Tuesday, March 9, 2010



Take away my shoes
Take away my socks
Take all of my toys
Even my building blocks

I'll keep my Hershey bars.
Drive away my two cars
Take away my favorite bike
Help yourself to what you like

Carry off my so precious fiddle
On the hill play "Hey Diddle Diddle"
If you dare touch my Hershey Bars
You'll be the first on Planet Mars....

S'pose you know by now
That I've gotten fat--even how.
(By eating lots of cacao bean
Hiding it, so's not be seen)

So never ever even think
Offering me spicy food or drink
Will wrap me up and tie me in a knot
To loosen the hold on my chocolate.


For a week now I have been trying to "watch what I eat" read: not eat.  Just want to lose a few pounds, say 20-30 or so.  Anyway, I am only FOUR fewer than when I started,  according to some.  But I see it as a total loss of EIGHT pounds, because had I continued on my  ch-ch-ch-chocolate-and-cheese diet I would have gained four pounds. Is 4+4 not 8?

If anyone has bothered to read that paragraph...does it make sense?  I mean, my arithmetic!

After years of becoming and achieving the status of a stark-raving-raging-mad  chaos-driven (and fat!) alcoholic, the arithmetic I learned was 0 drink + 1 drink = Total drunken wreckage!  Because one drink ALWAYS (I NEVER had "just one") led to another and another, until...sweet oblivion. Understand that for YEARS it was not like that...but, little-by-little my body adjusted to the drug amounts, and I had to keep having more and more...just in order to get the "effect", to "again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once from taking a few drinks...".

If I went to a party, I ALWAYS brought my own bottle, so I would not be embarrassed to drink whatever I (by then) needed, to be really and truly what I determined as social.

AND...I was forever the great pretender, pretending that I was shober-ash-a-shJudgeh in any situation. I prided myself on my capability--capacity--to drink more than anyone, and be able to "hold my liquor". What a farce! The few Peeps who cared at all wondered, "How long before he dies?" (I was age 38-40 then.) And I guess I was really trying to kill myself with alcohol.

Well, in AA I found out that I had ZERO tolerance for alcohol.  The only way I could live was to NOT take the "first drink". Finally that made sense to me.  Simple, yes.  Easy? No!  But anyone will have to admit this works...if I don't take that first drink I will never get drunk.  For me it is the only thing which works.

Soooo, back to my diet.  If I stop eating, I'll never get fat and I'll die!  On the other hand, when I stopped drinking, I THOUGHT I was dying...and soon began to live, and later to really live, and now--sometimes--to be blest with a peacefulness beyond understanding.

Go figure!

Meanwhile, will you try please, to:
Stay sober with me today?
Smile today, with me?
Harbor no ill will or resentments today?
Be at PEACE today?
Be full of LOVE today?



Steve E said...

c h o c o l a t e

Nevine said...

Love you, Steveroni. Love chocolate too! Maybe if I don't take that first bite, I won't get hooked into the next and the next and the next. I know how it goes... But it's so hard... but I'll try.

And thanks for giving us a glimpse of you. It doesn't compare with seeing you face to face, but still... you know what I mean, right?

Oh, and btw, POEM! Indeed!

I'm smiling and peaceful and filled with love, as long as I'm reading you. :-)


Ily said...

Chocolate...so much better than alcohol. I have to agree with you and your farout-funky poem.

Secretia said...

Anything to the extreme is bad for us. Somethings are bad in any amount. Each thing, each day, it's a whole new experience.


Madison said...

Based on the photo in the previous post, you may not be able to drink but you sure don't have to worry about your weight. Load up on the chocolate, baby.

Madison said...

p.s. You're pretty cute. Who knew?

Indigo said...

Maybe use the chocolate as a reward. You have to earn it to enjoy it. Say a long walk (not just around the corner) gets you a bite size piece. After awhile the walks and excercize will be habitual and you'll be satisfied with a little chocolate instead of a lot. Works for me. I have to write 2000 words to get one small piece of Dove's raspberry chocolate. Trust me it taste better when you've earned it. (Hugs)Indigo

chitowngreg said...

