Note: The intention of this post is not to show the
despair we experience, but rather that recovery
IS available--it is free--it is wonderful! --Steve E.
despair we experience, but rather that recovery
IS available--it is free--it is wonderful! --Steve E.
My friend N, woke one sunny Sunday morning in 1993. Beside her was her husband. He was not snoring. He was not sleeping. He was not breathing. He had died so peacefully, none of the usual characteristics of death lingered in the room.
N had been working a stressful job--overworking it, I'd say. Like 14-18 hours every day. She consciously decided to work as much as possible--no days off--to bury her grief. She managed many people and departments, and had one boss.
Most of her peeps--and her boss--loved her much. All prayed and cajoled--finally begged--for her to take a vacation, to meditate, to pray, to grieve. To no avail were their greatest efforts. They were rewarded however, with her acknowledgement that she indeed, could put to good use a day off, away from the club.
Hence came this scribbled poem, the morning of her first 'day away' in two months:
april 03...written by ns
DAY OFF
we miss you so..
on your day off
isn't she sweet
oh how talented
she can do anything
she is so happy
life is so good
good to you
did you have a
wonderful day off
yes I put a gun
to my head
pulled the trigger
it was a day of rest.....n
DAY OFF
we miss you so..
on your day off
isn't she sweet
oh how talented
she can do anything
she is so happy
life is so good
good to you
did you have a
wonderful day off
yes I put a gun
to my head
pulled the trigger
it was a day of rest.....n
Pleased, and SO HAPPY am I to report that the gun did not fire. N always was a very hard and dedicated worker. She was and still is very talented in painting, pottery making, stained glass art, concrete working (art), glazing, ceramics, sewing, needlepoint, decorating, tiling floors, antiquing cabinets and furniture and, well...you name it!
Accompanying the talents of N, is one of her many gifts from God, that of 'getting along with people'. N is growing (and willing to grow) in spirituality, as we all are working to do. N and I were very close at one time, a many-years-blong drunken time. Then we began to drift apart, as two ships might sail from one another, on two different oceans.
Recently meeting N again, after a long period of time, has validated my belief that everyone can be friendly--even friends!--loving the God we see within each other, rejoicing in the recovery of one another, and gratefully praising Him for what He has wrought, in our corner of the world of sobriety.
As I read the blogs today, I am so aware of the good He is bringing me--and you, dear bloggers, through these pages of truth we write daily. These blogs allow me to detail my AA life in all my affairs. And occasionally you might discover some of my thoughts here. Thank you for reading this post. And God's PEACE be with all of us!
In love and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.
