Thursday, May 6, 2010



It was a busy night
Back in '65

Classy bar, seated 70 Peeps

One man took drink orders
One man made the drinks
One man played the violin
One man cleaned off 12 tables
One man was bartender.
One man washed the glassware
One man told the jokes
One man lit EVERYone's cigarette

The reason I know this, you see...
That one man was...me!

Rushing around
Running around
To DO all those jobs.
Room noisy loud
Hearing the sound
Of the Ship's Bells
And twice I yelled
At piano player: "Mom!
I think I'm having a heart attack!
It's not just a pain in my back!"

She stared vaguely at me--
Said in her vague manner, "Oh?"
She kept playing the ivory.
I kept working the room.
I slept without waking
All next day....

One year after that
I experienced my first
Complete physical exam.

Doctor looked at EKG
Doctor looked at me
And incredulously
Checking, said he,

"When did you have these
Two heart attacks? And
How bad were they, Steve?
And why did you not leave?"

I was age 33.
Since then, it is
Now 44 years later.
Never since have I
Experienced that much pain.

And I had "yet" eight more years of Pure Pride and Ego, personal chaos, self-destructive tendencies, hatred, and overriding HUGE fear of all things which could not be measured in PROOF (as in 190 Proof!). My drinking increased, mental acuity decreased, and finally in 1974 I hit my metaphorical  bottom. And got sober. And stayed sober.

When I die one day
I'll sigh and say
I was given these extra years.
Have I wasted them with fears?
Is all that is left--the tears?
Maybe I'll just sigh and say
Have I done any good today?



steveroni said...

ding ding--ding ding

drybottomgirl said...

You never cease to amaze me. You were given another chance because as my friend says, "Sometimes God just comes and gets you" and he did, and he blessed you and continues to bless you. You make a difference to my sobriety every time you post. Your honesty humbles me!

Kay said...

cease the moment, of a new day !!

Garnet said...

Okay, I'll bite, what does K.N.O.W. mean?

Prayer Girl said...

God kept saving you over and over. He's not done with you yet. I am grateful for that.

You are truly blessed....saved from two heart attacks and your alcoholism - and who knows what else.


Sam Liu said...

We should always be thankful for our health, and health scares make us appreciate it even more. This piece of writing is dazzling and poignant. A wonderful read.

Dulce said...

Have you done any good today?
Today, yesterday, the day before…
Sweetest Peep,
Ever since I've 'met' you... you have not done any other thing... each single day...

funny i was born then ...in 1965...
Oh dear... how lucky we all are you got over those attacks and you stopped drinking and being superman in that bar...
I sigh
And LV you, for being my dear Steveroni man!

Syd said...

Whew, that is really young for heart attacks. I would say that the many chances we are given to do better is evidence of God's grace.

Cindy said...

awesome, what a story! I am inspired!

Heather's Mom said...

How concise, how eloquent, what a story of your life. Praise God!

Bananii said...

When I die one day
I'll sigh and say
I was given these extra years.
Have I wasted them with fears?

haha coincidence I wrote something like that just by now.

Yep, nothing is coincidence i God's plan!

Brian Miller said...

how terrifying....glad you were given the gift of more years though...its never too late to make that diffrence....

Nevine said...

Steve, you are just amazing! What a touching post!!! And two heart attacks? That's more than most can handle. But yes, you're still alive. And yes, you do good every day. You're here, telling us about yourself, and ding ding dinging to us to beware. We all fall, but sometimes we fall and never get up. You're up and going! An inspiration, as always. Have an awesome weekend, Steve!


Jingle said...

inspiring words,
remarkable impacts on us...
thank you for the beautiful spirits!

Happy Friday!

Caroline said...

Oh my goodness...yes you have done good today! What a wonderful post. What experiences you have had. Keep sharing ;)

Peace out.

linda said...

listen to your woman
wise woman she
not much more

i had no idea you had written so many posts since last i was here so will put you on my reader and not miss a word...they are so good, they make me cry, that i don't like but then again, it's just because they make me feel, that is a good thing, i am told so feel i will...thanks to you.