Sunday, May 31, 2009



"Sometimes, it feels like being hung

out to dry, after being shot and gutted."

After reading a blog by FINDON earlier today, I began changing my mind on the meaning of blogging to me. Is it selfish, or selfless, or some of both? Is is worth the effort? Should I stay with it?

I DO enjoy writing. A certain lack of rules regarding content is almost like an AA meeting, without a chairperson. Is that good or bad? It suits me F.I.N.E. FINDON pretty well set it out for me, how to direct my thoughts--for now.

Selfishly, I do learn so much from your posts, and your comments on mine and others' blogs. I see a lot of give and take here, plus a lot of support and love among the Peeps...my peeps, your peeps, I love you all! My program would have a great failing without you, and my heart a great hole. So I'm IN it for the long haul! Please stay sober with me!


OK, I'll go ahead and say it, 'humility' be dammmmmed.

When I read a blog like yours, Findon, it renews my desire to continue blogging. Because, I'll tell you, sometimes it seems like such a fruitless exercise in futility--like, is anyone really out there receiving any benefit whatsoever?

Sometimes, after I write a particularly personal, almost embarrassing post, I feel like I'm being hung out to dry, after being shot and gutted.

Or am I just salving my Ego, by coloring my life for cyberspace? (Color me RED!)

I again (momentarily?) realize that it is SO worthwhile, to get these posts out every day, and that we all DO have an impact on each others' recoveries, on our very lives.

In a blog world like ours (in which you so warmly welcomed me last July) I would think there would be SO many disagreements, arguments, petty jealousies, and shoot-outs. But....none, there are just none! Is that not amazing?

All of us seem to realize that we either find safety in the togetherness of the recovery lifeboat, or sink, alone and lonely, into the depths of oblivion. It is that way with me. I'll play it safe. (Hey, this has morphed into a serious blog. Wow!)

Thank you, FINDON! Thank you. Now I shall continue to get out a blog every day--almost like a deadline. WAIT A MINUTE! Should I really be thanking you??? Hmmmmm? Or NOT! -grin!

Peace, and LOVE,
Steve E


Findon said...

Many thanks for the kind words Steve. The blog pages are the first sites I turn to when I switch my computer on, so I guess they do have a significance for me. As Lou said, that was something I had not expected. I look forward to seeing further posts from you. Take care.

Mary Christine said...

No disagreements, petty jealousies, and shoot outs? really?

Prayer Girl said...

I think I'm blogging because it is a good discipline for me....a discipline in searching my heart and mind for what is there to be expressed, finding the words to say it, then actually putting it 'out there'.

As is true in most of my life I think God has His purposes in continuing to put that nudging or urge in me to blog and those purposes are "none of my business". They seem to be there no matter how I am personally feeling about continuing.


Syd said...

Good thoughts on this Steve. Blogging is something that I do because I enjoy writing. And I enjoy reading what others have to say on their blogs. It is another way to work the program that I work. Thanks for all that you provide here.

Ed G. said...

Proud to stay sober with you today...

Indigo said...

Blogging at first was a lark, a dare to do the thing I didn't think I could do...write about my life and share. These days I would honestly say it's the purest kind of therapy one could ask for. (Hugs)Indigo

Cat said...

Blogging is what brought me to recovery - to the idea of my own recovery - to al anon.

It has a purpose - I learn from others I laughed because of others and I feel a real sense of community, cyber or not.

Steve E. said...

I apologize for blogging on "Why I Blog" as my topic...I had forgotten this was an "awarded" topic...I was not trying to infringe or impinge on this thing.

Also, I'll not spend too much time in the "Amends" department. After all, Amends are about
change" more than "Forgive me" etc.......
Steve E

Shadow said...

i've never wondered if i should blog or not. some things just feel right...

Gin said...

I'm glad you're here blogging. You give me hope that there is hope for my husband. It is so nice to read your blog and see someone that has made it to the "other side" of alcoholism. I learn so much from reading blogs like yours and quite honestly I really think that they help me hang in there when times are tough with my husband.

Anonymous said...

another topic may be - would my blog be different if i turned commenting off? that's one i have been pondering as of late. the ego is a tricky bastard!

Steve E. said...

Dear Anonymous:

"You betchum, Red Ryder..." (That means I agree.) But I won't turn them off, because I consider that those comments are as much of a learning tool as the rest of the stuff....for me, anyway.

Findon said...

Apologise. Do you know how proud I feel to know someone who was in the Cincinnati Symphony, even though I never tell a soul. It is my privelege to read and know a little of you. (I'm smiling, which means it's good.)

wolfie185 said...

I agree with others, blogging just feels right and it is a part of my recovery. It isn't a replacement for meetings but an extension of fellowship. Blogging has allowed me to do something I love to do which is write. I am grateful for the new community of bloggers I have found and enjoy all your words.

Anonymous said...

I'll tell you something personal about my blogging: I can't live without my sitemeter. I love checking it about a 100 (million) times a day and seeing people on there who have never and probably will never comment. But they keep coming back (where have we heard THAT before) and ocassionaly one or two of them will drop and email to let me know how I have touched their life. Ego? Maybe. But Bill had a big 'ol ego and he still wanted to spread the message. So there.

Ok, I'm done.