Sunday, October 4, 2009


"Wait!  You did not tell me 
they were REAL steps!"


Yes, well...the meeting topic  yesterday was "When I arrived at the door of Alcoholics Anonymous, what did I do to fill the hole left, by not drinking, not fraternizing with my 'friends', not fighting, and not drinking--grin.

How did I fill up that huge emptiness, that hole in my body, my life--of time spent drinking, of 'fun'...and finally of misery, of chaos, of hopelessness?

For one thing, there was a great hole, but it was not in me. I was in it! It was as if I was caught in this immense, ummm, black-hole. It kept filling up with more and more crapola, and kept getting larger, as might a stomach being constantly fed.

The only way out of this hole--of which drinking large daily amounts of booze was a true symptom--was a ladder being handed down from above. Isn't it interesting that this ladder contained Twelve Steps?

All I had to do was start climbing--take that first step, admit my powerlessness.  And there was a light which began shining dimly at first, a light of hope, that here was an opportunity to begin anew, again, once more.

When I was ready, God put the ladder in my path.  You people met me, helped me, prayed for me, told me to "Don't drink!  Come back next week". And I did just that--thirty-five and a half years ago.

However many times I Fk'd up, I always was given another chance--by God, that is.  Not to mislead you--from my first meeting in AA, I never drank again. God did for me what I could NEVER do for myself. And I simply kept following that beacon of hope, which shone brighter with each period of painful change.

Each plateau of growth seemed to have added a few more Watts to the bulb lighting the way.  I have two bulbs shining the way now, Alcoholics Anonymous, and the religion of my childhood. God has really smiled on me, Peeps!

Oh, I forgot to mention...that ladder of Twelve Steps? It has extensions, each having Twelve Steps.  I am beginning to again take someone through  the steps. I will once more pull out the extension for myself...and re-learn and re-take those Twelve Steps.  This is "How It Works" for me today.

In gratitude, I am your steveroni.
Thank you for your love.



~Christina~ said...

Outstanding post, Steve-eroni! I love the analogy of being in the hole and God delivering a stairway of 12 steps. I think in the visual, so that was very vibrant to me.

I thank you for your loving comment on my blog today about Jacksons hair donation to locksoflove.org. Always appreciate YOUR love through the blog world!

Ed G. said...

Nicely said.

Blessings and aloha...

wolfie185 said...

Great post Steve!!

Shadow said...

nice ladder you have there steve!

Andrew said...

Welcome back Steve. Good to read your words again.

Dulce said...

Thank you for this post, which makes me so wonder!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I know exactly what you mean...being the hole... I was always trying to figure out how to get it... how to receive, how to find...

And never willing to take the direction of someone else without an awful lot of good reasoning (sheesh...all my good reasons for not just done construction instead of destruction are astounding)

Glad you're continuing to share the experience, strenght and hope that allows me to share in the common experiences! :) Glad God is active in our lives together!!!

Indigo said...

I always thought those steps helped me find my way to the person I was meant to be. Strange thing is I thought life was far easier before. It was only through the struggles that followed that I found those aspects of myself that I respect and love today.

Wonderfully said dear friend! (Hugs)Indigo

Pete Hoge said...

Thankfully, Yes, God gives us
another chance.

And then we give others the same


Syd said...

Nice post Steve. I like that the steps are the way out of the hole of despair. How true that is.

diane d said...

Wonderful post!!!

Gin said...

Steve that ladder looks better and better every day!

Margie said...

Welcome back, steve.
Thank you for sharing your life.
I know you are helping many with all that you share.

And God bless you!


garden-variety drunk said...

up and out. that's what i wanted when i got to AA and that's exactly what the steps provided me with, one day at a time. thank G-d!

Cat said...

I do like the idea of the ladder and the steps it fits nicely into my world.

John DeFlumeri Jr said...

Nice ladder story, Steve, and I'm glad you are back, I missed you!

John DeFlumeri Jr

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