WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE ANYWAY???

When God is in charge--WATCH OUT! At a 7 AM meeting recently I was sitting next to a guy who was obviously a visitor. He had a foreign accent as if he was from North carolina, or even worse...Georgia--grin!  We talked a little before the meeting, and got along fine.


As he shared on the topic, he let all 84 of us know that he couldn't find the 24-Hour club in the darkness of early morning. He said a bike sped past his car, sporting a one-word sign on the back fender. It spelled the word SOBER! He decided to follow, on the chance the biker would be going to a meeting.


The photo above is my Suzuki scooter's rear fender--I'm the guy he followed. And here we were, sitting NEXT to each other in a very crowded room of sober alcoholics at a meeting. He didn't even know it was me who he followed. And where else at 7 AM would you find a bunch of women and men discussing how great it is to wake up withour puking, and without a severe hangover headache...and laughing about it all?


To tie this brief piece up neatly, there is a punch line: the bumper sticker, SOBER, was mailed out about a year ago, free of charge to any who requested it, by a fellow blogger from Houston, Texas.  Peeps, ya just NEVER KNOW! Right? (It is the third time this has happened!)

Hey Peeps, I wish you all could pray with me/for me today, and for a special intention. Thanks, to whoever can do that! 


Love, and PEACE!

DANCE THE CHARLESTON (SC)

Picture on left is 1865 Civil War Ruination of Charleston, South Carolina. Photo on right is 2005-new Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge.


"LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU"

Somehow I feel very special today. Yes god IS smiling (He always smiles, He knows something we do not). Two days ago I stopped to visit here in Charleston SC. The one blogger-person I know who is present is Jessie. She IS A present, sent from God. Syd also lives here but is out of town. We will connect next time, I suppose (read: hope!).

So, since Friday evening at 6:30, I have been to four AA meetings, a beginner (a REAL "beginner" meeting, next to a Salvation-Army-type house--YOU know what I mean!), a speaker, and two discussion groups.

Jessie has been like a personal taxi service for me these three days. Sunday morning she will pick me up for mass, where she is the "Reader". Saturday, we "toured" the historic Charleston SC area--mostly afoot. My only pair of shoes--sandals--are about ready for a Confederate cemetery. It was so much fun, stopped for a 3 PM lunch (is that a "drunch"--dinner+lunch?). There was an ice cream store which barred our way, so we had to "pay the price" and lick some cones. It IS a tough life, peeps. Jessie, Shawn (her husband), and two guys named Rick and Simon, have been ultra helpful with their support and kindness, and fun and serious conversations. Some of you can just "hear" us...I know.

And yesssss, I am being and have been entertained here, Peeps! Were it not for a dead battery on my scooter (yeah, on a holiday weekend!!), with the attending un-ability to start,

I am at the mercy of these dear friends, who have accepted me as the "family" we all are. Until this trip I had only HEARD of "service", much of which is/was "lip service" (on my part?). Now I realize that we ARE in the service business, the SERVICE INDUSTRY...in the service of the God Who gave me/us these wonderful Twelve Steps to sobriety, peace, and eventually LOADS of happiness.

All professional help for my battery problem is "closed until Tuesday". But I have this feeling that it will be resolved Monday.

I may still be here until Tuesday morning, on the advice of my "bestest" recovery-friend in Richmond. She (VERY experienced in these matters) claims that holiday travel (like Labor Day) on a scooter is brutal--dangerous. She (well, "she" is Alix, of course) spent time on line with me to explain just what I need to do to get the scooter rolling again, and I appreciate SO much her caring support, and friendly advice.

Please pray for her, and for me, and for the families of ALL of us in recovery throughout this wonderful world. Did I ever ever mention that when I first arrived on the "www" scene, I immediately became the "analogist" and put words to (www): "What a Wonderful World". that was in 1994, and I still feel that appropriateness.

Just received a call from Jessie, they will take me to church "early, will that be alright?"

Well, early for me is fine for church or AA meetings. The one place I never want to be early is my own funeral. The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous has allowed me to be already more than THIRTY YEARS LATE for that event. How grateful can one be?

Stay gratefully sober with me today--please!
Peace.
Steve

GOING AWAY, BUT NOT TODAY

GEOGRAPHY LESSON:
Name the States

RIDE 'N GLIDE

Most of you who read this already know that in a couple weeks I will be riding my scooter (alone) up the east coast from Naples, FL to somewhere north of Miami to St Augustine, Jacksonville, and to a final destination...Richmond Virginia. I'm leaving either August 22, 23, or 24 (Sat, Sun, or Monday.)

