DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Saturday, January 31, 2009

LETTER "H"

THE LETTER H

Yep, I thank Judith "Vicarious Rising" for assigning to me the letter "H". And so I have listed a whole bunch of FAVORITE words beginning with the letter "H". I like this game, and the second time was even more fun than the first! Thank you and HUGS {{{J}}} to you--Vicariously, Judith.


Steve E.

Notice the "Lemonade" Award (upper right on page)...I am really happy with that, it's from Calli, who thinks I have an "attitude of Gratitude" (and most of the time, that is correct--I try to write that humbly, but there's no way!) Thank you Calli. This is one award I really appreciate!

If anybody wants to play this game, just ask me in 'comments', to send you a letter of MY choosing, ya heah, Zane! -grin.


HOME:
Home is where I live, where I am most comfortable, where I can be really, really me. Actually, it used to be the ONLY place I could be me, but now, just about anywhere is "home".
Home also has that very special meaning for me, as that moment someone met Anna and me at the front door of Dr Bob's house and uttered those words: "WELCOME HOME"...I got shivers and bumps of geese -grin!
Home is also the heaven, which--if there IS one--I wish to join in residence when the time comes.

HOPE:
When all else fails, when the dark times descend into my mind, my being, my heart, the single most effective action for me is to hope. Hope is this case means--to me--"trust". Trust, that God will provide, or He will soon remove my encumbrances. And I may then be again free. Free to seek His will for me, and free to ask for the power to do it. And free to be willing to receive that power, and use it!

HOUR:
The song goes, "What a difference a day makes--Only twenty-four hours..."! Well, what a difference ONE hour made in my life...that FIRST hour, that "DO or DIE" hour. I have heard frequently through the years in A.A. meetings, that we alcoholics have no "will power". That statement has no validity, IMO. My first few weeks of not drinking were precarious. Every fiber of my being CRIED OUT for alcohol. Of course, God's grace helped me, but it was I who had to "not take a drink, NMW...No Matter What!" And that took will power, of which it was said I had none! I told them I didn't drink for one week! they said, it wasn't you, it was God. Bull Shit! It was ME who sweat and strained, body aching and racked with pain. It was ME who toted the barge, lifted the bale. It was ME, already--so early in sobriety--doing God's Will, receiving His Power to help carry it out.

HABIT:
Not drinking became a habit--not much else did. Sleep became a habit, also even MORE fear, paranoia. NOTE: BEFORE I stopped drinking alcohol, I simply blotted out all those defective personality traits, ALL of them. So I did not even know I HAD any! Not that anything might become so habitual, that I don't even think of it...BUT...I am such "in the habit" of going to meetings, that if I miss ONE of my two daily, I feel a small emptiness inside me, like something of today is unfinished.
And I DO know that even though 'not drinking' is now a habit, I must be ever watchful for a shrinking of my daily "good" habits which keep me NOT DRINKING!

HEAT:
Oh, how I love to be warm. Moved to Florida 44 years ago to get warm, and been happy about THAT aspect of my life ever since then. I've often wondered why ANYONE would want to live in a "cold" climate...but that's just ME, I guess. I LIKE HOT!

HARMONY:
Since I AM a musician, a symphony violin player, harmony seems a likely favorite word. True I do enjoy beautiful music, and even not-so-beautiful (sometimes!). However, the harmony I REALLY am thinking of here, is harmony between PEOPLE. That recognition we see in a stranger's eyes, that "all is well" in God's world NMW (No Matter What!). NO MATTER WHAT! And our living together in peace and tranquility, whether at home, or at meetings, or at work or play, how we get along with others determines for me harmony or discord in MY life. True, all cannot be ALL the time "peaches and cream"...but the times of malcontent are so far apart, I do not remember them any more...until one rises. Then--it's "SPONSOR TIME" HELP!!! That's what I mean by "Adult Supervision"...when I behave like a child.

HAT:
I've always been a collector of hats. Shame! I have hats I've worn only one time. I like having plenty of hats--just in case, know what I mean? Big ones, little ones, warm ones, fuzzy winter ones, baseball caps, bike helmets...just in case.

