YEAR OF SEVERE FEAR

FEAR

NOTE: The year 1974 was my first year 
sober after 25 years of heavy drinking.

It is the month I remember and identify as "near my year of severe fear"...it is impossible for someone (non-alcoholic) to understand the combination of physical compulsion and mental obsession and moral degradation which encompasses the life of a practicing alcoholic, read: drunken sot.  Our Big Book calls it "Pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization".

The fear then, the loss of all hope, the barren wasteland of soul which I experienced during early March of 1974--the utter abandonment of family, friends, co-workers, and yes even God, was without any expectation that life might one day look a little better than hell itself.

But my greater fear was "How will I live?", now that I had decided never to drink another drop of alcohol...ever, forever, one day at a time.

Fear knocked on the door, faith answered and there was no one there!

Just as darkness is not something, neither is fear. Darkness is only the lack of light. You can not put darkness into a lighted area and make the light go away because darkness does not exist. Light, however, can be put in a dark area and the darkness goes away because the light does exist. 

One is a thing and the other is a no thing. One cannot put fear in a place of faith and make faith go away. One CAN put faith in a place of fear and make fear go away.

Fear was ME!  Faith (and Hope) was ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!

All week please celebrate with me in Gratitude my sobriety date 
Thursday, when I had my last drink of alcohol, a long time ago.

And we and I stay SOBER--today.
And we and I live in PEACE--today.
And we and I LOVE someone today.

Photo at DeviantArt, click HERE

MEETING MAKERS OR STEP TAKERS???

DO MEETING MAKERS 

MAKE IT???

One day I could not stop drinking...the next day happened--was taken to my first AA meeting and I never had another drink. Who can explain that this powerful mental obsession, compulsion, physical craving had simply vanished overnight?
  
Almost like a chant, I have heard some of the groups sound off. "It works if ya work it."  "Meeting makers make it."  Today at a meeting one confused fellow asked, "What DO I have to do to stay sober?" You can bet he got lots of answers. I had forgotten that many peeps have different ideas from mine on "how to stay sober"!

I'm always put in mind of sitting at table in a new restaurant.  I KNOW I'll be having something to eat, but I don't know WHAT until I'm given a menu, and maybe a few explanatory remarks.

Also at a symphony concert, I knew it would be a night of Beethoven, but did not know  whether I'd be hearing String Quartets, Trios, a Sonata, or a Septet.  A PROGRAM (menu) lets me see what is first, second, third, etc.  And if I follow it, my whole experience will be greatly enhanced.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, I was given a menu of Twelve Steps.  And then I was told to ask someone to be my sponsor, and that HE would explain that menu to me, word for inspired word.  And he did. Only HE picked ME.  That way I could not "fire" him, because I had not hired him --grin!

So, I'll cut to the chase here.  While meetings are a wonderful place to learn about the history, the program, the Twelve Steps ARE our Program.  Working the Steps is the answer. IT IS THE INDIVIDUAL WORKING OF OUR STEPS, with Adult Supervision, which keeps me sober.

Meeting Makers Make It?  Yes and No.  It is the STEP-TAKERS WHO MAKE IT!

Peeps, I think of you all a lot through a day.
And I wish God's BLESSINGS upon you all.
And God's PEACE with you all
God LOVES you all, and so do I.