DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Monday, May 18, 2009

A TUESDAY RETROSPECTIVE

HOW I SEE ALL LIFE

IN RETROSPECT

Every day I read blogs and comments from nearly two dozen Peeps. My head shakes slowly back and forth, as I am simply awed at the eruditeness of the bloggers in our select little group. Your blogs are written with style, imagination, honesty, and a certain humor which could only be derived from experiences of living a period of years in abusive and/or self-abusive/destructive circumstances.

So many of the comments left by followers on each blog are written in an atmosphere of caring, sharing, and loving tenderness. I am sometimes overwhelmed by the directness of responses to problems others might be suffering. I am cheered by enthusiastic responses of long-timers to newer recovering peeps, and the newer members' to 'older member' comments. Often it surprises me (it should not, After all, it IS God working here, not us peeps -grin!) and warms my heart to read how one of us was really and truly helped by remarks from another.

To add to this mixture the fact that many--most?--of us have never met; do not know each other's last names; in many cases not even first names; have no idea what we all 'look' like; in some cases are recovering from different illnesses than alcoholism; ALL have a sense of a Higher Power directing our lives; ALL express here a spirituality, which would lead an outsider to sincerely believe that we meet together at least once a week, in person! And ALL express themselves in superior fashion...in poetry, prose, photos and blog layout.

Further, many of us share openly with one another now--or have in our archives--stuff that even our near relatives and close friends do not now, and may never, know about ourselves. We speak with each other as if we are a large family--the only difference being that we don't fight! I have seen and read these amazing blogs for nearly a year.

The same ten people who welcomed me online here are still blogging, for the most part, daily. Their welcoming words remain engraved in my heart, more than the welcome words said to me at my very first AA meeting. BECAUSE, back then I was in such a fog I couldn't remember anything. Now I CAN put together some loving memories and store them in my private and secret place. If ever I'm having an "off" day, I call on those happiest of memories, which immediately pick me up.

Even on an operating table in surgery, these fondest of memories--of my real family, and of my virtual family, you bloggers, past and present--are what now help to keep me serene and at peace. And all is well and good...because I KNOW now that God is directing my life and yours--to the extent that we allow Him.

For all AA members, and God Who introduced us, I am so grateful! To my sponsor, and those I sponsor, and did sponsor, and will sponsor, I am grateful. To my families! I am grateful. And I owe so much to those who were here for me, as I walked in the door of AA all those years ago. And I thank with all my heart those who were here for me online nearly a year ago. And my gratitude is also for all others who have come on these blogs since, and those who, for one reason or another, have left the blog world. You ALL have had a part in my learning experience, since I usually do what you tell me. And we CONTINUED to grow along spiritual lines. We CONTINUED to take personal inventory...the word "continued" appears in other places in our literature. I think of this existence as one great continuum, of which I am a very small but important part.

Truly, in Service and Love.
Peace,
Steve E

14 comments:

Shadow said...

you have describer here EXACTLY why it is i love blogging!!! glad to have you as my friend!

Just Be Real said...

Stevie, what a wonderful post! You certainly do have a lot to be grateful for with your faithful loving bloggers who have been with you from the git-go! Thank you for sharing!!!

dAAve said...

For those of us who blog and stick with it, this medium offers another wonderful tool. Most in recovery don't take advantage of this opportunity for one reason or another; too bad for them.
It became part of my program almost 5 years ago and is just an accepted part of my daily life.
I'm very glad to have YOU as part of it.

Mary Christine said...

Let us continue...

Steve E. said...

To Mary C

Concise, Terse, Succinct.

Shadow: I'm so glad to read someone feels the same way I do.

Just Be Real: Please stay here with us, girl!

dAAve: "I'm very glad to have YOU as part of it." This line really touched me...these words come forth..."and also with you."

Joops said...

Wow what a sincere post Sir Steve, your views and beliefs is like my dad's..

ryliej said...

Hi Steve, your family and your friends are so lucky to have you. You are very compassionate!

Ed G. said...

I'm glad to be in this part (or any part) of your world...

Steve E. said...

Thanks Ed, that's the kind of comment
anyone would love to display! No Ego, just love of one alkie for another.

rylie: You sure must have grown up with goooood parents. You are Waaay too kind to this alkie.

Joops: Well, man, sincerity comes more naturally now...sober, ya know, just like yer Dad.
Sincerely,
Sir Steve -grin!

wolfie185 said...

Steve, nice post and right on!! I appreciate the gratitude and the humbleness(is humbleness a word?-;D ). Blogging for me is truly another tool in the recovery/spiritual tool kit, I get a chance to be open and honest and also to connect with great people along the path, yup I agree whole heartedly with you and others. I am glad I found your blog via Shadow who I resently found also.
Peace and Fellowship
Scott

Cat said...

Your post's sometimes have this way of making me feel like I just got a big warm hug.

Thanks!

Prayer Girl said...

Love the picture. The essence of all the words in that picture are expressed in the thoughts of your blog.

Feels wonderful.

ME

A. Miles said...

Blogging is the best recovery tool I've found yet. It helps me own things--geezum--it was so easy before to just never say anything.
You're right--we dig into the archives and many things I've written about recently are things I've never said to anyone.
I'm thrilled to see the overlap in my "real" life as well--finding confidence and clarity in my thoughts and emotions.

I love reading YOUR stuff bud!

Syd said...

I'm glad that you are part of all of this Steve. You add a lot of real stuff based on your experience in recovery. Thanks for that.