ONE WEDDING

THE WEDDING: HOW IT IS
Perspective of a violin player

We may hear people discuss their weddings, and some will say, "We went to a Justice of the Peace, just had a generic wedding." Another, "well, they had just an 'ordinary' wedding." Or a "regular wedding."

I am a violin player, and have played for literally hundreds of weddings over a fifty-year block of time. Never EVER has a single one of them been what I'd call "standard". Every wedding is as unique as its celebrants.

(Once I asked a well-dressed guy if he was the celebrant. He, a Rabbi, taught me that he was the officiant, the bride and groom are the celebrants!)

As you might have guessed, this preliminary stuff IS leading somewhere...where? I don't know! But, each time I play for this ceremony, I am so overcome with the seriousness, the solemnity, spirituality, the vows, the joy, tears, and yes, the tensions and stressfulness and all the other emotions and legalities which form the lifetime partnership agreements entered into on this occasion. And the music.


A REAL WEDDING

Couple months ago A visitor at my early AA meeting announced he was a musician. So we talked a bit after the meeting, and exchanged numbers, I told him I played a fiddle. This past week he called to ask if I'd play at his wedding, at a church in a town north of Naples. I said, Yep! For regular people, $250, for 'good' friends in my AA home group, FREE, and for acquaintances in AA $50. He said OK.

My job was to play for about half an hour before the ceremony, then play as the bride walked down the aisle. I asked what to play for the bride's walk? She had told him "Anything." I love to hear those words, because, after all, who knows better what sounds on a particular instrument will please her guests, more than the violin player?

I did not realize he had hired bagpipes ("Oh my God, let this chalice pass from me..."), two guitars and a country vocalist. And everyone was doing sound checks while I'm playing right there at the altar. Finally one of the minister-guys stopped the strumming and piping.

So I played some stuff...been doing this for so many years, I don't use music, just play tunes, whatever comes into my head. Usually it fits pretty good. And I was amplified, which helps in a big venue.

After some short time I spotted about a dozen little children sitting, not together, in the first few rows of pews (What an ungodly word...PEW?), so I played "It's a Small World". Guess what, these little kids started softly singing the song, one girl, 2 feet high, got out into the aisle and danced...delighting all the wedding guests--and ME!

Grooms and "officiant" walked down the aisle to the altar steps, stood right by me. and then, the bride stood at the rear door, ready to enter!

Here I digress a minute: At that moment a tune came into my head as if 'sent' there. Flex? Angel? Is that you? This tune was taken from a String Quartet by Schubert. It had been inspired by a man and a woman who had married as teenagers, separated, divorced, and lived separate married lives, each with large families.

Though more than fifty years had lapsed, each had secretly still loved--and never forgot--the other. Their spouses had died. A chance meeting at a funeral of a mutual friend brought the widow and widower face-to-face.

Tears began to flow, as they slowly felt through air for the other. When they embraced, it was as if they'd never parted. They never left each other, holding on for dear and precious life. They were remarried within ten days. This music was played as they made their way slowly down the aisle, almost holding up one another. It was beyond magnificent beauty, the ambiance of the whole affair. United at last!

Back to the present:

As the bride began her walk, with her father at her side, I played this very same sweet old classical melody, muted and miked, and my violin had not sounded so wonderful since Easter Sunday morning. As the attractive smallish young bride approached, I thought to myself, what a fortunate girl. She is marrying her man AFTER he got sober! They can grow together in a loving household, being nice to each other.

I was still playing, and ended just as the bride stopped, about five feet from me. She looked and smiled so prettily in my direction and mouthed the words, at the same time whispering them, in a stage whisper, "That was beautiful!"

Ya want to see a violin player cry? I was scheduled to leave, and so I got out of there before anyone could notice the wet on my cheeks.

I guess the whole point is that without my having found Alcoholics Anonymous a long time ago, I never would have experienced such a tender loving moment (for me), and would never have even thought to play special pieces for special people. I would not have seen the children dance and heard them hum the tune I was playing.

I am just so grateful for the Power which I feel in the rooms of AA, and for the people at daily meetings, and for my peeps, the bloggers.

I have discovered that the answer to so many questions is found in one word: Love! For without love, I have naught but a hole where would have been my heart.

In LOVE and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

BUMPER STICKERS YES OR NO

WILL THAT STICKER STICK?

