Sunday, October 25, 2009


 Sitting here with my bright yellow keyboard, (ooops! wrong color?) I am listening to the MAGNIFICAT,  Gregorian chanting by monastery monks.  Also trying to write a short blog which makes sense, for a change. The change would be reflected in both: making sense. And short!

What I think or think about will not play in Chicago.  It will not make headlines across the nation, across the oceans. I'm thinking at this moment:  How wonderful it would be for a Peep to walk in the AA door saying, "I cannot stop.  I just can't stop!  What should I do?"  Those words would be most welcome in ANY meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.  And I LOVE-IT...to hear the words of POWERLESSNESS spoken in earnest, in complete surrender. THEN is when God can work through another person in recovery to "do God's work!"...Pick me--pick me!


Coming home from choir-singing this afternoon, I was traveling my usual-slow-styled ride, when a little red sports car (convertible) cut me off (about 50 mph).  He passed less than one meter in front of my scooter, scared the you-know-what out of me.

OK, here is a view of what can-does-DID pass through my mind in just a split fraction of one second of time. (Everyone's brain does this, BTW., so I'm just observing me in this post.)  My first thought (insane) was "Let him wipe me out! SO WHAT?" My next thought (sane) was to get those brakes on FAST...which I did, of course, or you would not be reading this --grin!

The many thoughts IN BETWEEN first, and last above, are what inspired me to write this post. Note how MUCH activity is available to our brains in a micro-second of time:

1.  I thought, "Yesss, I'm gonna meet my God, at last. What a wonderful day this IS!"

2.  It will be "magical" to meet all my friend and relatives who have passed on, and the saints, and God Himself edited"As I Understood Him".

3. Oh! But there is "hell to pay" first...what I believe in, a purging, called Purgatory. Am I really ready for THAT?

4.  What if I do NOT die?  What then?

5.  Probably be laid up for a "blong" time.

6.  Might get loaded up with drugs by some well-meaning doctor.  And knowing me, there is always a possibility of getting hooked on them, or back to my daily alcohol intake, and totally crappy BEHAVIORS!

7.  What if I lose my mind, as in a coma?  What about bed-ridden for years?  Nope. That does NOT sound like my favorite way to leave here...

OK.  Peeps, those were all thoughts in that VERY split second, all the while, my horn was beeping--lot of good a horn will do , when you are lying in the street.  But I'm wanting you--and I--to know, the fleeting though-wave which FORCED me to clamp down hard on my dual ABS-system brakes.  It was this thought:

What ever would be the outcome, this one fact was certain.  Prayer Girl would NEVER (as long as we were together) allow me to have another scooter or motorized two-or-three wheeled vehicle again. Ever...NEVER!  Wouldn't you KNOW, that was the single thought which brought me to (I'll call it) sanity?   I thank God that "time" will bend itself to allow me, on occasion, to have enough thought, to reach a conclusion.  That instant conclusion was:

1. I'd maybe NOT be able to blog today, and

2. No more riding my scooter.

2. Possibly (doubtful, though, because I would have lived!) No "good-byes" to my family, friends in AA, and YOU, my very most special of Peeps, you bloggers, especially you who I am coming to know SO well, as to have a place in my heart for you.

I know it sounds--IS--selfish, but often accidents, death, or illness ARE selfish issues.  But ya know, it shows me what is really important to me, in my life at this time. Meanwhile...shiny side UP, rubber side DOWN.  A scooter rider in Virginia taught me that. It's called "Basic Scooter Riding 1.01" 

Well, my angel with his new name WAS with me this afternoon.  Thank you Shadow!

Peeps, I LOVE you,
Wish you the "Joy of Living sober"
and of course, a huge amount of PEACE in your lives.

"SHADOW" photo credit to Scott G W


Ed G. said...

Nice shadow, nice story. Glad it worked out the way it did for you this time.

Blessings and aloha...

Mike Golch said...

Great posting,thanks for it.Peace and lots of soberity your way.

Dulce said...

Hey peep!!? you are scaring your sweeter poetess. Why don't you drive a car for a change?
I've experienced that thousanth of a second when the whole life you've lived passes in front of you and the future...and everything... a couple of times in my whole life... what remains is adrenalin 1000/second- we must lose lots of brain cells in that minimal time... and yes, we are born again!
But BOYBOYBOYBOY. It makes you wonder.,...
So, please do not go out there in a scooter. Keep safe. I want you HERE you know??!!

Peace and sleep well my dear PEEP

Steve E. said...

ED, what do you mean "THIS TIME" --grin! Never mind, I know what you mean, friend!

MIKE, loads of sober peace to you also.

DDulce "sweeter poetess!" I believe our brain cells MULTIPLY in those situations, rather than die. Well, i really don't know. Wonder who does? But it sure woke ME up!
Peace to all!

Andrew said...

I'm glad you braked rather than take that ultimate trip.

I've splattered my body all over the highway a few times and it isn't pretty. You saw a part of the results at Annie's when I was wearing clamdiggers.

Tall Kay said...

Good job at the brakes! I have yet to have a "close" call, but I think I would probably just close my eyes and bale...maybe I'd remember to brake. Grateful there was no damage to the you, the scooter or the sports car :o)

Shadow said...

close calls always bring a myriad of feelings and what if's... glad your shadow was there for you again!

Scott said...

lol Steve... ya crack me up man!

Margie said...

I've had a few close calls also but it's always been ok and then I say "thank God I'm still here!"
I love this life of mine and want to be around for a long time!

So glad you are ok Steve!
Be careful out there!

Joy and blessings to you ... always!


Nessa said...

I am glad your angel was with you, too.

I love listening to Gregorian chants for pleasure.

Book Review #4 - Drood

kberman said...

Steve, I love your comments to other blogs almost as this blog. I am concerned about your riding the scooter. Today is my 69th birthday so I'm entitled to be concerned.

Scooters are great fun, I'm sure, but I want to live for 30 more years so I drive very defensively with my Mazda Miata that I just bought because my husband left me for another woman and this little car has boosted my pleasure.

But it is really little so 0I060 often get the comment--"You need to be careful on that." Surprisingly, it is usually said by men only. And I know it is because they care. I do, too. Love, Kathy kathyberman.com.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you are OKAY!! I hate those almost moments, they are very scary for sure. I know my husband has an angel, he was sandwiched between a school bus and a flat bed carrying 6 culverts, when they stopped, the flat bed was on top of his car, that looked like he was the filling , and he got out with only a few scratches. Everyone said he had his angel with him and I know he did.
My husband was almost killed because of one elder man and a young man fighting over road space, and my husband had to be the one to pay.
THank God for angels..

BTW are you and prayer girl a couple? sorry for being nosy.. LOL

Just Be Real said...

Love the pic! Cutting it close or having a close call, is too close to call!

Blessings dear one!

Angeles said...

Hi Steve. I found the problem with your blog, it was because of the traductor ummm?? I`ll be here soon. OK?

Syd said...

Braking is reflexive. When my car was totaled and I saw those headlights ready to hit, I knew that I didn't have an out. I hoped the car would withstand the crash. It kept me protected and held up as well as could be expected. I just thought--I'm going to be hit and a split second prayer like "oh God".