UNTANGLED IN TANGLEWOOD

Long-ago slice of life of steveroni

Maestro Josef Kripps shouted, "Sing, SING!"

MY LIFE, MY MEMORY

A MEMORABLE SUMMER

 Some years ago, after my first season with the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra, at age 20, I had a cyst removed from left side of my neck and I can still today feel the warm blood trickle down my neck and chest and arm.  

Surgery was in the doctor's office. Tests showed a non-malignancy, but it sure made violin playing uncomfortable for several weeks.  I had (still have) on my violin a rosewood chin rest, and it became more red (with blood) as the days went by.  

Doctor said, "Don't play for a few weeks", but I was leaving in a short time for Tanglewood (Lenox Massachusetts), and had to practice like mad for those orchestra seating auditions.

It was a great summer musically, for me, many true learning experiences--studying with members of the Boston Symphony.  I felt well-blest to be playing under some famous conductors that summer; Aaron Copeland, Charles Munch, Leonard Bernstein, etc.

Gregor Piatagorsky--world-famous' cellist of the day--was my chamber music coach for one week, and Richard Bergen, Boston Symphony concertmaster, led our small group for two weeks.  I got to play first violin in a piano quintet group, with William Kroll's (violist and composer) daughter playing viola.  Ah, memories (again!)

Lagniappe:  Prior to the summer Tanglewood experience, my rather well-to-do Uncle T. sent me to his own "special" doctor for that cyst removal, saying everything would be "taken care of" and that the doctor had instructions to "take care of everything."  

Well, I got the bill several weeks later for $1,100 (helluva lot in 1950's) . But Uncle Tony had made it sound like HE would foot the bill.  We live, we learn--there IS no free lunch. So I took care of it
(the bill!)...

--steveroni

This may be a re-post from 2 years ago

I just do not remember, and too lazy to

look it up!

ARTISTS AND ANGELIC BREEZES

This poem is dedicated to the many artists, painters, poets, writers of prose, recovering addicts/alcoholics and story-tellers who day after day inspire me to try...try to become a better person. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

IN THE WIND IS ANGELS' SONG

The blowing breeze

Carries messages of love
Around the world
By creatures angelic
While I simply be.

And I observe
Churning waters of the sea,
Winded...and seeming
Directionless.
Also part of Thee?

I look at nature, painting Herself above
And below, quite colorfully
Beautifully, Vibrantly
I am part of it all--
"One plus one are always three".

I see many have been sent;
God's Creation of love continues.
God's gifts--so freely lent.
Artisans and artists, poets and Peeps
And on these blogs, they write to meeee?

Yesssssss!!!--grin!

Countless angels are singing
During wind's caressing of those
Sweet chimes of mine, to ring
As music. I HEAR!
And Oh! Now I SEE!

So blow wind, go wind, slow wind,
Push your own way this and that.
Since I have surely sinned
And since I have paid the fee
Come you angels!  Sing me FREE!

--Steve E. 3/14/2010

LOVE today!
PEACE today!
SOBRIETY today!
Willingness to CHANGE...today.

ANOTHER KIND OF BEAUTY IN MY LIFE

 

Beauty

Never have I really liked my mother.  During more than 60 years I did not  feel a warmth from her, a true non-obligated love.  When one has a strong intuition one way or another about anything for 60 years it cannot be denied, whatever were/are the reasons for the feelings.  Yes, I did and do love her--again, that sense of filial obligation. God does not demand that I love my mother, only that I honor her--"Honor Thy father and thy mother" or something like that.

That being stated, my mother did give me a lifeline to the road of happiness, a key to the notion of fulfillment.  My music.  I now sing in the church choir at St Ann in Naples FL. This is the first time ever that I entertained the thought of singing. For three months it has been a blessing in my life, and--for me--is another cause of living, not simply existing. So, I guess, "Thank you, Mom."