The "Goodfellow" said:

"Who do these people think they are, putting stickers all over their vehicles, saying to the world, "I am a recovering alcoholic"? That triangle-enclosed circle is nothing more than that. And..."Easy Does It"...who, while driving and fighting the traffic, needs to read THAT trash?

Back when I got sober, we did not advertise.It's a program of attraction, not promotion.

I just don't know what's happening to AA anymore...it's just not like I remember it."

I heard the previous statements said by a self-designated AA guru long-timer, at a recent morning meeting. I remember wondering what business of his it was WHAT I put on my bike. He was making Tradition points, "Attraction rather than promotion", and "Anonymity" particularly. However, more and more I'm letting those kinds of remarks bounce right off my "easily bruised, ultra-sensitive, self centered" Psyche.

A week or so later, the following incident occurred, REALLY:

Coming back to Naples on my bike last night, from an out-of-town wedding, at which I played violin, I was stopped at a red light, and an "older" pickup truck pulled right along side me. "Older" means c.1980. The driver looked to me like he would be at home--as a brand new member--at any of our early morning meetings. He needed more and cleaner shirt, and less--and cleaner--hair...everywhere! And he spoke to me:

"Hey, I almos' din't see ya." I nodded. He continued, "Ya wanna yeller vest? It'll he'p keep ya safe!" Again, I nodded. He threw at me a not-too-clean (or sober!) nearly- yellow vest, the type of which which is worn by many highway workers. At this long light on a busy, busy six-lane roadway, he went on talking (yelling) to me.

"I saw your triangle-and-circle emblem, and figgered you was AA, and then I saw the bumper sticker which reads "SOBER" (Thank you, Scott W!) on your bike's rear tire guard, then I KNEW you was an "OK" guy. I used to be in the "Double A", but it didn't work for me, but you people were sure good to me, and I'm returning the favor. END OF STORY!

Whatever works peeps. and as long as I have a sponsor, I'm working the Steps, doing Service, sponsoring, loving God, AA, my family, my peeps, my AA friends, my meetings, I am in good shape. And as long as I maintain my spiritual condition, I'll be OK. And as long as I'm OK, I am able to love LIFE, and I'm allowed to love YOU!

In LOVE and Service,
Sincerely,
Steve E.

TWO SHIPS--TWO GUYS

SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT

October 26-November 2, 2008, Prayer girl and I went on what was my first cruise, a seven-night sailing aboard the Freedom of the Seas. On the balcony during dark nights, I sat gazing out into the blackness beyond the deck railing. Far across the rolling sea I saw a hotel of lights, sparkling like stars on the water's edge.

It was another passenger liner heading the opposite direction. And I thought to myself, "So this is what's meant by 'Two Ships passing in the night'"...what a sight! Six thousand people here, and just across the water, five thousand. Two complete cities noiselessly passing each other in the night. I could write a blong on that, but for an occurrence of Saturday morning:

The following is about two strangers passing each other like ships passing in the night. Stopping only for a bit of chatting, each was allowed to delve deeply into the psyche of the other. Each was allowed to be helped by the other.

At an early morning meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous I met a guy from Cleveland. He and I talked for about 20 minutes. In that short span of time we learned a lot about one another.

He knows more about me and my life in a few minutes than my brother or sisters know about me in 65-70 years! We treated ourselves to 20 minutes of non-stop talking. We were two ships passing in the night. We well might never see each other again.

But while we were talking, establishing a thread of friendship, I could sense, could feel, the Presence of God or something Spiritual arising around us. All other chatter in the room was beyond hearing, it was like we were in a vacuum, trading thoughts of recovery and sobriety.

And there, a certain happiness arose also between us. I found myself smiling, even after I got on my scooter outside, and revved out of the parking lot. God is truly a Good God. He allowed me to enjoy these moments of a happy, chance meeting, and an opportunity to gain another small piece of self-knowledge.

What a difference a few choice moments can produce in the lives of two men. Two men who together simply reach out and let their lives be touched by one another, responding with honesty and openness.

HERE IS THE REAL MIRACLE: This kind of "chance" meeting happens millions of times a week, all over the world in recovery societies, in AA. This is definitely a WE program. I cannot do it, but we can. People meeting each other, sharing, learning, helping, enjoying, staying sober together--this is the essence of AA. This is why I am here.

I am certainly not afraid to die. I AM afraid of living...like that again. For me, I KNOW that as long as I stay close to you Peeps, I shall remain safe. Thank you God. Let's ALL stay sober this Sunday.
All day!

