You're mine! You're mine! All mine!
ADDENDUM: Go here to find out what I am doing tonight at 8 PM.
Now click these blue-colored words: The Second Road --It is an online community where people can communicate, interact, learn, and live while facing addiction.
Hope to see some of--well, ALL of youse guys there, 8-9 PM Eastern.
ADDICTION UNCOVERED
It was a beautiful day at an AA Intergroup Beach Picnic one week ago. Because of regular afternoon showers we drove the car
instead of riding scooters to this affair. Of course with a car, parking was a half mile from the event, located in Wiggins Pass State Park, a really nice, miles-long beach park in SW Florida.
After arrival and lugging all our paraphernalia (my gosh!) I was already tired. So I went to get a coffee. It was about 12 noon. The volunteer told me, "We do not serve coffee at these functions". She said it, like "We do not serve alcohol at these functions". And...she did not bat an eyelash. I thought she was certainly joking. "You are joking, right?" No joke, Steve, there WAS no coffee.
Now, for a long time, I had been LIVING on coffee--not Dee-calf. COFFEE! Maybe a gallon a day. Too much? Who knew? It had become my very lifeblood.
I started feeling jumpy. I perspired. I became immediately nervous. I was actually, really, truly "Restless, Irritable, and Discontent". I began making a real scene, my first in many years. I was, like, well, a drunk without his morning bottle of vodka. I was transported back in time. Way back. I'm not gonna say how far back, because it could be taken the wrong way.
Peeps, I was in serious pain. I ached inside and out. My hands shook. I do not drink water, Gatorade, 7-Up, tea. Colas make me burp or hiccup. I had already been up early, been to meetings, everything was fine about the day...except...no coffee, at an AA beach function, with guest speaker, and a meeting.
What does one do? Well, i became part of the solution, rather than a continuing part of the problem. I nervously walked the half-mile to our car.
It took a full hour, walking, traffic, etc., but I made it to a Starbucks, came back with four huge coffees (three for me!). At Starbucks I had a big one while waiting for the rest of the order. I must tell you--I hate this--with my first sip of the soothing hot, nearly-black liquid, I again experienced that sense of ease and comfort which came at once by taking a drink of...coffee!
This is not a funny thing. I found out how much of a craving I had developed. And do you know, I had no idea it was that bad. I did not realize I was hooked on a drug all these years, which affects my body and my brain. I am sitting here now at 2:00 AM drinking, well, you know...COFFEE! And as soon as I hit the bed, I'll be able to shut it down to sleep in several minutes.
I use coffee as a sleep aid. I shake when I do not have it. Coffee soothes my nerves. Coffee lets me live. Now you know another "bad" thing about me. How many more? Stay tuned!
Let us ALL have a sober good Sunday!
Stll loving you, Peeps!
Peace.
Steve