After 2 weeks--for the return , I plan to follow I-85 line to Charlotte North Carolina, then to Charleston, South Carolina. From there, back to home, Naples, FL. I have no route planned for that. Maybe through Orlando ("around" Orlando?). I'd like to "do" Mt Dora.

A lot of this ride will be on the "Blue" highways. My GPS will take care of that. And, of huge benefit is that time is not critical. I'm gonna get there when I "get there".

If you are a new reader, I am just coming off my Freshman Year of blogging. And I'm learning. Still learning. BOY, am I "learning". Sheeesh!

For this upcoming scooter trip, I have to admit to a little fear, mainly in my lack of planning. I know I have to get a list of dealers for my Suzuki Scooter, I'll need an oil change. I AM getting a GPS, a couple saddle bags (I think?) a jacket with "armor" (pads around shoulders, elbows, etc.)...and I 'want' a nice tiny camera--I'm looking.

Also, using my laptop, I'll find AA meetings wherever I stop. Have to buy a newspaper to find out where I am??? --grin! (Yesterday's blog!)

So if any Peeps between Naples, FL, Richmond, VA, Charlotte NC, Mt Dora FL, are interested in meeting a sober guy on a scooter, let me know, at fiddlemn@gmail.com. That is the address I'll be receiving mail on the road also. If anyone responds, I will send you my cell number, in case you want to alert me to an AA meeting along the way.

Many years I scoffed (?) at those who said they wished to "find out who they are". Well, I think it's about time for me to trudge that road. I hope to return in several weeks "with a whole new outlook" on life. (sigh)...ANOTHER one? This all sounds so selfish to me as I write it now. But I am praying that God will ride with me and guide me along the way to unselfish happenings.

Another purpose of my ride is to meet a few blogger-friends face-to-face, take my enthusiasm to meetings, and blog my daily thoughts--BIG deal, huh?

An unexpected treat is that I shall visit and hold my first Great-Grandchild. (It) is being born right about.......NOW!

ADDENDUM: 8PM First Great Grandson named Michael Patrick BORN

Peeps, I'm hoping for some spiritual recovery here, so if you feel so inclined, please add me to one of your prayerful thoughts through the day.

"Let us be sober today.
Let us have some peace today.
Let us love today."
Steve

NOTE: As "Riding Day" gets closer, I'll letcha all know more about my plan which has not yet been formulated.

AA MEETING BEFORE BREAKFAST

"OUR FATHER....."

WANT A JOB?
GO TO A MEETING!

My 7AM meeting Thursday was interesting--to me. It is speaker plus discussion The girl speaker told of how being a GSR (she is new at it) was so good for her. A whole new level of activity which many AA members do not realize exist. She mentioned her service several times, and how it has enhanced her program--immensely!

Well, it came time for me to talk--I couldn't hold it back. I told the roomful of alkies that for several years I had been "considering" "trying" service on the District level (as if there are 'levels' -grin!). Just like the guy who sits in back, and says "I'm just here to audit, I don't think I'm a real alcoholic." That's the way I was about being a GSR (General Services Representative). So I told them I had received that final "push" I needed this morning, and I was going to ask my Home Group if they'd like me to assume that office.

Please understand that I have been in AA service in the past, many years ago. This is simply a return to service, filling a certain emptiness in my life, and that of my group. And so I am familiar with the benefits...

We have not had a GSR for several years. I do believe it is a necessary function of AA, so that a group knows what is going on around the counties. Also so that the other groups know what is going on in MY group.

Well, I'll get to the punch line here. The chairperson of my group--the "cookie" meeting--was in the room. Polly is her name, maker of the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. She shared and during her short speech, she yelled out at me..."YOU'RE HIRED!" Of course, everyone laughed because they knew I had just talked myself into a job which not many are standing in line for, GSR.

Just wanted to let you all know what is happening to this old guy, who seems to never want to quit. I have seen not a few, but many, MANY guys stay around for my length of time, wither, dry up, blow away, and die. Not drunk...but not really happy.

I want to be happy, I want to live, I want to do what our Big Book tells us..."We absolutely insist on enjoying life." So long as God gives me health, and after, I intend to live my life for Him...so much of my life was pure sewage. Alcoholics Anonymous is the way I can best do this, is the way I see it today.

Tonight at that same "cookie" meeting I get to tell the traditional weekly joke, and this one is really funny. I may blog it the next time I'm too tired to sit without laying my head on the keyboard. Two hundred people will be there...I hope there are some cookies left after they all dig in--lots of our peeps there are from treatment centers--but that's another blog also.

