BREAKNECK EXPRESSWAY

QUICK TRIP--QUICK BLOG

Monday and Tuesday I went on a short 3 hour ride to visit Firefighter-daughter-girl K. She has a good job, her own house, four dogs. One dog is named Chief, same name as her boss's title--who is not a newspaper editor, as in "Good morning, Chief!" K and her mother N share the same house, and also lots of stuff.

On my run up to her city, I must admit to traveling at a speed just above the limit--well, an honest program begs me to say, I went well--that is, waaaay above the posted limits. Seems to me a speed limit should be set by the driver, when there are none others in the area...within 40 feet, anyway. So, I told myself that it was high time--after 8,000 miles--to "blow out the carbon" as we used to say 120 years ago.

Once the carbon was blown out (is that when it feels like I've broken a couple of bones AND the sound barrier?) I couldn't get the bike to slow down, it seemed to have a mind of its own which said, "What's the difference between 90 mph and 95 mph?" As it turns out it's only about $140.00 difference. Let's see...well, WOW! let's double check that. OK, $140 buys enough gasoline for me to travel 3,500 miles. Hmmmm! I may have to rethink this whole 'speed' business.

Back to the topic--chocolate.

My daughter and I went on a five-minute grocery shopping spree, well just a couple small items, ya know? And one of our choices was a big box of red, ripe strawberries. The sign read $3...save $6. So, anytime I'm getting something at 33% of it MSRT, I'm IN! Anyway, they were LUSCIOUS! And my daughter's mother N (yessss, ex-wife (#3) OK? So NOW ya know...) heated up about a thousand Hershey's Chocolate Chip pieces, and they smelled SO GOOD aflame...and she burned the living "H" out of them.

Firefighter K came home, and was running for the extinguisher, when she saw she would be attacking a small bowl of "chocolates-en-purgatorie". So, another "pot-o-choc" was heated, and do you know, that dish of chocolate-covered strawberries was the best I've had...ever. We all three pigged out.

Went to an AA meeting with N, a disappointment. About 70 people around a circle of tables, with about 5 guys, (leaders) explaining the Big Book line-by-line, sometimes word-by-word. These fellows were "Joe and Charlie" wannabe's--and it was almost pathetic. You who know me, must realize that for me to describe it that-a-way--it had to be B.A.D. But it was a good lesson in the virtues Patience and Tolerance. So there IS a reason for everything, Santa! And we met a few people, made a few friends, spread a bit of good cheer, you know the drill. And I LOVE that drill!

Long ago, then-wife N had arrived at the door of AA one year after my entry, and daughter became a member of the newly-formed Alateen group in Naples. Yesterday we all three had a "Blong" of a long session, remembering old times: again, the good, the bad, and the ugly...and there were plenty of all three components. But it was fun, a family which used to live together--now good friends--enjoying, sharing, and catching up on times past, present, and a bit of daughter-future tossed in.

Twenty years ago, I could not begin to imagine a scene of us three sitting during an evening, on the same lanai, speaking in civil, normal tones, civil and normal words--words of tolerance, support, understanding, and yes, even of love...the love of God for us all. Next trip up there, Prayer Girl will accompany me...she's been there already. That will be probably in about a month.

Meanwhile, I'm going to be a part of those joining MC in staying sober today--whatever day this is..."I'm IN".

In love, and service.
Sincerely,
Steve E.

OH NO!...ANOTHER "STEVE" STORY?

"GIRLS RULE"
One of these gorls is my daughter.
I'm Going on 3.5-hour bike ride
to visit her Monday and Tuesday

NOTE: Thank you to all who commented yesterday on my blog, also to those who read about the girl's suicide...and prayed with me. This is indeed a program of unselfish giving, and receiving...love.

NOTE 2: Leaving early Monday morning to visit my Firefighter/Engineer/Acting Lieutenant daughter, Kathy. Gonna 'bike' up there, about 3.5 hours, and have fun...maybe go to a meeting there.

"SEE YA IN CHURCH!"

Met a guy in church. He was sitting there, next to his--I guess--wife. I had asked him to please hand in my envelope with his own. He asked me why I don't ever play violin at the earlier mass? So I told him I go somewhere else real early in the mornings, EVERY morning. I said to him, "I'd tell you where I go, but it's an 'anonymous' place".