In LOVE and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

Gratitude

TIME FOR SOME WRITTEN GRATITUDE

I am so grateful:

...That yesterday I sought an amend from the administrator of another online recovery community, and ended up realizing it was I who had to make the amend.

...To report that the admin let me simmer ever so gently, almost without me knowing what went down.

...To know that a 'right' motive, honest discourse, and the whispered movement of the spirit of my Higher Power, are all it takes to melt my hardened heart, and heal a rift between two or more people.

...For sandals all sewed up again...cobbler, cobbler!

...For a Gold cross that's real gold, and real cross.

...For Aspirin.

...Modern communication.

...First Grade teacher, Sister Rose Gertrude.
I never since have met a Gertrude, nor been
in the First Grade, nor had as fine a teacher.

...For hormone shot every 84 days.

...For the Cyberknife.

...For my family--wife and our children.

...For blogging and bloggers where EVER you are.

...For my "special" peeps and our love--it works both ways, gang. And I thrive on it, believe me!

...For Night

...For Light

...A great sponsor, sober 30 years, and my age.

...For a new laptop I shall order tomorrow. YIPEEEE!

...For snow, anywhere but here. Send photos!

...For sleep, which is imminent........Thank you for being here.

In LOVE and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

(FRIDAY) REALLY LOVE?

"The greatest thing....You'll ever learn
Is just to love....And be loved--In return"
--eden ahbez

IS IT REAL? YES, IT'S REAL!

"So how do you become real? By looking, seeing, becoming sensitive to all creation. Do this and you'll become real yourself. You won't have to work at being loving. Love will grasp you in its warm embrace.

Can a rose withhold its fragrance from the bad and give it only to the good? Can a lamp shine only on the kind and compassionate and withhold its light from evildoers? Can a tree withhold its shade from the evil ones and give it only to the doers of good? No. And as the poet Kabir says, "Even if it is cut down, if it is a sweet-smelling tree, it will leave its scent on the ax."

Stories abound to illustrate the mystery of love. For example, consider the soldier who asks to go search for one of his wounded buddies. And the commander says to him, "No, permission denied. If you go out, you might be killed, and we don't even know if the man is alive." However, the soldier goes out anyway and when he comes back, he has the body of his buddy in his arms, but he himself has been mortally wounded.

Exasperated, the commander says to him, "Now do you see how stupid that was? Now I've lost both of you." But the soldier gasps, "No. When I got there, Joe was still barely alive and he said to me, 'Bill, I knew you'd come.'"

How can you explain that kind of illogical thinking except in terms of the mystery of love?"

--Anthony De Mello "Praying naked" P. 109 Becoming Real

In LOVE and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

Hopeless, Helpless, and Happiness

Pammie, Note: "Cookie" Meeting Tonight at Naples group.

HOPELESS, TO HAPPY!

Ya know, I am finding that the more meetings I attend of Alcoholics Anonymous, the more opportunities arise where I might serve. Instead of lurking in the rear row of seats once--or three times--a week, and gaining nothing, I stay not only sober, but remain a "part of" your world of happy, recovering ex-drunks!

Imagine: (Big Book, Forward to 1st Edition) ..."from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body"...to..."remaining a 'part of' your world of happy, recovering ex-drunks!" (Steve E. one paragraph up from here *) As I meditate on these distantly-related, almost opposing quotes, God enters my picture. As Maker of all that is seen and unseen He is visioned. HOPELESSNESS was seen, and HAPPY, RECOVERING EX-DRUNKS is seen. But all the in-between stuff, the Spirit moving ever so slowly through you and into me, and back again; through your life, and into mine, and back again--was and is the realm of the UNSEEN.

And I thank God, and you people for my seen and unseen existences prior to, and during my second life, this new life of--and in--sobriety.

YOU WERE ONLY FOOLIN' (YOURSELF)

This short story was inspirationally remembered from a remark by Mary LA (click!) that she hid empty liquor bottles in her bedroom, and yet others where she would see them as she arose before breakfast. My story:

There was a time--and this I do remember--that I was so positive I'd run out of booze, that I kept a closet full of cases of full quarts of Vodka, Bourbon, Scotch, and Gin. While preparing myself for work, I'd take a swig (long pull, or gulp) from each bottle, until I was satisfied.

