CHANGE

SHORT STORY

I was a neurotic for many years. I was anxious, depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change.

I resented them, and I agreed with them. I wanted to change, but simply could not, no matter how hard I tried.

What hurt the most was that--like the others--my best friend kept insisting that I change. So I felt powerless and trapped.

Then one day my best friend said to me, "Don't change. I love you just as you are."

The words were music to my ears:  "Don't change. Don't change. Don't change. I love you as you are.

I relaxed. I came alive. And suddenly...I changed!

Now I realize that I could not really change until I found someone who would love me whether I changed or not.

(Is this how You love me, God?)

Story: "Don't Change" from SONG OF THE BIRD by Anthony De Mello   p 67

METAMORPHOSIS

CHANGE...OR NOT?

Following taken from: 

The Song of the Bird, 

by Anthony De Mello 

"Don't Change" page 67.

 

DON'T CHANGE

I was a neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and totally self-centered. Peeps kept telling me to change.

I resented them. But I agreed with them. And I wanted to change, but simply could not, no matter how hard I tried.

What hurt the most was that, like the others, my best friend kept insisting that I change. So I felt powerless and trapped.

Then one day she said to me, "Don't change. I love you just the way you are."

Those words were music to my ears:  "Don't change. Don't change. Don't change...I love you as you are."

I relaxed.  I came alive. And, ya know what?  Suddenly I changed!

NOW I know that I could not really change until I found someone who would love me whether I changed or not.


Is this how YOU love me, God?

Picture Credit, Deviant Art:  METAMORPHOSIS_by_RafiX14.jpg

HEART OF ONENESS

 CHANGE OUR HEARTS

Oh, if I could only be more patient, tolerant, and kind with others.  If I could end my grudge, and not judge as I trudge.  If I could replace my hate, my fear, with love, with understanding tenderness.

When anyone, anywhere reaches out asking for help, my program teaches me to be there, to offer what experience, hope, and maybe strength I may conjure.  Surely God sends grace to aid in this endeavor.

As an alcoholic, I can be changed through working the Twelve Steps.  Drinking does not define me as once it did.  Learning about Right Living is now my definition, and I try to adjust  to a sane and sober way of life, a life which hurts nobody any more, evermore...not even me.

I would SO much wish to let Peeps know what and how God did for me what I could not do for myself. Yep, I have to work with God...daily, or He will let me drift about until I am more ready.  I am more ready now.

Lord, this time...change our hearts!

Sober today.
Ready today.
Live today.
Love today.
Joy today!
Glad for today!









       

       

OH NO! NOT "CHANGE" AGAIN...

 

ANOTHER (sigh) STORY

Long time ago, as a member of an orchestra, I got to travel for six weeks at a time.  My memory of those days is that wherever we went, people did not like me.  Any time my eyes settled on another's face, I stared into a scowl. Always. I knew then I was alone and lonely in this world, and so I just played my violin, worked the job, and spoke only when necessary.

I became like a hermit surrounded by people--who incidentally hated me.  What a way to live.  What a horrible existence. And do you know what?  It was ALL in my own head.  I did not realize that until much later, like an hour ago?

Now, wherever I go, the 7-11, the Ritz-Carleton, an auto repair place, market, bank, Disney World, an airport, and AA meeting...Peeps TALK to me. They smile with me, acknowledge my humor, and display a genuine liking, a caring for me--and I for them.  What happened?

Whatever happened was a change, which did NOT take place overnight.  The beginning of my change was I drank myself into a pit of pity, a lair of despair, a world of empty mindlessness.  From there, I could climb only upward, for there was nowhere further to go...down.

I was rescued by a complex series of events, happenings which could only have been orchestrated by an outside force, or power.  I translated this into a God of my understanding.  This Power brought me to a point of surrender to a group of Peeps known as--what else?--alcoholics.  Alcoholics Anonymous.

I now know that as people began being nice to me, it was not "THEY" who changed.  It was, yep...ME!  Sure, I slip now and then in this regard.  And I try my best to make amend.  But when simply rejected, I move on, but not completely.  Being far from perfect, I hurt as well as anyone.  But having once nearly  destroyed myself BY myself, I vow not to let that happen again, by me or another.

