Three of AA's Twelve Steps:
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Is it Saturday already? I wish that the rest of this year flies by so well as the first day.
I am having a traumatic reaction to a life-changing event having to do with Steps Four, Eight, and Nine, those steps which I have always hated and still DO (hate?)!
Enough for me to say simply, Peeps, that steveroni is in pain--no joking here! But this too shall pass. How well I should know, that neither highs nor lows last too long in God's changing world--thank GOD--grin! And, thanks to AA's Twelve Steps, Sobriety, Peace, Serenity, and even Happiness can coexist midst Ups and Downs, even with a sprinkling of insanity and chaos stirred in.
Many years ago I completed Steps 4, 8 and 9...and I've been "completing" them ever since. There are some defects of my character which return year after year--trans: "day-after-day". There are also some which were not disclosed--by me TO me--in the past, and then new ones always are showing up to remind me I am SO human, NMW (No Matter What!).
It is my desire to ask God to help me with the changes in my life which must take place for my sanity, my peaceful way of life, yet preserve that enthusiasm and lust for life which I so thoroughly enjoy...which IS me.
Fortunately I have a sponsor who has stood by me through thick and thin, who "understands" me--because we are NOT different from one another. Seems like my best therapy can be realized with one who has suffered, and recovered, from the same maladies.
And, in spite of all I say and do, crazily or otherwise, I AM getting better. There is NO WAY, to get up for so many meetings, to work the steps, to meet and greet Peeps new and old, and not somehow get better.
As long as I keep in mind that "Some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." And I do NOT want to go back to that living hell of active alcoholism. Ya know, sometimes I DO believe when I can stay sober for such a long time, I let it slip my mind, the deadliness of this disease. And it is just those OLD IDEAS which can open the flood gates onto the fields of sobriety, drowning any chance for staying sober with JOY, maybe for staying sober--PERIOD!
Well, it's about time for me to end this January 1st, the beginning of a year with promises galore for me, us, and YOU, all my special Peeps.
All for today, and today for ALL