Let's all stay sober--with me. We did a good job of that yesterday.

Peace, you all!
Love.
Steve

TRIVIA

We keep up with things here: The standard biblical punishment for adultery was to be stoned in the marketplace, or wherever. More than half of the national population now think that sounds like fun.

DETOX, ANYONE???

D-TOX! A FEW THOUGHTS

Now that it is Friday, I am particularly glad to be home, for it is my night to attend a small meeting at "detox". This is one of our locked areas of room-and-board in Naples where people go to slowly have removed from their bodies (maybe also their minds? No, maybe not!) whatever they were using to make themselves 'feel good'.

Their 'stay' is usually 4-6 days, and so if I see any of them more than once, it would likely be at an AA meeting, or when I pick them up to go to a meeting. A guy asked me this morning (at 6:30 AM) "Why do you go to detox meetings, after you've been sober for 35 years?"

Good question! With all the great wisdom I could muster, I told him, "I really don't know. It's been too long since I've asked myself 'Why' about activities like that. I've finally come to the point where I just do it. Whatever 'it' is.

(LATER) Wait! I DO know why I am drawn to detox for a meeting. That is where it all begins, for some. And I need to witness that beginning stage of "soberism". I have found that, for me, many years of sobriety can create a tendency to become distant from "how it was".

Sure, I attend speaker meetings, I sponsor a couple (three) guys, I get to lots of meetings, at least two a day. Big Book, Steps, and Tradition meetings are a regular part of my diet. Along with some service work, I still find that, for me, nothing, but nothing, brings my disease so close to home, to reality, as a meeting with those suffering in a detox unit.

This is where the hair on my violin bow meets with the strings on my violin. Without that 'meeting' there will be no music played. And so THAT'S why I feel so blest to be allowed to share my ESH with the newest of the new.

Lets go back to: "I've finally come to the point where I just do it. Whatever 'it' is.

NOTE: Sometimes as I look back at a particular 'it', I recall how embarrassed I would have been 20 or 30 years ago, doing the same 'it'. Because not every 'it' is commonly, usually normal. But at my age, at my stage, I just move on, trying to let go and let God take care of the outcome. Frequently I'll pretend I'm "looking" at God, and I'll say (not pretending!), "Are You kidding, God? You want me to do THAT? You want me to say WHAT? 'They' will laugh at me, God!"

But, when that (heavenly? Hmmm?) urge keeps rattling the brain, I finally say, instead of "Why?"...well, I say, "Why not?" And ....away we go.

At the detox tonight were 6 patients, and six of us from outside. Of the six incarcerated, two snored somewhat, one said he never had a drink in his liar--ooops, I meant, in his LIFE! And three seemed as if they figured we'd see them again.

Outside after the meeting, the six of us from AA had another shared thought--we knew we had been where we should have been, at least for one hour, today! Thank You, God. Thank you, AA. Thank you, blogger Peeps!

AND NOW...TRIVIA!

Barnyard hogs kill more people every year than sharks do.
--Taken from L.M. Boyd's Curiosity Shop

In love and service.
Steve E

MEETINGS EVERYWHERE!

MEETINGS, MEETINGS, MEETINGS!

In my copy of our Big Book, page 162, I read, "Some day we hope every alcoholic who journeys will find a fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination."

I am not a 'world traveler', but my annual trips have taken me from Libby, MT to Boca Raton, FL. From Lake City and Montrose, CO to Charleston, WV, and from Cincinnati OH, to Gatlinburg TN, and from Staunton, IL to Maggie Valley, NC. True, I am forgetting places like Macon, GA, Akron. OH, St Augustine, and other towns and cities in Florida.

Why oh why did I leave out the "city of the birth of my recovery", Naples FL? Just passed it by, but it IS my "AA home", now and forever.

AA meetings I readily and easily found in each place--and ALWAYS they were beneficial occasions of giving, receiving, and sharing peace and serenity--and spirituality--for me and others. God has been so good to me, putting people in front of me daily, people who He wishes to use me to help. It does happen, IS happening, every day, more and more...

Here I must say that I have never noticed one single bit of substantive difference in the formats or topics of meetings, great diversity of membership 'Peeps' -grin!, or the serious enthusiasm of AA people everywhere. I have found that we are indeed...ONE! We DO have that 'singleness of purpose' found nowhere else in a "different-in-almost-every-way-imaginable" group of formerly (very) wayward people.