I smiled. He smiled.

Then he blurted out, "Are you a friend of (yeah -grin!) Bill W?" Turned out, he is sober 18 years, we just go to different meetings. It shows me how AA in Naples, FL has grown since I went to my first meeting--there were four of them each week here then. Now there are nearly 300 in the area, and it is true, just like in any of the larger cities--one can hide, become completely lost now in AA rooms here.

That's another reason a HOME GROUP is so important to me--and people I sponsor--these days. When I came into AA in Naples, everyone knew everyone else, and if ya didn't see someone for a week or two, the gossip mill generally routed or lured that person out of whatever lethargy, and back into the meeting hall.

These days I must--no, I WANT to--belong to a home group. They know all about me there--the good, the bad, the ugly..and I am all three! What a wonderful thing to be accepted into a group of 80-90 people.

These are men and women who stay silent while I ramble on about one thing or another. God, I pray for them--to not get tired or bored with me...but they probably would still listen, or in politeness, pretend. Paranoiac me: I wonder if they were just pretending this morning? -grin!

TIME FOR A LITTLE GRATITUDE HERE

I am grateful that:

1. If they don't listen to me now--I'll kick their butts!
2. I'm still able to kick their butts
3. I do not have to prove that
4. My bike gets 50 miles per gallon
5. I don't really care how many mpg it gets--I just L.O.V.E. it still, (or moving!) -grin
6. Little things don't bother me any more. HEY! WHAT DID YOU DAMN SAY????!
7. I belong to Two Home groups, a daily, and a weekly meeting
8. I only get to vote in one of them
9. Whichever I choose is OK
10.Dentist was nice to me
11. I could pay him
12. I could tell him it was too much--$350 for each filling
13. Bloggers visit my blog once
14. Some even return
15. Two friends were going to quit blogging, now are staying...I pray!
16. The blogging 'crews' from Texas, Colorado, Canada, W VA, Michigan, Illinois, NC, SC, England, S Africa, Ohio, North East, Missouri, Australia, Bahamas, Caleefohniah, Utah, and other places are all so wonderful!
17. We can trade news, views, reviews and stories, and still be friends
18. I've not met face-to-face a single blogger--wait! am I grateful for that? NO WAY! (except for one!)
19. My daughter is an 'acting' Fire Dept. Lieutenant, next in line...
20. My son is supervisor in a large company
21. My wife, family, are healthy
22. My AA family--I see them every day, and love them--sometimes!
23. Least, but not last--NO! that wasn't stated correctly, oh, well! MY SPONSOR!!!
24. My early morning meetings...and mass...and sponsees...computer, Cat-Bert, etc., etc.

See, I kept the number under 25, right? Well, almost.

I'll be back Blogging on Wednesday March 11, 2009.
No computers where I'm going. OK?

In love and service,
Steve E.

"LET'S ALL STAY SOBER TODAY--OK?"-mc

THE IMPORTANCE OF STAYING SOBER

Saturday was going to be a happy day--as are most of my days. I was met at the door of my 7 AM meeting, by old (she must be 25?) friend Polly, of chocolate chip cookie fame. By the way, Polly has been elected annual chair for the 'cookie' meeting, at which I am the "humble" -grin! librarian. We have a good group of about six actual members , at a meeting which usually hosts 150-200 people. And I do feel the flying sparks of enthusiastic willingness, and a strong spirit of cooperative friendship among the six members.

Well, Polly was at the door when I walked in this Saturday morning. She informed me that a 'special friend', an AA member for a number of years and/or months--more or less--had died by her own desire the night before. So sad. She had tried so hard (too hard? TRIED? Oh my!). "D" was so mixed up. As tragic as it is for me to hear of such happenings, it is even more so when I have a personal relationship with the deceased. We talked briefly...daily. D called Prayer Girl and me two weeks ago, then went to detox, then spent a 'couple daze' in a rehab, then was brought home.

The real tragedy is she left behind a nine-year-old grade schooler, and a thirteen-year-old middle schooler. Also a husband (2 years) and the ex, the children's father, and D's mother--none of whom I know--are now searching their consciences. They are trying to recall who said what, and when, but none of that matters now. To me, this is not about guilt, right, wrong, would-a, could-a, should-a or anything--except a deadly disease. And the disease won the war.

