all the way to Naples.  That joke is from a Grapevine Magazine.)

NOTE: Yesss, I'm still sober for today, although my post may sound a bit inebriated...see?  I could not spell that word if (hic) I was drinking--grin!

THREE BAR MICE

It is time for me to step back and laugh a minute. this joke may have come from someone's blog during the past year-and-a-half. If so I apologize. I'm calling it "THREE BAR MICE" (you know: "Three Blind mice"...oh, well!) I'll get serious again tomorrow. Hey it'll be "55" wordless "hAAlf nAAked or "revert" day, or something like that, huh?
 
Now THAT would be serious!

Three Mice at the Bar

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse downs a tumbler of Jack Daniel's, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot.

When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two glasses of Bombay Sapphire, downs them both, slams each glass into the bar.

Turns to the first mouse, and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day.

"The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.

The third mouse, bored, lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bull crap . I gotta get home and screw the cat." 
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Peeps,the really funny part of this mouse story is that I was ONE of them--for so many years. So, in gratitude, I'll stay SOBER today if you will (even if you will not!), and I'll be with you in PEACE today, and I LOVE you today. Maybe God has a plan to use me today, I'm ready!

A CLEAN SWEEP

I LOVE Sunday. (Well, I love EVERY day! That's the TRUTH!)

This morning is again AA meeting time, 7 AM.

Choir Rehearsal

Sing at 1100 mass

Visit daughter in treatment (only on Sundays).

Another AA meeting @ 1730

Meet with sponsee after meeting...hopefully.

Call a friend.

The day is over, the week is finished. Enough!  Amen!

This coming week is already scheduled as busy.  For me it is really exciting!  For years I have been wondering what surprises God has in store for me, who is there to meet?  Who might I help?  Who might help ME? I know God will use me somehow. Will He let me see that?  It does not matter,


Simply having witnessed now how it works lets me know that Great Things will be happening.
 
Alcoholics Anonymous has done that for me...given me back a life, my life, and added many years to what might well have been.


OKAY, It is time for a joke...to end this week of seriousness:

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married..

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.

'Why...we haven't even SWEPT together!'
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And Peeps, One thing I believe which always
was, is, and shall be, forever and ever is LOVE.
Sort of like an attribute of God, Hmmmmm?

It leads me to PEACE!
(Those Green Pastures by the Still Waters?)

May we all enjoy both Love and Peace...and Sobriety.
Today!

A HALLOWEEN GHOST STORY

 DO GHOSTS HAVE SEX

So much heavy stuff the past couple days in my life, I'm celebrating Saturday with a "Ghost Story"--It IS Halloween, right?  CLOCKS MOVE BACK SATURDAY NIGHT!

WARNING: JOKE AHEAD.....

GHOST SEX

A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Bubba replied, "Sheee-it!! From way back there I thought you said GOATS!"


Peeps, let's be SOBER
Peeps, I send you LOVE.
Peeps, I wish you PEACE. 
 

NOT FUNNY and FUNNY

NOT FUNNY and FUNNY

NOT FUNNY:

How well I remember--in trying to forget--the times I would say to the bartender, in my biggest of big-shot voice, "Give everybody in the house a shot of tequila." I'd laughingly brag how "I don't drink alone", etc.  What FUN! What wonderful friends. What an asshole--me.

After one such night, when I got home and tried to sneak into the house, I crawled into the living room to turn on the TV, to make it look like I'd been home a long time. Nothing happened. Our power had been shut off, and other bills were quite in arrears. There was no milk--of course, the bonus was that it would not sour, right.  I had to see SOME good from this night.

Oh well, things would look better in the morning. Oh Yeah? At my workplace--I was a bartender--new owners were just taking possession of the business, and I was greeted with a note that I had to appear for a lie detector testing before going to work that afternoon.  

If you were a bartender of MY caliber, you would NEVER settle for a testing like that...it was humiliating. Besides, it would be even more humiliating when they found out I was knocking down the house periodically for certain sums of money, and assuming my rightful guardianship of a quart of vodka every night before locking the door, and going home. And so I did the honorable thing--I QUIT!

And I still had 4 years of further spiraling downward before sobering up. During those 4 years I suffered more damage physically, mentally, morally, and emotionally than I ever knew a human could stand--and not shoot himself in the head.

Then one evening I was ushered into a room full of you peeps, and you put Humpty Dumpty together again.  I used to scoff when I heard peeps say "...I'm eternally grateful..." but ya know, now I AM "eternally" grateful.  Thank You God, and AA, and you blogger Peeps--ALL of you, get it?  Love, and PEACE to you Peeps, from Steve E

FUNNY

And this will be tonight's JOKE at the "cookie" meeting:  

How I learned to mind my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.....some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'

EITHER GOD IS, OR HE IS NOT

MY GREAT MYTH

Why did I always believe that I had "fallen from god's grace"?  For one thing, I was brought up "...to know God, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and be happy with Him forever in eternity..."

When my age had progressed to the stage where I became "the Enlightened One" (about age 12),  I just knew that business about being happy forever was so much rotting horse manure.  And that is where God and I parted ways--at least I parted.

Then one day many years hence, someone let me realize--know--that a "religious upbringing" had very little to do with a personal relationship with God.  So I could feel "a part of" the world rather than "apart from" the whole show. I now "talk" to God, as He is a person--albeit a Spirit--standing right here, not as a heavenly Being "way out there".  And we get along fine these days--SOooooo much better than in the DAZE past.

As a recovering(ed) alcoholic, I have learned to depend on a daily needed Power (to stay sober, and to grow in spirituality) which could be given to me only by a God of my understanding.


I pray that this relationship will continue to grow and mature into a way of living which allows me to carry the message of sobriety to other suffering alcoholics, to know His Will for me today, and to be endowed with the Power to carry it out.
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Why oh why do I post these stupid jokes?  Well, this one is for all those whose names begin with any letter from A to Z (OK, Zane?)

A guy spotted a nice looking girl in a bar. He went over and started with small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name.

"Carmen," she replied.

That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself, she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes.

"So what's your name?" she asked.

Nodding his head he said,  "Beersex".

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Peeps, I pray you have LOVE in your hearts today.
And PEACE to His Peeps on earth.
Sober Blessings