Even most 'religious' people are seldom if ever totally in agreement as to solutions, answers, and program of treatment for their 'issues'.

It is 10:45 PM and maybe tonight I'll get into bed before 11. That will be a 'first' for many weeks, for me.

We are planing to make the last leg of our trip, about 8-9 hour drive, home to Naples, in the morning (Monday). So, if ya get a moment, please say a prayer that God might want us to get there in one piece.

Oh, and thank God for GPS! I could write a Blong about that. What a saving device, saving in miles, and serenity.

TRIVIA

"Catholic priests do not smoke cigars during mass anymore. But they did. Long, long, long ago. Pope urban VIII put a stop to the the practice in first half of the Fifteenth Century."

"Daily Trivia" taken from L.M. Boyd's Curiosity Shop

(I wonder if it was the cigar smoke (instead of incense) on which prayers of the faithful rose heavenward? -grin!)

Peace, and my love is with you tonight, bloggers!
Steve E

THE OVER-EXPOSED VIEW II

From our friend's private top-of-the-mountain retreat: Whether Spring, Summer or Fall, this IS the view from our veranda Thursday morning June 18, 2009. And I am really sorry, I had no intention to deceive anyone. The only photo I had yesterday was a file photo, but I wanted so bad for you to see and share our view. Ego? Maybe. I don't think so.

ON THE AA ROAD IN NORTH CAROLINA

Thursday, a guy needed a ride to a noon meeting. While driving there I asked him how long he had been sober. He answered exactly: "Three months sober.......but I had a sip of wine last night, because my mother would have felt out of place if I didn't join her--and she drinks lots of wine, and I live with her!"

Needless to say, we had an interesting ride to the meeting place--AND a great meeting!

Details are not necessary here, but my gosh, it reminded me of the insanity which IS alcoholism. Partly, it is the mental condition of a person who is paying $1,200 fine for DUI, has lost his license for a year, has been to rehab, and claims (honestly?) to be a real alcoholic, and figures a "sip of wine" is not "drinking".

It was actually FUN talking with this guy, practicing our principles, carrying the message. Prayer Girl was a part of this scenario. The "fun" part was in realizing that another day--AGAIN--God had shown us that our trip IS a part of His plan.

Each day I ask Him (right out of bed, on my knees) to use me if He wishes, to help someone...anyone. And I tell you, He has been busy in our lives this past week. As you might guess--as if you'd even bother--I am no saint! -BIG GRIN! But God doesn't need only saints to do His work. Anyone qualifies, so join in, dive off the high board, at least get wet. Take the risk (whatever that might be) , and reach out to touch someone. It CAN actually be fun! I know this.

WHEN DID YOU HAVE YOUR LAST DRINK?

Thursday after our noon meeting (don't believe I could stay in a group which let meetings go on for a half hour over (my) usual one hour), we drove to Asheville NC, to have a coffee-and-pastry visit with blogger catvibe (or, "cat" as she is called) It was such a neat experience--again--to meet and greet a fellow blogger who I read every day, as one of my favorites. She is a pretty nice (that's "pretty" AND "nice") young lady, and we enjoyed a most favorable couple hours in her company.

At one point, I leaned over and "stage-whispered" to her, "How long you been sober?" She had me repeat the question, as if I had not gotten through to her auditory nerve. So, with patrons nearby, I whispered more loudly, "How long you been sober?" This time she understood me and answered (as if I might be crazy?), "Probably since last night. I drink!" (Holy Sewage!)

All this time I thought we were meeting with another alcoholic, and I had locked us into meeting, of all things--a NORMIE!!! We laughed and laughed about that. It is just so--I want to say--"unique", to meet with a stranger who is really no stranger at all. We joked and all three of us liked one another immediately.

I had walked outside the West Side Bakery for a minute, saw a strange girl alone, and said to her, "Hi, Cat!" She turned and said, "Steve???", and I got a huge hug before we were "properly" introduced-grin! NOTE: This old man likes 'hugs', that part of Step Six is on hold ("...some things we cannot give up...") until I'm on my deathbed. I imagine that even then, yep...even then...........(sigh!)

Needless to say, but I'll say it. We had a wonderful short and sweet visit, Anna, Cat, and I, and we each got to know another human well-worth knowing. Thank You God, again. In gratitude, I sit here now, preparing for whatever God might have in store for us tomorrow. I KNOW it will be something, He might allow us to 'see' it. Maybe?

Hey, bloggers, thank you for visiting my mind today. I certainly hope God blesses you all, with

Peace, and Love.
Steve E

TODAY'S STEVE STUFF

Just how does this thing work? GOOD!