Periodically I am sent a message like this, one of our number dying horribly, suddenly, tragically, and without warning. It brings me back to that realization how deadly this illness IS. The alcoholic sometimes has no defense against the first drink. And after the first one, well--forget it! "D" suffered, true. She was tormented by the demon drugs which have visited so many of us. And sometimes, as in D, those demons camp out...they stay. They just would not let her be.

As sometimes I become enthusiastically nonchalant about the seriousness of this stuff--even while going to many meetings, sponsoring, and mostly walking the walk--I am more than ready to hear the message "...we absolutely insist on enjoying life." Well, that is not the ONLY sentence my Big Book brings me. There are many more sentences, paragraphs, pages, and chapters which stress the importance of taking the Steps, observing the Traditions, attending meetings, telling everything to my sponsor--especially those things I do NOT wish to discuss. Include in those instructions the importance of the maintenance of my spiritual condition, all to help me stay sober.

Truly, I realize that....tonight I am not "covering all the bases". But my mind keeps drifting to the scene of what I was like, what happened, and what I am like now. "D" let us all know what she had been like, we now know what happened (it could happen to any one of us), and we know what she is like now. DEAD!

In love and service...and a heart which hurts,
Steve E.

CLOSE ENCOUNTER

A CLOSE ENCOUNTER!
GOD CALLING?

A few years in the late 1970's I drove a dump truck (sober, OK?). In Florida at that time was a mandatory annual inspection for all motor vehicles. I took my truck in for inspection, and it always passed with colors, especially the air brakes which behaved and performed perfectly. It occurred to me the reason they worked fine: because the truck bed was empty during inspections.

Filled with 12-ton of gravel, sand, or wet limerock, it was all I could do to get the rig to slow down, much less stop. I had to plan my stopping far in advance. One year I had 7 accidents. One of the times I could not stop, SIX stopped cars in front of me all got demolished--Bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam! And my truck drove away undamaged. The fact was, those brakes would not stop under a load. (There is more to this story...another time.)

Around the same time I was a member of a jury panel in a manslaughter case. A motorcyclist had been run down by a dump truck, which had possible brake failure. (The insurance companies wanted me on the jury, thinking I would be favorable to their defending case.) They didn't know me--didn't ask enough questions. Didn't ask the right questions!

Part of the trial evidence was brain matter, and other body-part material found under the wheel wells, and embedded into the tire tread. It was a pretty gory scene with lots of evidence, both pictorial and actual. I've never forgotten. One of the jurors even became ill from viewing evidence and a substitute was called up.

SKIP to thirty years later--this morning--and I'm wondering who EVER checks the brakes on a truck carrying a top-heavy load of many ton of slowly-rolling, mixing, wet concrete?

On my bike, riding from meetings to mass this morning, I narrowly escaped becoming one more Florida Highway fatality statistic. A concrete mixer came shooting through a red light at an intersection through which I had already started (on green). I had instant recall of that long-ago trial. In this morning's heart-stressing moment I almost had to lay my bike down...or be instantly killed.

I did not wish to be the subject of that kind of courtroom litigation, especially were it MY brain material clinging to the underside of truck wheel wells. Flex (my Guardian Angel) was there (I KNOW that! --NO grin.) and the incident was a 'personal' warning for more caution on my part, to "Ride Safe!"

I no longer fear death, but I am certainly not afraid to live either--in fact, I quite prefer it.

I hope Prayer Girl doesn't read this one--she'll 'ground' me! On a cold day WHERE, you say?

(Still sober, and ever so glad to be with you all today!)
In love and service,
Steve E.

LETTER TO A BLOGGER

Li'l Beaver says: "You Betchum, Red Ryder"

A LETTER TO ONE ANONYMOUS BLOGGER

A blogger wrote me concerning a problem they were experiencing, and it was so in tune with some of my own life's trials. In reviewing my own--however reluctant--willingness to humbly ask God to help me in this regard, and to pass along this information (Third Step Prayer) I answered the letter as follows...

