NOT FUNNY and FUNNY

NOT FUNNY and FUNNY

NOT FUNNY:

How well I remember--in trying to forget--the times I would say to the bartender, in my biggest of big-shot voice, "Give everybody in the house a shot of tequila." I'd laughingly brag how "I don't drink alone", etc.  What FUN! What wonderful friends. What an asshole--me.

After one such night, when I got home and tried to sneak into the house, I crawled into the living room to turn on the TV, to make it look like I'd been home a long time. Nothing happened. Our power had been shut off, and other bills were quite in arrears. There was no milk--of course, the bonus was that it would not sour, right.  I had to see SOME good from this night.

Oh well, things would look better in the morning. Oh Yeah? At my workplace--I was a bartender--new owners were just taking possession of the business, and I was greeted with a note that I had to appear for a lie detector testing before going to work that afternoon.  

If you were a bartender of MY caliber, you would NEVER settle for a testing like that...it was humiliating. Besides, it would be even more humiliating when they found out I was knocking down the house periodically for certain sums of money, and assuming my rightful guardianship of a quart of vodka every night before locking the door, and going home. And so I did the honorable thing--I QUIT!

And I still had 4 years of further spiraling downward before sobering up. During those 4 years I suffered more damage physically, mentally, morally, and emotionally than I ever knew a human could stand--and not shoot himself in the head.

Then one evening I was ushered into a room full of you peeps, and you put Humpty Dumpty together again.  I used to scoff when I heard peeps say "...I'm eternally grateful..." but ya know, now I AM "eternally" grateful.  Thank You God, and AA, and you blogger Peeps--ALL of you, get it?  Love, and PEACE to you Peeps, from Steve E

FUNNY

And this will be tonight's JOKE at the "cookie" meeting:  

How I learned to mind my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.....some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'