Jamie is the Music and Liturgy Director. I posted a blog about her in June 2008, if you are interested (it's pretty good!) here's the link.  And we worked together for nine months in 2007-8 and now I get to sing in her (really good) choir.  If it were not for my mother's years of constant prodding, I could not sit out there and read music as if it were a Stephen king novel.

Each year for 25 years I have been an orchestra member (violinist) at a large Baptist Church here for their annual Living Christmas Trees. We give 9 performances, and 2,000 people attend each one (18,000 people).

Anyway, to get to the point, I had not played in an orchestral situation for about a year. It is different than strolling, or playing alone in a country club foyer. To get "back in the saddle again" was sheer happiness, and with the greatest joy I told God how grateful I was that He allows me to continue to play in these types of situations.  So, I guess...thanks Mom.

And although I LOVE that we have some rehearsals now, plus those "shows" --churches like to call them "Presentations"--and I have some other gigs coming up, TIME is gonna be my problem. Maybe my Guardian Angel "Flex" will bend some time for me through these next five weeks. I will be reading, but not too much commenting. OK?

I was led to the Naples group of Alcoholics Anonymous a long time ago. One of those "things" I had to do was to stop drinking. Another was to pick up the "kit of tools for living" called Twelve Steps, and use them. Peeps I can unequivocally state that I should have been dead YEARS before now.  And I'd have missed the fun in life, the joys of helping other Alkies, and the pleasure of playing the violin until I'm 100--that's my new goal.

And I have never felt so young, so productive, and so happy for MANY moons!  I'll try for another poem tomorrow?  I feel one inside just in a rage to get out. I can hear it now:  "Rage, rage, rage".....

Peeps, let's stay SOBER today
Let's LOVE today
Let's spread PEACE today

AVE MARIA PARISH ORATORY

NEW TOWN, NEW CHURCH,
NEW UNIVERSITY, NEW AA MEETING

We had heard that a new AA meeting had started up about 35 miles out in the swamps of SW Florida, in a place called Ave Maria, a community of about two years. (I call that "new.) So four of us set out Monday night, since the group had asked for support from Naples AA members.

Meeting topic was a chapter in our big book called "To Employers". It is not my favorite place in the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous. I find it difficult to relate to a CEO who decides to keep an addict-alcoholic on the payroll while he seeks treatment, looking forward to the day when said addict would become a producing person. Yes, I admit there are some redeeming elements to the material, but in today's market, a boss is quite likely to tell the alcoholic-addict to "take a hike", since profits demand cutbacks,especially of dead wood.

Central to the Ave Maria community is the Oratory, pictured above, around which is clustered a large circle of Italian architecture of shops and apartments. After the meeting a few of us crossed the square (well, the circle!) to the Oratory, to check out the interior, and to just be "quiet, at peace" for a period of time.

Th night lighting played its softness throughout the church, which itself is reminiscent of an Italian Cathedral. Above the high altar hangs an imposing, near-gigantic cross icon of multi-tonnage. Two choicely placed spotlights made the cross symbol to shadow itself on either of two ceiling areas, giving views of different perspectives waayyyy up there. What magnificence!

Prayer Girl did what she does...prayed! Actually, PG made a fairly abbreviated "Way of the Cross" around the whole place, a place made for meditation. It occurs to me right now that I forgot something.

Up high and to the rear in a choir loft is situated the $1.2 million pipe organ, and on the keys was someone practicing, working on a piece by the great genius and icon of music, J.S. Bach. The playing was done in registers which emitted sounds ethereal throughout the Oratory. Just marvelous it was.

What blessings we received, for our taking the few steps across the traffic-less brick paving into a sanctum, a bit of heaven on earth. The Bach being played was with fitting passion.

Many interpret Bach in a square and pedantic, even boring manner. But any composer who fathered 24 children (Bach) had to write music with passion as its hallmark. So with Bach. (Enough of today's music lesson?)

What does this have to do with recovery? Well we started out to participate in an AA meeting. On the way home we had a "meeting after". This was Monday evening.