I believe the Big Book actually suggests chocolate as an alternative to alcohol somewhere. I agree with you, though, abstinence is a whole lot easier than moderation!

G-Man said...

You need to diet?
You sure look great to me brother!
Glad to see you out and about..
Thanks for visiting Maestro...G

Steve E said...

Nevine: Your comments, wow! I can't wait to read them, they make me want to "bust my buttons!" Thank you, one of the Queens of our blogworld.

Ily: Another Miami chocolate lover--there must be several million of us there. Thank you for your frequent visits. I like yours ALSO!

Secretia: I should listen to you, oh counselor. You are wise (also a
pragmatist). Hope that is not a *bad* word, because you are nothing but GooooD!

Madison: Chocolate, as with everything else--I don't know where or when to stop! But true, I'm not greatly overweight...
Hey, you're cute too--cute HANDS and cute BIRDS--grin! What I really meant to say was...THANKS!

Indigo: I AM going to try that, it sounds like GoooD advice, tried and true. You reading my post makes me happy, I absolutely LOVE your writings.

chitowngreg: Don't know about chocolate in the BB, but a book Living Sober suggests candy. I'll take a good H. Bar whether it's recommended or not! I'm just glad Hersheys is not an addictive
drug. WHAT did I just say? Ha! It's my number ONE addiction now.
(Number TWO???)--grin!

G-Man: Do you realize what an honor it is to have you visit my blog? NOW you do!

You are a funny guy, I mean in the room where I go every morning, half of the Peeps are winter folks from Michigan...wait till I hit them with your post, tomorrow!

Andrew said...

Steve, you are amazing.

Mary LA said...

Balance and moderation in most things -- complete sobriety one day at a time.

JStar said...

Chocolate is my addiction as well :)

Margie said...

Loved your poem, Steve.
And, I think I'll go have a piece of that dark chocolate that hubby brought home for me last night.
So love it but always in moderation!

Always, so love your messages and I shall smile with you today and be full of love today and harbor no ill will or resentments and be at peace.

I wish you much joy today!

Margie :)

drybottomgirl said...

I came over to peek in your world..and I ended up laughing out loud! In the last two years I have gained 50 LBS. thanks to my worship of the bottle and anything else I could plop in my body! You are not alone...this battle with weight...it pisses me off 'cause there are a lot of skinny alcoholics at the meetings and I'm not one of them! My sponsor also told me to not worry about the weight right now just my sobiety, so yesterday upon takine her advice my oldest child and I split a Godiva milk chocolate bar...hmmm my feelings are mixed but it was heavenly! Looking forward to exploring through your blog...

Syd said...

I am glad to not be a chocolate addict. It seems that most alcoholics I know crave chocolate and sweets. I would like to get back into my 32" waist jeans which are a little tight right now. So I'm just cutting back too.

Kay said...

I have a goal, each day, and it is very difficult... Eat the rainbow everyday!: Red, Yellow, Orange, Blue, Purple and Green... with all those veggies and fruits in you...who has time for the other things? Well, two dark chocolate calcium tablets with the AM coffee ;) but isn't that the other thing? To have one really good piece of chocolate, rather than the milk or white that never really satisfy...but I guess now we are getting into the 'can never have just one'... hmmmm...? presenting quite a dilemma... I'm smiling with you anyway :)

Love the poem too!

Manon Doyle said...

Loved the poem. Well..... chocolate and cheese are way better for you than alcohol. Keep eating just workout a little harder...lol! Tell yourself that every time you indulge in chocolate you have to go for a three mile walk..... good luck with that! : )
Hey Steve,,,, thank you for your kind words about Renee today on my blog.They were very much appreciated!!

Jon said...

I just dropped by...I respect people playing violin because I believe it's very difficult to learn. So amazed that you learnt it all by yourself in a house barn

Dulce said...

I happen to love too!... and chocolate

Sharmon Davidson said...

Steve, I think I can do almost all of those other things- but don't ask me to give up chocolate! Yikes!

Nessa said...

I want one of those mirrors.

Flash 55 - Avian Love