WIND AND THE SEA: ANSWERS

THE ANSWER MY FRIEND
IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND
THE ANSWER IS
BLOWIN' IN THE WIND

I LOOK UP AT THE WIND AS IT MOVES THE SEA
 

Water, water everywhere
below, above, and myself
by the Gulf engulfed
Breathing not air any more
Yet breathing, yes.

What now
Did I hear
You call?

Breathing and dreaming
A certain wave of peacefulness
Overcomes my being, entirely
and I thirst no more...
Breaths of salty flavor

No longer
In charge
Was I ever?

Few seconds? Eons?
There is now not
the necessity for tracking
That ticking sound from my soul
is not a clicking of time

It is
between now
and forever

Stupor of drunkenness
I must be dreaming as
I am reaching for my bottle
What was its name
this tastes the same

Elixir you
are hiding
from me

That oh so bright
Light--is it night?
No my sir, No...
It is the Presence
It is that First Cause

Of all
things which
were made

Drowning? Yes I am
but not in a briny sea
Finally here viewing
the really real me
in all the brightness

the moon
the sun
the Deity

A wisp is hanging over
as from this bottom I see
it can blind me no more
Here it is my eternity

No begin
No end
Only now

If there had ever ever been question
Let this be my certain answer
The First, the Last, the Always
As it was, is still above! And
As I looked up--this simple response:

To love
To love
To love

OK Peeps?  I fell asleep on the keyboard (again!) while writing this poem.  And I remember waking and looking at the page just before the last several segments, thinking, "My God, this thing could go on for pages and pages!"  

Aren't you lucky I woke up? --grin!

Sober love, and PEACE to you all...right NOW!

NOTE:  
This is not going to turn into a "dedication" blog.
However, I dedicate this to my wife, Prayer-Girl (PG)

Prayer-Girl is worthy of a dedication-post.
Bless you Prayer-Girl, Sober, Mother, Homemaker, Spirit-Gifted Healer

FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION

POETRY READER AT HIGH TEA

STEVE AND POETRY

OR

WATER AND OIL?

Peeps. I am trying out a new medium of expression.  It's ahh...well...poetry.

  There, I said it!  This first time, it is not about alcoholism or recovery.  However, without my program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I could never venture this far away from my usual AA dissertations.
Always I have tried to find the "meaning" of poetry or poetic prose.

I shall not work so hard at trying to 'interpret' poetry, because I am beginning to understand that the words have an ebb and flow sometimes of their own.

This evening I have come to a realization that Poetry, as Music, Painting, Dance, Architecture, Computer Graphics and other art forms, is created twice. The writer and the reader together are co-creators.  A favorite Poet-Peep was kind enough in helping me to this understanding.

What is the experience, or where is the fun, the pleasure, the spirituality, of a work of art, unless I take part in the author's effort?

For me to comprehend precisely what a poem denotes, I  would have to know what even the creator of the poetic lines did not.   For it is not in knowledge that I grow, but in the EXPERIENCE of doing, feeling, writing, enjoying, sharing and  loving all things and Peeps as they are, as they appear to me...as they choose to be.

I asked a famous artist two years ago about a certain "Lady in Red" which he'd painted--a wall-covering canvass, beautiful (Price $32,000).  I wished to know what was meant by the expression of her facial features, of what was she thinking, saying?

He said to me  "She is thinking and saying whatever you wish her to be thinking and saying." And he walked away from me.

So is it with poets and poetry? Maybe!

Here is my first serious (LOL--Me, serious?) attempt at writing a short poem.

NOWHERE OR ANYWHERE

Into haze-filmed arms
of early-morning ball of fire I ride
As the warmth I feel within
Tries to match the cool outside

On the path to anywhere
Nowhere

Does it least matter
Who I care to meet
What I wish to happen
Just take me there, oh feet

Over that path to anywhere
And Nowhere

Arrived is the age to see, to do
What is different from before
Change is what's about
Either now or evermore

To be anywhere
To be nowhere

There is but thin space remaining
One year leans into the next
So the time is now to be
Me forevermore...nevermore vexed

Anywhere
Everywhere

NOTE:  For her patience and time spent in helping me with poetry composition, I dedicate this poem "Nowhere Or Anywhere" with love and peace to my Blog Friend and One Top-Peep DULCE whose blog is named Sweeter Poetry. Visit her HERE!