Q. Say, how does this AA program work?
A. Good!

Q. What the heck do you do, since you don't drink?
A. Everything else!


We bought a brand new Toyota RAV 4 yesterday, will pick up today. It has this GPS screen to die for. Then I got to thinking, $28,000 for a GPS, which we have not needed ever before yesterday? (Will they throw in a sun roof, just what "cancer-skin" Steve has always wished for?)

I'm going to a couple AA meetings this morning, it is the best way I know to start my day. Prayer Girl is going with me--her once-a-year foray into early morning AA.

The Peeps there know I'm married, but some of them will think I'm bringing a biker girl friend. So we'll introduce to those who are new.

Today is my favorite of favorites from GOD CALLING, May 16...I marked it 28 years ago. To capsulate this day's message:

"Never weary in prayer. When one day man sees how marvelously his prayer has been answered, then he will deeply, so deeply, regret that he prayed so little.

Prayer changes all. Prayer re-creates. Prayer is irresistible. So pray, literally without ceasing.

Pray until you almost cease to pray, because trust has become so rock-like, and then pray on because it has become so much a habit that you cannot resist it.

And always pray until Prayer merges into Praise. That is the only note on which true prayer should end. It is the Love and Laughter of your attitude towards man interpreted in the Pray and Praise of your attitude towards God"

Later today, I get to play violin at mass. Beautiful Day! Thank you AA. thank you bloggers, thank You God!

Peace, and Love,
Steve E

It Makes a Difference! YESSSS!

Thank you MILE 191 for sending me this award, as it makes me look like I occasionally make a difference in someone's life. It is for what we all wish God will allow us to be used. Love ya, girl, and your blog. Keep Up The Good Work (KUTGW!)

(Sigh!) Another "Gratitude" meeting Sunday morning. I swear, if only people knew how much I LOVED Gratitude meetings, they would not choose that as the topic with such frequency.

I am grateful for people who make a difference in another life, or in others' lives. How great the reward must be for those who help others with no thought of self aggrandizement. (I learned that word yesterday!)

A DIFFERENCE? OR THE SAME?

Yesterday was the first day in six months that I had arranged to pick up a driver-licenseless man named Gene. We were going to the 7AM meeting, and guess what, I overslept! This NEVER happens! So we were a few minutes late.

We then stayed on for the 8 AM. Both were good meetings, the kind Gene needed to hear, but experience has taught me that ya never know what another is going to "hear" in a meeting.

I have blogged about Gene in earlier months, and he has been again struggling this past year--and for about 24 years--to try and stay sober. But a long-term sobriety eludes him still.

After the meetings we went for breakfast. Now, this "breakfast with the boys" is still new stuff for me, but I'm willing to change--a little!

Gene seems this time to be more interested in staying sober. If he drinks again, he has SO much to lose (again!) and I'd be concerned if he'd live long back out there. He's in a halfway house right now, has another job. Gratitude? Maybe.

I'm reflecting that in the past I used to "tell him" everything he should be doing. Today, I just merely sat with him and listened. It's a lot easier that way, and maybe he likes it better also. Who knows? God knows, and only God will keep Gene safe this time--with Gene's cooperation.

We did not talk about love. But it is still there inside me, all this love, just pushing to get out, and DO things. That is one of the attributes of love, I suppose...doing for another, or others.

Good night!
In LOVE and Service,
Sincerely.
Steve E

Cookie Meeting Plus Gratitude List

COOKIE MEETING

Last night's "Speaker-Cookie" meeting featured two long-timer guys. With about 80 years of sobriety between them, it was a surprise to most people that they just gave straight and VERY GOOD AA talks, and did not come downtown to "teach" us how to stay sober.

They are both from my morning home group which meets at 7 AM, and with them came quite a large entourage of "morning" people.

You see, the "Morning" and the "Night" people seldom mix, and so they were surprised to see ME there (my second Home Group) at night.

It is fun for me to be active in two groups. And I have something to offer each group IMO! And of course, my job is to tell a joke--to prove we are not a glum lot. It was a classic, 200 people laughed as I told that old one about the hypnotist. It IS funny! Maybe I'll blog it tomorrow, has anyone NOT heard it?

A HEALTHY LOOK BACK

Items concerning my/our personal health do leak out now and then, e.g., when I ask for prayers, as for a surgery on myself or one close to me. But on the way home from last night's speaker "cookie" (Ummmmm yes, Pam!) meeting, I found myself looking backward again, just for the sake of "being grateful for" a list of health events.

