HODGEPODGE....
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
You probably have not noticed that somewhere on these blogs, or in comments, once a day, I purposefully write out the words "Alcoholics Anonymous". And when I give a talk, I'm sure to say those words a couple times. (BTW, last night's talk at the 'cookie' meeting went real well--it's finally come to be FUN for me when I'm asked to give a talk!)
There is a reason why I prefer to use the words, instead of just "AA". Of course, we all know for what the acronym "AA" stands. But it keeps me better focused on the real meaning of the two most important words in my life ever. Alcoholic, that's the real ME! And Anonymous, which is often NOT me. I do SO need the humility which comes with anonymity. I have a need to hear those two words spoken aloud by either me or someone else--often and daily.
THE DOUBLE "A"
Couple years ago I knew a recovering alcoholic, who always (well, for two months!) referred to our society as the "Double A". He only said that at eleven meetings, because he got drunk after that, and no one has seen him since. Salute to the "Double A".
BEETLES' "YESTERDAY"
"Yesterday.......
...all my troubles seemed so far away,
...as I returned from comatose;
...and I began to breathe again."
HERE WAS ME:
I found this paragraph in our Big Book--it defines EXACTLY my characteristic drinking/sleeping behavior for the two or three years before I was led to Alcoholics Anonymous. .....
"And I remembered the creeping horror of the interminable night, in which I slept for short spells and woke dripping with cold sweat and shaken with utter despair, to drink hastily from my bottle, and mercifully pass out again."
Edit: (And again, and again, and again. Then morning came, fucking, crappy-day morning.)
'You're insane, you're insane, you're insane' pounded through my brain with each returning ray of consciousness...and I drowned the refrain with alcohol."
--Taken from a story in Big Book: "WOMEN SUFFER TOO", pg 224 (3rd Edition)
ME TODAY:
You could not find a more consistently happy guy on this planet! (Ask my wife, Anna. She thinks I am TOO happy!) I am sober, and at peace--at least for today--with my Higher Power, Whose Name is God. I LIVE for waking, and enjoy from the first sip of coffee, my activities, which these days are mostly AA-or St Elizabeth Church-related. I love my family, my AA friends, and other friends. Especially my Blog-world friends do I love--sometimes I believe you are the closest relationships I have. Maybe that's bad, I don't think so. My Higher Power speaks to me often during a given day through you wonderful people. Thank you, thank you!
inheavenonearth-a-roni
11 comments:
Well said, my Floridian friend.
and stay so happy. you are a breath of fresh air!
Your post really spoke to me this morning. Your blog friends love you too ya know...or this one does.
Please continue to be our Steve-O-Happy. I need my daily dose.
You are an inspiration!
Thanks for affirming my insanity. There is nothing so terrible than to know something is wrong, but not be capable of figuring it out. I alone could not discern, reason, or fight my way out. It took Alcoholics Anonymous and God. Then I knew I was not different. Then I found I was not insane except when it came to alcohol. Then I knew I could rely and recover. BG
LOL...oh, Pollyanna-o-roni,
I love you madly. (In fact, I do everything madly).
You know, it's true:
"God's got a DEAL for drunks that don't drink"
I wish I could have heard your stiry last night.
Some day.....
xoxoxoxoxox
when I am talking in a meeting I never say "our program" or "our big book". I always say "our beautiful program" and "Our beautiful big book"
That's "BEAUTIFUL", Pam. Thanks! I'll remember that next Saturday night...and I'll tell them where I heard it first!
I think AA people need to be made aware occasionally, how on-line AA (especially blogging) is a very important adjunct to our face-to-face program--at least to MINE. And that's what's important to me. I've been a part of AA online groups for years, and there is loads of BS out there...but very little, if any, HERE.
Steve
Egads, that description is definitely what I was like. It was such an ugly cycle I never, ever want to get caught in again.
Just catching up with you. I'm happy for your happiness. That makes two of us that are happy.
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