55 POST EXTENDED

Brian is wonderfully adept at story-telling, that I hesitate to do this--  I hope that it does not come through as impertinence on my part. I had written a comment on Brian's "55" and dontcha know? It came out to exactly 58 words, so I wrote a "fiction" to his "non-fiction". Here is Brian's original, my 55 follows his:

pale & bloated,
he lay,
a great, dead walrus,
in the front yard,
little hearts boxers
cutting into his abundance.

it was always me, me, me...
she said, he said,
police bagging her
cast iron skillet.

none questioned how
her response
was less selfish,
except their son,
laying in the impression
left in the uncut grass.

steveroni's "55"...

(Brian, you are indeed a MASTER teller of tales. Were you on that road to Canterbury?)

Fade into..."But, Judge Howell, you do not understand...he was running, and WHACK! ran right into my skillet..."

"WHY did I have a skillet in the front yard? Hell man, I was swatting mosquitoes..."

I rest my case!

Flash Fiction Friday 55 is hosted by G-Man

BAR TENDER?

Old Joke:  Termite sat on the bar stool 

and asked in a loud voice

"Is the bar TENDER here?"

PREFACE

Many years ago (45), when I moved to Naples, FL, there was no symphony orchestra in which to play my violin.  Naples  was--and is--a tourist area, a winter-home type city/county.
 
The primary businesses were churches and liquor store-bar-combinations.  Since my main occupation was, well...ummmm--DRINKING, I got a job as bartender. (What else?)

Nine years later, forced by ill health, the law, and Peeps, I capitulated to a Higher Power--God--to help me stop drinking. I stopped and stayed stopped until this day...

I was so enthusiastic about a fellowship--Alcoholic Anonymous--and its program of action, which did for me what I had tried to do on literally hundreds of occasions during the previous 20 plus years.  That is stop drinking.

STORY 1974

I had been working in a place named WITCH'S BREW in Naples, for three years.  Three years (to the very DAY!) I was fired, for the first time in my life. I was given an adequate severance, unheard of in "bartender" circles, and told to get out and never come back.
Also the owner told me I was the best bartender he ever had working for him.  Go figure.

Well, about 30 years later--still not drinking--I "figured it out".  I was SO wanting to let the whole world know that I had stopped drinking (who CARED OR CARES???) ...and specifically my bar-fly friends. I found myself, while stirring a dry martini for one customer, explaining to these folks, many inebriated, all about how to save their lives.  Also I explained in detail night after night, how their families were suffering, and how they could also have a better future, by not getting drunk every night.

All the guy (or gal) had to do was switch to coca cola, and everything would work out. Well, everything worked out.  I went home, it was 3 AM Thanksgiving morning 1974, and I got to tell my family we had to tighten our belts, that I was unemployed.

How STEWPID I felt!  And fearful, because the word would get out not to hire this non-drinking evangelist (me) anywhere in this county.  Well, I did walk into one place a few weeks later, a new restaurant in town, brand new everything--kitchen, lounge, tables, and my boss rode a big Motor Scooter!  These are "my Peeps", Peeps!  It was then that I took the risk to tell the assistant manager and the GM, that I was a recovering alcoholic.

Don't you know, they both laughed, and told me they too, were recovering alcoholics in the AA Program, and had just arrived in Naples from Akron Ohio, the birthplace of AA.  Well, we got along famously, and had an AA meeting every night right there on the job!  I got to continue working the bar, making drinks, playing the violin, and all lived.....I was going to write "happily ever after" but that is not the way it happened.  The rest of the story deserves a posting of its own.  The bottom line--for me here--was that (again) God did for me what I could NOT do for myself. Got me a job in an occupation I knew, and WOW! the money was Goood!

You know, I often ask God to change me, and He does!  But he keeps wanting to change things which I DO NOT WANT changed! Oh, well....

Lots of yard work to do.  Now that it is summer it is ongoing in this tropical paradise.

Blessings for all of you, Peeps.  Please SMILE today at someone who is probably not expecting it, OK?


Lagniappe:  Two weeks ago, i met a man named Bob (real name) who remembered those days of which I just wrote, all these 36 years later...and he was sitting in the meeting room--for the first time!!!  Believe THAT! (OK, God! What next?)
 --steveroni

DEVIANT ART: Zelda__Link___The_Last_Guest_by_Dayu

HAPPENING AND STORY-POEM

A Happening, A Story, A Poem
A non-verbatim account--Sunday, May 9, 2010

A STORY-POEM
OF TWO PEEPS

(She is eighty, he eighty-three
And all they have left is...me)

A little old lady
A little old man
Went riding last Sunday
(Yes--groan!--) 

In the "month of May"! 