So my world, inside me and outside, is a far better place than before.  And sobriety has given me life again, and freedom to be me, and a functioning mind (again) to know who "me" is.  And I am so grateful for all these gifts.

One who has been a friend of mine for more than a year, has written an "OTHER-than-average" piece on her blog yesterday.  It is long, but quite interesting and spiritual.  If you have a few moments, please go visit the blog of MILE 191.  Her blog title is "Come Into My Closet".  Thank you to whoever visits there and leaves a comment.  

PEACE, Peeps!  

No resentments...it is 

"against the law!"

STAY ON THE PATH

THE PATH

by MOSREDNA

FRIDAY NIGHT:

Meetings early this morning, wedding music rehearsal later--after that a 2.5 hour bus ride for a concert of Festival of Choirs at the Cathedral in our diocese.  Just got home after a very long day, feel exhausted, but spiritually renewed.  The Festival of Choirs was extraordinarily beautiful, hundreds of singers joined together from about a dozen South Florida counties. This was part of the celebration of the Jubilee Year of the founding of our diocese.


God is so Good.  I got to witness many people's lives being affected, changed, altered, during this day.  It was a day of Love and Peace, my favorite conditions (feelings) of humanness.  Life is wonderful (for me) when I realize more fully the Oneness we are, all of us, with one another.  The single huge reason for this Oneness is that God is within each one of us (Big Book p 55).  Like it or not, that seems to somehow tie everyone together, in my opinion.


What is...IS.
What was...WAS!
And what ain't...Ain't!


I can only know fully--about me.  What was, I certainly know about.   I'm pretty sure of what is, at least for me.  And what ain't, that is sometimes difficult to ascertain. Of course, I do not know--really KNOW--any of "is, was, or ain't" about anyone but myself.  When it comes to the performance of God's will, I cannot, must not, be a judge of another's actions or behavior.  I can "like" it or not, but no gavel-pounding.


Back on the farm, OH! those were the days--those days I hated so much.  I now look back on them with contriteness and awesome love.  Anyway, the work horses always wore blinders, pieces of leather sewn or riveted onto the bridle or the harness shoulder pad.  These blinders kept focus of the horse on the job at hand.  I was always  amazed how much more work got done, when a horse or a team could only see the way in front of them.


The same with me--you get it, right?  When I allow myself to only see the path in front of me at any given moment, my work--in essence, God's work--will more likely be accomplished. Not exactly the same thing, but Coach used to say, "Keep your eye on the ball!"|


When a new guy is trying to talk to me, I am training myself (it works!) to give him my undivided attention.  If I'm looking around for recognition, or simply to catch the eye of a friend, the Peep talking to me senses that immediately, every time.  This is one of the ways in which God is allowing me to change.  There are others...for future posts.


It is nearing 1 AM.  When Peeps rise at 5:30 AM, they have a name for 1 AM.  It's called "bedtime"...Good night!


Peacefully, and lovingly sober today, Peeps. OK

CHANGE-- AND PEACE

PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS

CHANGE
ONE FINAL WORD

AS STEVE SEES IT

For 70 years I have been playing the violin, in bands, symphony orchestras
 trios, quartets, strolling, inside, outside, here, there, and everywhere. From barrooms to rooms with bars.

Recently--again, without thinking, (no change there)!--I blurted out to a church music director, "I'd like to sing bass in the choir." So that's where I find myself, enjoying it SO much. We sing every Sunday 11 AM mass at St Ann Church. Of course, I will have the opportunity to play my violin on occasion.  The best of two world! Thank God and Twelve Steps...I am sober.

What a change!  You have no idea how I am marveling at the inspiration which guided me to this place. And I thank God for arranging it--that's the way it seems to me. Sobriety allows me free choices every minute, and if I feel that spiritual "push" it becomes my choice. Sometimes OK--sometimes NOT.

NEXT:

I want you all to know you do not have an Angel Gabriel or a Saint Stephen writing all these good changes which have occurred.  I DO have yet a couple thorns which with God's help will be yanked out of my soul one day. I'm ready! Are You? God? "Only say the Word, and I shall be healed."

My promise to you peeps is that I shall continue to change, and will let you know, as I recognize it.

And thank God for Step TEN, where I can get rid of most everything which disturbs me daily, sometimes on-the-spot, and with your help, bloggers, and peeps in the AA rooms, I can live the life of a free man.