IN THE BEGINNING..AND NOW

AS IT WAS...AS IT IS

At a meeting this morning, I heard a new member say she wished she could have at once a lot of knowledge about AA and how AA works.  She just "wanted to know more", in order to stay sober.


I sat there thinking back to my early days in Alcoholics Anonymous. I wanted to read everything I could, to immerse myself in the program.  I soon owned a collection of recovery literature.  "AA Comes of Age", "The AA Way of Life" (Later to become "As Bill Sees It"). In our library at home was a complete set of vinyl recordings of talks by AA's first alcoholic priest, Father John Doe (Ralph Pfau).

I really thought that more knowledge would help me stay sober. WRONG!  In fact, how could reading a book help me?  I would read one short paragraph, and the plague of my life would take hold. 10 seconds later I could not recall a thing about that paragraph. So reading, and listening were not to be the way to sobriety for me.

At the very end, I was mentally incapacitated and physically burdened, so that I was ordered by a counselor to drink one (no more, no less) pint of Vodka every 24-hour period, just to stay in survival mode. (Notice--I still capitalize the word Vodka.) And I did that for several weeks.  So getting sober was not so bad after all, right? --grin!

For some time, I really thought that consumption of one pint of Vodka every day WAS sobriety! Because it SURE didn't make me drunk, since I was used to several pints a day simply for maintenance of my stuporous condition.

Back to the real point of this post--I discovered that what they had said to me was correct. GETTING this program was not a series of lessons learned from reading books or listening to talks.  It was NOT "Don't drink and go to meetings!" GETTING the program of Alcoholics Anonymous required DOING things, not turning pages in a book. I had to do what I was told.  My first job was cleaning ash trays, and I became very good at that, they sparkled. In fact, I would gather ash trays during a meeting, empty and wipe clean...

My first meeting was a Step Study, as were the next dozen or so, except for a few speaker meetings.  I never heard "Meeting Makers Make It" until I was sober 20 years. I never heard a LOT of the crap that is bantered about now, until I had been sober many years. I DID hear "Help another alcoholic who is suffering." 

And that is where my program IS!


I was so fortunate to be surrounded by some wonderful, helpful, loving, long-timers, who took me along with them on this wild ride.

And I am blest today, this very day, to have been surrounded with some wonderful friends who love me, and I them. At tonight's meeting (Monday) I was made to feel like, well...someone special, ya know what I mean? Thank God this does not happen often --grin!

And I am simply honored today, these past 16 months, to be surrounded with you AMAZING Peeps online in this part of the blog world. Almost all of you are extremely honest, forgiving, fun and funny, truly non-fake spiritual Peeps.  

We all want to share, and do so with integrity (trying to not hurt others) our experience, strength, and hope. We are ALL trying, as best we know, to do the will of a Power outside of ourselves, to grow. We all pray, meditate, and help one another in these endeavors.

When all is said and done, THIS blog-world is a great part of my sober life, where I learn (sometimes the hard way --grin!) by reading, writing, and commenting. All is well in my world at this time, many thanks to many of you!

I am SO grateful, and I LOVE you all, and wish you the PEACE of untroubled mind, the PEACE of being wonderfully sober and connected with the universe.

SHADOW OVER THE WORLD

I am so sorry I overlooked linking "Shadow" 

to her blog address:  HERE it is!

SHADOW

I hear the Peeps all say
That it is her birthday
She can be seen in lightness
In the dark she writes less

Her poems are exquisite
As Peeps who visit
Her blog will shout
These pages are about

Everything ever created
Alone or, well...mated
Sorrow, love, life here
Faith, Hope, and Fear

All aspects of our Acceptance
At times written-in reticence
But always stories of forever love
Mindful of the Great Lover Above

Shadow, there is none like you
Nobody quite so truly true
I wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY
From Steve in Naples-On-The-Bay

Peace and Love to the Peeps!

A CLEAN SWEEP

I LOVE Sunday. (Well, I love EVERY day! That's the TRUTH!)