I am SO grateful:

That after having two heart attacks at the ages of 34-35, I have had no recurring heart problems through the years.

That after suffering with phlebitis, and finally the stripping of veins in both legs, I've had only minimal problems since.

That after numerous 'close calls' during certain death-defying behaviors, I'm still alive, and everything works--well, almost everything -grin!

that after severe back injury about 25 years ago, I opted to NOT have surgery, and I've been relatively free of that problem since.

That I found a wonderful doctor who replaced my thumb (ball) joint with wrapped-up tendon (my own), and I have had no problem since on that score.

That when I have problems which produce severe pain, I know a woman, a healer-type, who lays her (extremely hot) hands on me and the healing is nearly always immediate, and permanent. Lady's name is Prayer Girl--I probably should not be blogging this...

That I am careful to whom I tell these things, because even though I make them sound supernatural, they have become quite the ordinary way of life here.

That, at the end of the day, isn't nature itself supernatural; birth, death, bulbs-tulips, acorn-tree, egg-bird, water-life, H.O.W.-sobriety, and much more, maybe everything?

That after prostate cancer two years ago, and the accompanying discomforts (I 'loved' six weeks of daily radiation--it was a chance to do nothing but read, or listen to good music for a period of time each morning).

That modern medicines i.e., periodic hormone shots have kept and will keep me alive and cancer-free for years to come.

That Medicare plus a supplement (AARP) pays those bills.

That last September I had my eyeballs repaired and Restor lenses implanted--and I could FEEL the love and prayers of this group as I lay there in surgery--and can now see well without glasses, for first time in fifty years! What a miracle! Thank you peeps, AA, for sobriety and thank You, God, for faith, Hope, and Trust that "all will be well."

That children being born in this century will experience such changes in their manner of living, that neither they, nor we, dare claim to have a clue.

That there is much more on my Gratitude List, but this "health" stuff is more than enough for now.

In LOVE and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

Hopeless, Helpless, and Happiness

Pammie, Note: "Cookie" Meeting Tonight at Naples group.

HOPELESS, TO HAPPY!

Ya know, I am finding that the more meetings I attend of Alcoholics Anonymous, the more opportunities arise where I might serve. Instead of lurking in the rear row of seats once--or three times--a week, and gaining nothing, I stay not only sober, but remain a "part of" your world of happy, recovering ex-drunks!

Imagine: (Big Book, Forward to 1st Edition) ..."from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body"...to..."remaining a 'part of' your world of happy, recovering ex-drunks!" (Steve E. one paragraph up from here *) As I meditate on these distantly-related, almost opposing quotes, God enters my picture. As Maker of all that is seen and unseen He is visioned. HOPELESSNESS was seen, and HAPPY, RECOVERING EX-DRUNKS is seen. But all the in-between stuff, the Spirit moving ever so slowly through you and into me, and back again; through your life, and into mine, and back again--was and is the realm of the UNSEEN.

And I thank God, and you people for my seen and unseen existences prior to, and during my second life, this new life of--and in--sobriety.

YOU WERE ONLY FOOLIN' (YOURSELF)

This short story was inspirationally remembered from a remark by Mary LA (click!) that she hid empty liquor bottles in her bedroom, and yet others where she would see them as she arose before breakfast. My story:

There was a time--and this I do remember--that I was so positive I'd run out of booze, that I kept a closet full of cases of full quarts of Vodka, Bourbon, Scotch, and Gin. While preparing myself for work, I'd take a swig (long pull, or gulp) from each bottle, until I was satisfied.

And then I methodically filled each of those quarts (minus 4 oz.) with water, until I got all the way to the last one. In this way, I guaranteed myself spirits for a longer period of time, and saved money.

But truly, it was neither money nor guarantees. All that mattered to me was that each morning, I'd check my closet first thing, and find ALL the bottles filled to the brim. Sheer JOY, euphoria! It just never occurred to me that...I mean...Ummmmm...WHO was I kidding?

Now I can say with personal knowledge and with truth, that "Some are sicker than others"!

Real, real, sick-a-roni
Who is seemingly getting better!
And, in LOVE and service,
Sincerely,
Steve E.

WHAT A DAY

A RARE MOOD?

What a Day This Has Been
What A Rare Mood I'm In....

