POWER OR HIGHER POWER?At the top right is the "JUST BEING REAL" award
handed to me by Just Be Real. Click HERE for
her blog, and please visit this wonderful
REALLY real girl
her blog, and please visit this wonderful
REALLY real girl
This Higher Power thing. I do not have trouble with it, for I do not ponder what may be wrong with the notion of God. As is popular to say nowadays, "I call Him God, 'cause that's His Name". I have, from day one, right or wrong, accepted everything Alcoholics Anonymous had to offer me, through people who seemed to know what they were talking about. I was really just THAT sick!
The only proof that I made a good choice, is that today I am still sober. Also, today I could not be more happy than if I'd "died-and-gone-to-heaven", as it were--but I ain't! Watch out folks, I'm old, but not dead. And for that I thank AA also--that I was able to 'get old'.
Imagine--as I look back--I had two heart attacks before age 34, and lots of other crap health-wise. And now, when they prop me up in a chair -grin! I don't wanna go out and play, I just wanna blog! And should ANYONE question why I took the bait of AA hook, line, and sinker, I'll tell 'em exactly why. I don't KNOW! I'll show them now, though. I'll pass them at 100 mph on my scooter (and kill myself, proving--WHAT did you say?)?
Admittedly, AA is NOT for everyone, nor is Buddhism for everyone. All I can say unequivocally is that it IS for me. Thank You, Higher Power. Thank You, God!
This morning I was traveling from my AA meeting to the eye doctor who planted lenses in my eyeballs last fall. He said, "Everything is looking good." Whereupon I thought, "Why does he not ask ME how everything is looking? I'm the patient here." So I told him I see roaches on the walls at night, crawling, crawling. Then when I reach out to grab one, nothing is there but wall. He says, "Well that's something which may clear up in time." Oh well, since I am SO HAPPY with my eyesight since the surgeries, I really have no complaint.
But hold on, I got off topic again. Riding my bike to the doctor visit, I was being tailgated by one of those fancy dandy pickup trucks, driven by a guy whose father died young, and left him a pile of unspent drug money. He was rumbling along bearing down on me, right on my butt, and my butt was uncomfortable. And so was I. So I called on my Higher Power of the moment, named Suzuki. And I gave Suzu the gas, and the power I felt--OK, my butt felt it--was akin to leaving earth on a flight to Mars, or wherever they're traveling these days.
I rear-mirrored the truck, and it looked a lot smaller--three blocks behind me. And I thought, the power in my bike is similar to that Power over heaven and earth called God. It is there constantly, and always, helping me to idle along, or to pass a slower vehicle. And when I am in deep shit trouble, I can--and do--choose to call on that Power for EXTRA help.
The help from God I receive, that unseen and unfelt Roaring Power, is almost always now, immediate, plentiful, consoling, forgiving, loving, and lasting. Next time, I only have to remember the previous time.
Note: It was not always thus. This kind of God-Power "Quick-Launch" came only after some years of dedicated practice, and remembering to pull out the throttle. When I received my new bike one year ago, I did not dream it might prove to be a conduit for my learning, for my spiritual growth...and OH! Do I still need to grow spiritually, Oh my, Yessss! Perfection is unattainable, but striving for it is NOT.
And I know where to go. I just love the people where I go. My church is full of peeps, trying consistently to be better people of God. And AA meetings make it for me. The Steps, Traditions, sponsor, connecting with friends, opportunities to meet and help new guys, YOU BLOG PEEPS...I just am in love with it ALL! "And here, WITH the Grace of God, go ME!"
In LOVE and Service,
Sincerely.
Steve E