ONE MORE THING

I've been asked for "my" definition of PEACE.  Peace--to me--is the absence of chaos. It--is not peace between nations, continental powers, political movements.  My control over those is insignificant.

Peace is you and me. It is a loving meeting of my mind and yours. It IS, in fact--love. It is thinking of you first, before me. It is caring, nurturing, supporting another.  Peace and love are "action" words. I have experienced a huge amount of this love at home and away from home the past five weeks. I experienced that "peace which surpasses all understanding" while traveling and meeting people (scootering) through five states.

On my final ride, the last 50 miles home, I was overwhelmed with the feeling, the knowledge, that I had been so loved in so many ways...accepted, tolerated, fed, "coffee'd", housed, and treated as an equal among equals, no matter what.  And they took me to AA meetings.

Again, for me, "peace" and "love" are so closely related as I might think of the genetic togetherness of identical twins.

The following quote sits on the desk of a long-passed friend of mine. It was meant as a definition of "Humility".  As I read, it usually produces a benignancy, replacing immediately any disturbances which found their way into my heart.

"Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me.

"It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and pray to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble. "
 

Really bloggers, be sober.
Be at peace.
Be loving and lovable.
Steve

RECLUSE NO MORE

ME--MR SHY GUY

NOTE: This repost is slightly edited.

A blogger wrote me concerning a problem she was experiencing, and it was so in tune with some of my own life's trials. In remembering my own willingness to humbly ask God to help me in this regard, and to pass along this information (Third Step Prayer) I answered the letter as follows...

TO: Name Deleted

Glad to have a chance to chat with you here, in reference to your comment on my blog this morning, and how you see me as "easily meeting and talking with people". It was not always like that. In fact, AFTER fifteen years sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, I was as yet quite shy, although beginning to mask it with emotional outbursts of anger, joy, sadness, and the like--I mean real outbursts!

Wow, this could turn into a Blong (a long blog --grin!). I was very shy as a child. Alcohol, of course alleviated that to some extent. But, as they say, my problems really only began when I stopped drinking. Before that, drinking SOLVED all my problems. I became reclusive, and isolated like you-know-what--a skeleton in a closet.

"And then one day", as the story goes, I guess (don't know) I got tired of seeing all these people--some of them with only one year sobriety--enjoying life, enjoying themselves and each other, while I, with fifteen years dry in AA, embarrassingly sat somewhere alone. I even wrote a poem "I was alone and lonely. Also I spoke to no one, and the world seemed a strange place....etc." What is that about, in our wonderful Big Book "...Grave emotional and mental disorders."???

So I 'forced' myself to talk to strangers, they seemed to be the easiest, because people who didn't know me had no prejudgment. Little by little, I just started smiling, acting happy, talking to everyone, saying exactly what I think. NOTE: I have recently found this (what I think, that is) to be sometimes NOT too good an idea! Some thoughts are best left between God and me.

I do not hide any more behind words. And now I AM happy! I walk across the street any time we have new neighbors, to meet and greet them. Most are foreigners, Latin, and I can 'feel' their love after a time. I have some stories about that also. Here is one:

An early morning knock at our front door brought me face-to-face with new the owner of the house next door. He is Haitian, could not even speak English. But his sounds and gesturing let me know, that the water company was shutting off the water supply to our house. I got outside in a hurry. As it turned out, the water company staff had 'fingered' the wrong house, even the wrong street.

This all happened because I went over in December as they were moving in, and offered to help by watching them work -grin! In times not long back, I'd have never even glanced at the new neighbors, not known where they were from, what work they do, how many children. I was even then learning to get away from 'me' and into 'others'. How much more beautiful does this make life? I cannot tell you. Each of us must find our own path in these matters. For me, it makes my life indescribably better, more fulfilled, more happy!

Everywhere--yes everywhere--I go on my scooter, I wave to people and smile (big). It amazes, it awes me, how many people now wave back and smile with me. They 'know' me now. I always talk with people at meetings who I do not know--I've become real good at that "first responder" type of encouraging, enthusiastic, meeting with a new person.

And now it has become EASY!!!! And I forget how it used to be (even in sobriety--for years) until you or someone reminds me. So I thank you more than you know--for letting me see what God has done in my life, what I could not do for myself. And NONE of this is my pride, what I'm writing you...just the way it is. I believe that is why God keeps us blogging--to share with one another what marvelous changes He has brought about in our separate lives.

