ANOTHER (sigh) STORY
Long time ago, as a member of an orchestra, I got to travel for six weeks at a time. My memory of those days is that wherever we went, people did not like me. Any time my eyes settled on another's face, I stared into a scowl. Always. I knew then I was alone and lonely in this world, and so I just played my violin, worked the job, and spoke only when necessary.
I became like a hermit surrounded by people--who incidentally hated me. What a way to live. What a horrible existence. And do you know what? It was ALL in my own head. I did not realize that until much later, like an hour ago?
Now, wherever I go, the 7-11, the Ritz-Carleton, an auto repair place, market, bank, Disney World, an airport, and AA meeting...Peeps TALK to me. They smile with me, acknowledge my humor, and display a genuine liking, a caring for me--and I for them. What happened?
Whatever happened was a change, which did NOT take place overnight. The beginning of my change was I drank myself into a pit of pity, a lair of despair, a world of empty mindlessness. From there, I could climb only upward, for there was nowhere further to go...down.
I was rescued by a complex series of events, happenings which could only have been orchestrated by an outside force, or power. I translated this into a God of my understanding. This Power brought me to a point of surrender to a group of Peeps known as--what else?--alcoholics. Alcoholics Anonymous.
I now know that as people began being nice to me, it was not "THEY" who changed. It was, yep...ME! Sure, I slip now and then in this regard. And I try my best to make amend. But when simply rejected, I move on, but not completely. Being far from perfect, I hurt as well as anyone. But having once nearly destroyed myself BY myself, I vow not to let that happen again, by me or another.
So my world, inside me and outside, is a far better place than before. And sobriety has given me life again, and freedom to be me, and a functioning mind (again) to know who "me" is. And I am so grateful for all these gifts.
One who has been a friend of mine for more than a year, has written an "OTHER-than-average" piece on her blog yesterday. It is long, but quite interesting and spiritual. If you have a few moments, please go visit the blog of MILE 191. Her blog title is "Come Into My Closet". Thank you to whoever visits there and leaves a comment.
No resentments...it is
"against the law!"