HAY:
As a child on the farm, a big part of our summer was mowing, raking, loading, hauling, baling, storing at least 100 ton of hay. Working long hours, neighbors helped neighbors during critical times--e.g., sick horses, sick hired hands, sick US! Then, toward the end of the season was always a big hay ride, at least it seemed huge to a 10-12 year old. And it was at night. And I got to snuggle with my "older" 15-year-old girl friend, Nellie Jane (She's the one who traded gum with me AFTER we had each chewed it--true love, dontcha know?) I can today, conjure up the smell and feel of hay, in the fields, on the wagons, in the barn, in my ears, eyes, nose, mouth, shoes, and under all my clothing. I can even make myself sneeze right now, just thinking about it! How's THAT for imagination?

HEADACHE:
Don't get them, do not know the experience, except when I had shingles all over my head last summer--or when I fell down on concrete and hit my head several years ago. Thank God, I do not get headaches. I see how people suffer GREATLY from them.

HELP:
I could write a blong on the word "Help". If I want to stay sober, I MUST help someone, preferably help someone get, or stay sober. Or help an alkie with a personal problem (dangerous!). Or help a next-door neighbor lady move a little furniture (also dangerous!!!!!). Often yes, (yet?) I NEED help, and I find it readily available in the rooms--well, outside the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. ALWAYS ready to help, that is how you people ARE! It is wonderful!

HUMOR:
Those of you who "know" me understand that this is a difficult word for me. Humor just is not any more a favorite substance of mine than AIR! Didja GET it??? Actually--and truthfully--I THRIVE on humor, not so much to get you all laughing, but more to make a point, to hold attention, to produce relaxation, and to do God's Will in an easy, harmless manner. I LOVE, L.O.V.E. HUMOR. "We are not a glum lot." And, "We absolutely insist on enjoying life." (Both these quotes are referenced on page 132 of our Big Book.)

More favorite "H" Words of mine: Health, Heart, Hangover, Hearing,Hurt, High Tide, Hopeless, Helpless...and Harold (name of a grasshopper).

Just picture the usual, happy, grinning Steve E., wishing you all a Very Merry Ch--NO! WAIT! ...wishing you all a wonderful Sunday, maybe a little football, food, and fun--enjoy life!


Who published this--and WHEN?

9 comments:

Shadow said...

lovely h's indeed!!!!!

Banana Girl said...

I find it so remarkable that when people come in the rooms for the first time they usually declare that all they want is to be Happy. Your "H" list did not list happy, and did not need to for each and every other "H" showed that happy is the byproduct of our useful lives in sobriety. Just wonderful. PS. I had my first taste of alcohol at a hay raising. You brought that vivid memory back. thank you

RipGurl said...

Humor of all the "H"s is my favorite. You do it justice.

I would like to add you to my blogroll, if that is okay? I could use a dose of humor in my life.

clean and crazy said...

Definitely a fun read, I love your humor too. I will play, I played before and had the letter "I". but it sounds like you had fun with it on a second go round.

Prayer Girl said...

Home is where my Heart is and I know y'all know why!!!

Now for a little reminiscing - I found my first boyfriend and first "real" kiss on a Hayride.

My "H" word for today is to tell my "Honey" how much I love him.

steveroni said...

To Prayer girl:
Well, well...live and learn! -grin

Clean and Crazy: You got letter B, Babe....

RipGurl: Blogroll me, gurl, I'll be your "laughing boy", ot humorist, or whatever. But I'm really seeryuss if ya look deep enuff. WAIT! Not THAT deep!

Banana Girl: See PG comment below! Also--five lines up from bottom..."Just picture the usual, happy, grinning Steve E..."

SHADOW: You are SO nice. Thank you!

vicariousrising said...

Wow, super "H" list! Harmony was my favorite word, although they were all winners. And thank you for the hug. Right back atcha! Thanks for playing. You're good at this blog game.

Syd said...

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing. You infuse all with your enthusiasm for life.

Linda S. Socha said...

Love this one.....
Linda