This morning is again AA meeting time, 7 AM.

Choir Rehearsal

Sing at 1100 mass

Visit daughter in treatment (only on Sundays).

Another AA meeting @ 1730

Meet with sponsee after meeting...hopefully.

Call a friend.

The day is over, the week is finished. Enough!  Amen!

This coming week is already scheduled as busy.  For me it is really exciting!  For years I have been wondering what surprises God has in store for me, who is there to meet?  Who might I help?  Who might help ME? I know God will use me somehow. Will He let me see that?  It does not matter,


Simply having witnessed now how it works lets me know that Great Things will be happening.
 
Alcoholics Anonymous has done that for me...given me back a life, my life, and added many years to what might well have been.


OKAY, It is time for a joke...to end this week of seriousness:

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married..

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.

'Why...we haven't even SWEPT together!'
_________________________________________________________________

And Peeps, One thing I believe which always
was, is, and shall be, forever and ever is LOVE.
Sort of like an attribute of God, Hmmmmm?

It leads me to PEACE!
(Those Green Pastures by the Still Waters?)

May we all enjoy both Love and Peace...and Sobriety.
Today!

STAY ON THE PATH

THE PATH

by MOSREDNA

FRIDAY NIGHT:

Meetings early this morning, wedding music rehearsal later--after that a 2.5 hour bus ride for a concert of Festival of Choirs at the Cathedral in our diocese.  Just got home after a very long day, feel exhausted, but spiritually renewed.  The Festival of Choirs was extraordinarily beautiful, hundreds of singers joined together from about a dozen South Florida counties. This was part of the celebration of the Jubilee Year of the founding of our diocese.


God is so Good.  I got to witness many people's lives being affected, changed, altered, during this day.  It was a day of Love and Peace, my favorite conditions (feelings) of humanness.  Life is wonderful (for me) when I realize more fully the Oneness we are, all of us, with one another.  The single huge reason for this Oneness is that God is within each one of us (Big Book p 55).  Like it or not, that seems to somehow tie everyone together, in my opinion.


What is...IS.
What was...WAS!
And what ain't...Ain't!


I can only know fully--about me.  What was, I certainly know about.   I'm pretty sure of what is, at least for me.  And what ain't, that is sometimes difficult to ascertain. Of course, I do not know--really KNOW--any of "is, was, or ain't" about anyone but myself.  When it comes to the performance of God's will, I cannot, must not, be a judge of another's actions or behavior.  I can "like" it or not, but no gavel-pounding.


Back on the farm, OH! those were the days--those days I hated so much.  I now look back on them with contriteness and awesome love.  Anyway, the work horses always wore blinders, pieces of leather sewn or riveted onto the bridle or the harness shoulder pad.  These blinders kept focus of the horse on the job at hand.  I was always  amazed how much more work got done, when a horse or a team could only see the way in front of them.


The same with me--you get it, right?  When I allow myself to only see the path in front of me at any given moment, my work--in essence, God's work--will more likely be accomplished. Not exactly the same thing, but Coach used to say, "Keep your eye on the ball!"|


When a new guy is trying to talk to me, I am training myself (it works!) to give him my undivided attention.  If I'm looking around for recognition, or simply to catch the eye of a friend, the Peep talking to me senses that immediately, every time.  This is one of the ways in which God is allowing me to change.  There are others...for future posts.


It is nearing 1 AM.  When Peeps rise at 5:30 AM, they have a name for 1 AM.  It's called "bedtime"...Good night!


Peacefully, and lovingly sober today, Peeps. OK

REST IN PEACE

FOR PAM'S MOM

Never met her

Never knew her

But this is sure

It is the Mom of Pam

Who last night

Passed on, right

Into the next life

Away from the strife

Turmoil and torment.

Angels were sent

To carry her away

From all the pain

Which earth has lent

Her inhabitant.

Now she knows

All truth.

Peace,
Love,

Steve

L O V E

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE, BAYBEEE


Just now...midnight Tuesday, my stepdaughter came to let me know she is "ready" to enter her 28-day rehab tomorrow morning early.  And she gave me a big hug.  It was the nicest hug I've received in quite a while--and face it--being an old guy, I get lotsa hugs, mostly from young girls who never knew their Grandfathers.