And then I methodically filled each of those quarts (minus 4 oz.) with water, until I got all the way to the last one. In this way, I guaranteed myself spirits for a longer period of time, and saved money.

But truly, it was neither money nor guarantees. All that mattered to me was that each morning, I'd check my closet first thing, and find ALL the bottles filled to the brim. Sheer JOY, euphoria! It just never occurred to me that...I mean...Ummmmm...WHO was I kidding?

Now I can say with personal knowledge and with truth, that "Some are sicker than others"!

Real, real, sick-a-roni
Who is seemingly getting better!
And, in LOVE and service,
Sincerely,
Steve E.

ZZZZzzzzzzz!

(Click here, for) Jessie, I feel embarrassed,
and honored at the same time. Receiving
this award means a lot to me. It tells of
Hope--in the face of heavily tilted odds..that
Hope which God gives through His children,
one to the other. And it is here we get Hope,
and we give Hope... through our blogs and comments.
Thank you, Blog-Friend and More!

WORD OF THE DAY: "ZZZZzzzzzzz!"

Man-o-war! The cars are still filling up the three-and-four-lane roadways at 5:30-6:30 AM, which are times I am biking to a meeting. So here I am, before many of you are awake--well, that would include me, even though I'm functioning! I'm surrounded by behemoths, riding through the fog of exhausts, and finally I do push my way through the mazes, to the front of the pack.

And I be the leader of all that behind me, and I'm happy as a Lark singing overhead. Yes, guys, happy! I'm on my way to an early morning dose of friendship, fun, laughs, sadness, reflection, serious moments: a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

During the AA meetings, when chairpersons suggest "turn off your cell phones", I usually do not bother. Nobody EVER calls me on my cell at 6 or 7 AM. Well, from now on, it will be programmed to "buzz, shimmy, and shake".

How embarrassing that was, to hear my cell loudly play Beethoven's great Ninth Symphony, while someone weakly and tearfully was sharing how she was raped as a child...by her father and two brothers. Well, I'm used to being a clod, but I felt a sorrowful sadness for the girl, who was spilling out her deepest, darkest, to a room full of eighty alkies.

The cell call was from a mother of a 31-yr-old 'child', a son who had just left jail, and was in need of his clothing--and his medications and cell phone, which she wished I would carry to him. She wanted to NOT SEE HIM. Mom was so tired of same-old, same-old stuff, time after time. So we made the pick-up, drop-off arrangements. I had not met either mother OR 'child'--a definite druggee (Whoopeee!), prior to this day.

Meeting lasted until 8 AM. I had a rehearsal at 9:30, then was contracted to play a funeral mass at 11 AM. All this was after 4.5 hours' sleep--it is catching up with me, peeps. Got home after noon, read a half dozen blogs, commenting in my sleep! Please forgive some of my stupid comments, if they do not make sense -grin!-delete!

After some phone calls, a nap (Ha! Now you got the secret!) and supper, here we are, 9 PM. And guess where? Blogging, of course!

Bess, the brain-tumor girl is home from the hospital, plans to attend a 7 AM meeting and I'll be there with a smile for her...well, that's what I DO! She thanks you for your prayers. She may have surgery at end of May, wants to finish school.

Tonight I have yet to file an extension for IRS taxes 2008, and set up two packets of music to play for weekend masses, plus another funeral...NEXT Wednesday. Since I'm the only violinist in our church of 8,000+ people, I'm just gonna figure out a way to play at my own funeral.

An AA musician (pianist/recording artist) here died not long ago. He had set up his own "Celebration of Life" music, which he had composed and performed (CD's) in a very large church. I thought it kinda weird. In fact, it made folks uneasy. I left, and became first in line for coffee, and goodies!

Peeps, I am SO fortunate. God has surrounded me these past years with many people who are supportive, giving, and loving. He has surrounded me also with many people who NEED support, giving, and love. And life has become one wonderful, giant, action-packed movie, in which I get to play a major part. You all are stars in my film of Life--that's what makes it "Wonderful"!

I promise...a more interesting blog Thursday. OK?

In LOVE and (yawwwn!) service.
Sincerely.
Steve E.

WAITING ONE HOUR

BUMPER STICKER COURTESY OF (Click) SCOTT W. ON REAR OF MY BIKE IT LOOKS LOT BETTER THAN PHOTOS. SCOTT W, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!

