WHO? WHAT? ME?

CONFUSED   

JUST ANOTHER AA MEETING?
YEP!
THIS IS WHY I LOVE THEM...

Amended: We lost two this week to suicide, both shocking, because there were no clues that they were harboring "stuff" about which they cold not share with another. God, please take care of their souls, and let the lesson of their lives--and deaths--be for all to open up, ask for help, and share in this wonderful life of sobriety and beyond....

   
At a recent early morning AA "Speaker" meeting the speaker was talking about the chaotic life he's lived, the money he'd owed. Thousands of dollars in child support, many, MANY thousands to the IRS, thousands to former employers, employees, also former business partners. And he told of the Peeps he had hurt throughout life, beginning with the parental home, then the marital home, then the next marital home, etc....children--not physically... friends  who were friends no longer.

All these streets have now been swept clean, owed debts satisfied, amends made, changes in himself, changes which came about in some others BECAUSE of his new way of life. IF you are recovering (OK..."recovered") from an addiction, you understand of what I am writing here. If not, you well may still "get it"...OK?--grin!

The point is soon coming, stay with me here.  He next told of how he "found" AA, attended a few meetings, had trouble deciding whether he was an alcoholic or a "social" drinker.

(I am again hearing those words:

If I drink to be social, it is not "social Drinking"!

 
Actually he really knew deep-down that he had long ago "crossed over that line" because he thought about drinking much of the time, as in "How good it will be when I'm off work in about (ugh!) three more HOURS???" --OR-- "How wonderful that I have two days off, I can drink as I please with no work obligations!" And when alcohol was not in the "near-future" picture, he was restless, irritable, and discontent with himself, with everything.

At a meeting (years before), even though he identified with the THINKING of these odd sober Peeps, he wanted NO PART in stopping...and he just didn't "fit in". The alcoholic Peeps accepted one another with laughter and easy conversation, but not HIM. Nobody went out of their way to talk with HIM!

When, at the finish of the meeting, all stood in a circle next to each other to meditate a moment, there was no place for him in the crowd.  He was ready to sneak out of the room, when one fellow said to the girl next to him, "Hey, let's move a bit so this new fellow can get in here". Then, with a big smile, "Come on in buddy, there's room for everyone here--grin!"

At this point, the speaker was in pre-cry mode, as he choked a bit, and softly said, "THAT'S when I knew I belonged here. I was now ONE OF YOU. I FIT IN. I STAYED. I AM STILL HERE 36 YEARS LATER. Thank you AA Peeps from the bottom of my heart for giving me my own Higher Power as I understand It. I call It by its name, GOD. And I thank GOD for bringing me to you peeps, when I had not a clue God was doing so."

HERE IS THE REAL POINT: I never know when a single word of encouragement, a calmness of demeanor, a look of recognition, a smile, will be that message which God is sending to a Peep who is suffering inside with all the fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, hatred, bitterness, guilt, resentment, self loathing, depression.  A message which might help relieve her/him from the bondage of self.

PEACE, Peeps!
LOVE, peeps!
SOBER today, Peeps!

--steveroni

PICTURE BY:  

Confused__by_sinademiral

@ Deviant Art