One of the blogs I follow daily contains
a particularly spiritual message today.
Please check Dulce out HERE
ATTACHMENTS OR REAL HAPPINESS?
WARNING: This is deep stuff-at least, for me.
Hopefully, we keep on learning, and it becomes FUN. E.g., this sentence in a message two years ago to a favorite "artist" blogger, taken out of context: "...when I read your messages, and you read mine (as now?) there is a special happiness which arises, and it is good...."
Example: I used to write something like: "It sure makes me happy when I receive a note or a call from you..." or something like that. This implies that my happiness is dependent on your writing or calling me...and that's erroneous, on several levels.
Today's inspiration--this is an edited repeat post of maybe a year or two ago--came to me in a small vest-pocket-sized booklet of De Mello's final Meditations. Topic is 'love'...of course, being a Jesuit, he's an expert! Oh Yeah?
Please note that the following is an excerpt. It has to do with attachments to people, places, and things...mainly (I think) PEOPLE, and really needs the brief background of the chapter for true understanding:
From THE WAY TO LOVE, the last meditations of Anthony De Mello, page 58, slightly edited:
"....I will not longer say to my friend, 'How happy you have made me.' For in so saying I flatter her/his ego and manipulate her into wanting to please me again. And I give myself the illusion that my happiness depends on my friend. (What a responsibility for her to assume!) Rather I will say, 'When you and I met (meet, talk, write)...happiness arose.'
That leaves the happiness uncontaminated by her/his ego and mine. Neither of us can take credit for it. And that makes it possible for the two of us to part with no attachment to each other, or to the experience which our meeting generated, for we have enjoyed, not each other, but the symphony that arose up in our meeting......"
Peeps, I discern that inside happiness often manifests itself as an outward expression of my realization, my faith, that God is with us, and within us--each of us.
Please do not ask me how I know this.
I bet I'm gonna be sorry after I hit "PUBLISH POST".....but, here goes...NOW!
SOBER today!
AT PEACE today!
LOVE today
Peeps! Live a good life...TODAY!
--steveroni
17 comments:
Attachment? Not on THIS blog--grin!
good stuff, steve. I really enjoy de Mello's perspectives. I like to think that the happiness that "arises" from an interaction with someone is the result of God's love flowing through each of us and between us - giving us a positive feeling of being connected --or, if you will, a feeling of happiness! In this way, de Mello is so right on because it is not me nor the other person that is responsible for the happy feeling --all the credit rightly goes to God and that keeps me humbled (ego in check) and less "attached" to others. Hope you have a great day!
i dont think it is a bod thing that happiness arrises out of being with someone. we were never intended to walk life alone. you can look back at genesis and see His heart in this...now if we become dependant on it that is another story all together...
Interesting post Steveroni. I am happy when I am with my beautiful, or think of her, or hear her voice. For me the happiness I have is dependant on me giving of myself to someone, something, somewhere else. If I just disconnect form the person, place or thing, then the happiness is transitory, illusory. Im not sure that the kind of happiness I want. Im with CS Lewis on this. "The pain now is part of the happiness then. Thats the deal." Good to read you.
I think it's good if we meet, talk, relate with people and it makes us happy and we feel that joy, that comes out of good relationships.
Not good is if we are dependent of what other people say and do.
But maybe that's often a thin line - and - what I want you to tell - when you and I write...happiness arises in me... ;o
MARIE: Thank you, girl. I'm thinking maybe Peeps disagree a bit, not with De Mello, but with steveroni's interpretation. Hope so anyway.
Tomorrow (another De Mello), I will quote him directly and leave my 2 cents in my pocket.
Thanks for your excellent remarks!
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BRIAN: The whole point I tried to make was detaching without dependence--and therefore, happiness. Not good at making points. Should have done the debate thing in HS instead of play trumpet in marching band.
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FINDON: it always, when we are connecting--like now--that I feel a "third party" almost...of happiness, that you are here, and me, too. Thank for commenting.
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CLAUDIA: YOU are "something else", kiddo, and you catch me now smiling, laughing, at your last line. How RIGHT YOU ARE--I agree TOTALLY! That IS the point which I had in mind. THANK YOU SO much for being on this side of that thin line.
Later!
a great deal of the construct of speech and literature, of all genres, is directly impacted by society and the norms within...(my opinion).
at one time any sort of slang was frowned upon...and a student would not dare dream to put that in a class project.
however, the loosening of the academic belts has occurred. and we must take the good and the bad.
as writers, we must decide which
suits us best...and what works best to convey our ideas to the reader.
interpersonal relations i view as the same. and agree about the preciseness...
seeing your points and agreeing with brian as well.
have a great sunday!
Ok... so your comments make me happy!! : ) No matter what my circumstance I choose to live happy. I am the eternal optimist. Yup.... I do cry a lot but that's passion.... I hope...lol!
BTW.... you're on!! I will name it....*Where goes my heart goes I*! Now after many years with the Cincinnati Orchestra I know you can write something beautiful!! You'll need to do a little video and post it so we can all hear it! : )
Love the pic...and why on earth would you not want to post this. What you wrote was very true. Have a great week, Steve
You're right, this one was deep. A little too deep for me. I believe there is not enough expression of love in the world, especially after moving to a part of the country where people hugging each other seems a bit "queer." So the few people who are willing to take that extra step and show affection are definitely going to know that they bring happiness to me. And I bring happiness to them, too.
I know there's more to the readings, so I'll just stop there... I think the most important thing is that I will find true happiness as I continue to seek God's will, day by day.
♥ Brad
You "know this" because it is like the blood in your veins. Some knowledge is undeniable... especially self-knowledge. And everyday, we grow... from something someone said... or did... or something we said... or did... and life happens to us and we love it... warts and all!
Hugs to you, Steveroni!
Nevine
You say -and- I say;
and then
"Happiness arose"
good point- you and I
both contribute-
a hot air balloon or bubble,
it happens as a by-product-
( I'm thinking out loud-
something my hubby hates)
Is it 'In' or 'out'?
depends on how trusting we are...
Thanks !
Oh first let me say I love the photo... I really do, that says more than words, but of course YOUR words say more than anything, and mean so much to me, Sweet Peep!
Thank you!
;)
My dear uncle likes to say that "happiness is a choice". Keep playing in that happy symphony!
This reminds me of something...of course! You know how people ask you to pray for them or for someone...or we say that we will pray for a person? And what if I forget? Guilt! What I mean when I say I will pray for someone is that whenever God brings that person to my mind, I will "pray" for them. I will affirm and hold to God's highest and best happening in their lives. A prayer list that I will go down and check off? No, not me. A prayer and positive energy when I think of them? Yes! It seems a parallel to me of your thoughts. Sorta...as obligation turns to pleasure and bond. :) Been awhile, huh?
you are so right. we can only depend on ourselves for happiness...
Attachment! I know all about it. We project on to others what we want them to be or what we feel we lack and then depend on them for our happiness.
I am going to use the advice here and realize that the feeling of happiness AROSE in me, rather than believing another made me feel that way...then clinging to that :)
I love your posts. Really I do. Happiness arises in me when I read them :)
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