WEDNESDAY:


I don't know why, but this brings me to a topic on which I had not planned--it is just rolling out as I pounce on these bright yellow keys with large  black letters and numbers--I LOVE it!  And here rolls out the topic, Peeps. LOVE!

I have borrowed extensively and freely from a fine blog of a girl named Lighthouse, and I'm hoping she will not think too ill of me for doing so.

Many believe that some others throw around the "Love" word to the point of abusing its implied power, its sometime-erroneously-implied meanings.

There is a difference between love and being in love. I can love my friend, my sister, my cat, my blog… But being IN LOVE with someone has a different meaning.

Love is not "in love".  Love is one or more of the following: to take delight or pleasure in;  to have a strong liking for, or a desire for being in the company of, or an interest in; to be pleased with.

IN Love is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intensely romantic desire for another person.

For me, there is that huge difference, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, between the two words and their meanings. 

Examples abound:  Am I "in love" with my dog? No. (Although some may be--grin!)  Am I "in love" with my wife? Yes.  Am I "in love" with my Peeps? No! But I do love them to death, believe me! And during a slightest moment of chance, I would go anywhere to meet them, help them.

The whole act of Creation was and is an expression of God's LOVE for everything and for all.  Is love the Alpha and Omega of everything, even life itself? Mebbe so, Kemosabi!

Why might a discussion on this topic be troublesome to me or anyone? Quoting Lighthouse:  "I think this has a lot to do with people being honest with each other. We are afraid to tell each other how we REALLY feel because we are afraid of how the other person will respond. Will they like me as much as I like them? Will they be hurt if I tell them the truth? Will I hurt OTHERS if I tell them the truth? Will they not talk to me again? Will they gossip about me? What are some more consequences?  In any case, truth is the winner

Being a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous has allowed me to present--at least for my own unraveling of word-meanings--such a topic at this time, in this place.  

I am grateful and indebted to one, who in a phone conversation this very day, showed and taught me the difference between "Love" and "IN Love".

Peace, Peeps!
Stay free from bondage, Peeps!
Stay sober, Peeps!
I  L O V E  Y O U, Peeps--grin!

NOBODY READS LATE POSTS!

FLORIDA: THIS IS HOW WE DE-BUG 

OUR YARDS, IT'S CALLED 

"IBIS IN THE MORNING"

Do you know why many sea birds stand on one leg? 

Answer at bottom of post*

WHAT TO WRITE IN A LATE POST

WHICH NOBODY WILL READ ANYWAY?

So many subjects there are to touch. You know, I think I'll just (just? --grin!) write out a Gratitude List:

I AM GRATEFUL FOR

SOBRIETY  Mine and others, for my STAYING sober is dependent on others. It is definitely "we" who do this together. It is number ONE on my list, as you can see.

GOD  Well, of course, God's Will is primary in my life, but without sobriety, I can just throw God and all His Creation out the window.

LIFE  An do you know, I read in the Big Book, "We absolutely Insist on enjoying life." p. 132.  And Peeps, I DO that, maybe too much. But I try to know through it all, that it is God being GoooD to me. Do not ask me why?

FAMILY  When it comes down to the wire, when the race is nearing the finish line, it is usually a family member who will show their love the most and that has been proven in my family as well as a blogger in Texas--I sometimes forget the importance, the naturalness of family love.

PEEPS  There is NO WAY ON EARTH that I can give proper expression to my Gratitude for you Peeps, both far and near.  Some I have had GREAT pleasure in visiting--spending quality time of days together. Others I "meet" daily either in reading, commenting, or posting mine for you (and me). Some I email now and then--special friends! And at least one I enjoy hearing in voice calls--and with no doubt in my mind, I LOVE YOU ALL!

MUSIC  Listening to music is not my relaxation. Playing it is. The violin is my other self. Classical. And anything else. My "favorite changes daily, sometimes hourly, ranging from symphonies to standards, old and new.

MEDICINE  Thank God for dedicated doctors helping people always. Also for Cyberknife, and for TRELSTAR, a hormone injection. These have kept me cancer free (prostate) for nearly three years now.

