DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Sunday, October 12, 2008

NOT ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

As Long As We Keep Clean Our Side of the Street

As you may notice, this Blog has no reference to our wonderful program.
I attended four meetings today, and just wanted the rest of the day day OFF!
But didn't want to miss a day on the BLOG. Is that addiction, or what?

Guess I'm a bit 'down.
My Dolphins blew it today.

I feel like the Indian who, when he saw that his dog had jumped off the cliff, said "Doggone!"
That's where we got the expression.

(Stayin' in the day in a doggone, sober, dog-day sort of way--but HAPPY...HAPPY! -grin-)
Sorry, Pam!


TO GOD
FROM:
THE DOG


Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?


Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the' Chrysler Beagle'?

(Editor Note: There IS the Greyhound Bus, ya know!)

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?


Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.


Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.


1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it OR after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.


5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.


6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.


7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.


8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.


9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.


11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.


12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S.

And, Oh Yes! Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
OH, Thank You, thank you, THANK YOU!!!

Posted by a VERY grateful doggie

14 comments:

AlkySeltzer said...

BOW-WOW! BOW-WOW! BOW-WOW!

Thought I'd beat ya to it -grin-

Shadow said...

oh this is just the sweetest!!!!! thanks for the smile. now i'm gonna read this to my pups, seeing as they understand so much...

J-Online said...

Ok Steve E. Didn't know how important this game was to you. I take BACK EVERY COMMENT in regards to it. There's always a next time ya know

~Tyra~ said...

LOL! I love that!

AlkySeltzer said...

To the two "new" people reading these today:

j-online (Houston) is referring to the game of FOOTBALL, man...as in "Miami Dolphins"


yeah....


"foolball" -grin-

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I have that letter posted on my fridge for my dogs!!! They pretty much get all they want as their side of the street is always clean...it's always love! I absolutely adore the pic though!!! Made me smile the largest grin ever as I wish my dogs would learn to do that~!LOL!!!!

Thank you,
G

Sobermojo said...

Steve,

The Dolphins are a lot like an alcoholic. They keep fooling themselves into believing they can run that wildcat O each week and no one will notice. No worries my AZ Cards are in the same boat. Pretnding to be an NFL team when they need some serious rehab, LOL

Cat said...

This is one I need to forward to all my dog loving friends - thanks!

vicariousrising said...

That photo is just too funny.

Every day not screwed up by my drinking is a day to grin, that's for sure. :)

J-Online said...

Just checking on you Steve-E. Sorry about yesterday

Zanejabbers said...

WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. Cute!

TraceyBaby said...

Darn it, Steve. We're both cranky today?

:-(

Syd said...

You have me laughing. These are so true about dogs. The dragging of butts and licking them is classic. Thanks for a good laugh.

Patty said...

Thanks for the (grin).