A FEW PERSONAL THOUGHTS

SCATTERED THOUGHTS

 

"Things" don't bug me. 

Any more. Much. YEAH...RIGHT! ;-)

I started to write simply that "things don't bug me". Then I got to re-thinking that statement. Oh well, so things really DO bother me? But it turns out that only ME bothers me. Most other "things" are what and how they are supposed to be--usually, that is.  

That elusive word in the Serenity Prayer: WISDOM.

For many years conceptual *wisdom* escaped me, though I tried.  I DID try! Wisdom to Know the Difference. "Why is it so much simpler for others",  I thought. I fought it and thought it.  I gritted my teeth and tried--like some people pray, making it a strenuous activity. So I stopped that. Guess what? No longer concerned, the wisdom-to-know-the-difference was granted me.

So now I have wisdom (come on, YOU know what kind I'm meaning here--grin!), and working backwards in the Serenity Prayer, it is now the Courage to Change which is giving me so much trouble.  It was easy to own that courage to change when I did not know WHAT to change.  Damn "wisdom!!!"

VISITOR from Chicago

This morning at a meeting one of the dozen visitors from "up Nowath" announced he was from Chicago.  A little later, one of our Naples Peeps, a regular said, "I got sober in Chicago". In my own formerly-habitual manner I wished to say, "Well, I got sober in Chicago. Once. For about two hours! Then I woke up, and started in on my vodka again."  Well, so much for resolution. Now, where did I stash that bottle?

On alcoholic "COMPARISONS"...

Ya know how many of us compare with one another's drunk stories, and sober stories. Some say, "Oh, I was better than HIM!"  Or..."I drank more than HER!". In other words, the old "I'm better than" and "I'm worse than" syndrome. Well, for a long time now, I have felt--truly--no better nor worse than. I am only the word "than"....(please do not ask me what I mean here--I do not know--grin!)

The word here is not to compare, but to Identify--I now Identify with the THINKING, I don't compare with the DRINKING--so important, this.

Last, certainly not least--for today--STAYING HAPPY

Peeps do not disturb me much, no matter what they espouse, or say--except on weekends...well, also week DAYS, I guess--grin! Actually, that was a lie--I am bothered less and less about what peeps think or say about me...because I have found they don't think or say ANYTHING about me--ever! Only wish I had discovered that 70 years ago!

I am free to live, to come and go almost at will, to be sober, to choose, to be at peace, to pray, to love, to roam, to ride that big scooter ("slow down big boy") and to be nearly always HAPPY! I have said for many years, that "www" we used to need in our Internet addresses--that "www" stood for "What a Wonderful World"!

Love to all, and Good Night...Dammmmit, it's late again (sigh!). And let's stay sober today...OK?

TWO TOPICS C'MON, TWO???

ORATORY AT AVE MARIA TOWN, FLORIDA

Visiting an AA Room? From out of town?
Try a Little Humility...

Topic yesterday at 5:30 PM meeting was a bit unusual: "If you could have but ONE and only one of AA's tools, which would you pick, to help you stay sober?" I was thinking, "Here we go again, some egomaniac chair person is working to find topics which are "far out" so as to make an impression."

As the sharing traveled around the room, it seemed as if the folks were giving quite a lot of thought as each made the singular choice of one tool only, to keep.

Slogan after slogan was quoted as important to some, also virtues, also certain steps to others. Finally my turn, and I held up my nicotine-stained, cellophane-covered Big Book, stating that it had everything in it that I needed to know and do, in order to stay sober, and it has done so quite well for a very long time.

Don't forget, I've sat in this very room for many years. OK, a burly, mountain-climbing visitor from NC chimed in right after me, actually making fun of "...some of you people who are Big Book Thumpers, holding that thing up, and think you know everything...etc., etc." (Huh? Who? Me?) Thank God, no anger, no resentment, etc. When did THAT happen?

Well I learned something, but I do not think the mountain climber did. That something was, "If I am ever visiting in an AA room, don't start in picking on the guy (humble me?) who just about everyone there knows, trusts, and loves! It is not the way to get invited to dinner after the meeting with the girls and the boys"!

Ave Maria Town

What a wonderful ride from our house to the town of Ave Maria last Saturday! Perfect weather for riding, and perfect timing, between meetings and mass. The 28 miles takes 40 minutes--since Prayer Girl was riding 'shotgun' (WITH a shotgun!)--and joggers were passing us, it seemed. -grin!

Long before we were in the town limit, we saw in the far distance, the tall cathedral-type oratory, with its buttressed interior, standing sentinel in the center of our county--Collier County is larger than the state of Rhode Island...but that ain't sayin' much, of course!

The semi parish church--surrounded by a town rivaling Disney World's "Main Street"--is guarding tomato fields, and lots of 'other' fields..you can figger it out. No nooner mass, but there are three others at variously-scheduled times. We could not stay. Lots of foreign visitors, almost like a pilgrimage atmosphere. And well it should be, this is a most beautiful new--old fashioned--church, spacious interior, you need opera glasses to see the choir loft.

During the week are scheduled two Latin masses, and one on Sunday. I mean, the university choir sings the old Gregorian chant masses which I learned and loved as a child--and still love, YESSSS!
Oh! so beautiful!!! Heavenly.

Forgot to mention this is all surrounded by Ave Maria University, dormitories, all the popular facilities, where not too many moons ago was....nothing! Amazing!

However, the most important building, and the most sought, the most appreciated, is the town's only coffee shop, The BEAN of AVE MARIA where mass is celebrated on the TV screen's EWTN station. A sign announces, "Do Not Change The Channel"...

Anna and I enjoyed our two-hour walk around the town and visit to the oratory, and also enjoyed our ride home. We learned that an AA group is beginning within a couple weeks (wonder what's taking them so long? They ARE catholic, ya know!) I will get out there and see if I can help. It will be a nice, slow, peaceful, stressless ride.

I'm happy to be home with my computer...next one HAS to be a laptop! Teemed up with a Blackberry or an iMAC or some such.

Bless you all
In love and service,
Sincerely,
Steve E.