NATURE  Maybe it is age, but I have found it so lovely to "smell the roses", literally, and actually smell everything else. And touch, and listen, and see--I'm just loving it, Peeps!

ANIMALS  A new-found interest has led me to a love I had never known, for animals--right Lucky?  He is the German Shepherd living with us now, or are we living with HIM? Hmmmm?

AA  Without AA none of the above--NONE--would be or could be possible. And, although it is certainly NOT a function of the (very spiritual) AA program, AA DID bring me back to......

CHURCH  (My opinion): This is no longer to me a simple building. It is a community of people, world-wide, extending beyond the next life into eternity.  I get to play violin occasionally at mass or other functions. And I get to sing in the choir, having only ONE month ago found that I COULD sing. My audition for the choir:

Music Director: Can you sing in tune? Yes. Can you read music? Yes.
Be here next Wednesday evening at 1830 hours for rehearsal. (I will blog about this encounter soon--it is worthy.)

My Peeps, I wish you PEACE!
My Peeps, I LOVE you all!
My Peeps, let us be SOBERLY "a part of" rather than "apart from" TODAY!

Ans. So they won't fall down!

BUT WILL IT FIT MEEE?

 FITTING IN

Over a long period of time, I have heard about the adjustable wrench of Alcoholics Anonymous.  It will fit any nut which walks in the door.  Well, there are several sizes within the "family" of adjustables.   When I arrived, the heavy-duty box was unlocked, and out came the tools.

I do not mean that I was unique in the "nut" department--AA long-timers were used to guys like me who knew everything about everything and minutes later knew nothing about nothing.

For so many years I was so full of pride, that it will be many, many moons before I'll be purged of that first of the "deadlies" (First Deadly Sin--Pride).  

After thousands of hours practicing this AA program of Twelve Steps, I must yet be often reminded that the world does NOT revolve around me. That it is not "all about me" and never was.  I can forget that in a nano-second of anger, resentment, fear, lust, laziness or someone else's HERSHEY BARS.

For many years also I was consumed with my own worthlessness--a reverse form of Pride, of course.  Nobody could tell me differently, though some did try.  When I became "worthless" for too long a time, a few who had cared would begin to think, "Well, maybe he IS worthless!"  THEN my real Proud self would take over, to show them a thing or two about (again!) everything.

So the task I unknowingly allowed AA Peeps to undertake was to reduce my pride to humility. I say "reduce" when actually during the move from pride to humility is a raising up of the levels of self-esteem, of confidence, of self-knowledge, really "knowing" a few things about me and you.

The procedure for this activity is, first I had to surrender, admit I am powerless when it comes to alcohol (as it turns out, other things also!). Second I have to Trust in a God Who I cannot see, who Peeps call a Higher Power--if not God, What Else?  Trust that He could do for me what I could NOT do for myself. 

Then I had to inventory my thoughts and behaviors, and discover with "adult supervision" (sponsor--grin!) where they collided with God's plan.  Next I had to make amends, apologize, and CHANGE, that "big one"!  Meditation, inventorying, and helping others completed this "de-priding".

Actually, I wrote in error the word "completed".  because completion is contained in the word "CONTINUED" in Step 10, and implied in Step 12..."Practice these principles in all our affairs".  As I stated way up at the top, perfection is never to be feared--because it ain't gonna happen.  I wrote that the purging of Pride, from which most of my defect spring forth, could take more than earthly time, but it WILL happen.  Depending on the maintenance of my spiritual condition, Pride CAN slip away...as it does now and then.

Bottom line, for us alcoholics is "Do not drink, No Matter What", and with that, staying sober and helping others, one day at a time.  These--put together--bring me a large amount of happiness during whatever strife I find in life.  Especially know this:  BEING SOBER allows me to see the Goddess or God IN EACH of you Peeps, whether or not we agree on certain issues.  Know what I mean, Jelly Bean?

I realize this was a serious post today, but you should know that for me, this is NOT all fun-and-games.

LOVE, Peeps,
SOBER, Peeps
FREEDOM FROM BONDAGE, Peeps
PEACE, Peeps.