ONE TWENTY-FOURTH OF YESTERDAY

Yesterday I had some time to wait for a 'happening'. There is plenty to do, but, being a full-fledged blogger by now, you all know where I sat my behind!

And I realized this past week was so busy for me that some of your blog entries got missed. So I spent one hour clicking back through the past few days to catch up. I commented on a few oldies, and as I'm reading your out-of-this-world beautiful stuff (AND the comments), I began to cry--right out of the blue (lips, and all!). I realized how important 'comments' are, to the overall blogging experience! How you all are here to help one another, either directly, or by simply and wonderfully reporting how you are living sober, One-Day-At-A-Time.

These tears--yes they're still flowing--are of gratitude. I'm once again overwhelmed with gratefulness for your blogs, for my having found you peeps last summer. I'm thankful for my personal growth which is a result of many events, one of which being God's grace as it appears daily on my monitor, beginning early in the mornings.

My days begin with Pammie, Mary Christine, dAAve, Linda, Vicarious Rising, Shadow, Mary LA, Syd, Gabi, Kristin, AnnieK, Tyra, Banana Girl, PG, Hope, Atiyanna, Tracey, Jim, Ed, Jessie, Sara, Patty, Lou, Mark, Clean and Sober, Scott, Bill, Scott W., MILE 191, Just Be Real, SponsorPants, Socha, Sochie and many others, who are right here on my computer desk nearly every morning. I'm talking morning, like 4:30-5:30 AM, guys. What a group.

I'd probably not even get out of bed if it were not to check who has recently blogged and/or commented. Ya know what? I think I'm SICK--addicted to what messages you Peeps have for me/us each day. After meeting some of you face-to-face at an annual BBQ mid-June 2009 at Annie's home (near St Louis), I figure I'll become somewhat cured. (I remind myself of a guy who switches from Scotch to beer, to cure himself of alcoholism!)

I'm trying to discover a point for this blog entry. Guess it is a statement that I yam here to stay, and stay here I yam. Seriously, I've never found an AA 'home' in which the residents are more trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, cheerful, clean and irreverently humorous. You bloggers, Alanon and AA, so freely give of yourselves, what was freely given to you. And I have been often the recipient. How can that ever be repaid? ONLY by service of some kind.

Sure, I pretend to know stuff, but whatever I have, was given to me. Whatever I write, I heard or read somewhere in our literature. If something is amiss, it is because I let my own brain insert itself into where it did not belong. Progress, not perfection: how many times have I used that line as an excuse, instead of as simple truism.

I may not always and forever work this program as I ought. But make no mistake; I LOVE our Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. I LOVE our whole AA program, the first 164 pages in every edition of our beautiful Big Book. I LOVE my God Who gave us this program, using two real alcoholics, really hopeless drunks, to show us that He can write straight, using a crooked pen. I LOVE Service work. I LOVE AA meetings. I LOVE you peeps, my most favorite people in the world, and I've not met a single one of you. I LOVE my family, and my wife. And I LOVE life! And I am just SO GRATEFUL! Thank you, all for reading my heart, the contents of my very soul.

I must read again Anthony De Mello's meditations on THE WAYS TO LOVE. Maybe every day, like Jessie! De Mello helps to keep me straight.

In LOVE and Service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

OUR BLOG FAMILY?

MY ANONYMOUS BLOG FAMILY:
ONLY THE FACES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

Please, in your prayers, mention Bess,
a dear friend of mine, who is in the hospital.
She IS in AA, but not (yet) a blogger.
She has an operable brain tumor.

TO MY SELF I'M TRUE
--AND TO OTHERS, TOO!

The thought of one day (soon in some cases!) meeting face-to-face with blog peeps excites me, really. A LOT! Being sober has given me a desire to meet new people, to share ideas alike or different from my own. I am a very outgoing person since being a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. 'Overbearing' is a more likely correct word -grin!

On the other hand--at the same time--I began to feel apprehensive about meeting some of you peeps. Are you really who I think you are? And does it even matter. Well it would matter, yes. If you are not who I 'know', who I 'see', who I believe, I will be completely disillusioned. One whole minute each day that thought makes me shudder. Look in a mirror? No! I AM me, and so that is not my fear.

A fellow blogger in a recent Email mentioned to me that his experiences in meeting many online friends finally face-to-face, proved to him that almost all of us ARE just like we blog. In other words, blogs of a loosely knit community of our type, expressing a common illness, and a common solution, well, our writings are a fairly accurate assessment of who we are, what we are, what we seek and how we think, as individuals.

