WATCH OUT! SOME "GOD" STUFF AHEAD....
GOOD STUFF?
GOOD STUFF?
What a wonderfully busy and spiritual weekend this was. For several years I've been more or less (MORE!) riding high on this 'pink cloud' of being happy, experiencing great peace, and sometimes even serenity (being at peace in the midst of turmoil). I thought three years ago I was going to soon die, because I figured the tranquility in my life at that time was reserved for the dead, not the living.
No longer do I believe that way. But my love for life has continued in an upward spiral. I ask some long-timers, how can this be, how can it last, my voracious appetite for wanting, desiring, yearning for a better life, when it is already "better"?
True, there are the continuing usual health problems, love problems, family problems, 'choice' problems (Prudence) and a lacking in the virtue, Fortitude. And I cannot forget my nemesis PRIDE--holy Sh*t! But at lease, at last, I know who am I, Who God is, and what God wants of me. And it is utter simplicity--the answer. How I so struggled for many decades seeking the solution to my dilemma. The answer, which has evolved for me follows:
I am an alcoholic. I am a part of God's Creation. God is a Spirit. God is without gender, neither 'She' nor 'He' nor 'It'. God resides deep down within me--and within each and every one of us...unless I forcibly, willfully, actively and continuously expel God. God is always waiting, ready, desiring with His Whole Heart, to reenter me. Thank God! -grin
I spurned God for many years, but always deep down, I knew He was somewhere nearby. I 'felt' Him, as in "God! Help me!" For me, it is as in the HOUND of HEAVEN.
Without my knowledge, God brought me to my knees, to the bottom of my pit, to my point of no return via my "other god"--alcohol. What horrors, the unchanging turmoil, constant bickering/fighting, the spilled blood, the horrors, chaos, the unwillingness to change, EVER. I do not dwell on this period of my life, but I DO remember it, if needed to show someone else where I've been...and to where I've come to be.
Which is the next part. NOTE: Here, birds sing, vibrant colors break out of their mazes, into heavenly art, everyone loves everyone, we are all equal yet different, peace reigns, and I AM SOBER. Praise God! Yes, now I can truly say it was God Who brought me to Alcoholics Anonymous, and God used you people to bring me back to Him.
It is a comfortable place to be, today...sober, and with God. TODAY! When uneasiness enters into my life, due to any activity, I must (however reluctantly? -grin) check my motive for doing whatever is producing that feeling. Thank You God, for these Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, AA members, and especially YOU BLOGGERS! I depend on you--and that whole last sentence-- for my daily nourishment, and I wish you all peace, and I LOVE you all! AMEN?
Sincerely,
Steve E.
(Who published this...and WHEN???)
19 comments:
I think that there's always room to be better, to improve. Like I've always heard, it's the journey and not the destination. If I've already arrived, then what more is there? I want to keep feeling better and moving forward. Each day has a new challenge. That is my motivation.
Your post made me smile - thanks for that today!
Life is pretty darned amazing, isn't it?
*grin*
So much truth and so many blessings!
Amen...Praise Alla...Namaste...Blessed Be!!
"But my love for life has continued in an upward spiral. I ask some long-timers, how can this be, how can it last, my voracious appetite for wanting, desiring, yearning for a better life, when it is already "better"?
See thats it isnt it. Asking old timers. They are still there to give us the example of how to live this programme. And you steveroni hav ebeen around for a good length of time yourself. But you still ask. Isn't that great.
Thanks for your example.
I wish God would call me on the telephone and say, "Jen this is what I want you to do for me..." and just clue me in.I guess it doesn't work that way. jeNN
still figuring this stuff out....
so grateful to have shared pieces of your heart and experience this weekend...God sure does have some free reign in your life.
Your joy is contagious! I LOVE it!
good s***t!
Some decade maybe I can get there too.
dAAve, you are already there...it's just that some (me) take much more time than others to reach a certain 'place'. Then, it's onward...AGAIN!
As you know, there's always MORE...
Steve E.
We had our 62nd AA Aniversary convention in Tyler this weekend, and as usual, it was AWESOME. The speakers always take me to a new level of "spiritual awakening" every time I go. One said, "I live in AA, and visit the world". I have learned that I'm the one that abandoned God, not the other way around. For a former agnostic, wannabe atheist (D/T fear of God, hard to not believe in something you are afraid of) this is quite a miracle! And I am so grateful. Pam
it's all in the way we get to where we are. thanks for your lovely and positive thoughts!
Instead of first comment, it looks like I am last. (Hey, doesn't "It" say something about the first shall be last and the last shall be first?)-VBG-
Anyway.......
What a great picture. Where in the world did you ever find it? It's just perfect.
Always,
Your Prayer Girl
We have a wonderful God don't we? Thanks for the uplifting post.
Yep, that's the only way I'll ever play the piano. Great post.
Zane...LOL!
Did you mean, though...that "the piano would play YOU?"
Either way, you always ring in a good tune, when you blog around here. AND when you comment. Thanks
Oh dear Steve a change a roni you are amazing and this is a great post and I thank you for bringing me a smile and helping me work toward action and more action.
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