Wednesday, August 11, 2010



I love looking at pictures
Of people, places and things
I search them out, to view again
.....Again and then the
Dammmm phone rings...

"Hey YOU! Did receive my photos?"
Of course I did, my Baybeeee
I wish to look more and see
You. But where are your clothes?

You were else nought
But very bold
At the same (Wow!) hot
But very cold

Thank you again
For what you send
I SO love the view
And I SO love YOU

Riinnnnggggg! That phone again?
Nope! Alarm clock telling me time
To awaken. Just how
Am I supposed to now
Get up and push that plow?
No dreams tomorrow night of mine


In the late thirties and early forties I lived with a group of six "bachelor farmer" type men
(Army rejects) and my family. Looking backwards, I know there were many dreams in that farmhouse...mostly of girls, nakedness, drinking, fun, and fun, and not much else. Not yet age ten, I was secretly one of those dreamers.

Never once did I say to myself in the mirror, "Hey, you...steveroni. Maybe one day YOU can drink a pint of Muscatel before breakfast, be drunk before dinner, and not remember supper. Then Steve, YOU can also lead a life of pure (false) guilt and misery, and be filled with a hundred forms of fear, paranoia, resentment, anger and jealousy.

And you can finally graduate (Oh! finally?) into the ranks of daily drinker, daily drunk. And one day your GOD (alcohol) will turn on you and leave your heart and soul bleeding. Instead of making yourself believe you were above--better than--the others, your God of 20+ years will say 'fuck you', steveroni, as He abandons you.

 Then that God--alcohol--will look for millions who have not lost much yet, and proceed to lead them down the same dark stairway to hell-on-earth. Now, Steve--isn't that an ideal life--he way you WANT it to be?"

Alcoholism, the killer disease, wants me and countless others DEAD. Alcoholism tells me I do not have a disease--just a slight lack of will power. Alcoholism is patient, having until the end of time! I don't have that long.

Peeps! Without any intention of doing so, I really got on the soapbox this time, right? Well, I wish for everyone here who needs and wants it, to experience the peace, love, and happiness which has been given freely to me through the AA program, the lives and life it has redeemed.



Sam Liu said...

You are very wise, Steveroni and you are so right, alcoholism is a terrible thing. Thank goodness for people and organisations helping those who find themselves in that situation :)

Brian Miller said...

i am glad you made it through to stand on that soapbox for al that need to hear steve...

Carol said...

It's amazing what our bodies can take.

Syd said...

Glad that you made it to AA. So many don't.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Excited your going to be cruzin' through our little coastal burg to share a little bit of your freedom ride and have accepted the invitation to tell how Steve
"...in the personal stories, describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God" at one of my favorite places to be on Saturday night. :)

Some day I hope to meet Anna too!

I send my prayers and love to you (and Anna) as you prepare for this journey!

Superfluous Brunette said...

I love your soapbox! It's so honest and raw. One who truly walked in the dark and saw!

I believe there are so many gifts hidden in the dark, and you have found yours!