As months roll by (do they ever roll!) I find that what I read that first day on here, is essentially what I'm reading today. I mean that, even with ups and downs, people are not different from who they really ARE. That sounded weird, but I read it again, and "I'll stand by it". Fact is we do not, as bloggers, represent ourselves as anybody else. We are all Popeye's "I yam whut I yam", peeps. Mostly!

And so, back to that deep-in-the-gut excitement--more like enthusiasm--I am again experiencing, I guess it will remain until the moments happen, those moments of meeting my FAMILY of YOU! And that's just the way I feel...it is what I KNOW!

God blesses you all. I do.
And God LOVES you all. So do I.
Sincerely,
Steve E.

AA GIFTS: TOO MUCH TO HANDLE?

dAAve Saturday April 11 inspired
this picture: youll see why...
When ya visit dAAve

BLOGGERS! Boys and Girls. Hear ye hear ye! A new guy has come into our presence a couple days ago. Since I believe there are no accidents in God's world, please welcome blogger Jim at "Alive and Smiling". We have been in touch by Email, and he seems like an OK sort. He is ONE OF US, and that is why I am introducing him in this veddy veddy formal manner!
--Steve E.


I MUST NOT ALLOW THE THINGS
WHICH AA HAS GIVEN ME
TO TAKE ME AWAY
FROM AA

I used to walk in a public place thinking the crowds of people there hated me. What a shock to find they didn't even know I existed! Of course, I never looked eyeball-to-eyeball with a single soul. My eyes were planted on the floor, venturing only so far as the next step might take me.

Since I never looked up, how did I know you hated me? How could I EVER entertain a notion that you didn't care one whit for that guy (me) in a dirty trench coat, and old tattered shoes? I did not SEE you, therefore you did not see ME! Maybe that's the summation here. If I do not see you, you will not see me! As if ANYONE ever gave a Royal F'CK either way.

Well, all that changed--over time, not in a blinding flash. In Alcoholics Anonymous, I recall certain events which 'brought me out from my shell'.

1. I was asked to stand up in a room full of 70 people, and say "I'm an alkie, etc., and I had my last drink -insert how many days", etc. I recall that first "desire" chip. They made me come up to the front. How NEAT! That was me, learning how to face people and how to utter 7 words: "I'm...I'm...I'm Steve. I'm an alcoholic."

2. After I was free of alcohol for several months, someone asked me to read "How It Works" out of our Big Book. I recall shaking plenty. I'm sure no bird would have alit on a branch which was shaking so.

3. Some weeks later (three months) a lady named Mary gave me a 24-Hr Book (Hazeldon) and I have had that book ever since, and I have used it ever since. It is well-worn. Mary went out soon after that, never did make it back. That's what happens. I become ashamed. I am, after all, addicted to alcohol. What low self-esteem! What PRIDE!

4. After about seven months in AA, I was asked to chair a meeting. I prepared for this as if I were defending my Thesis. It was truly a farce, but I did learn a lot from the experience...do not try to memorize ANYTHING, the Lord's Prayer...anything!

5. Finally, it became time to "share" (and maybe this is why I do not like the word "share") my Experience, Strength and Hope, from the microphone. I blubbered like an idiot. That is NOT "humility" talking! But I got through it.

I did not mention tending the coffee bar at the 24-Hr Club, Twelfth Stepping, emptying the trash, setting up the chairs, doing the dishes, playing doorman (my favorite job today!) as tricks you AA people did to bring me into your warm bosom, and confer on me sobriety and willingness.

Now, that I fear no one, nor anything; now that I am FREE; Now that I can blog, write, ride, talk to whomever, wherever, and whenever; now that I have a checkbook and a couple bucks in my pocket; now that I am outgoing, happy, and blest with an attitude of gratitude; now that my enthusiasm for this program is known--I cannot let ANY of these gifts from God take over my life, rule my thinking, or guide my feet.

Since God has given me these gifts, I must use them ONLY for His greater honor and glory. That all being written, I hereby bestow upon all who are reading this my love, and when we all stay sober today, I can smile at the end of this day, and say that I did what I could to make someone happy today. And it IS worth it!

In LOVE and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

I MUST NOT ALLOW THE THINGS
WHICH AA HAS GIVEN ME
TO TAKE ME AWAY
FROM AA