DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

HELLLLP

 MAY 25, 1933




This morning, (well, midnight?) Tuesday May 25, I was greeted on line by a blog post dedicated to me--steveroni.

Without a doubt my BEST FRIEND in the Blog-hood, Sweeter Poet Dulce has bestowed a cyber birthday gift, a blog post dedicated to--yep...ME!.  I learned from Shakespeare that a gift is twice blest, in who GIVES, and who TAKES, and I accept with love this gift from "Canary-Girl" friend. 

I hope that one day she will visit this country, so that we can meet face-to-face. I know I would cry--with joy! Such a fine poet and guru of life and living. We are truly friends.

NOW...for my post, 
three scenarios in which the phone person 
is a surprise response to Dulce's blog post today

NUMBER ONE:

Ring!
"This is help Desk. How may I help you?"
"Oh my, yes, I need help so badly."
"OK, deposit $85 USD and then tell me, what is your problem."
"My problem is...that I do not have $85."
"Sorry. Help Desk is closed for the season."
beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.....

NUMBER TWO:

Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring /

"Yes, yes, what is it?"
"Is this Desk Help?"
"Sorry, this is Help Desk..."
"WTF!  I need HELP, not to deal with Samantics."
"Sir, you do need help. The word is SEMantics."
"No, I need help with my body."
"Please, SIR! We are not that kind of Desk Help--I mean Help Desk, Dammmit."
"You do not understand...it is my violin, the body is coming unglued."
"(Sigh!) Oh well, what is it's age?"
"Age...154 years, built in 1856."
"Hey, wait, that is before Lincoln was president, C'mon, YOU!"
"It was made in Paris, France. Georges Chanot is the Luthier."
"We do not even go NEAR French bodies. Sorry"
"You are NOT a real 'helping desk', are you?
"Simmer down Sir...try a teaspoonful of glue. And call me back. Ask for Dulce."
"OK"!

NUMBER THREE:
(Texted messages)

Ding--ding--di........"You have a TEXT message"

Texting:

Is this deskhelp in India?
Yes!
I have a big  problem.
What?
I tried a teaspoonful of glue as you said...
And?
My tongue is permanently fastened to my upper teeth. You did not tell me, "Do not use Super-Glue!"

beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.............

29 comments:

Syd said...

Well, happy birthday but go easy on that glue!

steveroni said...

I own a beautiful heavy gold cross joined with a gold AA "circle-and-triangle" symbol. But went "cheep" for the chain--faux gold. It tarnished BAD ten months later.

For my birthday, Sweet wife Anna (Prayer Girl) gave me a 14k 24" gold chain, to be shiny gold forever! I LOVE it! And now I can wear my cross once more--always!

Thank you, Love you!

Kelly said...

Happy Birthday! :)

Ces said...

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday dear Steveroni,
Happy Birthday To You!!


Happy Birthday!

Genimis always say goodbye.
They think about it for a very long time.
They think of leaving.
They say they will be leaving and will be gone for a while.
Then they finally tell the people they are leaving.
They say goodbye.
...
...
...
(they went to the kitchen to get a drink of water)
(They have thought long and hard about their departure and finally they have said goodbye)
(It's out of the way)
(They did it, they said goodbye)
...
...
...
2 hours later...
...
...
...
They have been gone long enough.
Time to come back!

P.S. Do not ever tell a Gemini that he said he was leaving and then he is back after two hours.

To Geminis, 2 hours is eternity.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Steveroni.

Nice violin!

clean and crazy said...

i can't believe it is the 25th of May already!! oh my gosh, i thought this was a reminiscent post or something when i saw the title, i thought you were going to tell a story of something that happened on this day 77 years ago!!

...oh

... i guess you did. happy birthday sweetie!!

Caroline said...

Happy birthday!!! Here's to many more. Cheers! (with a cup of coffee ;)

linda said...

happy birthday, farmer of peeps...
xoxoxox and lots of ♥

Katherine said...

Happity Birthday Steveroni!!
I hope that whatever you did to celebrate your very own 'New Years'..that you had an absolutely awesome time! Best of wishes to you!

Jingle said...

Happy Birthday!

77,
The sum of 7 and 7 is even,
Thanks...

Ginnie said...

Well...welcome to my world ... 77 and holding ! With the help of AA it can actually be a joy.
By the way, I pick up the booklet today on the Hx of AA in our county and will get it in the mail to you. All the best on your big day.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Happy BIRTHDAY MY FAVORITE (well the one and only) STEVERONI!!!!!

May God bless you richly indeed, may he continue to expand your territory and keep you from harm as you are a spearhead in His ever advancing creation! And oh how creative He is!

Maha said...

Wow! that must be great getting to live life to its fullest, yet be still so young at heart with wisdom in life and a great sense of humor too! Happy Birthday to you dear Steveroni!

Ann said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! We share the same birthday!!!!!!!!!!! How cool is that?!?!??!?! Enjoy YOUR day as I know I love any day that is centered around ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

izzy said...

"Salut !" I raise a mug of coffee
( because I haven't moved onto soda and juice yet) " To B'days, violins,
writing, humor-" I hope you have a shady, cool place to be today- (given where you live) friends to have conversations with; and some
small trinkets to unwrap- Cheers.

Dulce said...

Happy Birthday again PEEP!

I must state here you are really the sweetest and a bit mad too! LOL>>< Hey-But that is what makes you so special, so unique...

I think You should keep phoning desk help, sorry, help desk and see if they can do anything about it...