TO: (Name Deleted)

Glad to have a chance to talk to you here, in reference to your comment on my blog this morning, and how you see me as "easily meeting and talking with people". It was not always like that. In fact, fifteen years sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, I was as yet quite shy, although beginning to mask it with emotional outbursts of anger, joy, sadness, and the like--I mean real outbursts!

Wow, this could turn into a blong (a long blog-grin!)...but I was very shy as a child. Alcohol, of course alleviated that to some extent. But, as they say., my problems began when I stopped drinking. Before that, drinking solved all my problems. I became reclusive, and isolated like you-know-what--a skeleton in a closet.

"And then one day"...as the story goes, I guess (don't know) I got tired of seeing all these people--some of them with one year sobriety--enjoying life, enjoying themselves and each other while I, with fifteen 'sober' years in AA, embarrassingly sat somewhere alone. I even wrote a poem "I was alone and lonely. Also I spoke to no one, and the world seemed a strange place....etc"

So I began to 'force' myself to talk to strangers. They seemed to be the easiest, because people who didn't priorly know me entertained no prejudgment. Little by little, I just started pretending, by smiling, acting happy, talking to everyone, saying exactly what I thought, no matter what.

I do not hide any more behind words. And now I AM happy! I walk across the street any time we have new neighbors, to meet and greet them. Most are foreigners, Latin, and I can 'feel' their love after a time. I have some stories about that also. Here is one:

An early morning knock at our front door brought me face-to-face with new the owner of the house next door. He is Haitian, could not even speak English. But his sounds and gesturing let me know, that the water company employee was outside shutting off the water supply to our house. I got outside in a hurry. As it turned out, the water company staff had 'fingered' the wrong house, even the wrong street.

This all happened because I went over in December as they were moving in, and offered to help by watching them work -grin! (In times not long back, I'd have never even glanced at the new neighbors, not known where they were from, what work they do, how many children.) I was even then learning to get away from 'me' and into 'others'. How much more beautiful a life does this make? I cannot tell you, since each of us must find our own path in these matters. For me, it makes my life indescribably better, more fulfilled, more at peace, more happy!

Everywhere--yes everywhere--I go on my bike, I wave to people and smile (big). It amazes, it awes me, how many people now wave back and smile with me. They 'know' me now. I always talk with people at meetings who I do not know--I've become real good at that "first responder" type of encouraging, enthusiastic, meeting with a new person.

And now it has become EASY!!!! And I forget how it used to be (in sobriety for years) until you or someone reminds me. So I thank you more than you know--for letting me see what God has done in my life, what I could not do for myself. And NONE of this is my pride, what I'm writing you now...just the way it is. I believe that is why God keeps us blogging--to share with one another what marvelous changes He has brought about in our separate lives, changes we could never have accomplished alone.

Of course I make mistakes, talk out of turn, gossip a little, whisper to a neighbor during a meeting, whatever. I get by with some stuff because of age, and 'time' sober, and 'grinning'. God smiles at me, and I cooperate--daily--which gets me through almost each and every day in a safe, happy way. Nothing could make me happier at this moment however, than that something I wrote here might be of help to you.

And with that all said, I've got to get to a meeting--it's 5:10 AM here. I may use this as my blog tonight, but of course, I would delete your name from it.

Truly, I LOVE your work, your words, your pictures--as do SO many. Thank you for all that you do here and elsewhere!

In love and service,
Steve E.

A "GOD SHOT"!

SAID SHE.....
"WHO? ME?"

ONE OF THOSE "GOD SHOTS"

Since I live in a sort of 'tourist' area, we get lots (LOADS) of northern visitors at our AA meetings. One of six such visitors at this morning's 8 AM meeting introduced herself as being "from DENVER." Well, my ears perked, and I scribbled on my business card, "Do you know a blogger friend of mine--in AA--a girl named Mary Christine, who goes to meetings somewhere around Denver?"

Chairs and tables in this room are set up in a large circle. While walking all the way around the spacious area to deliver my note, I was thinking "Well, the worst she can say to me is..."No!" Guess what? She said, "No!"

Since she was sitting directly across from me in the room, it was quite a walk back to my chair--and the meeting had started, of course. When she shared (don't even recall her name) she mentioned that her brother is also an Alcoholic, that he was in Naples (here) during January. Don't forget, there are literally thousands of us Alkies now in this county.

