Sunday, August 10, 2008



Seldom--maybe once a month, or once a year--do I have a 'sit-on-the-pity-pot' moment, and this past Friday is my example. Friday morning (4:30 AM, remember?) I awakened, with the thought right there in front of my rather undersized brain, that absolutely nobody loves me, nobody cares--about ME! Wow, we talk often about "having rid ourselves of" self-centeredness, fear, paranoia, guilt, shame, remorse, et., at meetings, and with sponsors. But here I am in early dark, dawn hours, thinking that "Nobody loves me". HA! (Alcohol is cunning, baffling, POWERFUL!)

Well, I got "over it" as soon as I knelt down, and asked my best Friend, the only Person Who loves me and you 100% to ..."lend a hand here, before I get into deep shit trouble, Man". And help was instantaneous in this matter at this time. So I biked across town (lotta FUN!) to the place of my daily meeting.

At the 7 AM meeting I sat next to a tall guy, fairly new in the program, with whom I have a "recovery-affinity", and we chatted a bit. I even relayed my "Nobody cares..." story with him, had to tell someone. We laughed about it, at least I did.

Then, in walked a girl (Some who read this might recall 'cookie-maker extraordinaire' Polly), who sat a couple seats away from me. Within a minute, she reached over and handed to me a bag, containing two beautiful home-baked, chocolate chip COOKIES. They had been left over from a meeting the night before. Polly had baked them. She is the best chocolate chip cookie make I know--and I'm an 'expert'! The 'new' guy and I exchanged glances, shook our heads, and laughed, knowing that God was somehow here at work.

Believe this, I almost (almost? Ha!) had tears in my eyes, at this gesture of friendship, of "caring", if I may use that term. Remember, only two hours before that, my disease of alcoholism was telling me that "Nobody cared!" and here, sitting at the meeting, were between 60 and 70 people without cookies. But Polly gave then to ME! Thank you Polly, and may God Bless you, for you--and Him--helping me to begin Friday with a bit more self-knowledge, and an 'attitude of gratitude' rating of 99.9%.

To explain this 'attitude of gratitude'...well, I ATE the cookies, did not 'share'. After all, isn't a gift twice blest, in her who gives, and in him who eats? (Hope you're laughing...I am!)

God loves you ALL...and me, too!

1 comment:

Shadow said...

yes you got me to grin here. and you enjoyed the cookie?!?!? didn't share??? mmmm, you should be glad i wasn't in that meeting, you may have had to thumb war me for it. chocolate chip cookies are the BEST!!!!