A DAY IN THE LIFE OF...AND THOUGHTS ON ADDICTION
This is one of those "regular" days, where I get to rise and ride before the morning traffic wakes up my world rumbling and tooting, and go to some early AA meetings. Then, another meeting in afternoon, and maybe one at night also. Am I addicted? My wife thinks so. What do I think? Wellll (blush!). Come on, Steve--the truth! I was told, while once working the Steps, "If it didn't kill ya to DO it, it ain't gonna kill ya to WRITE it." So.....I'm an alcoholic, and I'm an addict--are they the same? Who knows? Who cares?
It seems as if I'm always trading off one addiction (The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or involved in something) for another. And I suppose, when I get right down to it, each habit is, in its own way, mind-altering, sometimes mind-bending =grin=.
My problem now has become--was it not always?--one of balance. How unique! Me, the first person in history to experience wanting more and more--too much--of something, anything.
Much of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous was spent in working two or three jobs--I remember working hundreds of seven-day weeks, and rather enjoying it...days and nights. A friend of mine uses the screen name "Raging Worker" and ya know, I have been just that for many years. And now, I'm "Raging something", don't know what...yet. Maybe "Raging Retired Guy" or "Raging Unbalanced Meeting Maker". Many years in the work world I dreamed (a LOT!) of one day being retired and going to many, many AA meetings...and a chain of sudden circumstances led me to the "right ones", or so I believe. I'm having REALLY GREAT FUN, doing the meetings, interacting with SO many new people, and with some whom I have known for a long time, but seldom have seen.
Between meetings I get my daily "pure enjoyment time", reading these AA blogs, and commenting--I truly Looove this part of my day. I try (feign?) to spread around stuff I've learned by listening to others in AA...along with a bit of humor, that "glum lot" thing!
Then, just as I must (try to) practice the Twelve Steps each day, or I will slip backwards...I must spend some time every day practicing the violin--or lose it.
For breakfast I ate one banana. That's all. And I remember the days when my breakfast consisted of a tumbler full of vodka, colored with an ounce of o.j., two raw eggs, and two vitamin pills: shake it like crazy all together...ahhh! drink it down. I could face an army those many mornings.
Better not provide my complete daily diet here, or I WOULD generate some comments, with tips on eating habits! (I do enjoy reading--but not devouring--the blog of that girl who lays out some recipes each day, forget who that is.) Well, time to get on my bike (AHHHhhh, wonderful!) and be "on the road again" to my current obsession. Thank You, God...I think!
Stay sober today--I will too!
8 comments:
Hello again, blimey youve been sober for decades like my sponsor so I am a mere baby still learning to walk.
In my early days I had loads of enthusiasm but has time has gone on my enthusiasm has lessened for AA, I always attend 1 meeting per week but other than when I am on holiday I dont have any desires to drink.
I do know that I have got to avoid pent up anger directed usually at my ex and the mother of my son, that is my danger but I love life now, good to be alive
Well said. Those were some of the same thoughts I had when both of my daughters started school a few weeks ago. That I will make more meetings, that I will read more blogs...and I have and I LOVE it. It has all worked out. I do believe that I have an addiction to the blogging, though. The first step is admitting it, right? ;)
oh a bike... true freedom...
hmmm, yes, addiction. well, i guess i'm still addicted. but now it's exercise, walking the dogs, writing, creating weird things in the kitchen... so yes, i guess addictive is part of (my) personality. as long as it's healthy we'll be fine, right?!?!?
For Kristin H.(and others...and ME!) Yep, and then comes 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and what? TWELVE???
I like my meetings and reading these blogs. Some days are more rushed than others and when I'm out of town it is difficult. But I enjoy all of what recovery has to offer.
Hey Alkieseltzer. Thanks for the drop by. Yeah P/M can be a pain in the old patootie. I lke your attitude towards him. Better yet I like your rig. Riding every morning. I used to love to do that.
Have not ridden since 1998. Back probs became too much. I missit most when I see a group of bikers out for a spin. But I have the memories and they ain't failed me yet. Yes, It is great to be sober.
Stopping by to wave hello.
How anyone can call meetings addictive - I just don't get how it could be a negative thing. Recovery.... so good. So NOT like an addictive drug.
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