...and something tells me to stop right there, before I begin to get into trouble. Please do not ask me why! However...this HAS been an awesome day for me--Wednesday March 18, 2009. It began in the usual habitual manner, got up at 4:40 AM, made it to the 6 AM, stayed for the 7 meeting. About 80 people attended the Big Book meeting at 7. And when they asked for any "annuals" (meaning sober anniversaries) I got to tell them, "Yeah, ME! 35 years". Prayer Girl, was sitting on the opposite side of the oval spaced chairs from me, and we both walked toward each other, and she gave me a medallion, and a B.I.G. hug--the kind bloggers would recognize! --and a B.I.G. kiss.

Yep, right there in front of everyone and God Himself...shameless was she! Embarrassed was he! Yet he (me) enjoyed it immensely, as y'all can imagine. But she is so young to be fooling around with an old man like me...and pretty, too! Prayer-Girl was smiling just like I remember her on her wedding day.

I got to sit with Don B, my sponsor--who I love--and stayed for the 8 AM meeting with him. Later, a fellow who I sponsor asked me to lunch at a Skyline Chili Parlor. Boyoboyoboy! Good! And even better, since he bought! We also got caught up with each other's happenings. And I only spilled a spoonful of chili sauce on my white shirt. Nobody even notices it--unless I turn around to face them -grin!

Next thing I knew, God wasn't finished yet with making my Sober Anniversary number 35 the most memorable I've experienced. No sooner I walked in the house from lunch with Ted M, than the telephone rang with a call from Denver, and I knew who that was before she said "Hello?" It was of course--well, how would any of you know?-- my very favorite "blogger-girl" on the line. Here now, I have to ask, How many of y'all have had "Happy Birthday" sung over the phone to you by the sweetest voice of Mary Christine? (Look it up: Marilyn Monroe sang "Happy Birthday" to Jack Kennedy, U.S. President.) Note to self: Steve, let's not get carried away here now, OK?? OK!

Anyway, it was wonderful to be remembered, especially by someone who I thank God often for allowing to be part of my later (blogger) sober life. Bless you, MC., I mean it!

Later, I had a violin gig at one of the thousand Country Clubs here. The occasion was Italian Night. Imagine, the day after St Patrick's Day, the pianist and I played 3 hours of Italian music. Oh, one of the things about that job, it was so easy to work. First, my stress level was at real low tide, because of the "happies" during the day. But MAINLY because it was the first time I've played with this guy's music since I had my eyeballs repaired, and new "Restor" lenses installed. I COULD SEE THE MUSIC! No guessing the notes or their meter.

And so, I began my blog tonight: "What a day this has been, What a rare mood I'm in...." and it's time for bed. I apologize for not reading and commenting on all your blogs Wednesday, but will try to play catch-up from now through Sunday.

--smiling-a-roni

Happily, In love and service,
Sincerely.
Steve E.

A "GOD SHOT"!

SAID SHE.....
"WHO? ME?"

ONE OF THOSE "GOD SHOTS"

Since I live in a sort of 'tourist' area, we get lots (LOADS) of northern visitors at our AA meetings. One of six such visitors at this morning's 8 AM meeting introduced herself as being "from DENVER." Well, my ears perked, and I scribbled on my business card, "Do you know a blogger friend of mine--in AA--a girl named Mary Christine, who goes to meetings somewhere around Denver?"

Chairs and tables in this room are set up in a large circle. While walking all the way around the spacious area to deliver my note, I was thinking "Well, the worst she can say to me is..."No!" Guess what? She said, "No!"

Since she was sitting directly across from me in the room, it was quite a walk back to my chair--and the meeting had started, of course. When she shared (don't even recall her name) she mentioned that her brother is also an Alcoholic, that he was in Naples (here) during January. Don't forget, there are literally thousands of us Alkies now in this county.

Again however, my ears perked, but I thought, "Naw, the strange messages I'm receiving--in my head--are totally without merit. Steve, don't even GO there." Being the ever-obedient servant -grin...I WENT there!

The lady had walked over to the coffee warmers and I got up also, and met her at the urn marked "REGULAR"--at least she knew what to drink...only 100 proof for this girl!. What I whispered to her (this is rude, for someone was sharing--sorry) sounded completely stupid to me right as I was saying it (that happens a lot with me!). It sort of went down like this: "Ma'am, if your brother is named Jay, and he lives in CHICAGO, then I am his sponsor, and your mother, who lives here in Naples, has moderate Alzheimer's Disease, And your mother just loves me!" (Never met an Alzheimer sufferer who I didn't like--and who did not like me! Maybe because there is no judgement taking place in either court?)

