Tuesday, December 15, 2009


This post may read as a bit bawdy. It is partly the true story of me, and my first exposure to the world of Eros. I did not realize this erotic world was "bad" until a few years after, when I was TOLD it was "bad"!  And do you know, I still cannot bring myself to see it as anything but good, a gift from God.

I place all the blame for publishing this bawdiness, on my friend SYD (maybe now 'past' friend?) whose one-time "Bawdy Blog" (see it HERE) last week inspired this post.


You know, I might just come off sounding as a "cold-hearted" Peep here. But I will tell you I seldom really enjoyed printed eroticism--unless, as in the case of blogger Peeps, I 'know' the author. It was never a great turn-on for me to read about someone ELSE'S "fantastic journey" through an affair of one kind or another.

Also, hearing about sexual escapades has never excited me.  I'm listening to guys always (all my life, from age 5) love to tell (brag) about their prowess with women in general, one woman in particular. And always EVERY TIME, I say silently to myself, "Where was I?  Why didn't I think of that? Why wasn't I included in that group?"

Something must be wrong with me, that I do not enjoy this talk or these stories so much. A DOER I must be--not a spectator! Let the "busy-hands" of the voyeurs know NOT what they are missing.

Two remarks here are to clarify.  

ONE, at the age of five years, I found myself in bed with an eight-year-old girl. We did, that night, everything I have since heard or imagined which two people would or could do to and with each other...naked. The only thing we did NOT do was.........sleep! She--Nellie Jane--was ever so gentle with me, took me randomly anywhere, everywhere, on and in her body, so loving and patient, she.

Nellie Jane taught me--maybe we learned together-- the art of loving long before others of my peerage even considered that boys owned a body part which, on the body of a girl was absent. I knew early in life that you female Peeps had something FAR more valuable than I. You enjoyed ownership of the apple  of which I loved to suck on the skin and eat the meat.

My food, my drink, my air, my life, is tied up inside that centeredness, whence I came. I and my "Southern eight-year-old" lover cooked and consumed platefuls during those nine hours of blissful impurities--or purities! And the aroma, the scent of that secret center of her--oh! the rapture, the frenzy, the trance, oh! the utter ECSTASY of it all! I hurt!

I have frequently wondered if there are many who at such tender age, before their "Carnegie Hall Debut" were so blest, so honored, so ready to say, "Death, take me now...I have lived it all and am happy, satisfied, ready!" Such gentleness, such caring, sharing, wanting, needing, learning, loving, have I experienced NEVER since.

Enough about ONE! Here is the SECOND appropriately clarifying statement of Steve. Having written the above, I wish to let you know that erotic literature does not necessarily turn me off.

One author has touched me, caressed me with his word-pictures ever since age 24. The introduction of myself to Pierre Louys came by a woman, a 'cellist in the Cincinnati Symphony orchestra where I played violin. The 'cello player became my second wife. Pierre Louys's book of poetry "Aphrodite and the Songs of Bilitis" became my/our nightly AND morning meditation. I love Bilitis to this day. HERE are a few brief examples....

I am SOBER today.
I LOVE today.
I am at PEACE.
And I wish loveliness for ALL you Peeps!


Anonymous said...

Some kids start earlier than others, and You are the earliest one I ever heard of. I sensed that you were a special person!


Steve E said...

Secretia, actually, five years is a LONG time to wait. --grin!

Dulce said...

Wow Man.
feeling love and lust by such a young boy can only lead to the most intense climax a human being can experience... I understand why you thought life could have perfectly ended at that moment
I understand also why you are so charming to women...
Oh you sweet peep have a full story LIFE!

Anonymous said...

I have been meaning to stop by for an age. My apologies - finally made it. :)

This is totally enthralling read - and there isn't enough use of the word 'bawdy' in blogs these days. I salute you for both.

Anonymous said...

GM steve, I to read Syd Bawdy blog post and loved it. Someone sent it to me last year, it was a hoot.

Now FIVE years OLD OMG, I can now see why you thought life was over then LOL

Shall I call you the "primordial god" LOL
I love reading other sides of people, LOVE IT


Syd said...

Whoa, Steve, man...you even made me blush. Five years old---holy cow. I was interested in cap guns and pocket knives. I thought that girls were something to be avoided. Nellie Jane must have watched too many cows and horses and had a very active imagination.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I get this post...very clearly and dearly...thank you for the honestly and the grace to share it for those of us who have felt the shame of knowing before we were "thought to have known" thank you!


clean and crazy said...

is that why you have a yellow background on your blog. it is an aphrodisiac as my father always said. really it is sad how that part of life is such a huge secret, yet a huge part in everyone's life.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

LOL you honestly, aren't so different from us others of the world.

My first experience wasn't the same, but it was similar and as fresh and new and full of life and innocence and discovery.

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