I make mistakes, talk out of turn, say too much, embellish a bit, etc. I get by with stuff because of age, and 'time' sober, and by "grinning". God smiles at me, and I cooperate--daily--which gets me through almost each and every day in a safe, happy way. By the way, nothing could make me happier at this moment, than if something I wrote here is of help to you.

And with that, I've got to get to a 6 AM meeting--it's 5:10 AM here. (I may use this as my blog tonight, but of course, I would delete your name from it.)

I truly LOVE your work, your words, your pictures--as do so many of us. Thank you for all that!

Sincerely, with love for AA and God,
Steve E

And, sober today is what we'll be--right? RIGHT!

"AM I AN ALCOHOLIC?"

I know this is an old tired picture, but
someone out there needs to see this.
Maybe me? Well, not today!
DD

ARE YOU ONE TOO?

I was asked this question by a blogger today, "Do you think I am an alcoholic?"

Well, it took me back, because I'm just not used to a point-blank question like that on line. First, how in the world could I ever decide who has our illness? Since the disease "Alcoholism" has very little to do with drinking--if anything, he who asks the question must not know the definition of an alcoholic.

Neither do I!

All I can really know about is my own insane living, thinking and behavior while I was seriously spending 25-plus years (drinking great daily volume) developing my disease. I became full of the following: fear, paranoia, guilt, remorse, lowest of esteem (well who needs ME?), selfishness--we call it "self centeredness"--hatred of God and man and woman, and all living things, complete denial, self aggrandizement, and a complete disregard for anything but my own concupiscence, my own instant satisfactions in all aspects of life, alone, or with others. NOTE: this is not a complete list.

I already can figure who will know what that word "concupiscence" means, and who probably will not. (That's how well we get to know one another in just a year's time). It's one of those dumb things I had to memorize in high school. It is real. And it was true.

So, back to the question: "Am I an alcoholic?" I absolutely LOVE our Big Book "Alcoholics Anonymous" (from which our fellowship got it's name), and Chapter 4, p.44 "We Agnostics" has something on this topic. The first paragraph gives me a benchmark, so to speak, by which I may loosely determine if I AM or am NOT an alcoholic:

We Agnostics

"IN THE PRECEDING chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."

Of course, if I read that and start to analyze one word at a time, there just might be something wrong with me, i.e:

"Well they DID use the word 'probably', that lets ME off." "'Honestly' why would they put that in there, HONEST, who? Me? Are they joking?" "I quit 'ENTIRELY' almost every day, maybe two times a day...so why do they make a big deal out of 'entirely'?" "And 'little control'...OK, I ALWAYS control my drinking. I just always WANT to drink a lot!"

(And on and on we go, fooling ourselves.) Until down the line somewhere after three wives (husbands), a few jail or prison stints, some bloody happenings, the loss of a whole slew of friends, a DUI or 5 DUIs (Driving Under the Influence arrests) I finally at long last, after everything was lost, find that chaos reigned in my life. I finally admitted defeat, and showed up at the door of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And here I learned, and (thank God) keep on learning how to live, how to treat others with respect, how to stay sober and happy (or sad) at the same time, how to love, really LOVE, and how to talk to God, the One I understand. And how to CHANGE!

And "change" continues even to this very day. And I am here to tell you God's gifts just keep rolling in, and I'm hoping I can give some away--none of the Gifts are money, by the way! God doesn't usually deal in cash. His gifts are MUCH more valuable and long lasting. They consist in things like Peace...and Love.

Thank you for being here, Peeps!

I wish you and yours God's PEACE.
I wish you God's LOVE...and mine also.
Steve

CHILL, CHANGE, AND GREEK CHILI

Here is how I picture myself about a week
from now, scootering through the ALPS of
the US, the appalachian mountains This
picture has nothing to do with tonight's blog.

MY SIX WORDS
FOR YESTERDAY
(SATURDAY)...

Have become the
title for Sunday's blog:

"LIKE TIDES...
LIKE WINDS......
EVER CHANGING."

So much I pray this may be allowed me--to be ever changing. I feel it, know it is happening. But I usually cannot point to it, and say: There, that is what is changing today. It just has to happen in God's way, in God's time.

