WE STOOD AT THE TURNING POINT
A topic at the "New Dawn" Group 7 AM meeting Tuesday morning will be "The turning Point". I know this because I am chairing. Whatever topic one of the 65 people might wish to suggest, I can easily work it around to "Turning Point"! (NOTE: I prefer the 6 AM meeting, usually from 10-15 people.)
This evening, I got to thinking over some of the numerous turning points in my life, before and after I walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. AA saved me from a horrible period of continuing suffering, which probably would have have been followed by a horrendously painful and early death, that's true. But AA provided me a wonderful second (chance at) life of spiritual growth, usefulness, and participation in the game of enjoying this earthly existence.
The preface to today's turning point blog, is that I had my last drink the night BEFORE I entered into the inner sanctum of this fellowship , so wrongly named as one of the "self-help" programs, available to the insanity-laden drunk. This is an "unself" program, it is centered around "Selflessness". Each of our Twelve Steps begins with an invisible word "We", which actually IS the first word in the First Step. We don't drink, we go to meetings, and we help others--and we do lots of other stuff -grin-.
One year after I became a non-drinking member of AA, I came home--sober--one evening to an empty house. Gone was my wife, my children, all utensils, all furniture, I mean EMPTY! There was an old telephone on the floor, unplugged. I figured someone forgot to grab it on the last trip out. I was so heart broken. My spirit was gone. My 'feel-good' felt bad. I was shaking, sweating, my stomach felt as if I had been punched. And I was again "Alone and Lonely. I knew that loneliness such as few do. But all that was nothing that a good quart of vodka could not take care of, and make "all better"--instantly!
And I wrestled with this problem for a good length of time. Finally, I plugged into the socket that old phone and called our 24-hour Club. It was 8:50 PM. I asked whoever answered to send someone to my house NOW! I hurt bad, was only an inch from a drunk. Well might I never have recovered from that one.
Fifteen minutes later Tim came to my house, and he sat, listened, and watched, as I moaned and cried--more like sobbed. And he hugged me. First time ever a MAN showed that unexplainable love for me, that compassion, that identifying moment, as if to say to me,
I've been where you are.
And I have been given a way out of my chaos.
I can show you the way,
if you are willing to work and learn,
and let God do the things you cannot."
Tim was my second sponsor. Often I think of Tim, and thank God for putting him into my life.
I realize each of us have similarly-placed events which we recall from time to time. Very few events in this life do I own. Well, this one I own. This one is mine! It is one of my most cherished early gifts.
NOTE: The second most prevalent "Turning Point" in my AA life happened during the past three months, that of being able to see myself more clearly--and at the same time meet all of you bloggers--on a daily basis, by writing and commenting. And it has been good for me. And I LOVE it, no mistake about that!
Thank you! With great gratitude,