Right now I am in a passionate mood to join you all in being sober and clean today.

Peace
Love.
Steve

ONE MORE TIME

WHAT A BACK YARD!

IN THE MOUNTAINS

Fellow at an AA meeting received his 24-hour white chip Thursday at noon. Friday at noon he went up to get another. Naturally, the group members figured he drank again Thursday night--he told me he has a dozen white chips so far! Well, no, he had not had a thing to drink, he just wanted to get a chip every day for thirty days, so he could at least get "that far along" for once!

When I was asked my thoughts on that, my first temptation was to say, "Absolutely not. Those white chips serve a function in AA, and it is not to fill your pocket with them."

Then I finally did answer that, "You know, if it takes thirty little white poker chips to keep a guy sober for thirty little days--well, let it be so! What harm does it cause AA, or the group, as long as his peeps know what's up. He might just end up with a sponsor and thirty days of a head full of AA."

And so they decided to let him be, with a chip each day--my guess is that he will get tired of "faking it" before a week is out. We are not God. I learn something new every day. And I'm now even more "...willing to grow along spiritual lines." (One of my favorite sets of Big Book "six-word-phrases". Another set-of-six is "We absolutely insist on enjoying life.")

Went square dancing tonight, on top of another mountain, included with a really interesting and thoroughly enjoyable dining experience--country-style! Well, I danced with Anna's sponsee, because Anna has a sore, sore big toe. Complete honesty begs me to divulge that my legs lasted about ten minutes. Is that what age has done to me? Or is it blogging? Hmmm? Well, also I was wearing sandals, not your usual clogging gear.

It is after midnight, and we leave early in morning, so that's it for tonight, Peeps!

DAILY TRIVIA

There are as many molecules in a teaspoonful of water, as there are teaspoonfuls of water in the Atlantic ocean.

SERIOUS MUSIC

Does anyone remember these words to a ditty?
"If the ocean were whiskey and I was a duck,
I'd swim to the bottom and never come up."

Guess you can tell how tired I am. -grin!

Peace, and Love, from
Steve E

MUSIC AND AA AND ME

G F Handel's MESSIAH--by G F Handel! -grin-

For several days I have been immersed in violin playing for one or another entity. This afternoon I was part of an orchestra for a performance of Handel's MESSIAH, by Handel (little joke!)--for chorus, orchestra and soloists. It was G O O D, guys. Good for the audience, good for the performers, good for me. I have not been in orchestral situations lately, and it was like being "back in the saddle again", know what I mean?

Go back a day, when we had a long rehearsal--only one--and it was like old home week, for me, and others. It was like--well--when someone who used to be a regular part of my AA group, who moved to a distant city. Several years later he returns, only to find but few left of his old friends. But those who DO remember him are all over him with handshakes, hugs, smooches, and invites for breakfast, lunch, dinner, what have you. He is even offered a place to stay.

THAT'S what it is like when musicians congregate, who have wandered apart for a time, doing gigs in different locales, or traveling, or cruise gigging, or just been laying low. It is a wonderful feeling, difficult to 'splain unless ya "been there"!

All that being over with by 5 PM Sunday, I felt nervous--for no reason. Then it dawned on me, I'd missed my regular meetings two days straight. So, on the way home, I stopped in the 'Club 24' and attended a 5:30 meeting. Fellow bloggers, your steveroni was happy as a recently escaped butterfly. And I'm still bubbling over with gratitude, that no matter the time--morning, noon, or night--there is always a meeting just concluding, or just beginning. Just as sure as there is a blogger on the Internet!

Somewhere in this town there is always a place for me to walk in and "know that I am HOME". A place where some will smile and say, "What are YOU so happy about"? And they will listen to my story-of-the-moment. During the meeting they will be quiet while I share, and at least pretend they are listening! After the meeting they will ask questions, or answer some. And I am sober. And I feel love...and loved! How GOOD is the God Who brought me here to these people!

steveroni