HOW I SEE ALL LIFEIN RETROSPECT
Every day I read blogs and comments from nearly two dozen Peeps. My head shakes slowly back and forth, as I am simply awed at the eruditeness of the bloggers in our select little group. Your blogs are written with style, imagination, honesty, and a certain humor which could only be derived from experiences of living a period of years in abusive and/or self-abusive/destructive circumstances.
So many of the comments left by followers on each blog are written in an atmosphere of caring, sharing, and loving tenderness. I am sometimes overwhelmed by the directness of responses to problems others might be suffering. I am cheered by enthusiastic responses of long-timers to newer recovering peeps, and the newer members' to 'older member' comments. Often it surprises me (it should not, After all, it IS God working here, not us peeps -grin!) and warms my heart to read how one of us was really and truly helped by remarks from another.
To add to this mixture the fact that many--most?--of us have never met; do not know each other's last names; in many cases not even first names; have no idea what we all 'look' like; in some cases are recovering from different illnesses than alcoholism; ALL have a sense of a Higher Power directing our lives; ALL express here a spirituality, which would lead an outsider to sincerely believe that we meet together at least once a week, in person! And ALL express themselves in superior fashion...in poetry, prose, photos and blog layout.
Further, many of us share openly with one another now--or have in our archives--stuff that even our near relatives and close friends do not now, and may never, know about ourselves. We speak with each other as if we are a large family--the only difference being that we don't fight! I have seen and read these amazing blogs for nearly a year.
The same ten people who welcomed me online here are still blogging, for the most part, daily. Their welcoming words remain engraved in my heart, more than the welcome words said to me at my very first AA meeting. BECAUSE, back then I was in such a fog I couldn't remember anything. Now I CAN put together some loving memories and store them in my private and secret place. If ever I'm having an "off" day, I call on those happiest of memories, which immediately pick me up.
Even on an operating table in surgery, these fondest of memories--of my real family, and of my virtual family, you bloggers, past and present--are what now help to keep me serene and at peace. And all is well and good...because I KNOW now that God is directing my life and yours--to the extent that we allow Him.
For all AA members, and God Who introduced us, I am so grateful! To my sponsor, and those I sponsor, and did sponsor, and will sponsor, I am grateful. To my families! I am grateful. And I owe so much to those who were here for me, as I walked in the door of AA all those years ago. And I thank with all my heart those who were here for me online nearly a year ago. And my gratitude is also for all others who have come on these blogs since, and those who, for one reason or another, have left the blog world. You ALL have had a part in my learning experience, since I usually do what you tell me. And we CONTINUED to grow along spiritual lines. We CONTINUED to take personal inventory...the word "continued" appears in other places in our literature. I think of this existence as one great continuum, of which I am a very small but important part.
Truly, in Service and Love.
Peace,
Steve E