To church at St Ann
Little lady and little man.

There they both heard
From biblical word:
"Welcome Home", and
"Be not afraid"
Words from long before
Remembered no more

The question, after mass
Where do you want to go
Was answered quickly
"We wish to be at...home!"
So I took them to roam
Round the old neighborhood
Walked partly into the wood

They--each in a wheelchair

"Dear, I admire you hair." 

And me behind, pushing!

Said one,
"Dear, please no rushing..."
Said the other:
"Back to our house, stranger"
("Shhh...but you live there
No longer--remember?")

"Where are you driving us?
Our house is back there!
We can take the bus."
"No...no longer, Dear
You now live here"--
TAKE CARE--TOTAL CARE
Division of Mental Health.
"Don't be afraid."

"Oh dear, I'm scared, but
I do remember those words:
'Be Not Afraid'...
Now who said that?"

"Must we go in
This dingy den?"

"Yes, Sweet. See,
Beautiful Miss Donahue
Came out to meet you!"

(Miss Donahue said to him and to her)
"Welcome Home, little birds.
Welcome Home!"

"I DO remember those words.
Just who said that today?
'Be Not Afraid, and
Welcome Home...'
How nice to say!"

She eighty, he eighty-three.
And they, each in turn

Smiled at, and kissed...me!

GOD BE WITH THEM...AND YOU! 

DEVIANT ART: James_and_Bea_by_Dtellesen

YESTERDAY AND TODAY

Amended: Because of minor laser surgery Tues. morning, I will be later than usual responding to comments, etc. If you care to pray, direct your thoughts to Dr Lynn, that God guides her hand to rid me of the foggy vision. Thank you.

 YESTERDAY

"Good morning God, this is Steveroni, reporting for duty."

If only I had knelt and spoke those words "upon arising", then I might not feel Restless, Irritable, and Discontent ("RID") toward the end of this day.  So much spinning of wheels.  So much time spent, with no results. 

True, I hurt nobody today, at least physically. True, I went to two AA meetings. True, peeps at home kept on me for this or that--fix this, when are you going to do that? Usually, stuff like that washes right off. But in these cases I "sounded off"...and made an Amend.

Let me walk back through the day. One friend celebrated 8 years of sobriety, while a girl she sponsors had 6 years today, the same day! Sitting near them was a guy who just came back, first meeting after 5 years "back out" drinking. Lost everything; wife, children, house, car, boat, country club membership and job. He has nothing, living with friends who move him around day after day. Asked why he "went out" after 11 years of being sober, he said simply, "AA didn't work for me."

Ahhh! Another topic. Surprise! AA does NOT work! It is a gift from God, a program for living--a way of life--which WE recovering Peeps do the "work".  AA has saved many millions of Peeps from early death, or lives of chaotic misery or insanity. 

This program, if practiced ("worked") with some diligence, practically guarantees an alcoholic will live with a degree of really true happiness, serenity even. 

And I will not have to dull my senses by attacking the central nervous system with booze, which is basically ethyl alcohol..."Have another drink?"  "OH! Yes, thank you!".  Ethyl alcohol, also used as a detergent, formerly the normal anesthetic used in operating rooms. I drank enough of it to be anesthetized for a LONG LIFE (DEATH?) of inebriation.

TODAY

So today is really a HAPPY day for me, another day sober, a day of reflection, a day of reconnoitering, gathering together the troops, working in the yard, praying until it becomes praising, and I will go to a meeting tonight.

Love you, Peeps! Thanks for reading...

...AND KEEP COMING BACK

A LADY'S STORY

A lady at one meeting today claimed she had been "drink-free" for 8 years, but her life was in chaos, she has daily thought about being drunk--"anesthetized"--for all those years.  How cruel we are to ourselves!

Well, it was her very first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, and every single day she is "Restless, Irritable, and Discontent" (AA words, not hers) which we refer to as RID. As in "When not drinking, we are Restless, Irritable, and Discontent."

Well, she says she wants to get better, she realizes that she is sick--that's a good First Step.