Again however, my ears perked, but I thought, "Naw, the strange messages I'm receiving--in my head--are totally without merit. Steve, don't even GO there." Being the ever-obedient servant -grin...I WENT there!

The lady had walked over to the coffee warmers and I got up also, and met her at the urn marked "REGULAR"--at least she knew what to drink...only 100 proof for this girl!. What I whispered to her (this is rude, for someone was sharing--sorry) sounded completely stupid to me right as I was saying it (that happens a lot with me!). It sort of went down like this: "Ma'am, if your brother is named Jay, and he lives in CHICAGO, then I am his sponsor, and your mother, who lives here in Naples, has moderate Alzheimer's Disease, And your mother just loves me!" (Never met an Alzheimer sufferer who I didn't like--and who did not like me! Maybe because there is no judgement taking place in either court?)

She looked at me in utter disbelief, nodded, and said, "How do you know all that?" It all happened to be true, what I had told her. Really weird! PG equates our use of the word 'weird' to mean God. It turned out that her brother Jay had suggested she go to our club while in Naples, and that she might run into his Naples sponsor, me.

At first I thought along the lines of "the devil made me do it!" Then I realized it was another of what Zane calls a 'God Shot'. I hope she comes back to the morning meeting, but I don't know why. Her brother Jay DOES call me, by the way. We talk on Sundays. Wait until I tell him what happened here this morning...

Whatever God is up to, I have not a clue. But His ways seem ever stranger to me, as I learn more and more how to follow His will. I hope you enjoyed my true story from Wednesday morning 8 AM AA meeting in front of about 55 witnesses.

Winter is coming to its end, I'll bet you guys can see little pink "baby-bee-sized" buds on trees.

My Thursday begins A/C (After Coffee) with meetings at 6 and 7, and the day will end with a "cookie" meeting at 8 PM. I'll have to tell that joke.

Stay sober today with me. OK?

Sincerely,
Steve E.

PACKED AND ALL READY TO GO!

My luggage is packed and I'm ready to move out
--IF YOU ALL HATE MY JOKE TODAY--Steve E.

GOD IS JUST "TOOO MUCH"

So many (good) AA things happened in our house and others' today, I would not know where to begin, except with the word gratitude--and yes, it WAS an "action" word. Prayer Girl and I both were doing the 12th Step Dance today, and it was fun, and so rewarding. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but God has been and is certainly in charge here. And regardless of the outcome, it is good!

I'm gonna just tell a joke here today, my brain is too fried to sort out the goodies of the day. Here is a PROMISE! If everyone has heard or read this one before, I promise never to post another one on these blogs, except for my little wisecrack-type stuff now and then. OK?

THE NEW MAID

A man dials his home number from work. A strange woman answers. The man says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid", answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid!"

"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."

"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

"Wellll...she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just assumed was her husband."

(The man is immediately VERY angry.) He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

"What do I have to do?"

"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that bitch and the jerk she's with."

The maid puts down the phone. The man hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.

The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"

"Throw them in the swimming pool!"

"What pool?"

"Is this 455-3467?"

Tomorrow is another day...OK?

WORK! OR THE EASIER, SOFTER WAY?

ECONOMY CLASS ............................................ FIRST CLASS

What'll it be, guys and grrls?

Quote for today: "Tonight I am living in the now and am full of gratitude.
--Prayer Girl

Many of us, members of Alcoholics Anonymous--new or long-timers--sit in the meetings and enjoy them. I love the fellowship, the friendships--well, the camaraderie--as it is so different from just a few days (or years) ago. People smile at me, and before long they smile WITH me! How enchanting this all seems.

I listen to the stories, to the sharing, and once in awhile I even HEAR some of it. And THEN I think, "What the hell! I'm getting out of here before they have me distributing wilted flowers and collecting money in front of Walmart".

Then as my head clears I begin to notice that some AA members seem to know what they're talking about. They have that certain air of knowledge, even sometimes wisdom, and impart a certain and confident validity to their words--when speaking about our program. And I ponder, "If only I could think like that, talk like that, be happy like that--without drinking!"

