As I understand, in the early days of Alcoholics Anonymous, certain guys (almost everyone new) had to be hospitalized. Well, the hospital, in order to guarantee payment, asked that every Alcoholic , upon admission, had to produce someone who would sponsor the new member. The "sponsor" was expected to PAY even if the patient did not. Now, THAT was "SPONSORSHIP"!
Sponsorship...AGAIN?
Sponsorship...AGAIN?
Just think what a huge act of humility it was for me, a self-centered alkie, to ask someone to help me. I am remembering. I could not even realize I needed help. What help?
My game was...I was always RIGHT THERE to help, when someone asked ME for help...but I'll be dammmmmed if I was going to ask YOUR help--that the great ME! was gonna stoop so low as to admit I was finally what you people said: POWERLESS, and that I needed help. Bull Crap on that!
A "we" program? Since when?
Since it IS a humbling behavior (asking for help) it was a huge change for me to ask someone--a MAN???--C'mon now, I'll ask a woman for help/commiseration(!), but a guy? Oh, well....(This one thing was what almost kept me from returning "next week".)
I could see that everyone around me who HAD a sponsor was fairly happy, their thinking seemed "above average!" and most looked like they were a 'part OF', rather than 'apart from' something. And I wanted to be like them...
"I wanted what you had", but I didn't know those words yet. And--for some strange reason--, I wanted you to like me! Oh GOD, how I wanted that!...and so I did what you said, more or less...less?
And so time slipped by, and here is:
TODAY
I hate to admit it, but sometimes I simply just do not want to sponsor a certain person, or maybe anybody, on a certain day. But I've been reminded that when I was searching, how much 'courage' it took ME to get out there and ask a stranger to help me
So even if I do not WANT to be your sponsor...when you ask, I tell you, "Sure, I'll sponsor you temporarily, until you can find a permanent sponsor."
That way I do not 'destroy' that spark of humility which enabled you to ASK! It is those small sparks which become a flame of hope and belief, then eventually a roaring fire of ENTHUSIASM! This--I KNOW about. I LIVE it!
Let's hear it--for sobriety today, Peeps! OK?
Without LOVE, there is nothing--absolutely nothing--look it up! WITH LOVE, there is everything--yes, everything!
In LOVE and Service,
Sincerely,
Steve E.
24 comments:
Boy do I understand the difficulty of asking for help. I hated it before and I still don't like it. I guess I'm a little better just because I've had to do it so often, and I've grown to understand that I can't do it by myself. Like you said, it does make me want to encourage someone else who asks, because I know how hard it is! Thanks Steve
ask for help sucks, as my bean would so eloquently put it.... and i soooo used to agree with his sentiments. and althugh it still isn't easy, i do it.... good post!
Asking for help very difficult indeed!
We just had 3 great "sponsors" speak at a "Sponsorship: Who, Why and How?" workshop in our district.
It was a great experience and I learned something about relationships, saying "yes" and being present and accountable to someone.
I've learned more about myself from not only my sponsor, but most especially my sponsees.
My experience accepting those as they are, and allowing them to tug my time and understanding of the book a bit, expands my own knowledge and pushes me to work a better program for someone else's benefit...
As I sit here, I've been "stood up" one more time by a sponsee who showed up faithfully @ 6am for 1 year. I've seen this behavior a number of times from different faces over the years. The willingness waxes and wanes over time. Some seem to have the grace to continue to show up - others, fall away.
I'm always saddened when folks get into that space where they loose their ability to show up. Trust me - it's not that I can't fill that time with other activity. It's just that I've seen folks die over the years from the most treatable fatal disease on the planet...
Good post, Steve - yay sobriety!
Peace & aloha.
My sponsor tells me that I have to say no - sponsoring more than 3 women is an ego trip. But I always help them to find someone else.
I was willing to ask for help and am willing to help others. It has helped me to stay reasonably sane. Great post on a great topic.
I like that you consider their feelings and at least agree to sponsor them temporarily.
Great post and interesting background story.
I learned to ask for help when I came down with Lyme's disease in 2006. Man, I felt so bad. I remember trying to walk up a little hill to get home and a co-worker drove by on his golf cart (lived/worked on campus). I said, "Hey man, can you take me home, please, I don't think I can make it."
He says, "No, No I'm in a hurry."
As if. I wanted to cry--jeez, there I was, finally asking for help, admitting weakness. But as I walked up to my home, I found two friends waiting there. "what can we do?"
They read to me until I fell asleep, took my 6am work shift and made sure I had enough liquids. It was amazing!
Since then, I'm not egotistical. I know I need help sometimes. And others can do it just as good--if not better!
I never heard that be a "temporary sponsor" and I will help you find someone else before. Cool!
Since AA's first meeting was in Cleveland, you can look at the first meeting schedule, up to the present one, and in the back under District Office it states; The secretary in turn finds a Sponsor. A lot of Cleveland AA's still do it that way. We don't tell people to find someone you can RELATE to, and ask them. A new guy or gal doesn't relate to us. they will probably go back to the bar, where they can relate to the person sitting next to them. I have had three Sponsor's since I have been around. They were all assigned, none picked. The last one picked my present Sponsor while he was in Hospice. That works for me.
Love isn't love until you give it away. "For God so love the world that he gave..."
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