Tuesday, September 22, 2009




All my life, drunk or sober, I have been a terrible arguer.  When am I terrible?   That is when I argue without any facts, when I argue just for the sake of, and when I do so just to hear me talk loud. Terrible is for me to argue about inconsequential crapola, even fight over tomorrow's weather.  Terrible is  when I make insane statements--in fact, I know THAT is terrible because of the remorse I suffer later.  Remorse, because of the  sometimes trouble I have caused others or myself.

Terrible is to argue--or even to say anything--without first thinking. So that's "typical" ME. Now you know.  Not a pretty sight.  In our Big Book on page 84 is written "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone--even alcohol."  Well, I got the "alcohol" part down real good right off.  But I did not see, read, nor could have understood the "anyone or anything" concept.  What an idea, arriving before its time --grin! 

  • So, where is all this leading?  Well, I have "ceased arguing!"  Yep, Peeps, you won't hear me say Fk more than once a day from now on.  
  • It is a huge philosophical change for me to say--and mean it--"You may be right".  Only four words, and they can be used over and over--the "recipient" will not mind one bit.
  • In the past--until four weeks ago--I could never let a disagreement end until I thought I had won.  
  • I'm working now to become a "seeker of peace" not necessarily among nations, but one-on-one.  For that is where I now know peace begins--with me.
  • I have become not only a believer, but  I speak out now for Peeps who do not think, act, nor live like me, and their rights to live equally, peacefully, and as they know to be correct for themselves.  I also expect the same treatment for myself, from others--this may not take place.
  • Prior to a couple months ago, I thought my self-styled "benevolence" was being distributed by an "elevated form of tolerance" for certain groups, races, minorities, genders, and other lifestyles.  During my trip I have found that we peeps are not different from one another--we are different WITH each other.  For me (not trying to tell you how to think, here, peeps!), I have traded the word tolerance for the word LOVE.
Considering that God loves with perfection all which he has made, I should also (but delete the word "perfection" of course --grin!) show love for all and everything.  Sometimes this is not easy...but is a goal which--with a long life-- seems attainable, at least if I water it down a bit.  Watered down version:  fluctuant degrees of love.  Maybe I  can work up from there--it IS a beginning!

Today's message from me is PEACE for all, and to all.  I cannot help but combine that with prayers for a clean and sober day...and LOVE!  Is there much else?


Brandi said...

For me arguing and fighting have been about some kind of sick need to always have others see things my way. I like the phrase from the St. Francis prayer: "to understand, rather than be understood." I'm trying to remember that anytime I feel myself getting defensive or angry. It helps.

Linda S. Socha said...

Funny how trains of thought may tend to run along the same lines in blogland....I have been thinking I would like to just replace irritation and argument with humor..
Thanks for the post Steve

Tall Kay said...

This is a wonderful 'change' to make. Where did 'being right' ever get us anyway? Do we want to be right, or do we want to be happy?

wolfie185 said...

Thanks Steve and welcome to the world of loving kindness and compassion towards all ;-)

Peace be with you and all of us.
Your Buddhist friend

enchantedoak said...

One of my favorite alcoholic activities was to argue while the bottle drew empty. I did that when younger. Then I went into alcoholic apathy as the disease progressed. Now in sobriety, as the book says, we shall cease fighting and comprehend the word "peace." May your Higher Power bless your day with peace, both inner and with the peeps.

Shadow said...

wow, do i love your post today. may 'steal' some of your intentions here...

Dulce said...

yes you are so right... argueing is useless. I tend not to argue but discuss, and not much either.
I am glad for you, although I somehow knew you are not the type who like arguments.
For you are a Peaceful peep!

Madison said...

If you argued over the weather, it's a good thing you didn't run into my mother-in-law. She'd give you a run for your money.

Scott said...

love and tolerance of others is our code....

I read that somewhere in the Big Book, right near the place you found "we have ceased fighting..."

it's a great way to live when I can remember and then manage to do it! We've been talking alot about this at home group.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Love and Tolerance, not for the other but really for ourselves in order to allow and let others be themeselves all among us..it is love that works it's magick among us and it's love that also heals...

so love this change Steve...

Thank you for the courageous post...


Margie said...

I have never been one to argue.
I am sure the change you have made has led to peace!
A peaceful heart is a gentle heart!

Peace to you, always!


Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I'm a wonderful arguer
read that: one - der - full

one: me myself and I
der: abbreviation for "derivitive"
ful: full

'wonderful' argument = "argument full of me"

:) My diseased way of thinking :)

Steve E. said...

Jessie, along with being a "won-der-ful arguer", you are also a wordsmythe?

Is that also a diseased way of thinking? LOL Just kidding!

LOVE your blogs AND your comments.

Everyone has been SO tolerant of my thoughts in these comment, I expected some heavy disagreements, or at least some, "Yeah, who does he yhink HE is?"

Gin said...

((((Steve)))) Peace!

Syd said...

I found that arguing was about being in control about being able to be "right". I no longer care about that. I ask How Important Is It? Most of the time, not very. Great post.

Sammy Landry said...

A lofty goal, Steve, but one that I aspire to as well.
Thanks a lot for your post today.
blythe and sammy

Speak YOUR Peace said...

I love you Steve E.!
Contribute to the Wall of Peace by leaving your definition of Peace.

Great post!