Funny thing! Early in my days of not drinking (in AA) all I heard was "Don't drink", and "Go to meetings". Then one day it dawned on me that you had said way back then, "'OH! And you must change everything about you, all about your self, beginning with your thinking, all the way to your style of haircut".

Well, I thought "Change the things I can...and certainly I cannot change my thinking! So I'll start with the haircut". I figured I'd "work up" from there.

I am finally remembering--because I've heard it more recently--that when you long ago told me I must change "everything", you were serious. You even said, "If there's anything, ANYTHING about you Steve, which does not need changing, we will notify you." I don't know about YOU, but to me, this is strong, heavy-duty shit.

So, through the years, I was allowed one thing, then another, to be kept: such as I could keep my job (bartending), my hobby (daily boating in the South Florida waters), my family (their choice). Very little else.

I am grateful that in the meetings in which I participate, this same message of the necessity for change is pounded into each new person (and old person!). And, do you know, in the several groups I frequent, we are having very few drinking slips. A LOT of thinking slips, and behavior slips. I am finding that God, when I let Him, gives me the grace to make those changes in my actions. He does not make it easy, but He is thorough.

So yesterday, instead of changing how I think--IF I think--I got a haircut! Today I took my wife to SKYLINE CHILI PARLOR, for a Greek-styled delicious bowl of chili. Yes, it's good. And I went to ONE meeting instead of THREE. And I made a couple new blogger friends on here. So, I guess I'm not too old to change, to make some differences in my life, and possibly in the lives of others, in town and on the road.

This blog seems boring to me...I just could not get it "going". Tired is the word. But my point is that we never just stand still. Like the creations of nature itself, we are ever-changing...getting rid of the old, bringing on the new.....or we rot and die.

Bloggers, let us stay sober today, and stay away from Greek Chili. Okay?

I Love you all, believe me.
Peace,
Steve

MORE ON CHANGE

THIS SAYS IT ALL

"When your heart responds instinctively to other people's joys and sorrows, you will know you have lost your "self" and attained the experience of your "one-body-ness" with the human race--and love has finally arrived."

"--TAKING FLIGHT" Page 167 by Anthony De Mello

CHANGE

Things have been happening to me. Many of you personally participate in the lives of others. My guess is that most who read this are female. That might be the reason so many bloggers and their comments show great amounts of empathy for others. You "live in" the lives of your children, family, and friends. You "feel" what another is suffering. You experience true happiness when someone in your life or elsewhere, is enjoying the good times. You rejoice with some, undergo sadness with another. That is what WE are becoming or have become. People who truly care, who really try to place ourselves in the shoes of another.

I used the word "we" above, because I find myself breaking through a wall into a room where "myself" does not matter so much anymore. This is fairly new to me. Reading these blogs for a whole year has left an indelible mark on my mind, on my soul. This is all about change. During the past year I have changed more than any thousand days prior .

My perception of huge transitions taking place in me began several years ago when I volunteered to use my musical gifts in a nearby church community. I simply followed one morning, a barely audible conscience-voice, walked up to the music director and said, "Can you use a violin player?" It was the first time I actually committed to "give" of myself--outside of Alcoholics Anonymous. This slowly brought out of me a willingness to look people in the eye, to openly greet strangers everywhere and anywhere, to, well, I guess to "fear not" anything or everything. I see now that God was working in my life, and I was beginning to cooperate, in a feeble fashion of newness.

And what a wonderful time of discovery it was for me! I found that people actually liked me...just for myself! I could finally make mistakes, and nobody berated me. I began to feel as if I was something of value in God's world. Most important, I finally found God, reconciled myself with God. I recognized that I believed in God, and He in ME!

After 35 years reading page 55 in our Big Book, I finally saw and understood the words. I became aware of Who God is, and where God is. He is "us" and we are Him. He can be found in one place ONLY--deep down within us. Sometimes--not always--God speaks through you, to me. Sometimes God uses me to speak to you. I see God in me, trying to rise to the surface of my whole self, trying to breach the fortifications (against Him) which I have spent a lifetime building. And now, occasionally I "Let go, and let God" do for me what I could never have done for myself.