MY STORY

We live in a lovely neighborhood which is predominantly Spanish-speaking. About two years ago, I knew one word in Spanish--"Gracias"...and so I signed up at our public library for a free on-line course in Spanish--everyday speaking.  Two years later, the extent of my Spanish is..."Gracias". My point is that in order to learn something--or to change something about myself--I need more than an on-line computer course. I need to be accountable to someone. I need to make a learning environment one of my daily habits.

BACK TO THE AA MEETING

Well, an old-timer said to the lady that "Recovery from alcoholism is not like an on-line course, where you can read a book, follow instructions, and become a new person. NO! You gotta be in the classroom. You need the interpersonal relationships with others who have the same illness. Ya gotta learn from the mistakes and experiences of others and your own."

THE LADY 

"First-Day" Lady kept bobbing her head in seeming understanding. Ya never know.

"YEAH......RIGHT!"

SIX WORD SATURDAY

Ooops! SUNDAY

"YEAH.....RIGHT!"

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

 

I AM DIFFERENT

ONCE AGAIN IT'S TIME FOR...STEVERONI'S GRATITUDE LIST

For many years I have been listening to Peeps tell me that "Gratitude is an 'action' word. One does not simply sit here and be grateful."

While I agree that to show some sign of being thankful, other than just sporting a smiling expression, I must first have received a gift, and second, must know what IS that gift. When it finally hits me (when will it?) that God has done something for me which I could not do for myself, then I might say the following:

...in no particular order
I AM GRATEFUL FOR.....

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, my LIFE
SPONSEES, "must-haves", I need them
ICE CREAM, love it--any kind except "fat-free, sugar-free"
LIVING ON FARM, taught me a lot
HORSE, Mickey, beautiful shiny "black beauty"
SOBRIETY, without which I'd have been dead 30 years ago
FAMILY, here and elsewhere, I love them
FRIENDS, I love them
BLOGGER FRIENDS--I REALLY love YOU!
LOVE--Yes, I admit I love "love"
AIR cannot live without it--
ODORS love all those smells
NOSE of mine--it smells things others do not.  I can even
          tell women what perfume they are wearing--TRUE!
ART of all kinds, performing, creating
PAINT, to throw on canvass
DANCE...like ballet
POETRY--I'm attempting this myself occasionally
RAIN, thunder and all the trimmings
FLEX, my Guardian angel (Flexible)
FLEX, my 650cc scooter, named after angel
FLORIDA, 45 years of living in Naples
MEDICAL SCIENCE, and dedicated doctors
TECHNOLOGY--ALL of it!
MUSIC, the old masters
MUSIC, the new masters!
HERSHEY BARS, and chocolate in general
ESPRESSO, ESPRESSO, ESPRESSO
COFFEE, I'll settle if there is no espresso machine
.www or What a Wonderful World
INTERNET
COMPUTER, named Higher Power
MY "REAL" HIGHER POWER
GOOD HEALTH, well, comparatively speaking
PEEPS, everywhere
MY VIOLIN, by Georges Chanot c.1856 Paris, Fr
SERENITY, when I have some
PEACE, most of the time, this, yessss
HAPPINESS
Did I mention "LOVE"--grin!
GOD OF MY UNDERSTANDING

More next year............Peace to you, Peeps

ONE EVENING'S MEMORY

THE CAPTAIN'S CABIN
LOUNGE

It was a busy night
Back in '65

Classy bar, seated 70 Peeps

One man took drink orders
One man made the drinks
One man played the violin
One man cleaned off 12 tables
One man was bartender.
One man washed the glassware
One man told the jokes
One man lit EVERYone's cigarette

The reason I know this, you see...
That one man was...me!

Rushing around
Running around
To DO all those jobs.
Room noisy loud
Hearing the sound
Of the Ship's Bells
And twice I yelled
At piano player: "Mom!
I think I'm having a heart attack!
It's not just a pain in my back!"

She stared vaguely at me--
Said in her vague manner, "Oh?"
She kept playing the ivory.
I kept working the room.
I slept without waking
All next day....

One year after that
I experienced my first
Complete physical exam.

Doctor looked at EKG
Doctor looked at me
And incredulously
Checking, said he,

"When did you have these
Two heart attacks? And
How bad were they, Steve?
And why did you not leave?"

I was age 33.
Since then, it is
Now 44 years later.
Never since have I
Experienced that much pain.

And I had "yet" eight more years of Pure Pride and Ego, personal chaos, self-destructive tendencies, hatred, and overriding HUGE fear of all things which could not be measured in PROOF (as in 190 Proof!). My drinking increased, mental acuity decreased, and finally in 1974 I hit my metaphorical  bottom. And got sober. And stayed sober.

