Sunday, December 28, 2008



This picture is steveroni playing violin for a class at an
all-girls' high school in Cincinnati OH


All day Friday I was in a rare (for me) funk. Of course, I did not tell you all about it, because (some) men do not like to admit they are 'depressed'. Me, well, I just like to 'suffer through it', never knowing for sure the cause, although many friends (and wife) are ready with quick responses for: "Why is this happening to me?" Usually my 'off' days are just that...one day.

So, I asked David (Prayer-Man?) at a meeting to pray for me, that I was in a bad place--the day after Christmas. I DO know why, though...now! Self centeredness brings on--in me--an unawareness of certain behaviors, of which I an shamefully aware of later, e.g., the old story: I am hardly ever home, and when I am at home, I'm still 'not home'. Didja understand THAT?

So, Friday evening I was depressing and riding my motorized scooter down the busy Parkway at about 60 mph in a 35 mph zone, when my cell phone burst forth with it's beautiful melodious tones. When my phone goes off, other drivers leave me alone, it's quite a blast. On the other end of the line was an out-of-work, out-of-jail mechanic, needing a ride Saturday morning to a meeting...brand new to AA, well, as it turns out, brand new AGAIN!

Also I'm to meet with another out-of-work mechanic at the same meeting. Guess what I'm saying here is that God is doing for me what I could not do for myself--which is, lift me out of my 'black' mood. So, to shorten the story, blah, blah, mechanic #2 called saying he had a job interview. Good, I can sure appreciate that.

By the end of the meeting I had ascertained (big damn word!) that the other one, mechanic #1 was a no-show, also a no-call. So I called him and said that It didn't bother me if he stayed sober, or drank, or drugged, but it DID bother me that he didn't have the human decency to call...he will call next time, if there even IS a next time. I kinda hope there is at least one more time....

However, the whole situation got me to a terrific meeting that I used to attend with regularity. And it was GOOD to see those 19 guys and 2 girls still hanging in there sober, helping one another, and sharing like they were 'family'. And I'm back to my old self. And I can hardly wait to tell David that YES, his prayer was answered! And I am happy to report that God IS accessible to the troubled, and the untroubled.



Kristin H. said...

Big hug-a-roni.

Mary LA said...

Loved this post Steve -- I have a sneaking suspicion that service is the secret to happy selfless sobriety!



Shadow said...

hugs to you. we're all human. and emotions do go up and down. glad you're on the up again!

Kathy Lynne said...

{{{{steve a roni}}}}

pat said...

Funk? You? Not possible. Happy New Year.

Syd said...

Glad that you posted about your funk and what it took to get out of it. Helping others, getting out of self, I like that.

Hope said...

When things like this happen to me I often look back with a "I got out of myself despite myself" realization. Thank God we don't have to do it on our own. Much as I try.

steveroni said...

God, thank you bloggers. Your comments are SO helpful, like a validation, like an "OK...job done. Now get on with your program!"

And it WILL be a HAPPY 2009. (Is that what's called an affirmation?I'm really not sure".)

Gabriella Moonlight said...

One of those great God Shot moments and am so grateful that today my prayers are taken care of by a Higher Power who knows what I need because I certainly don't.

Steve-o-Roni...you and PG are amazing.

Thank you,

Akannie said...

They told me over and over...

Clean House. Trust God. Help Others.

It's a pretty deliberate path, but my life is ALWAYS easier when everyone does what I want them to do.

Dang it!


Linda S. Socha said...

After Christmas blues...I sometimes call this one..Alas, I recognize the space...

It can be a bit like climbing out of a hole without benefit of a ladder only to slip back in again as it begins to rain......

although...just picturing you driving on a scooter (speeding?) in traffic was truly enough today to make me smile.. Also... I thought...Hey I want a scooter:>)

Good Post Steve. I appreciate you Roni
Linda ( the gal who hardly knows you)

J-Online said...

Glad you're feeling better. I've been taking up a lot of God's time lately. Sorry. I'll stop being so selfish!

steveroni said...

Kristin: steveroni LOVES {{hugs}}!!!
returned back atcha, girl.

Mary LA I never miss a day of yours, it is full of 'service' stories!

Shadow, yep up and down, and around and around!

Kathy Lynne: MORE {{hugs}} OBOY!!
Hugs are a two-way-street?

Pat, I'm glad you spelled "funk" correctly...whew! Took a chance on that word. Thanks for visit.

SYD--Selflessness is a big word, lotssss of esssses! YOU are one of those selfless ones.

Hope, I just keep hoping, as opposed to 'keep hopping'!

Gabi, I'm glad SOMEBODY knows what I need! (Even if it's God????)

Annie, I agree--DANG IT!

Linda, even though you hardly know me, and vice versa--you lucky girl!--next time I speed (5:30 AM Monday) I'll picture you, smiling...(smile!)

J-Online. Jenn, God has plenty of room for ALL of our selfishnesses, when it comes to taking up His time. (He doesn't HAVE what we call 'time'. With God, all eternity is NOW!)

vicariousrising said...

Glad you got out of your funk. Can't have you being all depressed and playing melancholy tunes on the violin. You'd be a terrible cliché! ;) You are too one of a kind for that, Steve-o-roni.

Melitta said...

Hi Steve,

What a wonderful journey through your writing. Please keep it going. I am just now reading what you have written on your travels in sober living. You write so that the reader may, in a way, live vicariously through your writings. By the the way, LOL, "accoutremonts" is bigger
than (oops--forgot the word) the word you said was so long. Have enjoyed reading your blogs, and will continue to do so!!
Thank you for sharing!!!!!!!!!