It's a shame I do not work there any more, since I moved from India I've been working as a teacher... :(

WOW-a real good friend (you honor me)

hugs
I hope you the perrfect day you deserve!

JStar said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE!!!!!!

Isnt Dulce just the greatest :)

steveroni said...

SYD: I'll use the glue sparingly! I used to "sniff" it, sort of like an Hors d'oeurve before graduating to sniffing muriatic acid.

CES, Beautifully written! You really Ummmmmmmmm...have a way with, uh, well, with words? --grin! One day I looked at myself and said, "What's a Gemini?" And I heard myself answer: "I dunno!"

CLEAN AND CRAZY: "Once Upon A Time...." Thanks for visiting!

CAROLINE: Yessss. Cheers! But with a double quadruple Espresso for me, please! (Is that eight?)

LINDA: SO cute (Farmer of Peeps) and I read between lines, ya know?
YOU are very special to me. Thank you!

KATHERINE: This day is moving along rather fabulously!!! Thanks
for dropping in!

JINGLE: The sum of anything plus itself is "even", is that not so? From now on I'll skip every other birthday anniversary. Hope that's what you meant.... Glad you came by. Thank you!

GINNIE: We are both ageless! Right??? Love ya.

JESS: Oh how I am so happy to live in a place where the AA is similar in (can I use the bad word?) structure (Shhhhhh) as it is in Ch, SC. GOOD stuff. I amd happy you came here today, it would not have been complete w/o u

drybottomgirl said...

Steve,
A life well lived, an example to follow, a spirit to embody, you are all those things! 77 years young and so much living to do. You are indeed a shining star in the world of recovery. Tonight if it's clear and the starts are out, lay in the grass and for each star there is say something you are greatful for, but be careful you may run out of stars! Blessings this day and always :)

steveroni said...

MAHA: You are perceptive, and full of empathy for others, and wisdom for the world. I must go see what is your area of studies. I am thrilled to be blogging with someone so young, yet so astute. Bless you!

IZZY: After 36 years sober, I still have not moved to "soda and juice" so maybe I'll also die one day--ya never know--grin! It's possible....

DULCE: Girl, YOU are the greatest!

JStar: Yessssss. And thank you for coming by today--and other days! And for those "nominations"....

Angeles said...

Happy Birthday!
I give you a cake with Dulce de Leche:
-------------(------( -----(----(
-------------()-----() ----()----()
------------ ||--—-||-—-||-—-||
----------{*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~}
--------@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
------{~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* }
----@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
----{~*~*~*~*~FELIZ~*~*~*~*~}
----{~*~*~*~CUMPLEAÑOS! ~*~*}
----{~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~**~ }
----@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

FELICIDADES dear Steve!!

Nevine said...

I'm late but here, Steveroni! I am one day late, but not one minute late in feeling joy in celebrating another year for you in this world. So glad to know you and Dulce both... You are both such shining lights. And there is no doubt how you both connect to one another. It's nice that such relationships can exist with people we've never met. It's beautiful, truly.

Happy Happy Happy Birthday, Steve. And may you live for as long as you wish to live. And may we always read your inspiring thoughts, day in and day out!

Big hugs,
Nevine

Calli said...

Oh Steve~ Happy, Happy and blessed Birthday my dear friend! 77...wow! Who would know. You have more energy than most 20 year olds. I do hope your birthday has been as special as you are!

I read further back and it seems you have been coming and going. I am happy you are staying because whenever I return, I like knowing you are here in all your glory.

Wish I could celebrate with a cup of chai or something.

Lots of love, Mr! xxxooo
~Calli

Sam Liu said...

How wonderful of Dulce to dedicate a poem to you, that's so kind :) Those dialogues are great, very snappy and they are all fit together perfectly. My favourite one is Number 2, it had me laughing out loud :D

Kristin H. said...

Well holy quacamole! It's Steve-o's birthday!

I hope it was a great one, dear man. You deserve all the happiness in the world :)

steveroni said...

KRISTIN: OH! girl, I was SO hoping you would come by with your special wishes, and gladness now rules! Yes, it was the happiest birthday of mine in recent times. Positively! Thank you.

SAM LIU: What a wonderful guy you are to follow so religiously (ooops! No religion allowed here?--grin!). And so talented you, I am learning from you--no matter how busy, how little sleep...COMMENT. The Peeps deserve it. Thanks for this lesson

CALLI, CALLI, CALLI: How is it you ALWAYS say JUST the right words? You are SO appreciated by us ALL, and contribute--when you drop by--immensely to our well-being, and the lifting of our spirits! Love you? I DO!

NEVINE YOU SWEET ONE! Again you inspire us to do, to write, to say, what we might not if left alone. Your understanding of the power of cyber "connections" and your continual support are what endear you to us. In the blog world, you are the cherry on top the Sundae.

steveroni said...

DRYBOTTOMGIRL: Well can I "see" you, in the light of all those stars. And this line, the best: "be careful you may run out of stars!" is my FAVORITE.

Thank you, girl, you are a good blogger as well as a good commenter.

ANGELES: THANK YOU, for the cake! Although I have had a perfect birthday--first time this year--No one gave me (the poor beggar) any cake...today. But GOOD dinner, etc.

Andrew said...

Happy birthday my friend!

Ily said...

Ha! Happy Birthday to you, my friend!!

Remember, don't glue your mouth shut until you've finished your cake! :)

Loved the second script! Dulce's my "primita," btw...at least here in blogland! She's great, isn't she?

Jingle said...

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/jingles-may-follower-award-week-4.html

cool stuff,
enjoy some gifts.