Soon I want what she/he/they HAVE! Some time later, I become "willing to go to any length to get it". And I learn what "it" is they are talking about. "It" is what "they" have! Fancy that...duh.

Also, through a few rather unhappy experiences, I discovered another kind of AA program, practiced by another "kind" of member. This is the program which is basically, "Don't Drink, attend meetings, but do not become involved in service work, step work, or that sponsorship crap. And be SURE to tell others How It Works. Oh yeah!" (Why am I smiling right now?)

Some drift in and out (of AA) and are always "trying"--they say. What's there to TRY, when there's so much to DO!

It surprises me how many "trying" (Hey whatever fits -grin!) members complain--in meetings, and after--about those who seem to have "got it". They complain about the coffee-maker who didn't show up (he has the flu), the world, the financial markets, even complain about the government (well, I might join them on that -grin!).

These members seem unhappy about life in general, their own shaky sobriety in particular--if they even recognize that truth. In a short time can be detected a Prideful self-centeredness which has not been taken away from some or which has returned. Some of what I've described above is "me, too" stuff...of course! I AM Mr prefekt, ya know -grin!

(...who of us is without shortcomings, step forward--WATCH OUT! Let's don't trample on each other in the stampede. Careful of the dog poop there! -grin! Too late! Oh, ya say it isn't "dog"???)

So I find this second type person likely does not have a strong sponsor relationship, and/or does not live this new way of life which I have found in our beautiful TWELVE STEPS and TWELVE TRADITIONS.

Are there only these two types of AA members? Of course not! Are we each one unique? I've always voted for a tad of uniqueness. However, I have chosen "First Class" over "Economy Class". I want to go with, be with, enjoy life with those who have taken and are taking the steps. I pray for those in "Economy Class" and help out when asked. Maybe they will come over and get on the life-saving boat--it's actually become for me, an "easier, softer way". Who would ever have believed?

I'm glad you did not gamble (and lose) that I'd forget the men and women who are depressed, or maybe who suffer from severely low self-esteem. You and We are not the cause of our problems, but we have found a solution! Notice--NOT the answer...the solution! It is that "God could and would if He were sought" (not "caught!").

And if we humbly ask Him, He WILL remove these character problems of ours.

So I hope it is plain to see
Why I'll pray a lot
For those who're not
Taking the steps with me.
--steveroni

Mary C's blog Monday mentioned "Big Book Thumper". Well, I'm certainly one of those, but I did not set out to BE that. It just happened. In fact, while reading Mary Christine's blog "MISSION", I found myself constantly saying, "Yes! That's ME! Yes, why didn't I think of that?" I learned here--again--not to be ashamed of being Roman Catholic, or of loving my church, my family, my AA program, my blogger friends, my COUNTRY, and my God with passion. And thanks to Mary's blog, I've decided I am not here to debate ANY of that!

ABOUT TIME TO CLOSE THIS BLONG!

The following can be found more or less stated in our Big Book, p 55, the only page THIS BB Thumper knows, without looking it up to make sure! -grin! Since my belief IS that God --the Great Reality--is deep down within EACH of us, "for that is the ONLY place He can be found"...I have the right, the pleasure, the honor, of serving--of loving--you ALL, now and Evermore.

sincerely,
thump-a-roni

DO WE HAVE A CHOICE?

SOMETIMES WE MUST MAKE HARD CHOICES

NOTE: I want you all to know, this is an especially happy day for me. I got to chat with, laugh with, and enjoy for the first time, someone who seems like an old friend (well, not OLD old!)--steveroni

PRAY FOR A GIRL NAMED "N"

A girl "N", who has been trying to 'stay' sober--well, it turns out she is not really trying too hard, in my opinion. She has been 'trying' for about 22 years. I'm trying to decide what trying means, in many of these cases where someone claims to be trying to stay sober.

My own history of early sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous did not know or use the word 'trying'. It was rather a history of doing things--and don't give me this crap about "We are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS!" (I 'tried' that once and got nowhere! I even chanted: "Hmmmm!... Hmmmm!...Hmmmm"!)