When I die one day
I'll sigh and say
I was given these extra years.
Have I wasted them with fears?
Is all that is left--the tears?
Maybe I'll just sigh and say
Have I done any good today?

PEACE TODAY, PEEPS!

WARNING!!! CATHOLIC STUFF AHEAD!

A wonderful experience I had Sunday (yes, it happened to be "in a church") I wish to relate. Trust please that absolutely NONE of this post is intended to proselytize or be in any manner "preachy". It just happens to be "me"...and I guess this is still my blog--grin!

Sunday May 2, 2010
First Holy Communion  at
St Ann Church in Naples FL, USA.

 

 

 

This is not about "religion".
This is about CHILDREN.
Innocent girls and boys,
Seventy-seven in number.

Two-and-three at a time
They spoke
Old Testament Readings
Brief one from New Testament

They sang the Psalm
They sang the Liturgy.
Softly, as if fearful, they addressed
Many an eye tearful...and blest.

Parents, Friends and relations
Gathered together in elation
To witness this moment unusual,
And so sublimely spiritual.

As I observed the ceremony
From afar on my perch
I'd completely forgotten
That I was in church.

Spirituality and church
To me are really separate
My loving Higher Power,
You see, IS my God!

I DO find God in that building
He is down there with the People.
Deep down within each one
Regardless how high the steeple.

And yesterday as I bent my knee
HE spoke to this old man...in
The only manner I can hear
He "talked" through those tiny three

As they spoke,
As they sang,
As bells rang,
As I also sang.

Life is SUCH fun
During these days
My First Communion
Was not far away.

Only seventy years
Before this one--
I recall the fears
They are all gone.......

A FEW PERSONAL THOUGHTS

SCATTERED THOUGHTS

 

"Things" don't bug me. 

Any more. Much. YEAH...RIGHT! ;-)

I started to write simply that "things don't bug me". Then I got to re-thinking that statement. Oh well, so things really DO bother me? But it turns out that only ME bothers me. Most other "things" are what and how they are supposed to be--usually, that is.  

That elusive word in the Serenity Prayer: WISDOM.

For many years conceptual *wisdom* escaped me, though I tried.  I DID try! Wisdom to Know the Difference. "Why is it so much simpler for others",  I thought. I fought it and thought it.  I gritted my teeth and tried--like some people pray, making it a strenuous activity. So I stopped that. Guess what? No longer concerned, the wisdom-to-know-the-difference was granted me.

So now I have wisdom (come on, YOU know what kind I'm meaning here--grin!), and working backwards in the Serenity Prayer, it is now the Courage to Change which is giving me so much trouble.  It was easy to own that courage to change when I did not know WHAT to change.  Damn "wisdom!!!"

VISITOR from Chicago

This morning at a meeting one of the dozen visitors from "up Nowath" announced he was from Chicago.  A little later, one of our Naples Peeps, a regular said, "I got sober in Chicago". In my own formerly-habitual manner I wished to say, "Well, I got sober in Chicago. Once. For about two hours! Then I woke up, and started in on my vodka again."  Well, so much for resolution. Now, where did I stash that bottle?

On alcoholic "COMPARISONS"...

Ya know how many of us compare with one another's drunk stories, and sober stories. Some say, "Oh, I was better than HIM!"  Or..."I drank more than HER!". In other words, the old "I'm better than" and "I'm worse than" syndrome. Well, for a long time now, I have felt--truly--no better nor worse than. I am only the word "than"....(please do not ask me what I mean here--I do not know--grin!)

The word here is not to compare, but to Identify--I now Identify with the THINKING, I don't compare with the DRINKING--so important, this.

Last, certainly not least--for today--STAYING HAPPY

Peeps do not disturb me much, no matter what they espouse, or say--except on weekends...well, also week DAYS, I guess--grin! Actually, that was a lie--I am bothered less and less about what peeps think or say about me...because I have found they don't think or say ANYTHING about me--ever! Only wish I had discovered that 70 years ago!

I am free to live, to come and go almost at will, to be sober, to choose, to be at peace, to pray, to love, to roam, to ride that big scooter ("slow down big boy") and to be nearly always HAPPY! I have said for many years, that "www" we used to need in our Internet addresses--that "www" stood for "What a Wonderful World"!

Love to all, and Good Night...Dammmmit, it's late again (sigh!). And let's stay sober today...OK?