DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Thursday, October 22, 2009

NOT FUNNY and FUNNY




NOT FUNNY and FUNNY


NOT FUNNY:

How well I remember--in trying to forget--the times I would say to the bartender, in my biggest of big-shot voice, "Give everybody in the house a shot of tequila." I'd laughingly brag how "I don't drink alone", etc.  What FUN! What wonderful friends. What an asshole--me.

After one such night, when I got home and tried to sneak into the house, I crawled into the living room to turn on the TV, to make it look like I'd been home a long time. Nothing happened. Our power had been shut off, and other bills were quite in arrears. There was no milk--of course, the bonus was that it would not sour, right.  I had to see SOME good from this night.

Oh well, things would look better in the morning. Oh Yeah? At my workplace--I was a bartender--new owners were just taking possession of the business, and I was greeted with a note that I had to appear for a lie detector testing before going to work that afternoon.  

If you were a bartender of MY caliber, you would NEVER settle for a testing like that...it was humiliating. Besides, it would be even more humiliating when they found out I was knocking down the house periodically for certain sums of money, and assuming my rightful guardianship of a quart of vodka every night before locking the door, and going home. And so I did the honorable thing--I QUIT!

And I still had 4 years of further spiraling downward before sobering up. During those 4 years I suffered more damage physically, mentally, morally, and emotionally than I ever knew a human could stand--and not shoot himself in the head.

Then one evening I was ushered into a room full of you peeps, and you put Humpty Dumpty together again.  I used to scoff when I heard peeps say "...I'm eternally grateful..." but ya know, now I AM "eternally" grateful.  Thank You God, and AA, and you blogger Peeps--ALL of you, get it?  Love, and PEACE to you Peeps, from Steve E

FUNNY

And this will be tonight's JOKE at the "cookie" meeting:  

How I learned to mind my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.....some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'

21 comments:

Gin said...

Thank you for the laugh Steve! You know how badly I needed it! Still laughing....ha, ha!

Shadow said...

oh the games we played with ourselves. and those around us... thank goodness that's over.

DreamDancer said...

I always enjoy your stories, Steve. Such a grand sense of honesty mixed with humor *Smile*

Nessa said...

The way our minds can rationalize is amazing.

The joke was very funny.

Thursday Thirteen - Useless Knowledge

dAAve said...

15 ... 15 ... 15

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Silly joke! I like it.

Lie detector test. I thought about that one back then, back when it was a part of HR procedure and all. I was never subjected to one, just had to sign releases saying I'd be willing...OH BOY! I had to find out ahead of time that this particular company NEVER does that before I'd be willing to sign back then...

Still, there are things I'd RATHER not tell, but I'm willing to... It keeps me in contact with God.

Scott said...

lol, please don't let me be 15, 15, 15 today!

I saw your comment at dAAve's blog, now I get it lol

Prayer Girl said...

FUNNY - NOT FUNNY
It is a very unique thing that happens in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. We laugh and laugh at stories that should make us weep. Sometimes we find ourselves smiling, grinning, and bobbing our heads when we listen to people share the horror of "what it was was like".

It was this identification that helped me know I was not alone, that there were others just like me, who understood me intimately, and this helped me heal.

PG

Dulce said...

ha ha ha... you peep are really good at jokes.... Thank God, yes, that not-so-funny is over
Love and peace to my fave peep!***

TechnoBabe said...

15...15...15! That would be me.
The part about you being a musician and an alcoholic is similar to my hubby. He is a composer/musician/guitar player and has been clean and sober nine years now. So I already like your blog. I am working on step ten in a codependents anonymous program and my sponsor is in more than one program and is a wonderful woman. I am just trying to grow up.

Inky said...

what a great laugh once again Steve.. we all need this on any given day.. SMILES

thejunkyswife said...

:)

wolfie185 said...

I identify with working at a job that has booze on hand and stealing it. Of course I would rationalize stealing by thinking they don't pay me enough for all my hard work. It is sad to think of the lengths we went to keep on drinking but we never have to go back to that old way of thinking which is the bright side.

Thanks for a good post and a good laugh

Cat said...

The story reminds me of how far my husband has come and it inspires me that he too can make it to many, many sober years - just like you have.

The joke - was a riot!

Ed G. said...

Love the joke - I HAVE to steal it...

Blessings and aloha...

Tall Kay said...

Thank God we can laugh at the insanity of the past today! Loved the FUNNY! Your stories are wonderful...keep 'em coming :o)

Syd said...

Good one Steve. I laughed out loud.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

This is great!!! Great post great points and aren't the miracles of recovery amazing...they are to me!!!

Thanks for the laugh too!!! great joke...I amgoing to share it at work tomorrow!

Love ya,
G

Just Be Real said...

Good one Stevie. Needed a chuckle. Thanks dear.

garden-variety drunk said...

just the sight of the word tequila still brings waves of nausea. 17 shots for my 17th birthday- i never touched tequila again. *shudders*

Alice Audrey said...

LOL. I hope you were able to laugh at yourself.