Little by little these changes are taking place. I now can 'allow' God to allow me to 'like' or 'not like'. He allows me to feel what you feel, care for you, help you, love you. Since God is in you, a part of you, I not only can love that part --I MUST love that in you which is God.

And that is where the greatest change has occurred, in the realm of human relations. Trial and (much) error, embarrassment, heartache, sleeplessness are chacteristics of this learning experience. And perseverance has shown me some of the highway ahead. With care, with guidance, with advice, with prayer and prudence I am walking that road now.

Within the scope of healing, It has been proven to me at least a dozen times during these last few years, how God can liquefy the human heart from a state of dislike, even hatred, to one of forgiveness and love. God's special gifts of patience and tolerance become necessary allies in these ventures.

I would enjoy writing that this is all "sit-back-and-watch-it-happen" stuff. That is not true. Willingness is the key (familiar?). Prayer is the venue. Action joins these ingredients, mixed with a total helping of God's Grace. And then I can begin to approach that "complete psychic change" necessary for long-term sobriety. Use of the word "sobriety" here means a lack of chaos--mental or physical. Sobriety now means to me peace, happiness, serenity, a feeling of usefulness, loving and being loved.

Our (my) whole attitude and outlook on life has changed" and I suppose that is my message here today. The world certainly has not changed...I have changed! God is weeding this garden, but only as it becomes ready.

TRIVIA

Mark Twain: "Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves, and how little we think of the other person."

Let us all stay sober with each other today. OK? And let's allow God to show us the way to change our attitude, our outlook, our hearts. He really wants to do that!

Love you all.
Steve E

READY FOR A "GOD" STORY???

Are You there, God? Is it You calling me?

A SHORT "GOD" STORY

In a few minutes I'll be doing my vocals, and then I'll be singing. Please do not become excited, all you music lovers. I'm just going to be taking a shower! So this (NO WAY, Steve--grin!) may be a 'short' blog.

GOD AT WORK?

The following has to be a "God thing". About seven weeks ago, an older guy from my daily morning (7 AM) meeting did not show up. For some days, I wondered what happened, knowing (somehow, ya just know?) that he had not "gone out". I learned he had a colostomy. After a few weeks he was back in his familiar spot, in the same chair (colored 'green') and contributing in a feeble voice. Everyone, of course happy to see him in recovery mode.

Few weeks passed by again, and he was again missing from his green chair (this, in a room with about 90 people). The occasion this time was a repair of his open wound. A mutual friend informed me there was great chance--and hope--for full recovery. Well, the guy (Darth?) was at home again, being nursed by his wife and himself.

The mutual friend (my sponsor) and I were talking Thursday morning, and he told me that Darth would be returning to the meetings in about a week.

I said I would call 'Darth' that night, except that Darth hardly knew me (my defect). Darth has lots of friends there, old-timers (not simple "long-timers" like me -grin!!). My sponsor said to call Darth anyway - he would like that. I called, 7 PM, no answer, so I left a message. Darth is evidently an early-to-bed guy, he just got home from the hospital, after all.

Friday morning, who walks slowly and painfully into the room? He was holding his thumb and pinky up like a telephone in his ear. He was looking straight at me, and walked right up to my seat. I got up to hug him, and he would not let go. I detected a couple tears (both of us). He whispered to me this:

"My wife said to me 'why are you getting dressed? You just got home from the hospital last night!', and I told her I'm going to a meeting. She said 'no you're not', and I just left anyway, and came on over here to where I KNEW I was supposed to be. Steve, your call--which I could not answer--your call, and the message you left, was God talking to me, saying that I *belonged* here with my AA family this morning, and so thank you, and bless you, friend."

While I'm writing this short story, those "bumps of geese" -grin! are rising on my arms, back, and chest. Is God not working in our lives even when we are NOT? I really had hesitated to 'make that call' to Darth--first, because I just didn't know him that well. Second reason for (not) calling would have been my thinking: "Well, he's probably already in bed by now. F*ck it." So, again those two words which, when placed together form a sometimes difficult four-letter word--"DO-IT"-- were spoken almost out loud to me by You-Know-Who--I'll just abbreviate the name...HP!!!

Darth is loved by all, and he shared beautifully on our topic, Step Nine. Thank You, God!

God loves you all--and so do I! Have a SOBER weekend!
Steve E.