You probably have not noticed that somewhere on these blogs, or in comments, once a day, I purposefully write out the words "Alcoholics Anonymous". And when I give a talk, I'm sure to say those words a couple times. (BTW, last night's talk at the 'cookie' meeting went real well--it's finally come to be FUN for me when I'm asked to give a talk!)
There is a reason why I prefer to use the words, instead of just "AA". Of course, we all know for what the acronym "AA" stands. But it keeps me better focused on the real meaning of the two most important words in my life ever. Alcoholic, that's the real ME! And Anonymous, which is often NOT me. I do SO need the humility which comes with anonymity. I have a need to hear those two words spoken aloud by either me or someone else--often and daily.
THE DOUBLE "A"
Couple years ago I knew a recovering alcoholic, who always (well, for two months!) referred to our society as the "Double A". He only said that at eleven meetings, because he got drunk after that, and no one has seen him since. Salute to the "Double A".
...all my troubles seemed so far away,
...as I returned from comatose;
...and I began to breathe again."
HERE WAS ME:
I found this paragraph in our Big Book--it defines EXACTLY my characteristic drinking/sleeping behavior for the two or three years before I was led to Alcoholics Anonymous. .....
"And I remembered the creeping horror of the interminable night, in which I slept for short spells and woke dripping with cold sweat and shaken with utter despair, to drink hastily from my bottle, and mercifully pass out again."
Edit: (And again, and again, and again. Then morning came, fucking, crappy-day morning.)
'You're insane, you're insane, you're insane' pounded through my brain with each returning ray of consciousness...and I drowned the refrain with alcohol."
--Taken from a story in Big Book: "WOMEN SUFFER TOO", pg 224 (3rd Edition)
You could not find a more consistently happy guy on this planet! (Ask my wife, Anna. She thinks I am TOO happy!) I am sober, and at peace--at least for today--with my Higher Power, Whose Name is God. I LIVE for waking, and enjoy from the first sip of coffee, my activities, which these days are mostly AA-or St Elizabeth Church-related. I love my family, my AA friends, and other friends. Especially my Blog-world friends do I love--sometimes I believe you are the closest relationships I have. Maybe that's bad, I don't think so. My Higher Power speaks to me often during a given day through you wonderful people. Thank you, thank you!