If I'm not DOING anything in AA, I'm not GOING anywhere in sobriety, peace, happiness, self-fulfillment, being loving and helpful to and for others. I saw others "not doing things". They only seemed to place themselves in that revolving door...or on the downward-hurtling elevator, spiraling into an unhappy life of loneliness, sometimes into that bottomless pit of chaos, sickness, and premature death.

N says often that she wants to stay sober. She claims our famous "...all that's required is a desire to stop drinking..." as her mantra. And she desires to stop, each and every day. Well, so did I have that desire--many times each day--BEFORE I was pulled into the room of my very first meeting. My desire immediately changed to a commitment, to not drink, to come back next week, and to read the Big Book. And I became true to that promise to myself.

I did not really WANT to "not drink"--hell, I wanted to drink so badly that you could take one of the fingers off my right hand..for a quart of vodka, and that is truth! Only thing which kept me from drinking was that I might honor my commitment--"don't drink, and come back next week", they said. (I was a bartender six nights and "did AA" on my night off.)

And so the hours became days, which soon were weeks, which merged into months, which added themselves up to years, and here I am, still honoring my commitment to me, One-Day-At-A-Time! And now I go to meetings (and blogospheres) where I feel welcome, at home, respected, appreciated and supported. I hang around in AA recovery places--on or off-line--where I might be of some help to someone now and then, and where--as in the TV CHEERS--everyone knows my name. Actually, I do not really need "everyone to know my name", it just sounded cute to me to write that! -grin!

I sponsor three people right now, one 23-year long-timer (I see him at meetings), one short-timer (he calls), and one four-year guy who is in Chicago at this time. But boy!, do I have some stories about people God has sent me with whom to work...in years past. Some good blog material...

This has been so far a positively wonderful ride, and there's no reason to get off the bus now, since I finally have an idea where it is headed.

As someone reminded me on the telephone tonight, "God does not need my help, but He DOES ask my cooperation."

Please pray for N. She does not have many more shots at this thing. Thank you.

May the God within you, and the God within me, help us to share what we have with one another, in true love of the spirit.

Sincerely,
Steve E

ONE WORD (or more) ANSWERS

I'D RATHER BE FLYING!

ONE WORD (OR MORE!) ANSWERS:

Try this on your own blog, if you wish. We can all get to know each other just a little bit better. I copied this list from dAAve's blog, then changed answers to my own. Thank you Dave!

1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket
2. Your significant other? Other room on phone w sponsee
3. Your hair? Color of autumn leaf--in December
4. Your mother? Fine pianist/entertainer...dead
5. Your father? Deaf-Blind Farmer...dead
6. Your favorite thing? Suzuki Bergman 650 scooter
7. Your dream last night? Won't tell--but I needed adult supervision
8. Your favorite drink? coffee, coffee, and coffee, in that order
9. Your dream/goal? Peace, and capability to L.O.V.E.
10. The room you’re in? Great room
11. Your fear? Comatose: hearing and seeing and understanding, but no one knows it!
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Colorado or NC
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you’re not? YOUNG! DRUNK! DEAD!
15. Muffins? All kinds made by Perkins Restaurants
16. TWO of your wish list items? New computer and Electric Violin
17. Where you grew up? Cincinnati
18. The last thing you did? Prepared for morning the automated coffee maker
19. What are you wearing? You don't want to know
20. Your TV? Panasonic 46"
21. Your pet? cat--Bert
22. Your computer? Custom made (Puget) desktop
23. Your life? Could not be BETTER...
24. Your mood? 98% of time---UP!
25. Missing someone? YES!
26. Your car? Mazda Pickup
27. Something you’re not wearing? If I tell the truth, Pam will write and say "Put them ON, Steve"
28. Favorite store? Home Depot
29. Summer? LOVE it (Naples FL)
30. Favorite color? blue
31. Why did you laugh last? Joke played on me by Flex (Guardian angel)
32. Why did you cry last? reading blogs by Indigo, and also MILE 191
33. Who will repost this? Lots of people, mostly guys???
34. A place I go over and over: 24 Hour Club
35. Someone who emails me: POUTY BABY (Susan) and Carl L.
36. Place I would rather be right now: Flying: anywhere! Small plane.

More serious stuff tomorrow night, pardon this laziness on my part tonight -grin!

May God grant Peace to us all, and Sobriety today...
Love,
Steve E.