She looked at me in utter disbelief, nodded, and said, "How do you know all that?" It all happened to be true, what I had told her. Really weird! PG equates our use of the word 'weird' to mean God. It turned out that her brother Jay had suggested she go to our club while in Naples, and that she might run into his Naples sponsor, me.

At first I thought along the lines of "the devil made me do it!" Then I realized it was another of what Zane calls a 'God Shot'. I hope she comes back to the morning meeting, but I don't know why. Her brother Jay DOES call me, by the way. We talk on Sundays. Wait until I tell him what happened here this morning...

Whatever God is up to, I have not a clue. But His ways seem ever stranger to me, as I learn more and more how to follow His will. I hope you enjoyed my true story from Wednesday morning 8 AM AA meeting in front of about 55 witnesses.

Winter is coming to its end, I'll bet you guys can see little pink "baby-bee-sized" buds on trees.

My Thursday begins A/C (After Coffee) with meetings at 6 and 7, and the day will end with a "cookie" meeting at 8 PM. I'll have to tell that joke.

Stay sober today with me. OK?

Sincerely,
Steve E.

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 14, 2008

With permission, I copied this photo SHADOW published Saturday.
In my "bad place" the following conversation took place between the
feather and the flower:

Feather: "You smell."
Flower: "I know. What can I do about it?"
Feather: "Go to meetings...and DON'T DRINK!
You will die...and STINK"

Steve E. decides to break his anonymity
by publishing a self portrait, taken in Colorado!

THE STORM IS OVER--

TIME TO PICK UP THE PIECES

I heard today: "In AA I got to know the real ME!"

I said to myself: "Noooo...In AA I get to BECOME the real me."

What a day was yesterday! I have learned to 'not go back'. However, It is difficult to turn away my thoughts from the past 24 hours. These hours began with a beautiful "Getting-to-know-you"-type phone conversation with Jenn in Houston, who sounded to be weathering Ike's wrath quite well.

Funny, I felt as if I had known Jenn for a long time--but we've never met, or even spoke before. We do have this common thread in each of our lives--a deadly disease, and a seriousness about a program to recover from it and better our lives. And we make an effort to help others in any way we see fit, that they also may enjoy some of the benefits WE experience. And while we discuss our alcoholism almost daily on-line, I don't believe we even gave it a thought in live conversation. I know we laughed during those few minutes. How wonderful it is! Thank You again, All-Powerful God!

Later, I read on Andrew's Addiction about a "bike-for-sale" ad (with picture of bike, and phone number of owner named Steve--happens to be my name!). L. Made vague reference that it might be that my wife is forcing me to sell the bike. (BTW, that would never happen--or we'd BOTH need lawyers, or maybe paramedics ASAP?) Well, this significance apparently escaped my usual aptness -grin-, until later, when I had to set the record straight (like NOW!) Again, I REVEL in the Email exchanges with my new and true friends in this Blog Community.

A few of us 'bikers' (misnomer, because I ride a scooter, albeit a BIG one!) rode to Ft Myers Beach to a men's meeting, what a FUN trip! I try to go every Saturday. It's the 'ride' and the 'breakfast' after, and oh, yes...of course, almost forgot--the AA MEETING! About 50 men from different towns around two counties attend this Saturday morning event. I have seldom enjoyed 'men's AA meetings' until finding this one.

Then I practiced my violin parts for playing at 7:30 AM mass Sunday morning...I LOVE it! Believe me, when I say I LOVE something (and I say it often here, and everywhere else, too!) it is for REAL!

Attended another AA meeting Sat afternoon, about 50 people, in a discussion out of Big Book, "Chapter To The Wives". That reading has never excited me until today, I decided to pay attention--there's the clue, guys! And, AND--there is SO much AA I found in that chapter today, had never 'seen' it before in all these years. No, I did not "share" my new-found insights--it was not the 'moment'. I'm jes sayin'...

Almost finished here:

Ya know, all of us have been thinking about, and praying for, those friends and their loved ones, living along the Texas east coast, and rightly so. An approaching hurricane, with all its uncertainties, is very stressful for most people.

Just stop though, and think how this terrible, violent storm of nature got us all to focus on others' troubles. I got to pray--or continue praying--for other people. I got to think about--and care for--and wish the BEST of everything for OTHER than "my usual SELF". I got to kneel right here at my computer and say aloud the prayer I was at the same moment writing to someone. Isn't that magnificent? Another item on my 'Gratefulness' List? Definitely!

NOTE: Now that these thoughts are in cyber space, I can "Let Go-Let God".

Have a GREAT sober Sunday everybody!